May 23, 2002 Transcript
"I'm not giving up. I'm just breathing"

(Alexis and Sonny are in her apartment)

Sonny: If you're asking what happens next --

Alexis: I'm not. I'm asking you what happens now.

Sonny: OK. What do you want to know?

Alexis: The truth. Always the truth. The thing that worries me the most at the moment , in light of things that have gone on, is that there will be lies, no matter how well intentioned or polite, between us.


Alexis: There are things that are a little difficult to process right now, and I want to avoid making assumptions and jumping to what may be the wrong conclusion.

Sonny: (nods) I'll try to do the same.

Alexis: OK then. My version of where we are now is that it's taken a long time and a lot of hard work to build our friendship.

Sonny: mmmhmmm

Alexis: And to establish a trust like that is a significant and fragile thing. And denials and avoidance would muck it up completely.

Sonny: I don't want that.

Alexis: Neither do I. So I think that we should go about this very carefully and try not to leave out anything important.

Sonny: Agreed.

Alexis: So, I'll start with a question. Are you still in love with your ex-wife?


Sonny: I never stopped loving Carly. You knew that. You've been saying it since the divorce.

Alexis: Yes, I have.

Sonny: I care about you, and I don't want to lose, I mean, our friendship because of what's happened.

Alexis: Neither do I. Having lost Carly -- or thinking that you lost Carly -- it's understandable that it gave you cause to re-evaluate, right?

Sonny: It put things in perspective.

Alexis: Exactly. I need to put things in perspective, this in perspective. I need some perspective now that Carly's back. (Sonny nods)


Alexis: OK, fact, fact --

Sonny: Right.

Alexis: Fact -- the fact is things are different. So we need to act accordingly.

Sonny: Do we have to figure it out all --

Alexis: Yes, I do, I'm sorry. You know me. I'm in my head. I think, I think for a living, I think for a hobby. I think while I'm sleeping, I can't stop thinking. I like things to make sense. And I -- I'm very logical. You know, I'm very left-brained, in fact, I don't think I have a right brain at all. Whenever I try to go with the flow -- and I have -- you know, I get massacred every time.

Sonny: So what are you thinking right now?

Alexis: I'm thinking that there are so many thoughts at the same time that it's just too hard to pick just one.

Sonny: OK, so what do you want me to do?

Alexis: Let's just be honest with each other.

Sonny: Well, I'm trying to be honest. I'm trying, you know, to respect what's between us and take you into consideration.

Alexis:
I guess there's just a bunch of "I don't knows."



Alexis: I'm feeling a little embarrassed because I'm used to being in control of my feelings and I'm really not. But I will be (pause) once the dust settles. What I do know is that I care about you deeply and --

Sonny: Alexis, I respect you. I'll do whatever you want.

Alexis: Thank you.

Sonny: OK, just so I'm clear, you're still my lawyer?

Alexis: Yes.

Sonny: All right. Because, you know, if that's a problem --

Alexis: No.

Sonny:
I can get somebody else. They're not going to be as good as you are, nobody can be, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

Alexis: You're not, you don't. I mean, you won't.

Sonny: All right.

Alexis: I'm not giving up. I'm just breathing. Go home (pause) and be with your wife. I'm fine.

Sonny: All right.

(Sonny leaves and stands in the hall outside her door, thinking deeply)