Returning to a Friend
by Cowgirl

Part 30

Alexis looked at her reflection in the mirror and touched her hair. Sonny was due there any minute for his nightly visit with his daughter ... and with her. It had taken therapy and many, many months of small visits at first, gradually increasing until Sonny showing up on her doorstep was a daily ritual. One that she found she couldn't deny him ... or herself. They had come so far and it was almost as if they were to the point that they were before everything went sour between them. Alexis was happy ... for the first time in a long time, barring winning back full custody of her daughter, that she felt light hearted and happy. She jumped as she heard the all too familiar knock at her door followed by the door opening.

"Alexis?" Sonny called from the living room.

"I'm just getting Kristina up, I'll be right out," she answered as she moved to the nursery to retrieve their daughter.

Alexis entered the living room with Kristina on her hip. The child lit up instantly at the sight of her daddy. Alexis smiled. "Look who's here," she said playfully as she handed Kristina to Sonny.

Sonny nuzzled the child's cheek with his own. "Hey there's my girl," he cooed as he walked over to the couch and sat down with her. He looked up at Alexis. "She keeps getting bigger every time I see her."

Alexis nodded. "I know."

Alexis leaned against the doorframe and watched as Sonny played with their daughter. A warm feeling rushed through her as she observed him. When he was around Kristina he became that gentle, caring, very reachable man that he had been when she had fallen ... she shook her head vigorously trying to place thoughts of loving Sonny to the back of her mind. Sonny looked up noticing her movement. "What’s wrong?" he asked as he continued to play with Kristina.

Alexis thought quickly. "I was just chastising myself for forgetting that I have some paperwork to prepare for filing tomorrow." She tilted her head at him. "Would you mind staying around and watching her for a while so I can get that done?"

Sonny smiled and kissed his daughter's forehead. "Spend more time with my pumpkin here? You don't have to ask me twice," he said, not taking his eyes off of his little girl.

Alexis forced a smile and pointed behind her. "I'll just be in there if you need me."

Sonny nodded and cast a quick glance her way. She was lying. There was something bothering her and he knew it probably had to do with him. He watched her as she walked down the hallway towards her office, stopping once. She stood for just a few seconds with her head down and her shoulders slumped. He kept watching as she lifted her head, straightened herself up and walked quickly the remaining few steps to her room, entering it and shutting the door behind her. His eyes traveled downward toward the bottom of the door where after several minutes he saw no light peeking out from under it. She was lying. Something was definitely bothering her and Sonny furrowed his brow trying to remember if he might have said or done something to upset her.

Almost an hour later Sonny stood in the nursery over his daughter's crib. They had played and bonded for a while after Alexis had left the room, but eventually Kristina's need to sleep superceded her urge to play with daddy and she drifted off in his arms. Sonny changed her and put her down, standing over her for a while watching as she slumbered. He found himself smiling as the little girl sucked in one corner of her tiny pink lips. She looked exactly like her mother at that moment. Sonny closed his eyes and breathed deeply at the thought of where he was right now ... standing in his baby daughter's room in Alexis' house. Six months ago if someone had told him he'd be there he would have laughed and reminded them of how much Alexis hated him. He opened his eyes and rubbed them. She didn't hate him, he thought. Maybe she did when things first started going bad, but not now, and he was more thankful for that than for anything else in his life. He glanced down at his sleeping angel once more ... well, almost anything. He smiled, touching her forehead. He turned and made his way out of the nursery stopping at Alexis' door. Still no sign of any light in the room and no sounds of papers shuffling, or Alexis pacing the room while she worked. He took a deep breath and gently rapped on the door. The silence in the little house was almost deafening as he waited for Alexis to answer him. Cautiously Sonny turned the handle and opened the door a crack. "Alexis," he called softly. "Alexis honey I'm going to come in." He forewarned her then stepped into the room. It was dark. It was dark except for the moonlight filtering in from outside her window. Sonny could see her silhouette on the bed, her knees drawn up to her chest. He heard her inhale and hold her breath as he entered the room. "Lex," he said as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "What did I do?"

Alexis released the breath she was holding. "Nothing," she said quietly. "You didn't do anything."

"Then why did you ditch out on me and Kristina and hide in here?"

"I didn't ditch ... I told you I had work to get done."

Sonny inched up onto the bed until he was sitting next to her, his back propped up against the headboard. "Lex ... I saw that there were no lights on in the room. You have bat vision now or something?"

