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Returning
to a Friend
by Cowgirl
Part
3
Alexis
fully intended to drive back to her apartment and continue her brainstorming
over how to get her life back on track, but found herself in the
parking tower of General Hospital. She sat in her car with her now
empty coffee cup in her hands.
"Why
am I here?" she asked herself as she slowly got out of the
car and headed into the building.
She
made her way down the corridor and stopped when she came to a door,
reading the nameplate. Cameron Lewis. She raised her hand and gave
a gentle knock.
"Come
in," came the husky voice from inside.
She
turned the handle and entered the office.
Cameron
looked up and arched an eyebrow. "Alexis. I didn't think we
were meeting until later this week," he said as he searched
for his appointment book.
Alexis
entered the room. "We don't. I ... I needed to talk."
Cameron
waved her to a chair. "Well, you're most certainly always welcomed,"
he folded his hands on his desk and gave her his full attention.
"What can I do for you?"
Alexis
took a seat in a faded green chair opposite his desk and looked
at her lap.
"Someone
I used to care about very deeply is in trouble."
Cameron
tilted his head. "And you want to help?"
Alexis
sighed and threw up her hands. "Lord knows why, but yes."
Cameron
nodded. "Don't you think you have enough on your plate without
taking on someone else's troubles Alexis?"
Alexis
wrung her hands for a minute and then met his gaze. "Yes. Like
I said I don't know why I would possibly want to help this person
... " She stood up and began pacing back and forth. "But
when it comes to this person I'm always torn."
"Is
this person in legal trouble?" he asked cautiously.
Alexis
shook her head. "Not currently. No, this person ... it's complicated."
Cameron
furrowed his brow and studied Alexis for a moment. "You said
someone you used to care about."
Alexis
stopped her pacing and looked at him. "We haven't exactly been
on the best of terms lately."
He
shrugged. "So why help ... this person ... does this person
have a name?"
Alexis
averted her eyes. "I'd rather not get into that right this
minute." She made her way back to the chair and sat down. She
sat silently for a moment, taking several deep breaths. "The
person is Kristina's father."
Cameron
raised his chin. "I see. Old feelings die hard?"
She
snapped her head up. "I don't know what I feel for him."
She rubbed her temple. "So much has happened since ... since
Kristina was conceived and at one point I really thought I hated
him." She stood up and paced again. "I blamed him for
so many things, but as time went on ... " she shook her head.
"I don't know anymore. All I know is that he's in trouble and
I want to help him."
Cameron
stood up and moved around to the front of his desk, leaning against
the edge of it, he folded his arms across his chest. "Can you
tell me a little bit about him?"
Alexis
stopped her pacing and hugged her arms around herself. "He's
... he's a very dark man. He's a dark man with a complicated and
dangerous life with more enemies than you can shake a stick at,
and it's usually the people around him who get caught in the crossfire."
She hugged herself tighter and walked over to the window in Cameron's
office. "I've had my life in jeopardy more than once because
of him." She turned back to Cameron and dropped her arms down
to her side. "Do you see why I don't want him to know about
Kristina?" She moved closer to him. "My sister died partly
because of him, and if anyone knows he's Kristina's father then
... well, I'm not putting a target on my little girl's head for
the rest of her life."
Cameron
listened intently nodding his head. "It does make sense Alexis."
He held up a hand. "But don't you think the father has a right
to be in his child's life?"
Alexis
shook her head. "Don't you hear what I'm saying? The man almost
cost me my own life twice and I was just his .. ." She stopped
short of saying the word attorney. She shook her head again. "No.
I won't give him the opportunity to ruin Kristina's life too."
Cameron's
eyebrow went up. "Is that what he did Alexis? Ruined your life?"
Alexis
looked up as if she hadn't heard him. "What?" she asked,
looking confused.
"You
said that you won't let him ruin Kristina's life too. Were you inferring
that he ruined your life?"
Alexis
got quiet for a moment. "He didn't ruin my life. He made it
very complicated at times, but he didn't ruin it."
Cameron
pushed himself away from the desk and moved to the couch against
the wall, taking a seat. When he was settled, he looked at Alexis
earnestly. "Did you love Kristina's father?"
