January 29, 2002 Transcript
"That Is How You Treat Someone Who Is In Love You?"

Alexis is at the gym.

Ned: Come here often? You should. I've never seen you more beautiful.

Alexis: Are you drunk?

Ned: Not yet. So what are you doing here?

Alexis: What does it look like i'm doing?

Ned: Exercising. But why?

Alexis: Because I'm expanding my muscles.

Ned: Hmm.

Alexis: And getting healthy.

Ned: "Getting healthy." But you hate getting healthy. Whether it's jogging or swimming or tae-bo or tae kwon do or baton twirling --

Alexis: I'm into health. I'm all about health now.

[Ned buzzes]

Ned: Wrong answer. Thank you for playing. We have some lovely parting gifts for you.

Alexis: Are you all right?

Ned: I've never been better. But we're talking about you. So what's up with this health kick? It must be about something else. Or someone else.

Alexis: Is it so hard to believe that I'm exercising just because i want to exercise?

Scott: Hey. Alexis. Hiya, Ned.

Ned: Scott.

Alexis: Scott, I'm begging you not to say anything that upsets me.

Scott: Oh, I would never do that. I'm just wondering if your evening got a little better when you went off with the don?

[Knock on door]

Sonny: Yeah?

Johnny: Sonny? Somebody to see you.

Sonny: Who?

Johnny: Alexis' sister.

Sonny: All right. Just tell her to come back. It's not a good time right now.

Kristina: Excuse me. Sonny, who the hell do you think you are?

Kristina: What did you say to my sister?

Johnny: Sonny, do you want me to escort her back across the hall?

Sonny: Johnny, no, no, no. I'll handle it.

Kristina: Yeah, like you handled Alexis? I don't think so.

Sonny: I don't have to explain myself to anybody.

Kristina: That's the exact problem. Don't you get it?

Sonny: You know what, Kristina? I appreciate the fact that you think you have the answer to everybody's problem, but I have not ever asked you to interfere in my life or my business. We're done here.

Kristina: I'm not leaving until I say what Ii came to say.

Sonny: Go home, Kristina. That way i don't have to tell your sister that you came over here and suddenly forgot your manners.

Kristina: What would you know about manners?

Sonny: Well, I know enough not to barge into another person's home and start lecturing them on subjects I know nothing about.

Kristina: You can't dismiss me, sonny. I don't work for you, ok? And you may be number one on the F.B.I.'S most wanted list, but that gives you no right to hurt my sister.

Alexis: If you've come to remind me why I should never date, speak, or have any contact with you whatsoever, mission accomplished.

Scott: Ok, but I just want to say i feel the same way, except for the fact, you know, I did get stuck with the check.

Bobbie: Hey.

Alexis: Look at me --

Bobbie: Come here.

Scott: What? What's going on here?

Bobbie: Hey, hey. I'm saving you from yourself.

Scott: What?

Bobbie: Obviously, your skills with the opposite sex need a little work.

Scott: Are you kidding? The best thing I did was to dump her the other night. You know what? I hooked up with this girl who thinks I'm, you know, the cat's meow. She thinks that I walk on water. How do you like that?

Bobbie: She does?

Scott: Why would you say it like that?

Bobbie: Obviously, you won't be needing my consultant services anymore.

Ned: I think that weight should be good for you. All right. Hands up. Put your hands on the bar and just pull it down in front of your chest.

Alexis: You think this weight ll be good for

Alexis: You know, this is really irritating.

Ned: The machine?

Alexis: No, you. Go ahead, ask me. I know you're dying to.

Ned: Ask you about what?

Alexis: Sonny.

Ned: I'm not going to ask you about Sonny.

Alexis: Yes, you are. You want to know. Everybody seems to want to know. And then you're going ask me, I'm going to tell you, and then you'll tell me how bad he is.

Ned: Turn around. Put your hands up on the bar. Come on. Here we go. All the way down. There you go. It's the perfect weight for you.

Sonny: My dealings with Alexis are none of your business.

Kristina: When my sister is being hurt, it's my business.

Sonny: I doubt Alexis would agree.

Kristina: How would you even know? When was the last time that you paid attention to how Alexis felt, what Alexis thought? You're too busy using her when it's convenient for you. Whatever you need, Sonny -- you need a lawyer, you need a place for your sister to stay, you need someone to fly with you to Puerto Rico -- you just expect Alexis to be around ready, willing, and able to be at your beck and call at all hours. Now, Alexis says that you have a heart somewhere inside of there, and I guess I have to believe her because Alexis has a good judge of character, but this idea that what you say goes, that everyone else's feelings or thoughts don't matter -- forget it, Sonny. You don't set the rules here despite what everyone in this town seems to think. You're no better than anybody else.

Sonny: I never claimed to be.

Kristina: Well, that's how you act. That's how you treat people. You do know what karma is, don't you?

Sonny: Mm-hmm.

Kristina: Right. You do good things, good things happen to you. You do bad things, bad things happen to you. You may be scary to most people, but I'm not scared. You treat my sister better.

