Returning to a Friend
by Cowgirl

Part 9

Sonny squirmed in the green upholstered chair, crossing his legs and uncrossing them. He glanced at his watch and over to the door a few times. Finally he heard the sound of the doorknob turning and in walked Dr. Cameron Lewis. Sonny stood up but the doctor motioned for him to sit as he walked to his desk, dropping an armload of files on it. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting Mr. Corinthos," he said as he sat down and folded his hands across the desk. "Staff meeting ran a little long this morning." He watched as the mobster nodded his head, his eyes never leaving him. Cameron pulled out a manila file folder with the name Sonny Corinthos on it. He opened it and pulled out the blank legal pad that sat inside. He looked back at the Armani clad man sitting before him and couldn't help but feel a little uneasy at the man's unblinking stare. "So, Mr. Corinthos ... it seems you're having a problem with some sort of depression?"

Sonny crossed his legs again and stared at the bearded man across from him. He folded his hands in his lap and sniffed. "Look doc, I know what I'm supposed to do here ... but I'm not good at this sort of thing. I promised my friend that I would see you." He waved a hand. "I don't know what good it will do."

Dr. Lewis jotted down a note and returned his attention to Sonny. "This friend who you promised to see me ... would you like to talk about this person?"

"No," came the swift, curt reply.

"Any particular reason?"

The mobster chuckled. "Do I need one?" he asked spreading his hands out.

"We can talk about whatever it is you would like to talk about."

Sonny stood and walked over to the window, stopping and cramming his hands in the pockets of his creased pants.

"Is this how this works? I mean ... you ask me what I want to talk about ... I tell you ... you analyze it and tell me what's wrong with me?"

"In laymen's terms ... yes."

Sonny nodded his head. "I don't talk to people very well." He sighed and looked back out the window. "Not about these kinds of things anyway."

Cameron stood up and moved around to the front of his desk, sitting on the edge of it. "Why don't you tell me how long you've had these bouts with depression," he encouraged.

Sonny turned from the window and ran a hand through his hair, shrugging his shoulders. "Forever it seems." He shook his head. "I'll be fine ... perfectly normal for a long long time and then bam ... it hits out of nowhere and I can usually pull myself out of it."

"But not this time?"

Another shake of the head. "It doesn't look that way ... I mean ... it’s been happening more frequently you know?"

"What happens during these depressions?"

"I get ... you know ... sometimes so angry I could hit walls." He moved his hands. "Other times I want to cry ... I ... I do cry," he stammered.

"What usually works to bring you out of it?"

Sonny ran a hand across his jaw and shrugged again. "When I was younger ... it would just pass. A few years ago ... my wife ... Carly ... she could talk to me ... "

"But not now?"

Sonny lowered his head almost feeling guilty for what he was about to say. "No. She hasn’t been able to help me with this for the past couple of years." He turned from the window and looked at the doctor. "We actually were apart the last couple of years ... up until about ten or so months ago."

"How did you get through your depressions when you were away from her those two years?"

Sonny almost smiled, but stopped himself. "Honestly? Right after we broke up last time ... I remember one time when the depression came and took over me." He moved to the chair he had previously occupied and sat down. "I actually sat in my living room and shot up a mirror with a gun because I kept seeing her face in it." He rubbed his jaw again.

Cameron crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the man before him. "And what was it that pulled you out of it that time ... if it wasn't your wife ... estranged wife at the time."

Sonny looked at the floor around his feet. He knew the answer, he just didn't want to say it out loud. "Her," he said, barely audibly.

Cameron raised an eyebrow. "Her?"

Sonny closed his eyes, his tongue darting out and running over his upper lip in frustration. "She was my best friend."

Cameron stood and moved back behind his desk sitting down. He reached for his pen and jotted down the words best friend on the notepad followed by the word woman then the name Alexis with a question mark after it. "Is this the friend you didn't want to talk about earlier?"

Sonny nodded, his eyes still closed.

