May 8, 2002 Transcript
"This Is Not Your Fault"

Alexis: Zander ...

Zander: Oh, you just missed Sonny. He was asking questions that he didn't want the answers to. Well, I told him. Secret's out, Alexis. The truth is I guess it was never much of a secret though, was it?

Alexis: What are you talking about?

Zander: Figure it out.

Alexis: Did she know?

Zander: About you and Sonny? Yeah, she knew. She went up to the penthouse to take Sonny a birthday card from Michael. The door was open. She was worried about him. She went in - you know Carly - barreled right in, went upstairs ... do I really have to finish the story, Alexis?

Alexis: Oh God, she saw us. Oh God.

Zander: ... and her heart stopped. And she fought against the pain by coming to me and I turned her away. Do you wanna know why? Because all of a sudden I'm some hot shot overly-sentsitive idiot who didn't want to be used. How's that for the most ridiculous thing you ever heard?

Alexis: It's not your fault.

Zander: Oh, I put Carly in that car just as much as you and Sonny. But if I hadn't been so selfish, if I would have listened to Carly's pain instead of my own, she would still be alive today, Alexis.

Alexis: That's not true because once Carly makes up her mind to do something there's no stopping -

Zander: (interrupting) She's dead, Alexis! She drowned in the lake. So you can stop putting her down now, acting like you're so much better. You know what? You know what, just get out of here. Go find Sonny, celebrate, take him back to bed, stay there for a week so you don't have to pretend that you're really sorry about it.

At Carly and Jax's club, in the office.

Jax: Alexis, what are you doing here?

Alexis: Trying to find Carly. She was impetutuous, she's impulsive, it's not that farfetched to think she took off in a rage - in fact, if I could just find a fax number or the number of some sort of reservation that would give some sort of an indication of where she was headed.

Jax: Alexis, Carly went off a cliff.

Alexis: You don't know that. You weren't there. There are any number of plausible scenarios - she could have gotten herself to safety, she could have sent the damn car off on purpose by herself -

Jax: Alexis, come here. This is not your fault.

Alexis: Yes it is. Yes it is.

Jax: Alexis, I've already gone through Carly's paperwork twice and there's no indication that she was going anywhere.

Alexis: I know that this is irrational. I do know that. Carly had a lot of irrational impulses - it's amazing how many of them actually paid off for her. You know, sometimes you just had to marvel at her. Sonny refuses to accept the fact that she's dead.

Jax: What do you think?

Alexis: I think that I want everything to be the way it was 48 hours ago.

Jax: When someone as young and vital as Carly suddenly departs, people have the tendency to blame themselves, especially if they didn't really like that person. Don't go down that road, Alexis. There's no upside to it.

Alexis: I love you so much, but you really have no idea what you're talking about.

Jax: Well, it wouldn't be the first time. All I'm saying is just try to maintain perspective.

Alexis: Perspective requires objectivity which I'm usually really good at. I can assess, I can stand back, I can make informed decisions as to what's gonna happen next but at the moment I have no idea what that might be.

Jax: For you or for Sonny?

Alexis: Who said anything about Sonny?

Jax: You did. What is it that you want from Sonny?

Alexis: I can't answer that right now. I don't want to talk about that right now. (Phone rings) Alexis Davis. I'll be right there. I have to go.

Jax: Are you all right?

Alexis: No. But thanks for trying to make me feel better.

Jax: Well, you're welcome.

Alexis: You liked Carly, didn't you?

Jax: Yeah, yeah I liked her very much.

Alexis meets Sonny at the lake.