Losing Balance
by Lionel

chapter 31

Almost blinded by her frustration and fury, Alexis left the conference room and walked angrily down the hall to the ladies room. Standing in a phone cubby in the hall, Lorenzo saw her walk by. After one glimpse of her distraught face, Lorenzo abruptly ended his call and followed her.

Before Lorenzo was able to catch up or get her attention, Alexis entered the ladies room and the door shut behind her. Lorenzo hesitated for a moment at the closed door, the entrance to a kind of inner sanctum and the one line that civilization has taught men not to cross. Alexis's first heartrending sob reached his ears, and Lorenzo crossed that line without another thought.

On the other side of the door, Lorenzo found a formal lounge area, and around the corner the restroom facilities and Alexis leaning over a sink. Her back was to him, but he could see her shoulders shaking with her sobs. The painful sounds echoed hollowly off the tile.

Lorenzo approached and touched Alexis gently on the shoulder. She flinched, and after a moment slowly raised her head to look in the mirror over the sink. When she saw that it was Lorenzo behind her, a glimmer of gratitude passed over her strained face. Her sad eyes met the reflection of his, soft with compassion and concern. She sighed painfully and dropped her shoulders in what Lorenzo hoped was relief. Her face still wet with new tears, but her body no longer wracked by sobs, Alexis let go of the sink and stood up straight.

For a moment Alexis just looked at Lorenzo in the mirror, her raw wounds still written across her face and her breathing rough. Finally she turned around to face him, wiping the tears away from her cheeks with the palms of her hands. He stepped forward without a word and wrapped his arms tightly around her, hugging her close to him. He buried his face in her hair and rocked her gently from side to side, murmuring his heartfelt apology over and over. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Alexis let Lorenzo comfort her, pressing her face to his chest and wrapping her own arms around his waist. The warmth of his body washed over her and soothed the pain she felt inside, smoothing out her troubled thoughts and replacing them with something simpler.

"To hell with all of them, Alexis," Lorenzo whispered, his face nuzzling her hair. "We're going to take down Helena, and then they can all go to hell. You'll never have to put up with that again."

Swaying softly, Lorenzo placed sweet kisses on top of Alexis's head again and again, but it wasn't enough. Alexis needed more. The fuse was lit on her fury and lust, and she pulled Lorenzo tighter to her and tipped her head up, seeking him out. Her burning cheek rubbed against the prickly soft skin of his jaw, and his kisses moved down, traveling from her hair to her temple to her cheek, and finally to her lips. Her hungry mouth found his and turned his sweet kisses passionate. She kissed him hard, her tongue pressing into him, nipping and pulling at his lips, as if she could somehow take him inside her and make his power and certainty her own.

Alexis's hands moved under Lorenzo's suit jacket and tugged at his shirt, untucking it from his pants. She ran her hands up his back to his shoulders, savoring muscle under hot skin and pulling him ever closer to her. Lorenzo tried to pull away, to speak, to inject some reason, but then Alexis trailed her fingers down his back, her nails raking his skin, and he was lost, too.

Her hands slid inside the waistline of his pants, finding his hips and pulling him harder to her. Lorenzo groaned. Still returning her fierce kisses, he picked Alexis up by the waist. Her legs wrapped around him and she grabbed his shoulders for support as he carried her to the lounge area and set her down on a sofa.

Lorenzo knelt over Alexis and paused, breathing heavily, trying to decide what to do next. He couldn't think. He wanted everything at once. Where to begin? Her neck. Her neck. He'd been thinking about her neck for days, ever since the ospreys and that blasted hawk. He slid her suit jacket off her shoulder and pulled aside the collar of her silk blouse, baring the tender skin he wanted. He lowered his mouth to her neck greedily, and his lips and tongue traveled gently down her neck and along her collarbone.

He was too slow, too gentle. Alexis was impatient, and she yanked open his shirt, lifted her head and found bare skin of her own, sinking her teeth into the meaty flesh where his neck and shoulder met. Lorenzo understood, and he abandoned his gentle exploration. His mouth found hers again, and they renewed their mutually devouring assault.

Lorenzo's right hand moved roughly down to her knee, then up under her skirt, sliding smoothly up her silky stocking until his hand found the bare skin of her upper thigh. His thumb brushed carelessly against her, and he felt her body convulse. He realized his mistake too late, and all he could do was hold her tight as the spasms shook her. Alexis's face was buried against his neck, and when she could breathe again he heard a muffled laugh. He pulled back from Alexis and smiled gently, taking in her slightly bashful smile and exhilarated flush. He gave her a soft kiss. "Maybe this is a good opportunity for you to reconsider," he offered.

Alexis shook her head. "Lock the door," she said in a raspy voice, swallowing hard.

Lorenzo got off the sofa and looked around. The door had no lock, but something had to be done, so he began pushing a chest of drawers across the lounge to use as a barrier. He was halfway there when the door to the ladies room opened and Monica appeared.

