March 12, 2002 Transcript
"This is So Much Worse Than I Thought"

Sonny: What about you and me? I thought we were ok.

Alexis: Well, we are ok. It goes beyond ok. It's -- it's -- I just want to talk to you about how you've been acting toward me lately.

Sonny: What do you -- you know I'm grateful. I mean, if I live to be 100, I can't repay you for your help with Courtney and all that.

Alexis: It's not -- no, no, it's not about repayment. It's about you understanding something.

Sonny: Understand what?

Alexis: Well, me.

Sonny: What -- is there something wrong with you?

Alexis: No, no -- not really.

Sonny: Then what? You know what? There's not a single thing you cannot tell me. So whatever it is, just say it.

Alexis: You know how you say something that you shouldn't say or something that you have no right to say -- more importantly, something that just simply isn't true at all. And in this case, it's a matter of all three.

Sonny: You know, usually when you do this, i can follow you. Right now you're not making any

Alexis: I realize that.

Sonny: Then what is it? Is it something that you -- you want from me? What?

Alexis: I need to go find Kristina.

Kristina: I am not second-guessing anyone's feelings ever again -- not Sonny's, not Alexis', and not yours.

Ned: Well, you won't have to guess about Alexis' much longer.

Alexis: There is such a thing as overstepping the bounds of a relationship.

Kristina: Ok, look, I know Ned told you what I said to Sonny.

Ned: Now, I was under the impression that it was out in the open.

Alexis: Ned, this is between Kristina and me.

Ned: Before i go, just know that Kristina's heart was in the right place.

Kristina: He's right, you know, about my heart --

Alexis: I'm not interested in your heart, Kristina. I would like to know, where the hell was your head? Now, when did you tell Sonny about your little fantasy, and, more importantly, how could you?

Kristina: Look, Sonny made me so mad, I wasn't thinking clearly.

Alexis: You weren't thinking --

Kristina: Just the second it came out of my mouth --

Alexis: Just give me the details --

Kristina: I knew I said --

Alexis: Just tell me what you said to him, and hurry up before he walks over here --

Kristina: It'll be fine.

Alexis: I am so embarrassed. How am I going to look at him again? How am I ever going to represent him? Do you have any idea what you've done to my credibility?

Sonny: Hello. Hello. Looks like you might need this.

Alexis: Oh. I'm fine.

Kristina: Yeah, it's --

Sonny: Can we -- I'm just going to take her just to talk to her for a second.

Kristina: Alexis -- Alexis will be fine.

Alexis: The ladies' room.

Kristina: All right.

Alexis: Now. Excuse us.

Kristina: Well, at least you're breathing now.

Alexis: Which makes it possible for me to start yelling at you.

Kristina: Alexis, just find your center, keep --

Alexis: Kristina, that's enough. What did Sonny say when you dropped your bizarre, not to mention inappropriate, intrusive fantasy in his lap?

Kristina: He said nothing. Well, no, actually, he was strangely quiet.

Alexis: Kristina --

Kristina: I swear it just slipped out of my mouth.

Alexis: A pen slips out of your pocket. A glass slips out of your hand. "By the way, Alexis loves you" doesn't just slip.

Kristina: Well, he --

Alexis: It gets pushed.

Kristina: He barged into your apartment. He reamed you out for trying to help him. He was cold and condescending. You know, you deserve better than that. Which -- which is not to say that Sonny isn't thoughtful and charming, and it is perfectly natural that you would have feelings for him, but --

Alexis: How is this any of your business?

Kristina: It's not. I stepped out of line. I realize that. Look, I went back to Sonny's apartment and I tried telling him that I was wrong, that your feelings for him were completely concocted in my head and he should just forget it.

Alexis: And did he believe that?

Kristina: What I said or what I denied?

Alexis: What you denied.

Kristina: I don't know. He just -- he just gave me one of his Sonny looks.

Alexis: Oh, God. What if he believes this?

Kristina: But isn't it the truth?

Alexis: It is not the truth, Kristina. The words "I love Sonny" have never crossed my lips.

Kristina: Has it crossed your mind?

Alexis: That is the beauty of having a mind, Kristina. It's mine. It's private. It's secret. I can have whole conversations in my own mind and nobody has to know about it. Oh, God. Oh, man, this is so much worse than I thought.

Kristina: What are you thinking?

Alexis: I'm second-guessing all the things that Sonny has done since you mistakenly informed him that I love him. He sent me gardenias -- twice. He talked about going back to Puerto Rico. He has thanked me countless times for everything from my advice to my friendship, and now I know why. He feels sorry for me. "Poor little Alexis is in love with me. I better toss her a few crumbs."

Kristina: Why do you always do that? The glass is not half empty.

Alexis: If Ii were you, I wouldn't give me a lecture on positive thinking. I'm a realist. This is the most humiliated I've ever been.

Kristina: No, no, no. See, that -- that is what hurts me more than anything. You shouldn't be embarrassed, Alexis. Sonny should be embarrassed. You're not getting the kind of love that you deserve. And what's worse is that you don't think that you have a right to it.

Kristina: Ok. What if what I said to Sonny made him realize how he really felt about you? What if everything he did wasn't out of pity? It was because --

Alexis: I cannot believe the nerve you have to keep talking. Sonny is first and foremost my client. He also happens to be hung up on his ex-wife. There are myriad of reasons why what you just said cannot be. It is impossible -- nod if you understand what that word means. Then do not bring up this subject again ever.

Kristina: I'm sorry. It's just because I love you. What can Ido to help?

Alexis: Don't help. This is my life. I will handle it.

Kristina: What are you going to do?

Alexis: I don't know.