A Thousand Winters Melting
by lsquared

Note: This is speculation based on some recent spoilers and this picture. Also, this picture.

The scene outside the hospital was of a somber, idle world. Frigid temperatures were expected, but the freezing rain had caught Port Charles unawares. Cars had to be abandoned on the parking lot with wipers frozen to the windshields in mid-motion. Even in the dark, there was a white glow in the sky from the layers of ice glazing the ground, the trees, power lines, and every other exposed surface. The only disturbance was the occasional sound of scraping; the fruitless attempts by hospital maintenance to clear paths in the slick ground.

Alexis had been grateful for the stillness. She had been keeping vigil at Sam’s bedside since before the ice storm, when her daughter was struck by a car. She had watched from the window as the gray of an average, gloomy winter day gave way to an eerie white. Holding her daughter’s hand, Alexis had been lulled to sleep, though fitful, by the sound of the sleet, the crackle of it hardening on the tree branches.

The plastic cup of water one of the nurses had forced on Alexis earlier in the day was sitting in a ring of water on the sliding tray over the foot of Sam’s bed. Meals the staff had brought were in the trash can; Alexis couldn’t stand the smell. Her appetite was nonexistent, and the slimy Jell-O and plastic turkey breast had done little to stimulate her senses.

She repositioned herself, angling the chair to the right instead of the left. Alexis looked at Sam’s hand, pale and limp against the fleece blanket. She thought about the last time her oldest daughter was confined to a hospital bed with an uncertain prognosis. There had been various degrees of progress and set-backs in their relationship since then, but Alexis was certain she felt more like her mother in that moment than at any other time. She slid her fingers under Sam’s palm, cupping her daughter’s hand, feeling the weight of her fingers much the same way she had when Sam was first born.

Alexis bent down and brushed her lips over Sam’s knuckles. Her skin was dry and cracked. “I have some lotion,” Alexis said out loud, and she fished through her purse for a tube of hand cream. She massaged the thick, scented lotion onto her daughter’s hands, warming them between her own. Movement at the door caught her eye and Alexis looked over to see Jerry backing sheepishly into the hallway.

“Wait,” Alexis called out. She pulled the blanket up to Sam’s waist and followed a fleeing Jerry.

He stopped and turned to face her, looking guilty for having spied a tender moment between mother and daughter. “I’m sorry,” Jerry said. “I shouldn’t have intruded.”

“You didn’t. What are you doing here?”

Jerry held his hands out, shrugging, as though the answer should be obvious.

“Did you do something? Are the police on their way?” Alexis asked.

He shook his head. “Why must it be that I’m in trouble? Why must it be that I’m only here to see you as my lawyer?”

Alexis took in his appearance – long wool coat, black leather boots, woven scarf draped over his shoulders. The tip of his nose was red, as were his ears. Jerry even smelled of the cold, wet weather. “We’re in the middle of an ice storm,” she reminded him. “Did you skate here?”

“Would you believe me if I said I did?”

A brief smile flitted across her face. “No.”

“It’s really not that bad out,” he told her. “The roads are covered in more salt than ice by now.”

It dawned on Alexis that she was approaching the end of her third day in the hospital, and while the ice was a long ways away from thawing, there hadn’t been any new precipitation for a while. She felt suddenly disconnected from the world, and disheveled. She touched her hair and her plain face. She kept her hand to her mouth, hiding what she imagined were dry lips and an uneven complexion.

“How long have you been here, Alexis?”

She turned from him, looking through the window into Sam’s room. “Since she was brought in,” Alexis said, and she felt him move closer behind her before she saw his reflection in the glass.

Jerry was chilled to the bone, the cold having cooled him through his clothes and heavy coat. But standing behind Alexis’ heated, tense body, he burned under his collar. “Have you slept? Have you eaten?” he quizzed her.

Alexis spun around, still unprepared for his proximity. She stammered and slid to the side, heading back into Sam’s room. She reclaimed her seat and noted with disappointment that nothing had changed.

“Do you mind?” Jerry asked, picking up a chair from against the wall.

She shook her head no and shifted to make room for him.

“How is she doing?” Jerry asked, tentative. He was prepared for Alexis to berate him, to claim that it obviously didn’t really matter to him. He didn’t know if it was her panic or lack of sleep, but Alexis was able to overlook Jerry’s sordid history with Sam and welcome his company and concern. “Any changes?”

