January 4, 2005 Transcript
"The Sex is Good"

Ric: What are you doing?

Alexis: You're going to make me lose my place.

Ric: Mm-hmm.

Alexis: Mm-hmm.

Ric: Would that be such a bad thing?

Alexis: Mm-hmm, because I have appointments to keep, and I have to prepare for them.

Ric: All right. Well, I realize how dedicated you are to your clients, so I spoke with your secretary and had her clear the next two weeks off your calendar.

Alexis: For what?

Ric: Well, I just thought you might like to join me -- on our honeymoon.

Alexis: We can't go on a honeymoon.

Ric: Why not?

Alexis: Because honeymoons are for people who have weddings. We got married in our jeans in the hospital, and I think our vows went something like, "I'm not sure this is going to work, good luck."

Ric: Ok, ok. Yeah, look, I realize that our marriage started out with that practical element, but I think that we've, you know, explored other parameters since then.

Alexis: And it's calmed me down, I think, don't you?

Ric: Remarkably.

Alexis: The sex is good.

Ric: Hmm.

Alexis: Thanks.

Ric: All right, listen, will you do me one favor?

Alexis: Sure.

Ric: Please just try to imagine, if you would, being on our honeymoon -- or, sabbatical, extended vacation, whatever you want to call it -- and the two of us are just lounging in the resort and exploring all those wonderful little things that you like so very much. Hmm? Hmm?

Alexis: Ok.

Ric: What do you think? This might be a good idea?

Alexis: Mm-hmm.

Ric: Come on.

Alexis: Ok, I'll go.

Ric: Yeah.

Alexis: Two weeks -- two weeks is enough, you think?

Ric: Yeah, absolutely.

Alexis: All right. My daughter, remember? Kristina?

Ric: Oh, come on. Yeah, I arranged for us to have a room right next door, with Viola at the ready. She'll be on the bunny slopes with Kristina, and then we're going to be, you know, going back to the room, enjoying each other --

Alexis: Did you say "slopes"?

Ric: Yeah. You know, they're mountains with snow on them in Aspen. It's a whole ski trip that I put together.

Alexis: Please don't take this the wrong way, but I would rather stay home and regrout the bathroom tile.

Alexis: Falling down in the snow has never quite appealed to me.

Ric: You won't know until you try.

Alexis: Oh, I don't want to.

Ric: Alexis, you can have ski lessons.

Alexis: I don't want to.

Ric: Alexis, please, just humor me, ok? This is our honeymoon.

Alexis: How about a honeymoon on a nice, hot beach with sunscreen and pina coladas? Please don't subject me to frostbite and falling down a mountain with six-foot planks attached to my feet.

Ric: Look, that's only a small part of the activities on the mountain.

Alexis: I'm full aware that there are plenty of activities on the mountain. You can go to the E.R. and then you can go get fit for a cast and --

Ric: Yeah, but -- I know that's one way to look at it. See, I was looking at it more in terms of soaking in a hot tub privately, overlooking the snow-covered mountain.

Alexis: Oh. Well --

Ric: Yeah. Yeah, see there's a private sauna --

Alexis: Hmm.

Ric: Indoors overlooking the Rockies. Hmm?

Alexis: That doesn't sound so bad.

Ric: Look, look, look, look, look at this. All kinds of things. See?

Alexis: Oh -- oh.

Ric: It's a private spa --

Alexis: Mm-hmm.

Ric: Private steam --

Alexis: Ooh.

Ric: 32 different types of massage.

Alexis: Oh.

Ric: You like that, right?

Alexis: I do.

Ric: There's shops.

Alexis: Yeah.

Ric: There's plenty of things to do -- nightclubs, all kinds of activity. Don't you want to just go up there and take a look at it, see what you think for yourself? Hmm? Please?

Alexis: Do I have to take one of those chairs that's hanging by a wire?

Ric: Yeah, a chairlift. Yes, you do. I'll hold your hand the whole time.

Carly: Hi.

Alexis: Hello.

Carly: I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Thanks.

Alexis: Shopping therapy?

Carly: Yeah -- well, not really, actually. Sonny's taking the boys to the island. They needed a lot of things.

Alexis: Carly --

Carly: Yeah?

Alexis: Nothing. Good luck.

Carly: Alexis, was there something you wanted to say to me?

Alexis: Does it ever bother you?

Carly: What? What?

Alexis: That Sonny's taking your children on vacation? Do you ever worry that you'll never see them again?

Carly: No, I never worry that Sonny is going to steal our children.

Alexis: Unless he disapproves of what you're doing or with whom you're doing it.

