Returning to a Friend
by Cowgirl

part 4

Alexis went home and took a steaming hot shower. She let the hot water flow over her body as she concentrated on her earlier conversation with Cameron. She had never talked to anyone about the pain that she experienced when Sonny went back to Carly. She had never openly and honestly admitted that she had loved and that she still did love Sonny. It made her heart lurch in her chest even thinking about it. She still loved Sonny. She closed her eyes and tried to expel the thought from her mind.

After ordering a meal from the local take out place, Alexis sat and thought about how she could reach Sonny right now. She used to be so good at it. It came natural to her to be able to read his thoughts and emotions, but not anymore. Now she had no idea how to get through to him. She went to her room and threw on a pair of jeans and a baggy sweater, capping off her outfit with a pair of worn tennis shoes.

She would have to do what Cameron suggested and keep talking to him until he broke down and communicated with her. He couldn't ignore her forever.

She drove to Harbor View Towers and took the elevator to Sonny's floor. As usual, Max was standing at his post. Alexis smiled at him. "Don't you ever get bored standing out here?"

Max nodded his head. "All the time." He gestured at the Sonny's door. "Are you going in?"

Alexis nodded. "Yes, and I'm going to keep going in until I get through to him or he throws me out the door himself ... either way, I'm going to get a reaction out of him."

"Listen Ms. Davis. He's been ... not right for a little while." The large bodyguard shifted from one foot to the other nervously. "If he gets ... you know ... violent or anything, you just shout and I'll be in there in a heartbeat."

Alexis patted the man's arm. "Thank you Max. I'll be all right."

She opened the door and quietly entered the penthouse. It was still shrouded in darkness, and judging from the crunching under her feet, it was still a mess. She felt along the wall and hit the light switch. The room was once again illuminated and confirmed that she was correct. The place was still a disaster area. Her eyes wandered to the couch and found Sonny sitting in almost the exact same position she had left him in the day before. She went to the coffee table and cleared a spot to sit down on. She was facing him and he appeared to be staring right through her. She tilted her head thoughtfully to the side as she surveyed his physical features.

"Sonny?" she said softly. He made no move to respond. "Sonny I know that you and I have not gotten along lately, but I want to help you. We used to be a pretty good team." She gingerly lifted her hand and put it on his knee and he recoiled immediately. She took a deep breath. "I know you're in there Corinthos. I know you're stronger than this. The Sonny I knew would never succumb to these feelings."

She paused for a moment and watched his face for a response. "Sonny ... Sonny I'm worried about you. I know I said a lot of things to you lately that weren't very nice ... but the truth is I still care what happens to you. I'm not going to let you do this to yourself ... to your wife ... to your best friend ... to me."

Sonny's eyes slowly moved and landed on her face, but there was nothing in them. Alexis looked long and hard for the spark she used to see behind his beautiful eyes, but it was gone. She stood up and placed her hands on her hips. "So this is it? Sonny's world gets a little complicated and he shuts down." She moved from in front of him and gestured around the room. "This is how you're going to spend the rest of your days? Sitting on that couch all slumped over, amidst the rubble that was once your penthouse and drink yourself to death?"

His eyes followed her around the room, but he made no move to answer her. She shook her head and let out a grunt of frustration. "Fine," she said, thoroughly annoyed with him. She stormed into the kitchen and ransacked through a couple of drawers until she found what she was looking for. She returned to the living room and stood in front of Sonny. "Here ... take this!" she yelled at him, brandishing a large kitchen knife. "Do it Sonny ... put us all out of our misery. You want to die so bad? Well then be a man and do it. Don't make all of the people who love you stand around and watch you slowly die. Be the big man you always acted like and just end it yourself."

Sonny was looking at her, but still made no move to react. Alexis stared at his eyes and thought she noticed just a trace of life in them. Alexis continued her tirade. "You want me to do it Sonny? Then you can die a martyr." She held up her hands. "Crazy Alexis murders mob boss Sonny Corinthos in his own home." She leaned down closer to him and violently grabbed one of his hands, forcing the knife into it. "Show me what a big man you are Sonny. Show me how tough you are like you did that day when I was hooked up to a fetal monitor and you threatened to break me." She pushed his hand away from her and it flopped back into his lap. She stood upright and looked down at him. "That's what I thought. Not as fierce and brave as you have always tried to make yourself out to be." She turned away from him trying to decide what to do next when she heard movement from behind her. She whirled around to find Sonny standing up, breathing in a ragged rhythm, the knife poised at his own throat so hard that she could see the indentation forming on his skin.

Her first reaction was fear. God, what if he did do it ... this wasn't what she wanted to accomplish. She had wanted him to react to her, to argue with her, to tell her off like he used to try and do. She took a deep breath and forced herself to appear calm. "Well ... he lives," she let out sarcastically. "So you could hear me." She looked at his eyes, which were now full of fire. "You going to do it Sonny? Brave mobster man is going to kill himself instead of straightening the hell out and getting back to his responsibilities?"

Sonny's breathing grew more rapid and intense as he looked at her wildly. They were barely two feet away from one another. Alexis was about to continue when Sonny suddenly reached out, grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her backwards until she was up against the fireplace. Alexis involuntarily let out a sharp yelp as he had grabbed her. The door to the penthouse flew open and Max charged in. "Ms. Davis?" he asked as his eyes took in the scene in front of him. "Boss ... let her go."

Alexis held up a hand. "It's all right Max."

The bewildered bodyguard stood his ground. "Like hell it is."

"Max, I'm fine. Just leave us alone ... he won't hurt me," Alexis answered him, her eyes never leaving Sonny's.

"You sure?"

Alexis nodded slowly. "Go on Max ... it will be okay."

Max slowly backed out of the room and shut the door.

"You won't hurt me, will you Sonny," she said, her voice unsure if that was really
true. "You won't hurt me because you don't hate me as much as you would like me to think ... and for the record ... I may have been extremely angry with you as of late, but I never hated you either Sonny."

She held her breath as Sonny took a step back from her, dropping his hands from her shoulders, letting the knife hit the floor.

Alexis glanced at the discarded weapon and let out a huge puff of air. She softened her expression. "I could never hate you Sonny."

He stood staring at her, his hands hanging down at his sides; his head slumped to the side like he didn't have the energy to hold it up.

Alexis carefully moved forward, just a step, and cautiously put a hand on his shoulder, thankful when he didn't resist her touch. "I have to go now Sonny. I have an appointment I have to keep ... but I'll be back," she spoke softly. "I'm going to help you no matter what it takes ... I'm here for you." She took a deep breath and moved to the door of the penthouse feeling guilty about leaving him after what just happened, but her appointment with Dr. Lewis was mandatory and she needed to go. She turned once more and looked at Sonny who was still standing where she had left him. "I'll be back Sonny. I promise ... soon," she assured him. She watched him stand motionless for a few seconds before quietly opening the door and exiting the penthouse.

Sonny waited until he heard the click of the door closing to turn around, his mind a jumble of thoughts and emotions. He had almost hurt Alexis. Would he have hurt her, he asked himself. Suddenly a feeling of overwhelming sadness swept through him and he moved to the couch, collapsing on it, pulling his legs up until he was in the fetal position. He fought valiantly as tears stung his eyes, he fought to not let himself give into this overwhelming feeling, and he fought not to cry ... but in the end he lost. He wept like a small child as the thought of being alone overtook him again.

part 5