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January
10, 2008 Transcript [Window shatters] Alexis: This is breaking and entering. Diane: Misdemeanor trespass. Alexis: It's also grand theft -- you took Big Dave’s gun. Diane: Oh -- if you're so certain that you should be litigator of the year, then I'm sure you will find some way to get us off should the need arise. Alexis: I've already won litigator of the year -- and I wasn't there. Diane: I won, and my lonely little trophy is as cold as I am -- although, not half as hungry. Alexis: They stole our coats, you know. It's not any warmer in here. We should've stayed in the car. Diane: Oh, please. If it weren't for me, you would have left your Neela Llorente gown in the back of that car, and now you would have to explain to Kate Howard why it's just a little pile of ashes. [Diane sighs] Alexis: So what now, Sherlock? Diane: Well, I'm freezing, I'm all wet, I can't stay in these clothes. Alexis: Oh -- I'm afraid if I sit down, I'll stick to it. Diane: Here. Alexis: Oh -- gross. Diane: I'm sorry, Alexis, but I just did not take you for this much of a priss. Alexis: This is a Neela Llorente gown. Diane: And this is a biker bar -- with a broken thermostat. And this is our $500-a-plate award dinner. Hmm. To capable women. [Bottles clink] Diane: Ooh. What? Alexis: I was just thinking about your sudden confession about how you killed a man. Diane: Well, I certainly didn't use one of these. I was a very young public defender who had just been assigned a client accused of a hate crime; 27-year-old Caucasian male -- blond-haired, brown-eyed William Guidry. Alexis: You still remember his name? Diane: I remember his crime. He raped a 16-year-old girl because -- as he so gleefully told me -- he could. And then he killed her because she was black. I found a procedural violation that would've gotten him off -- and I didn't act on it. I could not look at the victim's family and watch him go free. So he went to prison, and he was murdered -- stabbed doing laundry detail. And I still can't decide who committed the worse crime -- William Guidry, or the men who executed him, or me -- for playing God and giving them the chance to do it. You know, maybe I'm not really award material after all. Diane: Alexis Davis, I present you with litigator of the year. Alexis: Yeah, well, it turns out I can't accept this award. Diane: Why not? Alexis: Strangely enough, I killed somebody, too. Diane: You killed someone? Alexis: It was an accident. I accidentally pushed a man over a hotel balcony and to his death. There were mitigating circumstances. Diane: Well, there'd have to be. I mean, he was, after all, a man. Alexis: He was a monster -- killed my sister, got away with it. And then when I was in labor in the middle of nowhere, he was there and he left me there to die, so I snapped. Diane: Abandonment issues. Alexis: Hmm. Diane: Something tells me you came from no more of a loving parental relationship than I did. It says a lot about you -- no judgment, just an observation. Alexis: So why do we do it? Diane: Do what? Alexis: Sonny and Jason and Ric -- Diane: Jerry. Alexis: I'm doing that for Jax. Diane: Oh, Alexis, and here I thought we were being truthful. Alexis: I am just too tired to figure that one out. Diane: No, you're too uptight -- [Alexis chuckles] Diane: But we'll get you there. [Alexis giggles] Alexis: Okay. [Diane giggles] Diane: All righty. Pick your poison. Alexis: Cyanide. Diane: You want to stay warm or not? Alexis: Which one do you want? Diane: Which one do you want? Alexis: That one. Diane: I want that one. Alexis: It's a good thing nobody can see me in this. Diane: Poor you. [Alexis sighs] Alexis: God -- Diane: Hey, look what I found. Alexis: Whoa! Diane: So, you come to any conclusions? Alexis: About what? Diane: About the men in our lives. Powerful men -- the Sonnys and the Jasons and the Rics and the Jerrys? Alexis: I don't know. Maybe it's about control. [Music plays] Alexis: People fear them and respect them out of fear, then they come to us for help. Diane: Bingo. Very good. But wait -- there's more. Alexis: Hmm? Diane: I was raised by my father -- he was a powerful man. He was a judge, so he was respected and feared. But the man would've starved to death if I hadn't cooked dinner for him every night. So I was needed -- albeit, at a very cold distance. Of course, this was before the cancer got him and he turned into a puppy. But by then, it was too late. There's a reason why women like you and I are alone -- or we have an occasional dalliance and then go back to being alone. For us, it's enough. Alexis: Is it? Singer: Sometimes they've never been sure [Music plays] Diane: Did you see the phone? Could you have told me about the phone? I just finished putting all the sticky quarters I had found into that jukebox so we'll have music for the rest of the evening. Of course, it will also drown out the sound of the cockroaches carting off what's left of the chips. Singer: Sometimes Alexis: So do you think that we've learned anything tonight? Diane: About each other? Maybe. Alexis: So where do we go when we need something? Diane: Ourselves. Alexis: Yeah. Yeah, that's enough. Diane: Is it? Singer: And when you fall I'll know better than to
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