July 12, 2007 Transcript
"No More Nut Jobs"

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Jerry: Oh, I'm -- I'm so sorry. I mean, I -- really, we didn't know you were here.

Alexis: Obviously.

Jerry: Well, why -- why don't we go inside and grab you a towel, and I'll buy you a cup of tea while you dry off, ok?

Alexis: I wouldn't want to interrupt.

Carly: Please do. You're the one who buys the Jerry-is-reformed "bad boy" act, not me.

[Music plays]

Alexis: The two of you should not be let out alone without a babysitter. Where's Jax? God, I wish he were here.

Carly: He's not, thanks to Jerry, who sent him out of town to protect him -- even though I'm not too clear what you're protecting him from.

Jerry: The discord between his wife and brother, to start with.

Carly: I see no reason not to hate you, ever. So you know what? You can relax, he's all yours.

Alexis: Lucky me.

[Door closes]

Jerry: Hey, why do you insist on tormenting that poor woman?

[Music plays]

[Knock on door]

Sam: Oh.

Alexis: That's right, I'm drenched. Do you have anything that I could put on?

Sam: Yeah. Why are you wet?

Alexis: Ask Carly.

Sam: Carly? Carly did this to you?

Alexis: And Jerry helped.

Sam: Wait -- what?

Alexis: I was going to Kelly's, and they sprayed me with a garden hose. At least Jerry had the decency to say he was sorry.

Sam: Really? So Carly did this to you deliberately?

Alexis: I don't know. Who knows? All I know is she's reinterpreted the whole thing by now. Apparently, everything that just happened to me is a direct result of my infatuation with Jerry Jacks.

Sam: Ahem. Well, I certainly hope Carly's delusional and you are not infatuated with Jerry Jacks.

Sam: You feeling better?

Alexis: Thank God you had one medium in your closet. It must be the only one you have.

Sam: I'm glad I could help.

Alexis: Thank you, it did. I have papers to deliver to a client. I didn't want to have to do it soaked.

Sam: Or sick. I just hope that Carly's little stunt didn't send you into some sort of a relapse or anything.

Alexis: I'm not 100% yet, but I'm much better. Honestly, never felt better.

Sam: That's good. I mean, that's really good news. I just hope you -- you don't mean, like, feel better like you think you're good enough to get into a relationship with Jerry Jacks, that kind of better.

Alexis: Oh, trust me. I tolerate him, that's all, because he's Jax's brother. That's it, end of story.

Sam: Good.

[Alexis sighs]

Sam: I mean, that's good news, because, you know, he may seem kind and -- and caring, but that man is really ruthless. Trust me on this, a man like that could hurt you in ways that you can't even imagine.

Alexis: Jerry is a sociopath. You should know -- he held you and Nikolas and 13 other people hostage over a briefcase. And even with my weakness for the deranged, I would find it difficult to be attracted to a man like Jerry.

Sam: Well, I would hope so. But -- I don't know -- you have been spending a lot of time with him.

Alexis: I'm his attorney, I have to. I don't have a personal interest in him. I did have a personal interest in him when I thought he was this charming business associate of Nikolas', but now that I know he's a sociopath, I don't.

Sam: Ok. I don't want to go dredging up the past, but you did think that Ric was a charming, great, super guy at one time, too.

Alexis: Look how that turned out.

Sam: Exactly. And all I'm asking is for you to think long and hard before opening up your heart to a man like that who doesn't deserve it.

Alexis: I will -- I have thought long and hard about it. No more nut jobs -- which is why I'll have nothing to do with Jerry. Nothing at all.

Alexis: Viola, hi. Yeah. I'm sorry, I -- I should be home. I'm late because I got into a little bit of an accident. I had to stop at Sam's -- no, no, no, nothing -- nothing serious. I just -- never mind. Is Kristina asleep? Oh, ok. Well, then tell her that I'll be home in just a little bit to kiss her good night, ok? All right -- yeah, yeah, yeah, everything's fine. Bye-bye. Ok.

[Engine cranks]

Alexis: Come on, don't do this to me now. Come on. One, two --

[Engine cranks]

Alexis: Not now.

[Engine cranks]

Alexis: Not now, not now! Ooh! Damn it.

[Footsteps]

Alexis: Whew.

[Knock on car]

Alexis: Oh! God, must you lurk?

Jerry: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I -- is there a problem?

Alexis: My car won't start.

Jerry: Ok, well, let me see if I can be of a little assistance. Pop the hood, will you?

[Hood pops]

Jerry: All right, try it now.

[Car starts]

[Engine revs]

[Car idles]

Alexis: How did you do that?

Jerry: Any decent criminal with an ounce of self-respect knows how to hot-wire a car.

Alexis: Charming.

Jerry: Well, you see, my dad used to fix old cars and -- first, by necessity, then as a hobby -- and Jax and I used to watch him and help him from time to time, and I guess it stuck.

Alexis: Well, thanks, I -- I appreciate your help -- unless, of course, you've set this all up?

Jerry: Oh, come on. I mean, I'm saddened by the fact that you suspect me, but I have to admit that I admire your pragmatism. But the answer is no. Actually, the culprit is a corroded car battery.

Alexis: Thanks.

Jerry: Well, drive safely home, and I'll call you tomorrow. After all, I do owe you a night out on the town.