April 2, 2007 Transcript
"I'm Not Escorting You. I'm Escorting Kristina"

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Kristina: Mommy, wake up. Mommy, please? Mommy?

James: Whoa.

Kristina: My mommy needs help.

James: Well, tell me what's wrong.

Kristina: She won't wake up.

James: Show me, show me where she is.


James: Here we go. It's going to be all right.

There. See? She's fine.

Alexis: Hmm.

James: Hello.

Alexis: Kristina? You.

James: We meet again.

Alexis: What happened?

James: Well, apparently, you passed out, and judging from that lovely shade of gray you're taking on, we should get you back to the house.

Alexis: I'm -- I'm perfectly capa-- capable of getting up under my own steam.

James: Really? Are you always so resistant to people who are trying to help you?

Alexis: Yes, thank you. Honey, I'm all right. I'm just a little tired, that's all.

James: No, no, that's not true, actually. Your mother is tired because she's taking really strong medicine, she's pushing herself too hard, and she's not resting enough. Come on.

Alexis: It would probably be best if you didn't try to contradict me in front of my own child.

James: Well, you see, Kristina's a bright young thing, and there's no point in lying to her when she can see as well as I can that you're about to pass out again. Kristina, should I assist your mother? Yes? Your choice.

Alexis: Fine.

James: Okay.

Alexis: I can lean on you, but there's no need for you to carry me like I'm --

James: Yes, like a damsel in distress -- the image somehow doesn't suit you. Come on; let's get back to that house. Come on, Kristina. You all right? Let's go. Okay, slowly.



Alexis: I told you I was fine, but apparently when anyone talks to you, they just hear the sound of their own voice.

Robin: Are you okay?

Alexis: Yes.

James: Yes, I found her unconscious in the woods.

Alexis: I'm -- I overdid it just a smidge. I'm really fine. Actually, Mr. Brosnan was -- was quite helpful, even though I hate to admit that.

James: Well, you're a stubborn woman. I mean, it's clear that my effort to assist wasn't enough. Look at you -- you're shaking.

Alexis: I am not, I'm fine.

James: No, you're not. Would you like some advice?

Alexis: Would it matter if I said no?

James: I think you should stay here for the night.

Nikolas: No, no, I don't think that's a good idea. She would be far more comfortable in her own home.

Alexis: Actually, here's another painful admission -- whenever I resist something, it means I probably need it. So I'm going to take you up on that offer, and Kristina and I would be very happy to stay here.

Nikolas: No, no, that's -- that's not possible.

Alexis: You're kidding, right?

Nikolas: Alexis, if you're too sick to go home, then -- then you need to go to the hospital.

Kristina: No!

Robin: Um --

Alexis: It's all right.

Robin: Honey, how about -- maybe your mommy needs a snack.

Alexis: Yeah.

Robin: You want to go with me to the kitchen, we'll find her something to eat?

Alexis: Go ahead, sweetie. I'm not going to the hospital, everything is fine, okay? What is the matter with you? You know that anytime you mention the word "hospital," it terrorizes her. She's afraid that I'm going to disappear into a vapor every time I go in there -- she can't see me -- and when I come out I'm sicker than I was before. Nothing scares her more than the thought of me going back in the hospital.

Nikolas: Then why do you keep doing one reckless thing after another to get yourself put back in?


Nikolas: Look, I'm sorry, Alexis. I -- I don't mean to snap at you. I love you. You're the only family I have other than Spencer, which is why I want you healthy and cancer-free. But you seem to still be in a bit of denial about how sick you actually are, and it does more harm than good, not just to you. You have other people to consider -- your daughter.

Alexis: My, I must be a terrible, terrible mother to want to spend some quality time with my daughter, who happens to be very confused and very upset, especially now that her sister has been taken away from her. So I'd rather just take a detour into your scary wilderness -- which also happens to be your backyard -- to pick some wildflowers, hoping to get her to smile. So now you're saying not only am I a bad mother, but I'm also an intruder in your house.

Nikolas: No, that's not true.

Alexis: Well, yes, it is. That's exactly what you've been saying, Nikolas. I mean, how deplorably selfish of me to want to spend the night in one of your 500 gazillion guestrooms that you can now put better use to with your new girlfriend?

James: Well, you see, you're getting upset and it's counterproductive. Why don't I bring you home?

Nikolas: No, no, I don't think that's wise. I'll have Alfred do it.

James: No, no, no, it's prudent. I can ride with Alexis on the launch, take her home, and take a cab back, right?

Alexis: I don't want Alfred to take me home. I don't want to put you out at all. It's fine. I accept your very kind offer, no matter how pushy you are.

[Alexis sighs]

Alexis: Hey -- did you bring me an apple? You're a sweet girl. We're going to go home, huh? Mommy feels much better now, and Nikolas seems to need his privacy.

James: Come, let's go.

Nikolas: Alex'

James: Oh, and, uh, don't you two lovebirds wait up for me.


Alexis: Well, thank you very much. I -- I'm feeling much better now, and we can make it to the launch, and after that I'll call Raul.

James: Raul?

Alexis: My cab driver.

James: Oh. You have a cab driver?

Alexis: Yes, I have a cab driver. He's very reliable, and I think he's developing a crush on me, so goes your theory about the damsel in distress that you think I'm so unsuited for. In any case, I -- I won't be needing your assistance as an escort any longer.

James: Well, I'm not escorting you. I'm escorting Kristina, isn't that right? You're just coming along for the ride, really.

[James chuckles]

Alexis: You're as stubborn as you accuse me of being.

James: But, believe it or not, I've been called worse. Now, come along and be a good girl. Come on, let's go. Whoop --