"May I ask why you don't want to talk about her?"

Sonny took a deep breath and finally opened his eyes to look at the doctor. "Because I let her get away and it hurts too much to talk about her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alexis stepped off of the elevator and walked straight up to Max. "He's in, I assume?"

The large bodyguard shook his head. "Yes Miss Davis, he's waiting for you."

Alexis patted the man on the shoulder. "Thanks Max," she said cheerily and reached for the door handle.

"Miss Davis?" Max called quietly before she could get the door open.

She turned. "Yes?"

The bodyguard shifted his weight nervously. "I ... he's been a little better lately since you've been coming around."

Alexis nodded and headed inside.

Sonny rushed from the kitchen into the living room when he heard the sound of his front door opening. He took one look at Alexis and smiled. "Hey," he said, flicking his head at her.

He couldn't help but notice her smile grow wider. "Hey yourself." She dropped her purse and coat on a chair and made her way into the living room. "So?" she asked tentatively. "Did you go to your appointment?"

Sonny nodded and rolled his eyes. "Yes mom, I did."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Did it go ... all right?"

Sonny wagged his head from side to side. "It went," he said matter of factly.

Alexis raised her eyebrows. "It went?"

Sonny chuckled. "Yeah, it went. The guy's a little too Shakespearean for me, but I guess he's all right."

Alexis sat on the couch and crossed her legs. "He certainly tells it like it is."

Sonny nodded again and studied Alexis. "Has he really done you any good?"

Alexis tilted her head and looked up at him. "He has. I really believe that."

Sonny sniffed and sat down beside Alexis. "It's weird for me you know ... to tell a complete stranger personal things."

He shifted in his seat so he was facing Alexis. He held her eyes for several minutes before continuing. "I'll give it a try."

Alexis smiled. "That's all I ask." She bit down on her lip. "You know your wife really wants to see you."

Sonny's back went rigid. "Not right now."

"Sonny, she and Michael are your family."

Alexis didn't miss the slight wince Sonny gave when she said that.

"I know what Carly and Michael are." He stood up. "I don't want to talk about them right now."

"Sonny, you can't ignore your wife, she's frantic with worry about you."

Sonny turned and pointed a finger in Alexis' direction. "I'll see her when I'm ready to see her."

Alexis turned her head away from Sonny and sighed. "Fine," she said, standing up and heading to the door.

"Where are you going?" Sonny asked.

She stopped and turned her head to him. "I'm going home. I think ... maybe we shouldn't see too much of each other right now."

"So what? You come in here ... get me into therapy and walk out on me again?"

Alexis spun around. "Walk out on ... no Sonny. It's great that you and I are talking again, but there's a lot of things that we need to resolve before we can pick up our friendship ... and we both have way too many issues that need to be solved before we can even graze the surface of us," she said, gesturing between them.

Sonny squinted and licked his lower lip. "So you're not going to come over here anymore?"

Alexis looked at the floor for a second before returning her gaze to Sonny. "That's not it at all," she said softly as she approached him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I'm thrilled that you and I are finding our way back to ... to our friendship. I've missed it, but we can't jump right in to what we were to one another before ... it wouldn't be right ... it wouldn't help either of us. You need to lean on your wife and your family. I will always be there for you anytime you think you need me."

Sonny reached up and stroked her face with his hand. He had no idea why he did it, he just felt the need to reach over and touch her. He let out a soft chuckle. "You need a spacer ... I get it."

Alexis smiled. "Yeah, I need a spacer." She patted his hand. "I'll call you later."

"Make sure you do."

"Call your wife."

"Mind your own business."

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Sonny shut the door and leaned up against it, letting his head drop back. Why was his heart going wild? What was happening to him? He closed his eyes as the familiar sinking feeling clenched his chest. His breathing grew rapid as he blinked hard, trying to block out the panic that was rising inside of him. He leaned a hand against his desk and pulled himself over to it, dropping into his leather desk chair. "Lex?" he called out hoping to catch her before she got onto the elevator. "Alexis!" he yelled out louder.