“No. Nothing.” Alexis glanced at the machines beeping a steady rhythm.

Jerry spied the food trays sticking out of the trash and the full cup of water sweating on the tray. “Alexis,” he said, “you really should eat something. Let me get you some dinner.”

She shook her head. “No, don’t. I couldn’t eat anything if I wanted to.”

“What about sleep? Have you slept?”

“Yes.”

Jerry squinted doubtfully. “More than ten minutes at a time from your chair?”

Alexis remained silent.

“Why don’t you let me take you home?” he asked.

Her reaction was scooting closer to the bed, her knees uncomfortable up against a bar underneath. “I can’t leave.”

“Darling,” Jerry said, moving closer, “you’re not going to be any good to Sam if you’re sick and tired and have no strength.”

She flinched when his hand was suddenly on her thigh. Her skin was scorched under the spread of his fingers and the weight of his palm. “I’m fine,” she insisted.

He was unconvinced by the tremor in her voice. “Where are your other girls?”

“At Sonny’s.”

“Seems to me,” Jerry said, the pad of his thumb rubbing a small circle on her leg, “that you have the perfect opportunity to go home and get some rest.”

Alexis struggled to find her voice with the gentle pressure of his thumb tickling her through denim. “I don’t want her to wake up alone.”

“She wouldn’t want you here starving and sleep deprived, Alexis. The hospital will call you if there is any change.”

“I wouldn’t feel good about going out in this weather.”

“I’ll drive you,” he said. “I have four wheel drive and new tires and I’m used to worse conditions than this. Besides, it really has gotten better since it started.”

She studied his face, noting Jerry’s steel resolve and confidence. His face was also soft and kind. He stood up and Alexis thought he looked like such a comfortable, warm place to fall. She wanted him to wrap her in his coat, to feel the soft fibers of his scarf tangled around her neck, his woodsy scent clinging to every thread. “All right,” she gave in. “Will you find the nurse? I want to give her strict instructions on how to reach me.”

Jerry had stood by, balancing Alexis’ coat, purse, and another bag in his arms, while she told and re-told the nursing staff how to reach her. He’d had to reassure Alexis in the elevator that she was doing the right thing, and again when they got to the ground floor lobby. When the doors to the lot opened and the bitter cold swarmed in at them, he’d had to battle her again, convincing her to step outside.

“I’m parked just over there,” he said, holding onto her arm with one hand and pointing toward the first row of cars with the other.

Alexis remained in place under the awning. She wasn’t refusing to move so much as she was paralyzed by the sight of the glazed trees, benches, and cars. She had only seen it all through the tinted window of Sam’s room.

“Careful, careful,” Jerry whispered, his arm around her waist. He guided Alexis across the lot, their feet crunching over pebbles of salt. She was wearing a pair of slip-ons, barely more than house slippers, and she could feel the moist cold through the thin soles. Alexis lost her footing stepping over a median and her knees gave out. She latched onto Jerry’s coat, her thighs locked around his legs, and he held her up. They stood that way, tangled and cautious, until she found the strength to straighten up.

“Close call,” Alexis panted. She was out of breath, nervous over the near mishap and from the friction of having been locked around Jerry’s sturdy legs.

His arm remained fastened around her waist, pinning Alexis to his side. He shuffled his feet forward and again, Alexis slipped and turned toward him. In an effort to avoid straddling him, she reached her arms up and around his neck, flush against the front of his body. Jerry held her, his face inches from hers, and said, “Now I think you’re doing it on purpose.”

Alexis glanced behind her at the few feet left until they reached his car.

“I have an idea.” Jerry winked and guided Alexis’ arms from around his neck to her sides. He turned around and bent his knees.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Get on,” Jerry insisted.

Alexis reached out to swat him, but the slightest movement had her close to falling on the ground. She hesitated and then wrapped her arms around his neck. Her breath hitched when Jerry reached backward, grabbing hold of her legs and lifting until they were circled tightly around his waist. He carried her that way to the car and swore he heard Alexis giggle.

He parked as close to the front door as he could. Jerry opened the passenger side door and turned his back to Alexis. “Your carriage awaits, Madame.”

“I think I can manage on my own,” she said.

“Suit yourself,” Jerry told her, moving to let her out of the car. He watched, amused, as Alexis worked her way clumsily to the door.

