January 2, 2008 Transcript
"I've Just Been Nominated for Litigator of the Year!"

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Alexis: I don't have time right now for Jerry Jacks and his patented version of verbal thrust and parry. As you can see, my hands are full.

Jerry: Well, I can see, then let me help you with --

Alexis: I don't need your help.

Jerry: Yes, yes, you do --

Alexis: Let go of my papers.

Jerry: You see? All these trees had to die so you could have me exactly where you want me, which is on my knees, darling.

Alexis: Then why don't you be a good little boy and crawl on out of here? Oh, my God.

Jerry: What?

Alexis: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Alexis screams]

Jerry: What --

Alexis: I've just been nominated for litigator of the year!

Jerry: My, my, my. "Alexis Davis, Esq.," If you please. "This letter is to inform you that the Women Attorneys' Association has hereby nominated you for litigator of the year"! Blah, blah, blah -- "for excellence in jurisprudence --"

Alexis: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jerry: "Innovative, intellectual interrogatives," blah, blah, blah -- "prudent principles of precedent," etc., etc., etc. It sounds very prestigious.

Alexis: Oh, it is -- it really is. Past recipients have gone on to sit on the federal bench. I know someone -- ended up on the Supreme Court.

Jerry: Well, I'd love to -- I mean, I'd pay to see that. I mean, you dressed up in black, holding court? You know, the American judicial system's abandonment of the traditional powdered wig is such a shame -- such a shame, really.

Alexis: You better pray that the day doesn't come where I'm staring down at you from that bench because I will throw the book at you.

Jerry: Oh, well, then you'd have to recuse yourself because of our personal involvement.

Alexis: There's nothing personal about our involvement.

Jerry: Oh, well, I would think that the -- you know, the "Litigator of the Year" would be a much better liar.

Alexis: I haven't won yet.

Jerry: But you will. And I want to be a witness of your success, so Alexis Davis, Esq., will you do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to the Women Attorneys' Association's dinner for "Litigator of the Year"?

Alexis: That would be an imprudent principle of precedent, one that I have no intention of setting.

Alexis: I just wanted to thank you once again for that nomination because it's -- it's really an honor. It means a lot to me. Yeah. Uh -- I'll be coming alone. Just me. No date. Well, okay. I look forward to seeing you, too. Thank you. Hi, Carly.

Carly: Hello. Here you go.

Alexis: Oh. What's this?

Carly: That is a notice to vacate the premises.

Alexis: Yes, I can see what it is because I'm an attorney, you know? It says so right on the door. It's just why are you giving it to me?

Carly: Failure to pay rent -- first December, now January.

Alexis: I'm sorry. I just switched business managers, so I'm sure they're playing catch-up. I will have a check issued to you today.

Carly: You know what? Just because Jax for some crazy reason considers you a good friend doesn't mean you get to walk all over him.

Alexis: No -- that's your job.

Carly: I hope you don't think you can stay in my hotel without paying. Let's get that straight, okay?

Alexis: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was snippy, immature. I -- I will promise you that I will have the check issued to you and this will never happen again.

Carly: Fine.

[Alexis sighs]

Alexis: Carly? You know, you're right. I am fortunate to have a friend like Jax. He is the most wonderful person in the whole world.

Carly: Okay, and?

Alexis: And as the Metro Court's one and only deadbeat attorney tenant, I want to offer you as restitution my unsolicited advice. Do whatever you can to make Jax happy. We both know he deserves it.

Alexis: Speaking of which, guess which female, who happens to be your mother, was nominated for "Woman Litigator of the Year"? Yeah! Thanks. I'm thrilled, too. Listen, I'm a little torn right now about asking if you'll baby-sit the kids while I'm in Philadelphia, or asking you to go to Philadelphia with me, because you'd be the one person in the audience that isn't parsing every word of my acceptance speech when I win. No, Viola can't do it because she already made plans and she can't change them. Really? Oh, good. Thank you. All right, I'll talk to you later. I've got to go buy shoes.

Alexis: Hi.

Maxie: Hi.

Alexis: Thanks for coming.

Maxie: No problem.

Alexis: I'm going to an awards dinner in Philadelphia, so I need a dress.

Maxie: Let me guess -- you want something that screams "award winner."

Alexis: I don't know if I want it to scream. Maybe proclaim in a loud voice. Maybe a whisper -- sometimes people hear you better when you're speaking softly. It's too bad Kate Howard’s not here, you know, because I could really use her help.

Maxie: Well, why don't I just show you what we have?

Alexis: Oh, Maxie. I'm sorry, honestly. I'm going on about dresses and awards and things and -- are you okay?

Maxie: Well, it's not so bad when I'm not at home. It's walking through the front door that really gets me. Georgie used to wait up to make sure I got home okay.

Alexis: I lost my sister and we weren't nearly as close as you and Georgie were. Is your mother around?

Maxie: I'm sure you heard about the funeral.

Alexis: Mothers make mistakes.

Maxie: My mom leaving was not a mistake, it was a choice. She had her life to lead. She didn't want her children getting in the way.

Alexis: Ric?

Ric: Yeah, just a minute. Yeah, come in. Alexis.

Alexis: Ah. I didn't mean to interrupt a meeting.

Skye: No, I can go.

Ric: No, no, no.

Alexis: No, don't -- sit. You look very comfortable. So if you're in the middle of a merger of some sort, I don't want to interrupt.

Ric: No, no. Uh, thanks for coming.