June 1, 2004 Transcript
"I would pass on everything except one night"

[Door slams]

Ric: That's it. Oh, pardon me. Thank you very much. Ok.

Alexis: I never agreed to conversation. I'm here for the sole purpose of demonstrating that you hold no attraction for me whatsoever.

Ric: Understood.

Alexis: They must be trying to upgrade the place.

Ric: Are we making conversation?

Alexis: I was just pointing out the specials.

Ric: Oh. I see. Hmm -- "The grazing connoisseur -- 11 whisper-light mini-entrees served with an elegant sampling of complimentary wine."

Alexis: Not in this life.

Ric: I'm surprised you even noticed. But you're going to order mineral water, right? A small green salad with oil and vinegar on the side and fish of the day, lightly grilled.

Alexis: And your point would be?

Ric: Am I wrong? Come on, face it -- I'm an excellent judge of character; you're an easy read. Harvard Law was crawling with women exactly like you. You've all done very well in your power designer suits and your expensive but practical shoes, slaves to your day planners. You run to the gym whenever you possibly can and you never eat or drink too much.

Alexis: I'll have the grazing wino special, please. Which course is first, red or white?

Ric: You might want to cleanse your palate a little bit with some soda water.

Alexis: Don't be ridiculous. Where I come from, 11-year-olds drink wine instead of milk for dinner.

Ric: You know, I spent a summer in the Greek countryside -- it's extraordinary, right in between Harvard College and Harvard Law.

Alexis: Twice in one sentence -- that's impressive.

Ric: Am I supposed to understand what that means?

Alexis: You've mentioned Harvard three times since we've switched from white to red, which is a total of seven since we sat down at the table.

Ric: Really? Hadn't noticed.

Alexis: Dropping the name of one's Ivy League school is permissible at 25, immature at 35, and pathetic at 40.

Ric: Really? How old do you think I am?

Alexis: Old enough to know better.

Ric: Hmm.

Alexis: And old enough to know that you aren't the only person in Port Charles with an Ivy League degree.

Ric: That's right. You went to -- oh, Yale, right? Something like that?

Alexis: Summa cum laude, Yale undergrad, Yale Law, post juris doctorate at Oxford, and a few economic seminars at Wharton just for fun.

Ric: Unbelievable.

Alexis: That my degree is better than yours or that I don't throw it in everyone's face?

Ric: Neither.

Alexis: What?

Ric: Well, I just find it amazing that a woman of your education would be attracted to a thug who didn't even finish high school. So come on, Alexis -- what's the story between you and Sonny?

Ric: Why are you so defensive about Sonny?

Alexis: Why are you so obsessed with Sonny?

Ric: Look, sleeping with a client -- I didn't know that was a class maybe they offered at Yale.

Alexis: Oh, like you've never slept with a client.

Ric: Look, we've all had our unfortunate lapses in judgment. I just don't understand how a ruthless career criminal would ever bed down a scholarly prude.

Alexis: A what?

Ric: A scholarly prude.

Alexis: You think I'm a prude?

Ric: Don't take offense at it. I'm just making an observation.

Alexis: Just because I know how to dress and I don't expose my midriff and I know how to speak the King’s English?

Ric: Well, obviously, Sonny saw something that I'm missing.

Alexis: You just keep talking about him no matter what. Is that why you took me to dinner?

Ric: Look, I understand you were slumming, right?

Alexis: What, are you going to call him up on the phone and tell him that you have me out for dinner?

Ric: I'm not interested in my brother, Ms. Davis. I'm interested in you.

Alexis: He's going to laugh in your face -- if he ever laughed, which he doesn't, but he may smile. He has a nice smile.

Ric: Oh, is that what got you?

Alexis: No!

Ric: Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up Sonny. Obviously, I dredged up some sort of pain from a past love affair.

Alexis: Love affair? Me and Sonny and one one-night stand does not a love affair make. That was right, right? I mean, "and," conjunction, "one," indirect noun, "one night" --

Ric: All right, so, if it wasn't --

Alexis: Compound adjective --

Ric: A love affair, then what was it?

Alexis: What?

Ric: Between you and Sonny.

Alexis: I helped him with some legal work, all right? And I got him out of trouble on more than one occasion.

Ric: Well, I'm well aware of that.

Alexis: And he was very grateful for that, so he flirted with me.

Ric: And you fell for that?

Alexis: I went to bed with him one night! So what?

Ric: All right, but why Sonny? What was the attraction? Are you ok?

Alexis: I have asthma.

[Alexis exhales]

Alexis: It was his eyes, all right? They're dark -- and soulful. And dark.

Ric: Yeah, well, he has that going for him.

Alexis: You know how it is with him. I mean, you just don't know what's happening and even though you know it's going to turn out bad, you don't care because it's some sort of rush. It's like speeding down a highway in a limo in the dead of night without headlights and that kick of adrenaline that you could die at any moment.

Ric: You never struck me as somebody who was suicidal.

Alexis: Neither did I. I'm not. It was a lapse in judgment. Can you just drop it?

Ric: Ok. Well, if you could change one thing, would you -- would you ride in that limo again?

Alexis: I would pass on everything except one night.

Ric: The night that you went to bed with Sonny?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Music plays]

Alexis: Why is it that you men always think that a woman being in bed with one of you is the most memorable experience of their lives? Is it testosterone? Is it ego? Is it cluelessness?

Ric: All right. Then what was the most memorable time you ever had with Sonny?

Alexis: Puerto Rico. He took me to Puerto Rico and -- it -- it was transcendent. It was -- the world just fell away. I didn't think about anything, I didn't worry about anything. I didn't try to figure anything out. I just danced.

Ric: You never struck me as much of a dancer.

Alexis: You -- are so narstissic -- nartistic -- narcististic.

Ric: I'm so what?

Alexis: You're stuck on yourself. You can't see the obvious that's right in front of your face. So typical.

Ric: You know, why don't we -- why don't we dance right here?

Alexis: So you can prove to Sonny that you're a better dancer than he is?

Ric: You know, I've never seen Sonny dance, so I couldn't really tell you.

Alexis: I'm not going to be an event in your endless competition with him.

Ric: Oh, it's one dance!

Alexis: Uh-uh.

Ric: What is it? What is it? You're afraid?

Alexis: Nope.

Ric: Then I guess I must assume that you can't dance.

Alexis: Let's dance.

Ric: Ok, you're on.

Alexis: Maybe it's the wine.

Ric: What? Why do you say that?

Alexis: I think you actually dance better than your brother.

[Music plays]

Ric: Oh! Oh, there you go! Ah!

Alexis: Oh! Is that for us?

Ric: No, I think it's for you. You're quite the dancer.

Alexis: Yes, I know -- I mean, thank you. I think I need to go home.

Ric: Wait -- oh, wait a minute. You're really in no shape to drive yourself.

Alexis: I realize that. I'm going to -- I have -- I -- I can call someone.

Ric: Well, no. Let me take you home.

Alexis: No. The number's in my --

Ric: I'm sure it is --

Alexis: Whatever, in my purse.

Ric: But you're going to have to wait for it. I mean, really. I can take you home. It's no problem.

Alexis: Well, now, are you sure, really? Because, you know, I -- I need to know that there is not going to be a problem, if you know what I'm saying. No funny business.

Ric: Well, I'm not that funny. Ask anybody.

Alexis: You swear?

Ric: I swear.

Alexis: Ok.