Alexis
started to pace again, but faltered and stopped. She chewed nervously
on the corner of her bottom lip. Rubbing her hand across her mouth,
she sighed. I don't know if I ever figured it out." She started
her trek back and forth across the office once more. "I mean,
how do you know you're in love with someone really? Do you just
say I love this person and that's it?" She stopped and looked
at Cameron.
"Alexis,
surely you've been in love before. You were in love with Ned at
one time weren't you?"
Alexis
nodded. "At one time. I still love him ... just not in that
way."
Cameron
tapped absently on the arm of the couch. "Then your answer
to my question was an avoidance tactic ... " he waved his hand.
"What is love? How do you know when you're in it? It's a simple
question. Did you love Kristina's father?"
Alexis
felt her chest constricting. She moved to the couch and flopped
down on the other end across from Cameron. She stretched her neck
a couple of times, finally rolling her head to the side to look
at Cameron. "I had feelings for him. I wasn't supposed to.
I mean think about it. I realize that you don't know me all that
well, but do I really seem like the type to fall for someone like
the man I described?"
There
was a silence in the room as they both mulled over her question.
"You mean the human kind of person?" Cameron finally asked.
"We've all heard the old adage you don't pick who you fall
in love with. I believe it's relatively true."
Alexis
waved her hand. "I wasn't supposed to have feelings for this
man. I wasn't supposed to become his friend or let him become mine."
She closed her eyes.
"Maybe
you weren't supposed to fall into his bed and conceive his child
either Alexis, but you did. Why?"
Alexis
snapped her head up and looked at him.
Cameron
continued. "You don't appear to me to be the type of woman
who delights in one night stands ... especially with someone who
you say was a friend. So why did you?"
Alexis'
head fell onto her chest. "Because I fell in love with him,"
she said quietly.
She
leaned forward, bent in half at the waste, putting her head into
her hands and wept.
She
felt Cameron's hand on her shoulder and sat up straight taking a
deep breath. "I didn't mean to fall in love with him."
She shook her head. "It was the furthest thing from my mind."
She stood up and started walking. "We somehow became friends
and spent more and more time together. He could be so gentle when
he wanted to be. He could be caring and sweet. We had fun he and
I ... sometimes."
"But
this dark and dangerous part of his life didn't bother you then?"
Alexis
turned and looked at Cameron. "I guess not. I mean there were
times when I had to bail him out of trouble or talk him out of doing
something reprehensible ... but that didn't bother me ... not until
I became pregnant. Then it wasn't about me, it was about my child."
She pointed to herself. "I could deal with his lifestyle, I
could protect myself ... but a child shouldn't have to."
"You
said you had to bail him out of trouble ... talk him out of doing
reprehensible things ... "
Alexis
moved to the chair that she had first occupied and sat down, her
back now towards Cameron. "He's ... some people call him a
criminal," she stated bluntly.
Cameron's
eyes widened in surprise. "A criminal? What would make you
get involved ... " It suddenly dawned on him. "Kristina's
father was a client of yours."
Alexis
nodded her head. "Yes, he was also my neighbor across the hall,
my landlord and my confidant. I started out representing him. You
see, even though he's been accused of things, he's never been convicted
of anything. When I agreed to represent him it was because the PCPD
had a nasty little habit of violating his civil rights every chance
they got. I have no tolerance for that. I believe that everyone
has certain unalienable rights." She turned her head slightly.
"At one time I did have morals."
"When
did you start sleeping with him?"
Alexis'
back went rigid. "I didn't sleep with him ... I mean I did,
but only once, and it was two years after we became friends."
"What
made you take that final leap between friendship and ... well ...
sex?"
Alexis
sighed. "I guess it was inevitable. There was always a tension
between us ... flirtations." She made a gesture with her hands.
"Things between us ... when they were good, they were very
good. When they were bad ... then things were very volatile. One
night we had an argument over something that he was going to do
... and ... it happened."
"What
happened after that?"
"Too
much to talk about right now. He was still in love with his ex-wife
for one thing."
"He
slept with you when he was still in love with his ex?"
Another
sigh heaved from Alexis' shoulders. "In short."
"And
you still love him and that hurts," Cameron said bluntly.
Alexis
turned in her chair to face him. "It's not that. I mean ...
I could deal with the fact that he didn't feel the same way."
She stood and went back to the couch taking a seat next to Cameron.
"I think what hurts the most is that he knew I loved him. Kristina,
my sister Kristina, blurted it out to him one day and she told me
about it later. She had a habit of blurting things out."