Carly: Alexis, do you remember what prompted you to tell me that Sonny was Kristina’s father in the first place?

Alexis: We thought we were going to die.

Carly: And in the face of death, I was comforted by the knowledge that my children would be taken care of by a devoted father and you didn't feel the same way about Ned or the Quartermaines. And you regretted not telling Sonny that he was Kristina’s father.

Alexis: It was a desperate moment and I forgot in that moment that where Sonny goes, bullets fly and cars explode.

Carly: Ok, now we're talking about security. I thought you were concerned with whether or not he would take your child.

Alexis: Everyone in Sonny's life is exposed to danger and maybe you can live with that. I can’t.

Carly: Well, Alexis, maybe you should've considered that before you got pregnant with Sonny's child. Look, there's danger everywhere and wringing your hands about it doesn't help anybody.

Alexis: You're right. I shouldn't have brought it up.

Carly: Look, we all have fears, Alexis, and what matters is how we deal with them. Instead of spending all your time turning Sonny into the bogeyman, maybe you should take a look at your own behavior.

Alexis: Hey, Viola.

Viola: Hi.

Alexis: Is she sleeping?

Viola: She should be up in about an hour.

Alexis: Ok. Listen, why don't you go relax, then, and find something to do.

Viola: Thanks. I can use it.

Alexis: Good.

Viola: Ok.

Alexis: Thanks. What are these?

Viola: They came by messenger. They're all addressed to Kristina.

Alexis: Oh. Hmm.

Alexis: Oh, my God. He did it.

Ric: Hey.

Alexis: Don't move.

Ric: What? What, what? Oh -- ooh. Ok, am I being propositioned or thanked?

Alexis: Thanked --

Ric: Really?

Alexis: For now. Thank you --

Ric: You're --

Alexis: For changing the destination to the beach. Thank you.

Ric: I -- oh, but I -- I didn't do that.

Alexis: She's going to love it. She's going to love this. You have really good taste!

Ric: Well --

Alexis: This is cute. You picked this out?

Ric: No. You know what? I think there might be a little bit of a mistake here. I did buy Kristina clothing, but it was for the -- it was for the ski trip, not the beach.

Alexis: All right, all right, you don't have to do that.

Ric: Alexis, I'm serious.

Alexis: I ran into Carly, and she said that Sonny was taking Michael and Morgan on vacation to that godforsaken island. He wants to take Kristina!

Sonny: You see, in my line of work -- what, you know, looks like a vacation sometimes turns out to be a business trip, and it's always a good thing to have your attorney present at all times.

Jordan: Ok. Well, I'm not going to bill you for the time that you wasted trying to convince me to go away with you. But in spite of that, it's been a pleasure, as always.

Sonny: Yeah. You know what? Give me -- in two minutes, you'll see what I'm talking about.

Jordan: Yeah, about you thinking that you need an attorney on call, I appreciate your --

[Knock on door]

Sonny: Ha! What'd I tell you? Right under the wire.

Alexis: You can send baby toys and baby clothes every day for the next year, but you are not taking my daughter on vacation.

Alexis: May I suggest to you how people act in a civilized society? Usually when they make a request of another person -- say, taking her daughter on a vacation --

Sonny: She's my daughter, too.

Alexis: And I'm the custodial parent -- why wouldn't you even think to ask me if you could take her on vacation before sending her all those clothes?

Sonny: Because I wanted to surprise you.

Ric: Well, Sonny, from a legal standpoint, it could be misconstrued as being antagonistic.

Jordan: There's nothing in the custody ruling that says that Sonny can't buy his daughter clothing. But if you think that you can prove --

Sonny: Ok, wait, wait, wait. Do you want me to ask, I'll ask. May I -- may I take Kristina to the island?

Alexis: Thank you. No. You ready to go?

Sonny: See?

Jordan: There's also nothing in the custody agreement that says that Sonny can't take his daughter on vacation.

Ric: Well, considering that his island is outside of the United States, Ms. Baines, I think that makes the contract null and void.

Jordan: Well, there is a clause that makes a stipulation for foreign travel.

Ric: Oh --

Alexis: Who do you think you're talking to? Do you think that we don't know how to read a contract? You can take your stipulations and you can --

Ric: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Alexis -- shh.

Alexis: You are not taking my daughter to a gambling casino to use as a playground.

Sonny: She'd be on the beach. She'll be collecting shells, not chips.

Alexis: No, she won’t.

Sonny: Because you say so?

Alexis: Because my daughter has other obligations that prohibit her from going.

Sonny: Bah.