He heard her chuckle softly in the dark. "I ... I just wanted to give you and Kristina some time alone ... that's all."

"Why didn't you answer when I knocked?"

She shifted her position and Sonny could faintly see her face in the moonlight, it cast a soft orange tint to her skin. "I don’t know."

"Didn't you want to see me tonight?" he asked suddenly.

"I ... I always want to see you Sonny ... I."

Sonny sighed. "I thought that you and I were doing pretty good on this friendship thing."

She nodded. "We are."

"Then what is it Alexis? There is something bothering you tonight and don't bother lying about it because I know you like a book."

Alexis rocked her body forward a bit. "I'm scared Sonny."

"Scared of what?"

She tilted her head upwards. "I'm scared of ... I'm afraid of everything falling apart."

Sonny was confused. "Of what falling apart?"

She held up her hands. "This ... us ... Kristina. I've been hurting for so long and now I'm getting my life back on track and I just don't want to see it fall apart again."

Sonny cautiously moved his arm and took her hand in his. "What makes you think that something is going to fall apart? Did something happen?"

Alexis stood and moved over to the window, the expression on her face clearly visible now. She looked nervous ... and she'd been crying. "Nothing happened. It's just ... " She squeezed her eyes shut. "Everything in life happens in circles right? What goes around comes around." She opened her eyes and moved around the darkened room. "I'm afraid now that everything is right again that the tide is going to turn."

"Alexis, things don't always have to go in circles. Sometimes people get off track with their lives and I think that's what you did ... it's what I did ... but we both took steps to make that better." He stood and moved to Alexis' dark form, standing inches from her. "I think we took the right steps this time and I think we're going to be okay. Don't you see Alexis, everything is different now."

"Don't you see Sonny that it's not? With the exception of Kristina I'm back where I've started. I'm virtually alone. Ned and I are mortal enemies once again, Jax loves me, but he's pretty disappointed in the way I handled everything and ... " she stopped.

Sonny waited a few seconds knowing the next had something to do with him. "And what Alexis?" he asked softly.

"And I'm back to being in love with a man that I can never have." She stepped around him and moved to the other side of the room, leaning on her dresser. "A man I don't even know if I can trust ever again ... a man that I should have never fallen for in the first place because we're total opposites and it stinks Sonny. It stinks because it feels as miserable as it did the first time and I don't want to feel like this again."

Sonny moved to her and held her shoulders loosely in his grip. He brought his forehead to hers and squeezed his eyes shut as he fought the emotions that were coursing through his body right at that moment.

For several minutes the two of them stood, forehead to forehead, both breathing deeply, both fighting their feelings. Finally Sonny pulled his head from hers and gently found her lips with his. Adrenaline rushed through him as his skin made contact with hers for the first time in what seemed an entire lifetime. His mind raced with questions of what he should do next. He didn't have to wait long for the answer as Alexis' hands found his face, her fingers splaying out across his cheeks. He leaned his head into one of her hands and relished her touch. His hand found its way up to her neck, cupping it ever so gently, his thumb stroking the underside of her chin and then across her lips. He heard her sigh as she moved her hands to his chest finding the buttons of his shirt. He placed his hands over hers and halted her movements. "Lex, are you sure this is what you want?"

"I want you Sonny," came her reply. "I've never stopped wanting you and tonight ... tonight if you want me too ... "

She never finished as Sonny's mouth crashed down around hers, two pairs of hands scrambling to undress the form that stood in front of them. Sonny caught her fingers with his, intertwining them as he backed her toward the bed, stopping when they reached it and lowering them both down onto it, never breaking contact with her mouth.

As he lay on top of her, their skin melding together, their bodies moving as one, Sonny thought back to the night when they had first made love. The night he realized how much he had come to love Alexis Davis. The night he should have told her and never did. His heart pumped wildly in his chest as he tried to communicate with his actions how much he had missed her ... his heart feeling things he never thought possible. He had thought that the first time they made love that he couldn't possibly experience so much emotion ... this time was more. This time he knew he loved her and that she loved him although neither one had vocalized it.

Sonny halted his movements momentarily and brought his face as close to hers as possible. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you Lex."

"Oh God Sonny I love you too."

Nothing else was said as the two finished dancing with one another as only the two of them could. Afterwards, Sonny cradled Alexis in his arms, stroking her hair, her arms, her back ... touching her as if he might possibly never touch her again until they both drifted off to the sound of the other's breathing.

part 31