Returning to a Friend
by Cowgirl

Part 11

Sonny sat in the green fabric covered chair and rung his hands in his lap. This was his second visit to Dr. Cameron Lewis and he wasn't any more comfortable with it this time. He sniffed and rubbed a hand across his mouth as he waited for Dr. Lewis. He was just about to get up and leave when the door opened and Dr. Lewis scurried into the office with an armload of files. Sonny stood and leveled a gaze at him. "I don't like to be kept waiting doc," he said curtly.

Dr. Lewis raised an eyebrow and continued his journey to his desk, dropping the files he carried on top of them. When he had deposited them safely on the desk's surface, he turned and leaned on the edge of his desk, squinting
at Sonny. "I believe that the wall plaque outside my office says Dr. Cameron Lewis."

Sonny shrugged. "Yeah, so?"

"Well, Mr. Corinthos, I put a lot of money and years of schooling into earning the title of doctor." He spread his hands. "Now, I realize some of my patients are uncomfortable with calling me doctor. I have no problem with that. If you are one of those people, you can call me Cameron." He looked at his watch. "I'm ten minutes late and I do apologize Mr. Corinthos, but I had a patient who needed extra attention. If that upsets you we can reschedule ... but if you'd like to stay maybe we can talk about this tendency towards acting as if everyone works for you and jumps when you say boo." He finished his lecture and folded his arms across his chest waiting for Sonny's response.

Sonny ran his hand down the back of his head and stretched his neck to the side. His first instinct was to knock the good doctor upside the head and leave, but then he remembered how excited Alexis had been that he was getting help. He sighed and sat down in the chair. "Okay, let's talk then." Cameron nodded and moved around his desk to sit in his chair. He dug through his stack of files and pulled out the one marked Corinthos, Michael. "So, Mr. Corinthos ... "

"You can call me Sonny."

"Okay, Sonny. Last week we talked about your current state and a very little bit about how you were able to control it in the past." He put down the file and looked at the dark man across from him. "Why don't we go back a little. When did you first start having depression of any kind?"

Sonny rubbed a finger across his brow and closed one eye as he thought. "When I was a kid I guess."

Cameron jotted something down on a pad of paper and looked up. "Tell me about your childhood."

Sonny sighed and stretched his mouth into a straight line, chewing on his lip. "My dad, Mike, left when I was young. My mom remarried this guy Deke."

Sonny took a deep breath and looked at his lap. "He ... he used to beat her up ... you know ... a lot."

Cameron watched Sonny intensely as his defensive body language changed and became fidgety. "Were you around for the beatings?"

Sonny winced and brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah ... most of the time."

"What did you do while they were going on?"

"I ... at first I would try to stop him ... you know ... but I was too little ... I was only eight ... I couldn't overpower Deke."

Cameron wrote the word overpower on his notepad and looked back to Sonny.

"Did Deke strike you?"

Sonny swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah ... sometimes. He usually ... he would usually lock me in the closet though."

"Did you fight back when he hit you?"

Sonny lowered his head taking another deep breath. "I tried at first. See ... he had this rule. If I brought my hands up while he was "punishing" me ... it got worse. So I just had to stand there and take it."

"That's a lot for a little boy to take."

Sonny nodded.

"How long did this abuse last?"

Sonny shrugged. "Until Deke died."

Cameron stilled his note taking and looked up at the alleged criminal sitting across from him. "When did Deke die?"

"He died when I was about sixteen. I had left home by then. I would sneak over and see my mom when he was at work." Sonny laughed sarcastically and looked at Cameron. "He was a cop."

Cameron jotted that down on his pad and circled it. 'Perhaps a reason why Sonny disregards the law.' He thought to himself. "You were on your own at sixteen?"

Sonny nodded. "Yeah. I lived with a family ... my best friend Lois Cerullo's family. They took good care of me."

"Were you in school?"

"Nah, I usually cut school and eventually dropped out. That's when I started working for Joe Scully."

Cameron raised an eyebrow. "Joe Scully?"

Sonny shifted in his seat. "Yeah ... " he said uncomfortably. "He was in ... you know."

"The mob."

Sonny nodded silently.

"So you became involved with the mafia back then?"

Again Sonny couldn't make himself say the words out loud. He gave a nod of his head.

Cameron laid his pen down. "What became of your mother?" He watched as a somber expression crossed over Sonny's face and his shoulders slumped.

"She died shortly after Deke did."

"Did you have anything to do with Deke's death?"

Sonny licked his lips and looked at the doctor as if sizing him up, studying him. Finally he leaned forward in his chair. "You like, you can't say anything about what I tell you in here right?"

