The Convenient Wife
by Kelly

chapter 40

She looked into his beautiful face and felt her love for him shine
from her eyes. It was pointless now to deny it; whether he felt the
same way or not, he was her life.

"What do I see in you? I see a lot, Sonny," she confessed in a voice
that was at once breathless and strangely sure. "I see a man who
rose from the worst kind of childhood….like I did…and made himself a
better life in the only way he could. But he had to sacrifice a lot
along the way. I see the father of my only child. I see the best
friend I've ever had. And the only lover who's ever broken through
the barriers I erected around my heart.

"I don't see damage. I don't see worthlessness. I see you, the real
you, the greatness and the flaws alike. And I have never once felt
ashamed of who you are."

When she finished, he was hard pressed to keep his emotions in check,
his mouth quivered and he couldn't quite meet her eyes. The tidal
surge of sadness threatened to overwhelm him in front of her.

"Then tell me why," he demanded, his voice hoarse and little boy
uncertainty in his stance. "If that's true, tell me why you kept her
from me."

Alexis reached up and with one tapered finger, brought his chin up so
he'd be forced to face her. "It was never you," she whispered. "It
was never that you weren't good enough for her…or for me. You know I
love you. You know it. You're hurt and angry right now, but you know
it, Sonny."

Tears overflowed his dark eyes splashing onto her hand. She reached
up to wipe them away. "It was your life. It was who it made you
become that year. Someone I didn't even know anymore."

He swallowed. It was the same thing Carly had told him. But did it
make any difference? Would any reason she could offer soothe the
savage ache in his soul?

His emotions seesawed from one extreme to the other. Earlier, he had
told Alexis no reason would ever suffice. Then he'd negated that to
Carly; he'd told her nothing could sever him and Alexis. Now he stood
before the love of his life conflicted somewhere between those two
assertions: awestruck enough by her beauty to want to take her into
his arms and make love to her all night. Wounded enough by her deceit
to walk away and never let himself be hurt like this again.

She hauled in an uneven breath. "You--you must remember what you were
like with me back then. You said you'd break me. I'll never forget
that."

He stiffened at the accusation, wiping angrily at his tears with the
back of his hand. "You tried to break me, too. You stood in front of
the Press on live television and told them all that you were coming
after me when you ran for DA. You became my enemy."

"I had a job to do…"

"A job you used to hurt me! Do you know how that made me feel?"

"And you never wielded any weapons against me? You never told me if
you were Kristina's father you'd take her away from me? You said
that, Sonny! You said it more than once!"

"And you actively tried to take my children from me. You represented
Carly, of all people. And you said things in court that shamed me,
Lex. Things I shared with you in secret! How would you like it if I
shared what Helena did to you and your mother in front of the entire
world?"

"I didn't want to do any of that! Carly blackmailed me! You remember
Carly? The woman you ran to tonight! The woman you let comfort you!"

Sonny read the allegation in her eyes. "I didn't sleep with her
tonight if that's what you're trying to say."

She folded her arms across her body and angled a wounded glance his
way. "But you wanted to. You wanted to hurt me with her, didn't you?"

He held her gaze for a beat, then nodded. "Yeah, I did. And I almost
went through with that."

Alexis wanted to wretch. "Why the hell don't you stop falling for
that witch? She knew the truth about Kristina all along, Sonny, and
she kept quiet so that she could pull my strings!"

"I know," he said gruffly. "She stupidly told me that herself
tonight. But she wouldn't have been able to pull any strings, Alexis,
if you had trusted me with the truth. If you had trusted us to work
something out…to keep the baby safe."

She shook her head sadly. "Okay, Sonny. So we both have valid points.
Both of us lost our way back then. And both of us forgot what we had
been to each other."

His eyes darkened as he conceded to that truth. "How the hell did we
let that happen? How the hell did something so pure and right become
so damn wrong?"

A colossal knot of dread settled between the blades of her shoulders.
She knew. She knew the very moment she had started to hate him.

chapter 41