July 23, 2007 Transcript
"I Agreed to Distract Jerry, Not Rip His Clothes Off"

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Alexis: Oh --

Carly: Hey.

Alexis: What are you doing here?

Carly: "What am I doing here?" Have you forget about our plan -- you distract Jerry, I get his P.D.A., we save Jax?

Alexis: That was the plan at the hotel, not here.

Carly: We wouldn't be here if you didn't screw everything up and invite him to dinner.

Alexis: I screwed everything up and invited him to dinner so he didn't see you hiding behind the couch. So I saved your life, now get out!

Carly: You want to be alone with him.

Alexis: I do not want to be --

Carly: You have a thing for him!

Alexis: I do "not" have a --

Carly: I don't care, but the point is we save Jax.

Alexis: Fine.

Carly: We know he's been getting updates about Jax on his P.D.A.

Alexis: Good, great. Just stay focused.

Carly: Yeah, focus, focus. Dinner -- what are you having for dinner?

Alexis: Animal crackers, fish sticks, and popcorn.

Carly: Are you serious?

Alexis: What, who doesn't like fish sticks?

Carly: You don't think he's going to be suspicious?

Alexis: Fine -- then I will order from the Metro Court.

Carly: I cannot believe how badly you have messed this whole thing up. Just serve the wine first, maybe he won't even make it to dinner, okay?

Alexis: What is that supposed to mean?

Carly: You get the guy plastered, then he only wants you -- that may take a while. But I can easily get his P.D.A. once "you" get his clothes off.

Alexis: I agreed to distract Jerry, not rip his clothes off.

Carly: You ask him for a drink, you go back to his place, then you invite him to yours. What's he supposed to think?

Alexis: Anything but that.

Carly: Why don't you just admit that you've yet again fallen in love with another psychopath?

Alexis: I am not in love with him -- how many times are you going to say that?

Carly: But you want him.

Alexis: He is the surest way to get Jax back -- that's it. I don't want him any more than you want him.

Carly: It might help if you keep thinking about him like Mr. Brosnan, like you don't know all the horrible things he's done. Keep your mind on Jax and you get him home.

Alexis: I'll try, okay?

Carly: Don't try -- do it. Get the man's clothes off and get my husband back.

Alexis: You know what? You're right. Jax is your husband -- let's switch positions.

Carly: Oh, so you can get all jealous and come running out and ruin the whole thing?

Alexis: I am not in love with him, and you keep saying --

[Knock on door]

Jerry: Good evening.

Alexis: Hi.

Jerry: For you.

Alexis: Oh.

Jerry: These seemed appropriate.

Alexis: Wildflowers.

Jerry: Yes, in honor of the day we met -- do you remember?

Alexis: I'll try not to faint.

Jerry: Ah. Alone at last.

Jerry: Oh. Let me help you with this. Here, can I take the vase?

Alexis: Thank you very much. Maybe if you could just put it right over there.

Jerry: On the table?

Alexis: Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you.

Jerry: Yeah.

Alexis: I'm really sorry; I'm perilously low on adult food tonight. I'm afraid all we have are fish sticks, animal crackers, and popcorn.

Jerry: Oh, God. I have a dreadful feeling you're not kidding -- are you?

Alexis: No.

Jerry: Oh.

Alexis: But I could order from the Metro Court.

Jerry: No, no, no, it's all right. You know, I don't mind being spontaneous once in a while.

Alexis: Okay.

Jerry: Oh --

Alexis: No, I -- I got it, I got it.

Jerry: Here, allow me.

Alexis: Really. No, I -- I'm -- I'm good at this. I do it all the time.

Jerry: So what's the plan? You planning to get me drunk so I can tell you where my brother is?

[Alexis laughs]

Alexis: That's ridiculous.

Jerry: Okay, give -- give it to me because it's too painful to watch. Come on, give it.

Alexis: Thank you.

Jerry: Thank you. Okay. There we go. So, where is Kristina? I'd love to see her.

Alexis: Uh, she's star-gazing, I mean, at a -- at a pizza party at the museum, yeah.

Jerry: A pizza party at the museum. That's very interesting.

Alexis: Yeah.

Jerry: So we are really alone.

Alexis: We are. Well, we -- really alone. Here you go. Thank you.

Jerry: All right. And here you go. Oh. For you.

Alexis: Thank you. Huh.

Jerry: To us, then.

Alexis: Oh.

Jerry: Bottoms up. Oh!

Alexis: I --

Jerry: That was telegraphed really badly, Alexis. It was way too obvious. Do you think I know what's going on here?

Alexis: I am so sorry. I didn't mean to do that at all. I'm a little nervous.

Jerry: It's okay, it's okay, it's all right. You're just concerned about being alone with me. I understand.

Alexis: No, no. I mean -- well, yeah, I -- a little bit.

Jerry: But you invited me here. I mean, do you remember? In my room, you asked me for a drink?

Alexis: I did. Well, it's true. Oh, well -- hmm.

Jerry: Must be terrible, you know. It must be terrible to reconcile the fact that you have so much anger for what I've done, and your desperate attraction to me --

Alexis: Huh? Oh. No. I -- I -- it's a little disconcerting to be having a drink with a man who --

Jerry: Mm-hmm?

Alexis: Drink up!

[Jerry chuckles]

Jerry: Let's not over-think this, shall we?

Alexis: Okay.

Jerry: All right, darling?

Alexis: Huh? What? Fine. Uh -- food -- let's order the food.

Jerry: No, no, no, no, it's fine. You know, I adore animal crackers. I love biting off their little heads. Don't you?

[Knock on door]

Ric: What the hell's going on here?

Alexis: You cannot just walk into my house like that.

Ric: You said you wanted to talk about Molly's two-week summer visit, okay? Did you forget?

Alexis: I repeat -- you cannot just come over here without calling first.

Ric: Okay, fine. There's nothing to discuss anyway. I'm not letting my daughter anywhere near this psycho.

Jerry: Oh, please, don't use me against Alexis.

Ric: Excuse me, I didn't ask for your input, so don't threaten me.

Jerry: Consider it good advice.

Alexis: You need to leave now.

Ric: Alexis, come here. What are you thinking, huh? This guy's a monster, and you know it. He poisoned Nikolas, he -- he nearly killed the father of one of your children, and he blows up your best friend's hotel? Does this sound like rational thinking to you? Why are you hanging out with this man?

Ric: Fine. You're free to associate with whoever you want. But my daughter's not coming here as long as this guy's hanging around.

Alexis: This is Molly's home.

Ric: No, Molly's home is with me, Alexis.

Alexis: Molly's home is with her mother and her sister.

Ric: You know what? Call my lawyer, okay?

Jerry: Huh. Wow. Brava. Brava. Oh, bravi, should I say? Come on out, Carly. Come on out. I really appreciate your passionate defense.

Alexis: It's the principle?

Jerry: And it warms my heart, it does. I mean, especially coming from you, Alexis, when this entire invitation was only a pretext to prevent me from discovering Carly in my hotel room, wasn't it?

Carly: You knew about it the whole time?

Jerry: Of course I did.

[Jerry chuckles]

Jerry: But how could I refuse red wine and animal crackers? What was the plan? To steal my P.D.A.? Get me drunk so I could tell you where my brother was? Hmm? The possibilities e endless. Aren't they? Here we are, all three of us, alone. Hmm.

Carly: I want you to bring Jax home.

Jerry: I don't think it's time for Jax to come home right now. So I'm not going to tell you where he is. Another time, perhaps, we could have done it.

[Door opens and closes]