Sonny: You know what? All I know is Alexis came here, she said she wanted to tell me how she felt -- whatever. I said to her that, you know, I'd give her anything she wanted, and, bam, just like that, she went off on me.

Kristina: Well, you -- you had no idea what Alexis came here to tell you?

Sonny: I'm not a mind reader, Kristina, you know?

Kristina: Well --

Sonny: She comes here, she says I stink, and she walks out. You know what? I can't -- if she's not happy with me, that's her choice. She can leave.

Kristina: That is the way that you treat someone who's in love with you?

Sonny: What'd you say?

Kristina: You heard me, Sonny. I said that, you know, Alexis is one of god's genuinely loving creatures. I mean, she loves everything, everybody, from tree frogs to -- to gangsters, and, I mean, you know better than anybody she loves her clients and she loves her friends and she loves small children and small animals and other such creatures and -- you know, of course Alexis loves, you but broadly -- I mean, generally, familiarly, in a friendly, general sort of way, and -- I mean, you didn't -- you didn't think that I was, like, implying --

Sonny: What?

Kristina: Implying anything romantic? Not only are you self-centered and karmically challenged, but your ego is really out of control.

Sonny: Really?

Kristina: Yeah. I got to go.

Sonny: Ok, wait a minute. Wait. What about --

[Kristina sighs]

Kristina: My god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Ned: Easy. Easy now.

Alexis: I've had it.

Ned: Come on, a few more strokes.

Alexis: No, with you. Why don't you just ask me about Sonny?

Ned: Because your life is your life.

Alexis: Well, that's a little too zen even for you.

Ned: All right. You really want to know?

Alexis: Yes, I do.

Ned: Ok. I don't know what had happened, but somewhere along the line, I became this person that I don't particularly like. So, I've decided to remake myself into anything I want -- you know, be who I am. And I know that sounds a little zen-like, but it's true. I've been watching my grandfather fight for his life, and I've decided that I'm going to fight for mine, and that means starting to care of myself first and stop worrying about everyone else, and that means stop worrying about you and your love life, so your love life is your business.

Alexis: I don't have a love life, I'm alone, and I like it that way because i don't have to negotiate, I don't have to compromise. I can just focus on my work. I can just focus on my general practice, which is what I'm going to do because I'm the happiest single person I know. Do you see how happy I am?

Ned: Let's work on your triceps.

Alexis: Ok.

Alexis' voice: You have to start telling people how you feel. We both do, so i'll go first. I'm going to tell you how I feel about you.

Sonny's voice: How do you feel about me, alexis?

Alexis' voice: I think i'll take a lesson from you and I'm going to keep my mouth shut.

Sonny's voice: Whatever this is, it's got your eyes all bright and your heart racing.

Alexis' voice: Words have consequences, particularly the words with feelings attached.

Sonny's voice: You know, if i've done something else wrong or if you want more perks or privacy or time off, just say it. There's nothing you can't ask or tell me.

Alexis' voice: I can live very well without expressing my every thought. Now, then again, my sister -- she has unedited thoughts. She's cornered the tell-all market.

Kristina's voice: This is how you treat someone who's in love with you?

Alexis: Ok, pick it up. It's -- I can'T. It's too heavy.

Ned: Alexis, if you don't try, you're not going to get stronger.

Alexis: Ned, you're dating my sister and I let you live. Why are you trying to kill me?

Ned: I'm not trying to kill you. I'm trying, actually, to extend your life.

Alexis: Enough with the equanimity.

Ned: You have a good life.

Alexis: It has its ups and downs.

Ned: Well, a lot more ups, I think. In fact, if I remember correctly, you and i had a hell of a ride together.

Alexis: Hi!

Kristina: Hi.

Alexis: Kristina.

Kristina: Ahem.

Ned: Hi.

Alexis: Thank god.

Ned: Yeah. Any excuse to stop exercising.

Alexis: No, I'm genuinely happy to see my sister. It was very good timing.

Kristina: Oh, I don't know if i would say that.

Alexis: We just ran into each other -- accident, right? Yeah?

Ned: Oh, absolutely.

Alexis: Yeah.

Kristina: Um --

Alexis: You ok?

Kristina: I've been better. But, alexis, can i speak to you for a second? Ned, would you mind?

Ned: No. No.

Kristina: I think I just made a huge mistake.

Alexis: Go ahead.

Kristina: Well, have you ever said something to somebody and then realized that maybe you shouldn't have said it, maybe you were really wrong, but in the moment, you thought that you were justified, but then afterwards, you thought about it and you really were wrong?

Alexis: I've spent a good portion of my life saying the wrong thing. Why don't you go over and spend some time with ned? It'll make you feel better.

Kristina: I don't think so.

Alexis: No, no, go ahead, really, because, you know, I got to get an ice pack on this thing.

Kristina: Alexis, I really need to talk to you.

Alexis: I really do. It really hurts. You tell me in a little bit. I'll be right back.

Sonny: Alexis? I need -- I need to speak to you.

Alexis: What is it?