The door opened and Max stuck his head in. "Sir?" he inquired.

Sonny brought both hands to his head and applied pressure on either side of his aching skull. It was happening again. "Stop Alexis," he said panting heavily.

"Sir, she's already on the elevator ... should I have someone stop her downstairs?"

Sonny waved his hand behind him. "No."

Max stepped tentatively into the penthouse. "Boss, are you ... "

"Get the hell out and close the damn door!" Sonny yelled and his minion sprang into action, exiting the penthouse quickly.

Max took up his position outside the door, his brow creased with worry. The boss was having another one of his attacks. This one looked like a bad one too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alexis approached Kelly's and looked around. Seeing no sign of Carly, she glanced at her watch and sat down at one of the outdoor tables. She waited another five minutes before the blonde woman approached and plopped down into a chair across from her.

"You're late," Alexis snapped.

"Yeah ... and?" Carly asked with a bored expression.

Alexis took a deep breath. "The point is Carly that I am on a schedule now. I have a certain time I can see my daughter, I have appointments with my shrink ... so if you want my help with your husband ... be on time."

Carly rolled her eyes and sat back in the chair. "Fine. How's Sonny? Does he want to see me yet?"

Alexis brought her hand up and scratched her eyebrow. "He's ... he was better yesterday when I went to see him. He showered and we had lunch from the Grille. He wasn't extremely talkative, but he was at least responsive."

"What about me? When can I go and see him?"

"I told him you were worried and wanted to see him," Alexis replied.

"And?"

"And he doesn't want to see you or Michael yet."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because he's not ready yet Carly. He doesn't want his family to see him like this."

Carly slowly let out a frustrated breath of air. "Well, how long is it going to take for him to get over this?"

Alexis shrugged. "Who knows, Carly. Depression is not something you "get over". Sonny has agreed to see my psychiatrist, Dr. Lewis."

Carly's eyes grew wide. "Why the hell would he do that?"

"Because he realizes that he may need help with this problem."

Carly's fists curled into little balls. "Sonny is the strongest man I know. He doesn't need therapy."

Alexis sighed. "Carly, try to understand. Everything can't be conducive to your wants and needs. Sure, you miss your husband, but he needs help right now. Everyone needs help from time to time, and Sonny has been through so much in his life it's a wonder he hasn't cracked long before now."

Carly rocked forward in her chair. Sitting here talking to the one woman in the world that she disliked the most, the woman who almost took her husband, the woman whom her husband had a whole different kind of respect and admiration for, even when they were at odds, the woman, Carly suspected, that was still very much in Sonny's heart, was making her blood boil. Alexis had access to Sonny that Carly would never have and the fact that she had to go to her for help was killing her. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "This is just making your day, isn't it?"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "What is Carly?"

"The fact that you can go to Sonny any time you want and he responds to you. Always you ... from the very start of mine and Sonny's relationship you were always there. He listens to you like nobody else."

Alexis leaned forward on the table. "Look Carly. I warned you. You came to me ... you asked for my help. I had completely shut myself off from Sonny and you asked me to come back, so don't pull this jealousy act with me."

Carly huffed. "Oh please. I am so not jealous of you."

Alexis stood up. "I have to go. If you want my help Carly, then you better watch your tongue."

Carly stood up and moved in front of her. "Or what Alexis? You going to walk away from him?" She raised an eyebrow. "I don't think you'll do that."

"And what makes you so sure of that?"

Carly let out a small laugh. "Because you're still in love with my husband."

Alexis ignored the imaginary dagger that pierced her heart when Carly uttered her venomous words. It was the truth, she did still love Sonny and probably would until the day she died, but she would never admit that ... especially not to this viper. She waved her hand. "I'll get in touch with you if anything new happens ... until then just stay out of my way," she said contritely and then walked away.

part 10