Returning to a Friend
by Cowgirl

Part 21

Alexis walked slowly and casually through the park, wheeling Kristina in front of her in her carriage. The warm sunshine and the slight breeze that swirled in the air gave her a feeling of complete freedom. A feeling that she hadn't felt in ages, not that she could remember anyway. She smiled to herself as pure joy coursed through her body. Kristina was with her and no one could take her away ... except Sonny if he chose to try. She hadn't spoken to him or seen him since he had burst in on her session with Cameron.

She headed to a park bench and sat down on it, pulling Kristina's buggy close to her. She gazed down at the sleeping infant and smiled. Leaning back against the bench she thought about Sonny. He would want to meet Kristina, he would want to be in her life and now that Alexis had opened the can of worms, she needed to decide just how to cook and eat them. Her heart slowed to a lethargic thump as she tried to imagine what would happen from this point forward. Sonny would be in her life again, like it or not. Carly would be in her life. She bit her lip as she struggled to rationalize her decision to tell Sonny. Lost in thought, Alexis didn't hear the approaching footsteps. She jumped slightly at the sound of someone clearing their throat. She looked up to see Sonny standing about ten feet away, shoulders sagging, eyes intense and unreadable. The man she once knew now hidden behind tired eyes and a dark beard. She instinctively cast a protective glance at Kristina and stood up, putting herself between the baby and Sonny.

Sonny twitched nervously a couple of time as if he wanted to speak, but stood where he was. Alexis blew out a rush of air through pursed lips. "Would ... " She cleared her throat. "Would you like to meet her?"

Sonny nodded and cautiously moved forward as Alexis stepped aside offering him a view of the buggy.

Sonny approached and rested both hands on the edge of the buggy. With a couple of deep breaths he looked down and tears immediately sprung to his eyes. He closed them briefly and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

Kristina, as if sensing a new presence, opened her eyes and looked up, a tiny gurgle escaping her lips. Sonny sucked in another breath and let it out shakily. "May I ... "

"Of course," Alexis said as she moved to Kristina and lifted her out of the buggy, gingerly handing her over to her father.

Sonny took the infant in his arms and brought her to his face, rubbing his nose against hers. "She's beautiful," he said breathlessly.

"She is, isn't she," Alexis stated.

Sonny nodded. "So perfect," he whispered as he gazed down on his first born child. He bent his head and nuzzled the child again, the tickles of his beard on her tiny face bringing an outburst of giggles from the child. Sonny smiled and looked at Alexis who was smiling back. Sonny placed Kristina gently back into the carriage and moved a stuffed animal closer to her. He sat down on the bench and looked to Alexis whose expression had grown unsure. "What happens now?" he asked.

Alexis felt a shudder go through her body as she remembered the time when she had asked him the same question.

She sucked in her lower lip momentarily and released it. "I don't know," she said in a whisper.

Sonny nodded and let his eyes wander over to his daughter who was happily content discovering her own toes. "I want to be a part of her life."

Alexis sighed and sank down on the bench several feet away from him, placing her hands in her lap. "I want you to be part of her life."

"How do we work this out?"

Alexis shrugged. "I can have my lawyer contact yours and we can see what we can come up with."

Sonny let out a chuckle and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He ran his hands over his face and then sat up straight. "We're talking to each other through lawyers now?" he asked wearily.

"Do you have another solution?"

"Yeah, how about we talk to each other ... like we used to." He wiped at his chin. "We used to be able to work things out all the time."

Alexis lowered her head. "Things are different now."

"They don't have to be."

Alexis was silent for a moment as she thought about what he was trying to say ... that he wanted them to be a part of one another's lives again.

Sonny looked straight ahead waiting for a reaction from her ... she stayed silent. "Lex?" he asked.

Alexis looked at him. Hearing him call her by the name he used to call her when they were friends was unnerving.

She held up her hands. "I don't know ... how should we do this ... I mean I have no idea."

"I just want to see her. I want us to try and work together and raise her together."

"We have issues Sonny and we need to resolve ... or at least try to make sense of them before we can even think about raising a child together."

Sonny suddenly felt defensive. "So what? I should stay away?"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "That's not what I'm saying."

"Then what are you saying, Alexis?" He stood up and jammed his hands into his pockets. "See ... this is what caused us problems before. You not telling me what you're thinking ... me not telling you what I'm thinking ... "

"You treating me like the local whore."

Sonny wheeled around. "When did I ever ... "

"When you took me to your bed and left me the very next day."

"I had to look for Carly."

"I know that."

"Then what's the point of saying that. You know that night was about more than me needing to 'scratch an itch' as you put it."

"Was it?"

"How can you ask that?"

"Because you have always counted on me to be there when you needed me ... when every other option was exhausted. That night was no different. I was exactly what I told you I wouldn't be ... your consolation prize."

He threw out a frustrated hand. "I thought Carly was dead. Was I not supposed to feel anything about that?"

Alexis cast a glance at Kristina and then stood up. "Of course you were. I never said you weren't." She looked away. "But I thought you'd at least be concerned for what I was going for at that time." She looked back to him. "It was like the minute there was another Carly crisis you forgot that I even existed." She paused to reign in her emotions. "I mean I'm not so selfish that I expected you not to go insane with the thought of Carly possibly being dead, but I felt guilty too. Then I didn't ... I mean we didn't do anything wrong ... she walked into the situation of her own accord." She sank down on the bench and buried her face in her hand. She blew out a couple of breaths. "I mean we had just slept together and that meant something to me."

Sonny looked at her. "It meant something to me too."

There was a silence as the two of them contemplated what to say next. Finally Sonny walked to the bench and sat down. "Look ... I have this idea about how we can start to try and fix some of this."

Alexis sat up straight. "Okay."

"You're going to think it's dumb."

"Try me."

Sonny nodded. "Okay, what if ... what if we agree to let me come see Kristina let's say ... once a week for right now." He raised a hand. "I mean with you there of course."

"I think that will be all right."

"There's more," he stated nervously as he ran a hand through his hair.

Alexis waited for him to continue.

He cleared his throat. "Ah ... maybe you and I can have a couple of sessions together with Cameron. You know, maybe he can make sense of how we got into this mess and how to fix it."

Alexis turned her head and looked at Sonny. She swallowed hard as a familiar sensation spirited its way through her. This man sitting next to her ... underneath the beard, the tired eyes and the nerves ... this man sounded a little like the friend she once knew and loved, the loveable mobster who had wormed his way into her life and into her heart.

She smiled.

Sonny raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Alexis shook her head. "Nothing, it's just ... I think that's a good idea."

For the first time in an entire year, Sonny leveled the dimples at her and Alexis almost burst into tears at the sight of it. He smiled and tilted his head. "You're just surprised that I would suggest something like that."

Alexis laughed. "Yes, I am. It's ... unsettling considering we couldn't even be in the same room not so long ago."

Sonny looked down and then back up to her. "I know ... and I don't want it to be like that ever again."

"Me neither."

"I'm sorry I burst into you session like a maniac. I'm sorry I yelled and screamed."

Alexis smiled. "Sonny, if you and I are going to try and work things out," she looked at him from the corner of her eye, "then I think yelling and screaming is going to be a fairly common occurrence."

Sonny stood up and moved to his daughter, looking down at her. "Yeah, but I think it’s all going to be worth it in the end." He bent down and kissed his little girl on the head. "Until next time sweetheart." He looked back to Alexis. "I'll call you."

"Okay."

"Okay." He smiled and gave a little wave as he headed out of the park.

part 22