Cameron nodded affirmation of this. "I can't, it's doctor patient confidentiality. I can only say something if you tell me you intend to do harm."

Sonny breathed and sat back in the chair once again, crossing his leg. "I told Joe Scully about what was happening to my mother and me. One night he tells me to go somewhere and be seen ... you know." He held out his hand. "Next thing I hear, Deke is found shot to death in an alley."

Cameron opened Sonny's file and glanced through it briefly before looking back to his patient. "I see here that you are a pretty successful business man Mr. Corinthos ... casinos ... hotels ... a coffee importing business."

Sonny smirked a bit. "All those are legit too ... if that's what you're wondering." He uncrossed his leg and planted both feet solidly on the floor. "I scratched and crawled my way up. I'm not proud of all the ways I had to do it ... but that's just it. I had to do it."

"Why do you feel that you had to do it? There were no other options?"

Sonny thought about this for a moment. "Look ... I was a poor kid from Bensenhurst with no family after my mother died ... I had no idea where Mike was. Joe Scully took me in and showed me how to make money ... fast. I was
sixteen, I didn't care where it was coming from."

Cameron folded his hands on his desk and took a deep breath. "Can you tell me more about these bouts of despair you have?"

Sonny nodded and looked at his lap, his hands gesturing in the air. "It's like ... I get overwhelmed. Like the other day ... this friend of mine came to visit me." He shifted in his seat, choosing his words carefully. "While this friend was there I was really in a good mood you know?" He coughed and changed positions again. "When this person left ... the minute they walked out the door I felt ... alone ... like dark, darkness was closing in all around me and my head began to pound."

Cameron jotted down the word friend and circled it several times. Sonny cleared his throat and continued. "For a couple of hours I sat in a chair trying to breathe right." He smiled a little at the thought of how many times he had told Alexis to breathe and now it was him who had trouble with oxygen lately.

Cameron scratched at his beard and squinted, trying to read the very complex man in front of him. "Mr. Corinthos ... "

"Sonny."

"Sonny." The doctor corrected himself. "It's apparent that you do not wish to talk about this friend of yours for what ever the reason is, but I can't help but notice how often you bring this person up. Obviously this person is of great importance to you."

Sonny's head dropped down to his chest for a full minute before he brought it up again. "Like I said, it's too painful to talk about."

"Well isn't that why you're here? To talk about the pain and deal with it?"

Sonny loosened his tie and stood up. "I'm here to deal with my depression."

Cameron nodded. "You don't think this friend has something to do with your depression?"

Sonny sighed heavily, his frustration with this man growing by the second. "Did I say that she had anything to do with it?" he yelled.

Cameron stood up and placed his hands on his hips. "Yelling will get us nowhere, and I'm paid to read between the lines. Did this friend hurt you in some way?"

Sonny's teeth ground furiously against one another as he fought to control his temper, which was building rapidly. He took several deep breaths. "I never said that." He focused his glare at the doctor. "What don't you get about the fact that I don't want to talk about this person?"

Cameron stole a glance at his watch. "It would appear our time is up Sonny."

Sonny nodded as relief washed over him.

Cameron moved to his desk and opened it, removing a small pad and scribbling on it. He tore the top sheet off and offered it to Sonny. "Sonny, what you keep experiencing is manic depression. Actually you're a textbook case of it."

Sonny shifted his eyes around the room nervously.

Cameron picked up on the man's obvious discomfort with this diagnosis. "It's nothing at all to be embarrassed about and it certainly does not render one weak. Approximately sixteen million people in the United States alone suffer
from depression in one form or another in any given year." He handed the slip of paper to Sonny.

Sonny looked at the paper. "What's this?"

"It's a prescription for medication that can help."

Sonny crumpled the paper in his fist. "I don't take drugs."

Cameron smiled. "You say that like I'm asking you to try cocaine. Really, it's mild and it will help you deal with your feelings."

"Thanks but no thanks. I need to be sharp at all times doc." He pointed a finger. "One time that I let my guard down and I could be dead. Drugs just increase those odds."

Cameron raised an eyebrow. "And letting your depression take control of you until it's too late doesn't?"

Sonny couldn't argue with the man, especially after thinking about the weeks spent moping through his penthouse, or just lying nearly comatose on his couch. He shook the hand that held the prescription. "I'll think about it."

Cameron nodded. "All right, that's fair I suppose. Next time we meet I'd like you to pick a subject to talk about. Something that's bothering you, something that makes you feel good ... whatever."

Sonny ran a hand over his head. "Okay, I can do that."

Cameron walked over to the door and opened it. "I'll see you next week."