She stopped on the porch and turned back to the front lawn. The countless trees, in front of her and in the distance, sparkled with the ice. Every skinny, delicate branch was precisely covered. The twigs looked weighed down, on the brink of snapping. The sheet of ice that was the lake sparkled from afar, light from the moon glinting off the surface.

“It’s rather beautiful, isn’t it?” Jerry asked.

Alexis nodded. She turned and his face was right there, glowing a pale blue from the moon and the sheen of the ice. “Beautiful and destructive all at the same time,” she said.

He took the keys from her hand and opened the door. The house had a stale smell from being locked up, dark, and unlived in for days. The glass of juice Alexis had been drinking when she got the call about Sam’s accident was still on the table, as were loose papers and files she had been working on.

Jerry removed his coat and scarf, draping them over the back of a chair. “Why don’t you go on and get some sleep. I’ll sit here and listen for the phone,” he offered.

“I can’t. I’m not tired.”

He rolled his eyes. “Alexis.” His tone was scolding.

“Really. I wouldn’t sleep at all.”

“Then you must eat something. There aren’t many things I can cook, but what I do, I do well.”

She felt a flutter in her stomach that she convinced herself was the return of her appetite and not a reaction to Jerry’s words and the low, hungry sound of his voice. “Fine,” she gave in. “Good luck finding something in my kitchen.”

Alexis had to pace the floors to keep from falling asleep while Jerry was cooking. She disappeared into the bathroom a few times to splash water on her face. He caught her yawning when he finally came out with two plates of food.

“Dinner is served,” Jerry said. He looked at his watch and amended, “Midnight snack is served.”

Alexis smelled the bacon and eggs before she saw the food on the plate. “That was in my refrigerator?”

“No, I broke into the neighbor’s.”

She glared at him and then offered a playful smile. She nodded her thanks when Jerry pulled out a chair for her. “It looks wonderful,” Alexis said. She leaned close to the plate, examining the omelet. It was fluffy and filled with red pepper and mushrooms. The cheese he had mixed in seeped out where the omelet folded, bubbling and brown. Three strips of bacon, not too greasy, were lined up in a symmetrical row. He had prepared wheat toast exactly the way Alexis secretly liked; the middle was soggy with melted butter.

Jerry waited to dig into his food until Alexis had tasted hers. They ate in amiable silence. Jerry very suddenly remembered that he’d brewed coffee and left to fill two mugs. Even that, Alexis thought, tasted better than any other coffee she’d ever drank. Certainly better than her own.

“This is really very good,” she said.

“You sound surprised.”

Alexis shrugged and chewed the last bite of her toast. “I admit, I am surprised.”

“Like I said, I don’t know how to cook very many things, but what I do cook-”

“You cook well,” Alexis finished, eliciting a pleased smile from her dinner companion.

Jerry cleared the dishes and returned to catch Alexis in a yawn. “Now that your belly is full,” he asked, “are you ready to get some sleep?”

She ignored him and stood up, taking another sip of coffee. “I’d really like to wash my hair,” she told him, recalling how stringy and flat it had looked the last time she saw herself reflected in a mirror.

“I’ll sit here with the paper in case the phone rings.”

Alexis set her mug down. She headed toward the hall and stopped, turning back to Jerry. “Thank you,” she said.

“Not a problem. I’m behind on my reading.”

“No, I mean … really, thank you, Jerry.” Alexis lingered on the landing for some time before she turned down the hall.

The sincerity in her voice coupled with her tired, vulnerable eyes stirred something in him. He had never heard Alexis say his name that way, acknowledging goodness in him. Jerry barely recognized the feeling that overcame him then, left alone in her house, given the duty of waiting for a phone call about her injured daughter. Privileged was one word to describe it. Part of him wanted to rebel against the way he felt, but he rather enjoyed being trusted by her, being looked at and spoken to with gratitude.

As much as he loved being in the same room with her, Jerry almost hoped Alexis would crawl into her bed and succumb to her exhaustion. For her sake, he wanted her to rest. He sat on the couch, listening to the sounds of the shower running. When the water stopped and he didn’t hear any other noise for a while, he headed in the direction of her bedroom.

“Hi,” Alexis greeted him, coming around the corner in a pair of cotton pajama pants and a surprisingly sexy fitted black T-shirt.

