May
23, 2002 Transcript "I'm
not giving up. I'm just breathing"
(Alexis
and Sonny are in her apartment)
Sonny:
If you're asking what happens next --
Alexis: I'm not. I'm asking you what happens now.
Sonny: OK. What do you want to know?
Alexis: The truth. Always the truth. The thing that worries
me the most at the moment , in light of things that have gone on,
is that there will be lies, no matter how well intentioned or polite,
between us.
Alexis:
There are things that are a little difficult to process right now,
and I want to avoid making assumptions and jumping to what may be
the wrong conclusion.
Sonny: (nods) I'll try to do the same.
Alexis: OK then. My version of where we are now is that it's
taken a long time and a lot of hard work to build our friendship.
Sonny: mmmhmmm
Alexis: And to establish a trust like that is a significant
and fragile thing. And denials and avoidance would muck it up completely.
Sonny: I don't want that.
Alexis:Neither do I. So I think that we should go about
this very carefully and try not to leave out anything important.
Sonny: Agreed.
Alexis: So, I'll start with a question. Are
you still in love with your ex-wife?
Sonny:
I never stopped loving Carly. You knew that. You've been saying
it since the divorce.
Alexis: Yes, I have.
Sonny: I care about you, and I don't want to lose, I mean,
our friendship because of what's happened.
Alexis: Neither do I. Having lost Carly -- or thinking that
you lost Carly -- it's understandable that it gave you cause to
re-evaluate, right?
Sonny:It put things in perspective.
Alexis: Exactly. I need to put things in perspective, this
in perspective. I need some perspective now that Carly's back. (Sonny
nods)
Alexis:OK, fact, fact --
Sonny: Right.
Alexis: Fact -- the fact is things are different. So we need
to act accordingly.
Sonny: Do we have to figure it out all --
Alexis: Yes, I do, I'm sorry. You know me. I'm in my head.
I think, I think for a living, I think for a hobby. I think while
I'm sleeping, I can't stop thinking. I like things to make sense.
And I -- I'm very logical. You know, I'm very left-brained, in fact,
I don't think I have a right brain at all. Whenever I try to go
with the flow -- and I have -- you know, I get massacred every time.
Sonny: So what are you thinking right now?
Alexis: I'm thinking that there are so many thoughts at the
same time that it's just too hard to pick just one.
Sonny: OK, so what do you want me to do?
Alexis:Let's just be honest with each other.
Sonny:Well, I'm trying to be honest. I'm trying, you know,
to respect what's between us and take you into consideration. Alexis: I guess there's just a bunch of "I don't knows."
Alexis: I'm feeling a little embarrassed because I'm used
to being in control of my feelings and I'm really not. But I will
be (pause) once the dust settles. What I do know is that
I care about you deeply and --
Sonny:Alexis, I respect you. I'll do whatever you want.
Alexis: Thank you.
Sonny: OK, just so I'm clear, you're still my lawyer?
Alexis: Yes.
Sonny: All right. Because, you know, if that's a problem
--
Alexis: No. Sonny:I can get somebody else. They're not going to be as good
as you are, nobody can be, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable.
Alexis: You're not, you don't. I mean, you won't.
Sonny: All right.
Alexis: I'm not giving up. I'm just breathing.
Go home (pause) and be with your wife. I'm fine.
Sonny:All right.
(Sonny leaves and stands in the hall outside her door, thinking
deeply)