The Convenient Wife
by Kelly

chapter 66

She very rarely drove. Most days she just took the limo that Sonny
had left at her disposal. But today she'd rented a car. This way,
she'd need none of his men with her. She just wanted to get on the
open road…to choose an interstate and go. Like she used to do down in
Florida…just hop an Amtrak without a plan. Without a set destination
until she hit the ticket booth and picked a random town whose name
sounded appealing. Whenever she felt trapped in her life, she'd just
taken off to find out what the hell she wanted to do next and with
whom. To get lost for a while in her own thoughts…in her hopes and
her dreams. And that's exactly what she intended to do now.

With any luck, she'd lose Carly Corinthos in the crowd somewhere and
find someone who'd been missing for a long time: Caroline Benson.

She'd gotten too absorbed in her husband's world…in his identity…in
his concept of who she was. And now she had to do some work to get
back to who she wanted to be.

She had decided to drop the kids off first, say her goodbyes—they
would be painful but it wouldn't be forever—and then make her way to
the interstate. Simply the thought of getting away made her body feel
less tense already, as if a great weight had been lifted from her
shoulders. No more tears. No more fighting. She had had enough of all
that.

The children were downstairs with her in the living room; Michael was
amusing Morgan on the sofa and their bags stood by the door as Carly
contemplated her departure. Her thoughts were interrupted by a sharp
rap on the door.

When she opened it, she saw Jason on the other side and her stomach
fell. His eyes, so intensely blue, were as cold as ice as they
fastened on the children's bags. His hand snaked out and grabbed her
shoulder like a manacle….tight enough to leave marks on her tender
skin. She yelped and jerked away from him.

"What's the matter with you, Jase? Let me go!"

"What the hell are you thinkin'?" he demanded, stalking into the
room. "It's not enough you take the boys from Sonny. Now you're gonna
sneak outta town with them and never let him see `em again? Never let
ME see `em again? Like some kidnapper? Carly, you make me sick! I
can't think of words low enough for you!"

She stared at him in the wake of his violent anger, her face white
with shock and hurt.

"That's what you think?" she asked him in small voice. "That's what
you think I'd do? Steal his kids and never look back? Walk away from
YOU and never look back?"

Jason flung a hand out towards the luggage. "Seems that way, doesn't
it?"

She swallowed convulsively, looking up at the man who had once
believed in her without question, even when she was stupid and wrong.
But now he thought her so vindictive that he was glaring at her with
a disgust he reserved for Faith Roscoe. Something in Carly withered
under the heat of his fury.

"You used to tell me the truth even when you were lying to everyone
else," he raged on. "You used to be loyal to me…to Sonny. It was us
against the world. But that's all changed now. YOU'VE changed. So
what the hell am I supposed to think?"

"You're supposed to think, `This is my best friend so I'll give her
the benefit of the doubt cuz that's what friends do'," she said to
him. "The old Jason would've asked me for an explanation. The old
Jason wouldn't have come blazing in here yelling at me in front of my
kids!"

She watched as Jason's eyes shifted to the couch and found Michael
staring at him wide-eyed with fear and a bit of anger at how the man
had spoken to his mother.

"Sorry, buddy," he said more gently to Michael. "But me and your mom
have somethin' really serious to work out."

"But you don't have to yell at her like that," the little boy
responded sternly, poking his jaw out in a show of masculine strength
of which Carly was proud.

Jason sighed, shifting his shoulders uncomfortably. "Michael, I just
want to make sure you get to see your mom AND your dad, okay?"

"But that's what's gonna happen, Uncle Jason. I'm gonna go visit my
Dad and my new sister right now."

Jason's eyes shifted to Carly questioningly. She smiled, a
bittersweet little smile. "I'm taking the boys to stay with their
father while I go out of town BY MYSELF and get my head together,"
she explained. "You know, I do listen to your advice occasionally…and-
-and when you asked me to be the one to sacrifice…to love Sonny
enough to let him go… I listened and I realized you're right: I'm
being selfish keeping them from their dad."

His face softened as he took in her words and the scene before him
with new understanding. His body uncoiled from its attack position
and he sighed.

"I can't believe this," he murmured.

Her smile grew but sadness remained in her eyes. "I know…that selfish
old me would put someone else first. Hard to swallow, huh? Maybe I'm
growing up a little. Stranger things have happened."

Jason heard the pain in her voice if his frown was any
indication. "I'm…I'm sorry," he told her. "Max called me and told me
about the bags and--you know--with the way things are I just assumed—"

"That I'd take them and run," she interjected. "I'm not gonna lie: I
thought about it. I thought about it a whole helluva lot. And I
almost did it. Cuz I wanted to hurt Sonny. Badly. I still do. But
hurting him was hurting them, too. And I don't want them growing up
thinking they don't have their father's love. I know what that can do
to a kid. I've been there."

The man nodded in understanding; she knew Jason remembered well what
she had endured searching for her biological mother and then learning
that her father was some john who never even knew he had a kid
somewhere.

Carly shrugged. "I've used these boys as a weapon against him. So I
guess…you had a right to think what you did."

Jason's expression hardened. "Yeah, I had a right. After the hell you
brought him this week. He's aged like ten years from this, Carly."

She shrugged again. "Yeah, well it's been no picnic for me either.
And look: I'm not saying that I'm suddenly Mary Poppins and that I
like that he's with Alexis. I NEVER will. But he's moved on, and he's
by no means my last stop either. I have a lot o' life left in me.
It's time I stopped living through him and find out what I want for
myself."

"If that's true…I hope to hell you make it," he whispered. "I really
do."

She nodded. "Thanks."

"But if this is real…if you're serious about bringing them to Sonny
today—"

"I am."

"Then there's something you should know. Sonny and Alexis…they're not
home. They're on their way to Puerto Rico with Kristina…on a
honeymoon."

Carly couldn't help it…her eyes rolled. "Fabulous. I try to do a good
deed, and they go off to paradise together."

"Now wait, maybe we can catch up to `em. Maybe they'll want to take
the boys, too. Let `em get to know Krissy."

Carly thought a moment, swallowed hard as if a mammoth piece of
something had to be forced down her throat. And maybe it was
something large…her pride.

"I…I guess that would be alright," she croaked. "If Alexis is woman
enough to care for two babies and a little man like my Michael."

"Carly—"

She heard the warning in his voice and smiled wider. "Yeah, I know
that was bitchy. I'll try, Jase. It isn't easy to break the habit of
insulting her. It just comes natural to me."

Jason smirked and shook his head, but Carly couldn't help but feel
that some little piece of what they were…some part that had broken
and fallen away…could be salvaged…could be held on to and repaired.
Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But sometime in the future she
could win back Jason's respect…his trust…his friendship.

And that made her irrationally happy.

chapter 67