June 7, 2004 Transcript
"Watch and Learn"

At The Cellar

Courtney: If you really did write that anonymous check, Jax, all you have to do is show me the paperwork.

Jax: Who wants to deal with paperwork tonight? Come on, we're having a party.

Courtney: No, why don't you call your assistant and have her bring over a printout of the transaction.

Jax: Do you really think that's necessary?

Ric: Yeah, I'm afraid it might be.

Edward: Who asked you?

Ric: You know, if you can't prove that you wrote that check, I'm going to have to assume that the funds came from Jason. In which case I'm going to have to freeze the foundation's funds pending an investigation into money laundering.

Courtney: That could hold us up for months.

Alexis: My suggestion is you just make a call and you straighten it out, and that way we can prove the D.A. is wrong once again.

Jax: Well, why don't we go over the records all tomorrow morning over coffee at Kelly’s?

Ric: Is it going to take you that long to cook the books? I'd like to see that printout tonight, if you don't mind.

Alexis: What are you going to do? You going to have Mac take him away in shackles?

Tracy: Commissioner, if he goes, she goes, right?

Mac: Can you prove the money came from Jason?

Alexis: That shouldn't be a problem since Sam McCall is an admitted con artist, prostitute, and thief. Why would she lie about a man who dumped her? That check could've been written by anyone. The money could've been donated anywhere. And even if the check is questionable, Courtney believed that it was from Jax, so she didn't do anything wrong.

Courtney: Jason makes anonymous donations to charities all the time.

Tracy: Oh, well, that must be to save himself the monumental effort of remembering his own name.

Monica: Why can't someone punch you?

Courtney: Look, if Jason did write the check, I will return it immediately.

Alexis: That sounds like an equitable solution. Sorry to disappoint you, but no laws have been broken here.

Ric: As long as the money's returned to Jason.

Courtney: Oh, I see -- Jason’s money isn't good enough to help kids. Yeah, understandable, since all of you are honest, upright, blameless citizens. Look, I don't want there to be any concern about where the foundation gets its money, so I will return the check tonight. Enjoy yourselves. It's for a good cause.

Tracy: Well. Didn't I warn you she was too simple for your taste? Fortunately, I'm in a forgiving mood.

Alexis approaches Jax at the bar.

[Music plays]

Alexis: How's my favorite ex?

Jax: I've had better evenings.

Alexis: He didn't break anything, did he?

She is rubbing his back. Ric is watching them.

Jax: No, I don't think so. He certainly livened up the party, though, didn't he?

Alexis: About that check -- did you take credit for something that he did?

Jax: It's a long story.

Alexis: I want to hear about it.

Jax: Well, now isn't the time, ok? (He kisses her on the cheek) Thanks for your concern.

Jax leaves and Ric approaches Alexis.

Ric: So much for keeping your client in line.

Alexis: Will you back off?

Ric: You know, you'll feel much better after we dance.

Alexis: You just cost the foundation a million dollars and you embarrassed my best friend.

Ric: Does that mean you don't want to dance?

Alexis: I would rather stick needles in my eyes.

Ric: It must be annoying, you know, wanting something and wishing that you didn’t.

Alexis: There is no way that I will ever dance with you again.

Ric: Oh, you want to go straight to the serious kiss?

Alexis: That will never happen again because you took advantage of me because I had too much to drink.

Ric: Technically, you did take advantage of me.

Alexis: Did you learn that line at Harvard?

Ric: Very good. Well, try this one -- did you learn it at Yale? -- "I could be your dream come true."

Alexis: Five minutes, that's all you get. Now leave me alone.

Ric: The night is young.

Alexis: Good. Then you have time to pick up someone else. (Walks away from Ric and bumps into Ned) Hi.

Ned: Hi.

Alexis: You enjoying the party?

Ned: Well, no one's been shot yet, so that's a plus.

Alexis: Good point. You know, Kristina is getting really big. You should make a point of coming to see her.

Ned: So what are you doing hiding from Ric Lansing?

Alexis: I'm not hiding from him.

Ned: And why is he staring at you?

Alexis: Because he's weird.

Ned: Oh. According to Alan, you chased him out of the courtroom. And now you're hanging out with him?

Alexis: I am not hanging out with him.

Ned: You've been chasing him around all night long, fighting one minute, imbibing the next. What, are you attracted to him?

Alexis: Will you keep your voice down? I barely even know him, and what I do know I find disgusting.

A waiter brings Ned a drink.

Ned: Thank you.

Waiter: Amazing tango the other night, Ms. Davis. You and Mr. Lansing were hot, if you don't mind me saying.

Alexis: Thanks.

Ned: Unbelievable. First Sonny, and now his little brother.

Alexis: Well, it is nothing like that.

Ned: Oh, come on. He's irresistible, dark, edgy, haunted by rumors of unsavory dealings.

Alexis: There is a perfectly good explanation --

Ned: And most importantly, he treats you badly -- that's key. Soon you'll be putty in his hands. You never learn.

Alexis is preparing to leave the club when Ric approaches her.

Ric: You drive here?

Alexis: No.

Ric: Want a ride?

Alexis: No.

Ric: Sure?

Alexis: Yes.

Ric: Well, how about a kiss good night for old time's sake?

Alexis: I'm not even sure the kiss happened.

Ric: Maybe it was a fantasy.

Alexis: Well, then it was your fantasy, not mine.

Ric: Mm-hmm. I think you're just afraid when I drive you home that you're going to want to kiss me good night.

Alexis: Not in this lifetime.

Ric: You won't be able to resist it.

Alexis: Are there actually women who find that level of conceit attractive?

Ric: Come on. Don't you want to prove me wrong?

She turns and goes up the stairs.

Alexis and Ric are outside the door of her apartment.

Alexis: Thanks for the ride.

Ric: Anytime.

Alexis: Not that I needed it -- I'm perfectly sober, and I have no interest in a good-night kiss.

Ric: Hmm.

Alexis: Counselor.

Ric: Has it occurred to you that you're protesting just the tiniest bit too much?

Alexis: Why wouldn't I protest? I find you reprehensible.

She unlocks her door.

Ric: You're afraid of me.

Alexis: Yes, I am.

Alexis is standing in her doorway.

Alexis: There's nothing that you do without an ulterior motive. Why wouldn't that concern me?

Ric: Yeah, nice deflection, and if we were in court, I'd applaud you, right after I registered an objection for avoiding the question. You're afraid of yourself. You're afraid that you're going to lose control -- that's why you won't kiss me.

Alexis: You think I'm trying to avoid being swept away by my passion for you?

Ric: Oh, no, I never said that. But you act like it's not even a possibility. I mean, do you remember the other night?

Alexis: When you took advantage of me after I had 11 glasses of wine?

Ric: Technically, you took advantage of me.

Alexis: I feel no passion for you.

Ric: Oh.

Alexis: I have no attraction for you. That kiss meant absolutely nothing to me. And since you have the emotional I.Q. of a Simian, I will be happy to demonstrate. Watch and learn. (They kiss!)