Monica froze in place at the incomprehensible scene in front of her: Lorenzo Alcazar, with his shirt untucked, was trying to block the door, while Alexis lay on the sofa with her suit in disarray and her hair ransacked and tears staining her face. Apart from the tears and the fact that they hated one another, they looked like two people about to have sex. Rejecting that conclusion as too absurd, Monica's next thought was that Alexis was in danger. "Are you okay, Alexis?" Monica asked, standing in the open door.

Alexis nodded nervously, sitting up and trying to straighten out her clothes. "Yes. Please close the door," she pleaded.

Monica eyed Lorenzo warily. He was silent and still, but not menacing. She turned her attention back to the sofa. Alexis looked panicked and frightened, but not of Lorenzo. She looked guilty. Monica stepped all the way into the ladies room and closed the door. "Jax is in the hallway," she explained to Alexis. "He asked me to check on you."

Alexis rubbed her hands over her eyes. "Oh, god," she groaned miserably. "Could you please tell him I'm okay? And that I'll be out in a few minutes?"

Monica nodded reluctantly. "Sure." With a last worried look at Lorenzo, she turned around and left.

After the door closed behind Monica, Alexis buried her head on her lap while Lorenzo pushed the chest of drawers back into place and tucked in his shirt. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," Alexis muttered. "I am a terrible, terrible person."

Lorenzo sat down on the sofa next to Alexis and kissed the back of her head. "No, you're not. You try harder than anyone I know to do the right thing."

Alexis shook her head. "Obviously I need to try harder. I may have ruined everything. What if Monica is out there right now telling everyone what she saw?"

"She's not," Lorenzo said with calm confidence. "Not yet. She's not sure what she saw. Most people won't drop a bombshell like that unless they're sure."

Alexis scowled at him. "I'm glad you can be so cool and analytical about this."

Lorenzo shrugged. "I'm not so cool," he said, with a slight smirk.

They both jumped as the door to the ladies room opened again and Monica appeared. "Jax went back into the meeting," she said to Alexis. "I told him you would be out in a few minutes."

"Thank you, Monica," Alexis managed, despair still clouding her face.

Monica nodded and looked at Lorenzo. "There's no one in the hallway right now, Mr. Alcazar," she said pointedly.

Lorenzo turned to Alexis, and she gestured toward the door with her head. "Go. I'll be okay."

Lorenzo squeezed Alexis's hand and stood. "You should head home. I'll take care of the rest of the meeting myself." Alexis nodded weakly, and Lorenzo left.

After the door closed behind Lorenzo, Monica turned to leave as well, but the distress she saw on Alexis's face made her stop. Though she and Alexis had never been close, they did share a kind of mutual respect, and Monica had rarely seen Alexis at such a loss. "May I sit down?" Monica asked. Alexis nodded tightly, and Monica took a seat on the sofa. "Is Lorenzo Alcazar forcing you to do something you don't want to do?"

Alexis laughed sadly and shook her head. "No. It would be convenient to blame him, but I'm afraid I'm entirely responsible for what happened here. He's a friend, actually, strange as that sounds. Thank you, by the way, for getting him out of here discreetly."

Monica nodded. "You're welcome. I have more experience than I'd like to admit at hiding illicit affairs."

Alexis visibly squirmed. "I'm not having an affair with Lorenzo Alcazar." Monica raised an eyebrow skeptically. "I'm really not. Today was an aberration." Even as she said the words, Alexis knew they were a lie. She sighed in disgust at herself. "You're not going to say anything?" she asked hopefully.

Monica shook her head. "No, I won't say anything."

"Thank you. Because it's just a really complicated situation."

Monica started to stand, then sat back down. "I don't mean to intrude, Alexis." Alexis smiled, knowing that those words were always followed by an intrusion. "And I'm not passing judgment," Monica continued. "But I know a thing or two about dangerous attractions. I know how seductive temptation can be. But I also know how quickly your life can unravel. Sometimes all you can see is how wonderful it will feel to give in to temptation, and you forget that there will be consequences. But all it takes is one false step, and everything can just slip away."

Alexis bit her lip to keep the tears from flowing again.

"You should know that Edward has not given up on Kristina," Monica warned. "He's furious with Ned for giving up his claim, and he's probably in there right now on the phone with the judge. And it's pretty obvious how Ned feels about Alcazar. I'm not saying I agree with them, but I think you need to think about what could happen, and just ask yourself whether it's worth it."

Alexis squeezed her eyes tight and nodded. "I know."

Monica stood up and walked to the door, wondering if Alexis would follow her advice any better than she herself ever had. The door closed behind Monica, and Alexis was alone again. She walked back to the sink, plugged the drain and turned the cold water on full blast. When the sink was full, she plunged her face down into its soothing ice.

chapter 32