"Did
you tell Kristina you were in love with him?"
Alexis
shook her head. "No. Kristina was always trying to get me to
open up ... share my feelings. I'm not that kind of person. I'm
private with my thoughts and feelings. One day she goaded me about
my feelings and I got so mad that I just blurted out that she was
angry because I was in love with a man she couldn't stand."
She squeezed her eyes shut. "Anyway, he knew I had feelings
for him and he became more flirtatious. He sent me flowers on Valentine's
Day, we went to Puerto Rico on business and one night he made me
go out with him and have fun, and I did. He knew my innermost thoughts
and fears. We told one another about our horrible childhoods and
we bonded over it. I thought that I could trust him. I thought I
knew him."
"And
when the opportunity arose he went back to his wife."
Alexis
sat up straight. "How did you know that?"
"It's
not an uncommon story."
"Don't
you see, it took everything that I had to trust this man the way
I did? I never trusted anyone completely ... but I did him."
"And
you gave yourself to him."
Alexis
nodded and stood up once more. "I don't understand what's happening
to me Cameron. I used to be so sure of myself. I used to be so damn
in control and now I've lost everything." She paced the room.
"How in the world could I let things get so out of control,
how could someone as intelligent as I am let this happen to her
... " she closed her eyes. "How could I ever get involved
with a man like Sonny?" Alexis' eyes burst open wide at the
realization that she had said his name. She looked to Cameron who
looked something just shy of incredulous.
He
stood up slowly. "Sonny Corinthos is the father of your child?"
Alexis
put her hand to her forehead. "Sonny Corinthos is the father
of my child." She looked at him carefully. "Pretty clever
of me huh?"
Cameron
managed to wipe the shocked look off of his face. "Well, I
can see where you would want to keep Kristina safe from him."
He looked away for a second and then swung his gaze back to her.
"The Sonny Corinthos?"
Alexis
glared at him. "Do you know another one?"
He
rubbed his jaw and let out a puff of air. "Wow little lady.
When you get yourself into trouble, you get in good and deep, don't
you?"
Alexis
narrowed her eyes. "Is this something that you say to all your
patients or am I special?"
Cameron
held out his hands. "No, no, I'm sorry. It's just that ...
I can't picture the conversation we just had being about Sonny Corinthos."
Alexis
waved her hand. "Well, get over it ... it's true."
"And
you feel an obligation to help him once more?"
Alexis
sank back into her chair. "Yes, I do," she said quietly.
"He ... has a tendency to go into these depressions. In the
past I have always been able to help him out of it. Carly, his wife,
begged me the other day to go and talk to him, that she's tried
and gotten nowhere." She shrugged. "So I went." She
stopped and collected her thoughts. "He was in the worst shape
that I've ever seen him in. He wouldn't talk ... at all. I'm worried
about him Cameron. If he doesn't pull himself out of this ... his
enemies will get him very easily ... if he doesn't just waste away
before even that happens." She turned her gaze to Cameron and
he could see the desperation in her eyes. "What do I do?"
Cameron
tapped a finger on his temple for a moment and thought this through.
"Are you sure you want to get involved Alexis?"
Alexis
nodded slowly. "I still love him Cameron, and even though it's
quite evident that he and I will never be together, I want to try
and help him. I can't just turn my back on him."
"Okay,
is there a possibility that you can get him to come in and see me?"
Alexis
laughed. "Not even at gun point."
"Well,
then, you have to just keep talking to him. Don't let up, make him
hear what you're saying." He stood up and walked to Alexis,
bending down so that he was eye level with her. "Alexis, I
know that our sessions are for all purposes a mockery until the
courts let me convince them that you're better and award you your
daughter again, but I want you to be careful with this. You've had
a hell of a year from what I can fathom and I don't want anything
to happen to you."
Alexis
nodded. "I'll be careful." She stood up and pulled her
purse strap over her shoulder, walking to the door. "Thank
you Cameron."
He
nodded and lifted his hand to wave. "Anytime."
Alexis
pulled the door open but stopped and turned around giving Cameron
a weak smile. "Does this mean I don't have to show for our
regularly scheduled appointment this week?"
Cameron
emphatically wagged his had from side to side. "It means nothing
of the sort. Be here when you're supposed to."
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