Smash into You
by Jess

I walked into the PCPD feeling tired, angry, and depressed. I couldn’t believe it -
Jerry was indeed dead. The medical examiner had reviewed the body and
confirmed what she feared would be. I walked to check my mailbox all I could
think about was why after all the time I had spent with Jerry, why on earth hadn’t I told him how much I truly cared for him, hell how much I loved him. To everyone else we had been together for officially one year. Everyone had thought that Jerry and I were only mere sex buddies, but little did the people of Port Charles it was way more than that.

“Alexis, can I talk to you for a minute," Mac asked, walking toward me.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Before you go in there, I just want you to really think about what is going on
here. I’m not telling you how to do your job, nor am I trying to get revenge on
what happened to Maxie, but Alexi,s if you let this go and let Jason walk because Diane is your friend, the war is only going to get worse. Please don’t let Jason
walk.”

With that, he turned and walked away. How did this man have the gall to address me about how I do my job, when I have done it for well over a few years?

“Alexis?”

I looked up startled and thrown off my original train of thought by my newest and now dearest friend Diane.

“Hi ...”

“Look, I know with everything that’s going on between Sam and the mob, and with Jerry being dead, let’s just ...”

“Oh well, yes Diane, please by all means just disregard how feel about the man I
lo-- care about and stick that knife deep in me, why don’t you,” I said, angry at the fact that Diane would be so harsh with her words when she knew I would be going through a tough time. I knew she didn’t like him but it still didn’t ease the pain.

“Alexis, I’m sorry darling, really ...”

That word, darling, he used to call me that every time he saw me, every time we
made love, and sometimes just to make me feel better. I felt the tears running
down my eyes and tried to wipe them before they became too much. But it was
too late. Diane saw my tears and reached in her bag for a tissue and sat me in the chair.

Head down as I watch my feet take turns hitting the ground.
Eyes shut I find myself in love racing the Earth
And I'm soaked in your love ,oh
And love was right in my path, in my grasp
And me and you, belong

“Alexis, I’m sorry. I completely forgot about that word,” Diane said as she realized why I was balling like a baby who just got their favorite toy taking away.

“No, it’s me. I shouldn’t have came to work and I’m a mess.” Realizing that I had to get out of the PCPD before I really started losing it, I said, “Umm. .. call ADA Morgan and have her take this case I’m going home.”

I wanna run(run)and smash into you
I wanna run(run)and smash into you

“Alexis … Alexis wait!” was all I heard as I quickly walked out of the PCPD and
straight to my car.

When I got into my car and locked the door, and put my head on the steering
wheel I couldn’t help but let the tears fall, it was finally sinking in Jerry was gone, and never coming back. As I sat up wiping the tears away, I remembered when I found out about Jerry. There was no one there to console me, of course because no one wanted me with him anyway. Jax, my supposed best friend didn’t even make an effort to call me and I couldn’t bring myself to call him. I didn’t want to listen to what anyone had to say about Jerry leaving me, because I knew what they didn’t, he loved me and would never leave me or the girls. But here I am, in my car crying my eyes out because the man I loved is gone.

Ears closed...what I hear no one else has to know.
'cause I know in what we have is worth first place in gold
And I'm soaked in your love,
And love was right in my path, in my grasp
And me and you, belong

“Why me?” I said aloud banging on the steering wheel. And that’s when I decided it was time to get some away from the this place and this car that held so many memories of us. I left my car and walked to the pier.

As I sat on the bench for what felt like an hour, I wasn’t quite sure because of the tears that were clouding my eyes, but I swear I saw something move out the corner of my eye.

“Who’s there?” I asked loudly, as I reached in my bag for the pepper spray Jerry
had given me when things got bad around port Charles.

“I said who’s there, show yourself”

The shadowed figure showed his face and I lost all control of my body. I couldn’t
believe who was standing 10 feet in front of me. I dropped my purse and ran then jumped in his arms.

I wanna run(run)and smash into you
I wanna run(run)and smash into you
Smash into you

“Darling … I’m so sorry”

“Jerry … is it really you? Oh my god, I thought you were dead!” I said as he slowly put me down. I couldn’t believe it and just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming I decided to test it, I leaned in and I kissed him. It was so real and I couldn’t stop wanting more as I raised my hands to his neck to tighten the kiss.

Head down as I watch my feet take turns hitting the ground
Eyes shut, I'm in love and I'm racing the Earth
And I'm soaked in your love ,oh
And love is right in my path ,in my grasp
And me and you, belong

“Darling, as much as I would like to stay here and kiss your beautiful face, I’m
afraid we have to go, it is not safe for me to be seen here with you, but I couldn’t help myself seeing you cry and no one here to console you.”

“Jerry … why … why wouldn’t you tell me I’m-I’m” I said starting to cry all over again, but this time HE was here to console me even though he was the one to hurt me.

“Darling, I couldn’t risk hurting you or the girls. I’ll make this promise to you
though, once everything with this mob war is over I will come back, I promised
that I would love you till death do us part and I will keep that forever.”

We both jumped when we heard what sounded like voice coming.

“I have to go, darling. I love you and kiss the girls for me. I will be back, I promise.” He kissed me once more quickly and then left. I watched him leave and said, “I love you too”

“Till death do us part, Jerry”, I said to myself as I grabbed my purse. “I will always run and smash into you”

Oh, I wanna run and smash into you
I'm willing to run, smash into you
I'm willing to run and run and run and run
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
I'm ready to run and run and run and run
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
I wanna run(run)
Smash into you
I'm willing to run(run)
Smash into you

(“Smash into you” by beyonce)