“Uh, I was just checking on you.”

Alexis removed a towel from around her neck. “I’m fine. Did anyone call?”

He shook his head. When she brushed past him, Jerry smelled her clean hair and the lavender lotion she must have used. It left him dizzy and he took a moment to gather himself before following her back into the other room.

“Shall I warm your coffee?” he asked.

Alexis declined with a shake of her head. She sat down on the couch. “What are you watching?” she asked, amused.

Jerry sat beside her. “I don’t know. It’s the middle of the night. It was either some prolonged presentation of sharp knives or this,” he explained, referring to an episode of what was clearly a sitcom from the nineteen-eighties. “I believe that girl is actually a robot.”

“This looks like something Kristina would like,” Alexis said. “God, I wish she were here. I wish all my girls were here.”

Jerry instinctively put his arm around her shoulders. He wasn’t prepared for how well she fit in the crook of his arm, how her damp hair would feel soaking through his shirt. “I know,” he whispered. “Would it make you feel better if you called the hospital for an update?” Alexis nodded and he said, “I’ll get the phone.”

He had trouble finding the receiver. By the time Jerry returned to the couch, Alexis was leaning her head back against the cushion, her eyes closed. He set the phone on the coffee table and reclaimed his seat beside her, closer than before. He covered her sleeping form with a blanket and lowered the volume on the television.

A few minutes passed with Alexis breathing softly beside him. He was worried when she stirred, wanting her to sleep. Instead of waking, Alexis turned her body and then fell to the side, against him. She squirmed against his chest and then settled her head on his lap, curling her legs behind her.

Jerry was perfectly still. He could feel the gentle, warm puffs of Alexis’ breath through his jeans. He wasn’t able to relax until she stayed that way for ten minutes straight. He didn’t know where to put his hands. One rested comfortably at his side, and the other, he held gently against her back. He let himself sink into the cushions, his own eyes growing heavy with sleep. He had intended to give Alexis the safety and piece of mind to be able to rest her mind and body, and she had ended up giving it to him.

Alexis’ eyes fluttered open. She felt an awful stiffness in her neck and quickly realized she had fallen asleep on the couch. Her mind took its time calculating the exact circumstances. It all came to her in fragments – that her head was on Jerry’s lap, that her arm was hooked underneath his thigh and not a pillow, and that the back of her shirt had crawled up and his hand was touching the exposed flesh above the waistband of her pants.

She sat up abruptly, digging her knuckles into his thighs, startling him awake. Alexis knelt at the end of the couch, looking guilty.

“Good morning,” Jerry greeted her. His voice was rough, the timbre of a growl.

Alexis felt his eyes go to her exposed abdomen. She rolled the hem of her shirt down. Dragging a hand across her mouth, checking for both drool and morning breath, Alexis climbed off the sofa. “What time is it?”

“Early,” he said. “Not even seven o’clock.”

Her eyes darted around the room, searching for the phone. “Do you see the phone? Did we miss any calls?”

Jerry stood up. He grabbed the phone from the table and handed it to her. “Relax, Alexis. I’m sorry, but no one called.”

She walked backward in the direction of her bedroom, nearly tripping. She muttered something and dashed down the hall to brush her teeth, wash her face, and run a brush through her matted hair.

When Alexis returned, she could smell fresh brewing coffee. She followed the smell into the kitchen. Jerry was standing at the counter, his back to her. Over the sound of the drip and sizzle of the coffee pot, she heard him humming. He looked like he belonged there, bright against the hazy light filtering in through the curtains.

“Smells good,” Alexis said.

He turned around and smiled. “Are you hungry?”

She shook her head. She stepped further into the room and saw that he was slicing a banana and strawberries into a bowl. “Seriously, where is that coming from? I swear there was no food in this house.”

“I told you,” Jerry explained, maintaining a serious tone, “I broke into the neighbor’s.”

Alexis eyed him warily. She sidled up to the counter, leaning her hip against the edge. She was cold – her bare arms were freckled with goose bumps – but the brewing coffee and the closeness of Jerry’s lean body provided enough heat to ease the chill quickly.

“Your hair,” he said, setting the knife down to reach up and let a curl tangle around his index finger.

“Oh, God, right. It gets curly when I don’t blow it dry. It’s a mess.”

