April 27, 2007 Transcript
"If You Had Bailed On Him, I Would've Come After You With a Pitchfork"

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[Classical music plays]

Alexis: Where have you been? Never mind. Thank God you're here, because if you had bailed on him, I would've come after you with a pitchfork.

Carly: I'm here.

Jason: Let's just get this over with.

[Alexis sighs]

["Wedding March" plays]

Carly: Here we go.

Edward: Here we go.

Mike: No, it's okay, it's okay.

Alexis: I'm sorry.

Jax: It's nothing to worry about. It's fine.

Jason: Okay, just -- just count to 10, okay? You can get through this.

Carly: Remember when I said that I could do this without you? I lied. If you weren't here, I'd run out of here right now.

Jason: What do you -- what do you want to do?

Carly: I want to marry Jax.

[Carly sighs]

Rev. Wilson: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and this congregation to join this man and this woman together in holy matrimony, which is an honorable estate, not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, and with consideration for the cause with which marriage was ordained, to be a place where two people can grow and thrive, to help each other through adversity, and to create a home where children can be brought up and nurtured. If any person here can show just cause why these two should not be joined together, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace. Is there a problem?

Carly: No. There's no problem at all.

Jax: Let's just get on with it.

Rev. Wilson: All right.

Rev. Wilson: Do you, Jasper Jacks, take this woman to be your wedded wife, to love, honor, and cherish, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others?

Jax: I do.

Rev. Wilson: Do you, Caroline Leigh Corinthos, take this man to be your wedded husband, to love, honor, and cherish, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others?

Carly: I do.

Jax: You have been such a surprise to me, and such a gift, like a door that opened unexpectedly. It wasn't love at first sight, but our love grew. And you showed me strength, courage, loyalty. You live on your own terms, and that inspired me, and for that, I'm truly grateful. You're a -- you're a wonderful mother with two great sons, and I'm so proud to be a part of their lives. I will promise you right here, in front of God and all these people, that I will stand by you no matter what comes at us. And I will love you with all the love that I have.

Carly: There's a scripture I heard when I was a little girl. "Love is patient and love is kind and envies no one. Love is never selfish and never takes offense." And those words never connected with me until I fell in love with you, because you are all of those things. You are patient and you are kind and you are generous and you are selfless. You understand me, and you challenge me to be the best person I can be. I feel safe with you, and free to make mistakes without criticism and judgment. I am so happy that I get to share my life, my children, and my future with you. And I know with you and I together, anything's possible.

Jax: Take and wear this ring as a symbol of my commitment and love.

Carly: Take and wear this ring as a symbol of my commitment and love.

Rev. Wilson: Send your blessings upon this man and this woman, and may they forever remain in perfect love and peace together. And now by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife.

[Wedding music plays]

Alexis: It's time to announce the bride and groom.

Jason: Okay.

Alexis: Okay, so you're the best man, so you need to do that.

Jason: Well, technically, aren't you the best -- aren't you the best man/woman?

Alexis: I don't really want to do it, so could you just do it for me, please?

Jason: Can't they just walk in, then everybody says whatever?

Alexis: You are such a baby.

[Alexis sighs]

Alexis: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Jasper Jacks.

Alexis: And now the newlyweds will share their first dance as husband and wife.

[Music plays]

Sam: Thank you. I know that couldn't have been easy for you.

Alexis: Don't ask. How's the show?

Sam: Great. I mean, it's actually really amazing. It's been a really long time since I've been good at something, and they actually think I'm really good at this. I can't remember since I've been good at something since I was diving for shipwrecks.

Alexis: Did you sign a contract?

Sam: Yeah. Yeah, of course. I mean, the show airs next week.

Alexis: You need to make sure somebody looks at that, make sure that they check all the clauses, all the fine print. I don't mean to get on you about it, but it's important.

Sam: Oh, no, of course not. I know. I mean, I feel like an idiot. My mother's a lawyer, I didn't have you look at the contract -- that's so stupid.

Alexis: Well, you're stubborn and independent -- it's genetic.

Sam: Well, I'm sorry if I haven't said it yet, but you look amazing, and I hope you feel as marvelous as you look.

Alexis: I had my last round of chemo, and I am not going to lie to you, I'm very grateful. And you know what? I'm starting to get my appetite back, I've got some color in my cheeks --

Sam: You do.

Alexis: A little bit of energy.

Sam: Well, I think you need to use this energy, this positive thing you've got going, and put it in something good -- not them over there.

[Sam chuckles]

Jax: Who are all these people? Don't they know that I want to be alone with my wife undressing me?

Carly: What people?

[Jax and Carly chuckle]

[Phone rings]

Carly: You're kidding me.

Jax: I'm sorry, I --

Carly: No, it's bad etiquette for a groom to have his phone turned on at his own wedding. What is this?

Jax: I just left it on because it might be Jerry.

[Ring]

Jax: This is Jax.

Jerry: Hey, brother. Did I catch you at a bad time?

Jax: Hold on a second. It's Jerry. Will you let me take this? I'm sorry. I'll be right back, I promise. Okay? Hey, jerry. I can hardly hear you. Let me find a quieter spot.

Jax: Jerry, can you hear me? Where are you?

Jerry: Um, never mind me. How'd the wedding go?

Jax: It was good, it was really good. I -- I still wish you were here.

Jerry: Well, I want you to know I'm -- I'm really happy for you.

Jax: Thanks. I apprec -- wait a minute. What -- what the hell? Where are you?

Jerry: Um, I have to go.

Jax: No, no, no, hold on a second. I -- I can hear the same music through your phone. If you're trying to surprise me, brother, then you're doing a good job. Now, show yourself.