“No,” Jerry whispered, “I rather like it.” He let go of the strand coiled around his finger and tucked it behind her ear. His hand brushed her shoulder and down her arm when he pulled away; Alexis’ sharp intake of breath did not go unnoticed.

She lingered there, watching him slice the fruit. “I really don’t know where that came from,” she said.

Jerry picked up a large slice of strawberry. He touched Alexis’ lips with the cold, juicy flesh of the berry until she opened her mouth and drew it in with her tongue. “Magic,” he said.

Alexis licked her bottom lip. She felt very guilty in that moment for enjoying herself while Sam was confined to a hospital bed, her outlook as bleak as the winter landscape. Her shoulders sank, she dropped her head and pushed away from the counter. Jerry recognized the change in her demeanor and reached out, grabbing Alexis by the elbow.

“It’s going to be okay, Alexis. Sam will pull through.”

“I appreciate your attempt to be positive, Jerry, but don’t bother. You don’t know that. She-”

He held her in place and his other hand moved to grasp her shoulder. “But I do.”

“Why? How?”

“Because you deserve it. You’ve been through too much, Alexis, and you deserve your health and the health of your daughters.”

She was going to retort. Alexis was going to say how that way of thinking would be nice, but it’s not logical, not real. But Jerry drew her toward him, one arm around her waist and his other hand cupped the back of her head. She pressed her cheek to his chest, calmed by the rhythm of his heart. He held her firmly, rocking from side to side. His soothing embrace comforted and reassured her, quieted the negative thoughts racing through her mind.

Jerry bent his head and pressed a kiss to Alexis’ hair. She lifted her cheek from his chest, tilting back to meet his gaze. Her lips parted but the possibility of a kiss was disturbed by the ringing of the phone.

Alexis grabbed the receiver, saying hello before she had even turned it on. “This is Alexis Davis,” she said.

The nurse on the other line gave Alexis the news she had been waiting for: Sam was awake.

“Oh, thank you, I’ll be right there. Please tell her I am on my way,” Alexis cried.

“You go change,” Jerry said the moment she hung up. “I’ll warm the car.”

Alexis nodded. Her eyes were shining with fresh tears. She surprised Jerry by clasping her hands around his bristled face and leaving a quick but firm kiss at the corner of his mouth.

He let the car run and waited for Alexis on the porch. When she came out, bundled up, he announced, “It’s warm! Warmer. Can you believe it?”

Alexis did feel uncomfortable under the scratchy wool of her scarf. She tugged at it and Jerry helped unwind the material, stuffing it in her pocket for her. “Look,” she said. She reached out to where the nearest tree’s branches dripped water onto the ground. “It’s already starting to melt.”

“I told you it wasn’t so bad.”

She smiled at him. “Sometimes you do know what you’re talking about,” Alexis admitted. “Now, come on, hurry.”

Jerry started to warn Alexis to be careful but she turned and jogged off the porch. Her foot slipped on a patch of ice, but he was behind Alexis and caught her around the waist. He held her to him for a moment before easing her around to face him.

She was vulnerable in his arms – her knees bent, her chest pressed to his, her head tilted back and to the side. Knowing that Sam was awake, hearing the crackle of the ice melting on the trees, the glisten of a surprising warm sun, and Jerry holding her up – it all gave Alexis a sense of peace and possibility. “Thank you,” she said.

“Is it safe to let go?” Jerry asked.

Alexis shook her head. “Not yet.” She grabbed handfuls of his coat, lifting herself, putting her face level with his. His arms secure around her, she felt there was not a space between their bodies. Alexis’ lips were a teasing distance from his, not quite touching but close enough that he smelled the clean mint of her toothpaste. She tipped her head forward enough to close the gap and Jerry opened his mouth against hers. The kiss was slow at first, tantalizing and deep. But Alexis had somewhere to be and she surprised Jerry with her intensity, pushing her hips forward and drawing his bottom lip between her teeth as she pulled away with the promise of more to come.

“Now,” she said, and he shifted to her side, holding his hand at the small of her back in case she slipped and fell.

Jerry helped Alexis into the car. They drove in silence, electricity in the air between them, pushing against the confines of the car. The world around them thawed. They drove through puddles, dodged falling icicles, and squinted against the glare of the sun. All the while, Alexis’ hand covered Jerry’s on the seat between them, keeping them connected.