Losing Balance
by Lionel

chapter 23

After speaking briefly to Luke, Lorenzo came back into the office and sat down on the couch next to Alexis. His right hand brushed her left knee inadvertently as he took his seat, and they both jumped slightly at the touch, their eyes drawn to the seared point of contact. Alexis laughed slightly at her own reaction, and she heard Lorenzo do the same. Turning her head to look at him over her left shoulder, she caught the corner of his eye, and they shared a grin. For the moment at least, they had found a way to be amused, not tormented, by their stubborn attraction, and it was a happy relief.

"Luke said he'll just be another minute or two," Lorenzo reported, still smiling at Alexis.

"Great." Alexis turned sideways on the couch to face Lorenzo and pulled her legs up to her side. She rested her left arm on the back of the couch and leaned her head against it. This neverending day was beginning to catch up to her. It had begun with Helena's rude awakening at six, and now it was almost two in the morning.

"Are you sure you want to talk about this tonight?" Lorenzo asked. She looked like an angel to him, absolutely breathtaking, resting almost languidly against the couch.

Alexis moved her head up and down slowly in confirmation. "Mm-hmm," she murmured. "I need to know if I'm filing papers this afternoon."

Even in her utter weariness, every movement of her body, every posture, was graceful and effortlessly sexy. If he couldn't have all of her, Lorenzo thought he might survive if he could at least hold her in his arms, feel her head against his chest, and help her find a restful peace. He twisted to face her on the couch and almost extended his arm to offer himself as a pillow, then thought better of it. The offer might well frighten Alexis away, or at least lead to another test of virtue, and in either case it would disrupt the balance of the delicate détente they had reached. Instead he brushed a strand of hair off her cheek.

"Are you really okay with including Luke in this?" Lorenzo asked. "You said you don't trust him. Did you mean it?"

Alexis shrugged and lifted her head up to look at Lorenzo. "I trust what I know about Luke. We are friends, of a sort, as odd as I find that. He hates Helena, and I know he feels genuine sympathy, maybe even affection, for me. I know that, all other things being equal, he will be there for me when I need him. But I also know that if it came down to any kind of choice between protecting his family and helping me, he would slit my throat himself."

"Do you think it could ever come down to that?" Lorenzo asked, one eye on the door.

Alexis frowned, considering the question. "It's possible, I guess. A lot of blood has been spilled between Spencers and Cassadines over the years, not to mention poison and illicit pharmaceuticals. Luke has been fighting the Cassadines in this war of attrition for as long as I can remember. I've tried to stay on the fringes, and I've even worked with Luke against Helena. But I'm still a Cassadine. And when there are no other Cassadines left to fight against, I'm not sure what use Luke will have for me."

"For what it's worth," Lorenzo said, "I think he's genuinely fond of you. And quite protective."

Alexis groaned. "Please tell me he didn't talk to you about me." At Lorenzo's telling silence, she squeezed her eyes and shook her head in embarrassment.

Lorenzo tried not to smile. "Briefly," he finally admitted.

"Well, don't tell him I said so, but I'm kind of fond of him, too," Alexis confessed. "And I think it would be shortsighted not to take advantage of his help. Luke is talented. He's devious and creative and resourceful. And he's brave bordering on foolhardy. I used to think his neverending battle against the Cassadines was pathetic, an effort doomed to fail against a better equipped enemy. But he's still standing. My father and my brothers are dead, all at his hand. It would be foolish of me to forget that."

Lorenzo reached for the hand Alexis had resting on the back of the couch and squeezed her fingers gently. He left his hand there, and their fingers intertwined loosely. "Okay," he said. "So we'll keep an eye on him." Alexis rested her head back down on her arm and idly watched the interplay of their fingers. "Do you know what you want, Alexis?" Lorenzo asked.

She looked up at him with vaguely questioning and confused eyes. His question was too big, and in her weariness she couldn't immediately pin down his meaning.

"What you want to happen with Helena," Lorenzo clarified. "I know Kristina's safety is your first priority, but beyond that, what do you really want out of this?"

Alexis smiled grimly. "What is my heart's truest desire?"

"No, not your heart," Lorenzo corrected. "Your gut." He placed his free hand over her heart and she almost jumped. "I already know what you want in your heart. You want to be happy, and you want your daughter to be happy. I need to know what you want in here." He lowered his hand to the pit of her stomach, to the place just below her ribcage where all of her fear and anger and desire simmered. "Besides me," he added with a licentious smile.

"I'm not sure," Alexis said roughly. It was difficult to breathe, let alone think, with Lorenzo touching her and looking at her that way. "It all seems to be mixed up together right now. You, Helena . . . I can't think."

"Don't think," Lorenzo instructed. "Just feel. Close your eyes. Feel what you want. What you need. What you can't live without. Don't think about consequences, or right or wrong, or what's possible. You're not making a wish."

Alexis did as she was told, closing her eyes and letting the heat from Lorenzo's hand spread through her, spread to her core and release all of the need and want and rage she kept locked away. Somewhere inside her was a blinding fury demanding to be unleashed - the helpless fury of a five year old watching her world torn to shreds, a fury grown paralyzing over years of insults and attacks and threats weathered without retaliation, years of being held hostage to Helena, to Carly, to every man who expected her to be something she wasn't and then dared to act disappointed in her when she failed. With the permission granted her by Lorenzo's touch, she let the fury run free inside her, almost savoring it.

Lorenzo watched the primal emotions playing across Alexis's face. "What do you want, Alexis?" he whispered.

Revenge. Respect. Recognition. Never to take crap from anyone ever again. "I hate her. I want it to stop." There was deadly urgency in her voice, but her face was eerily calm.

"Do you want her dead?"

"Yes. I want her dead. I want to kill her. But first I want her to know that I won. That poor little Natasha survived them all. That her precious Cassadine legacy is mine." Alexis opened her eyes and looked at Lorenzo. As always, her eyes reflected everything. But this time it wasn't anger or fear or desire that he saw in them. It was something he had never seen before. Bloodlust. "I want them all to know that I won."

Her eyes stayed locked on Lorenzo and she breathed heavily. He moved his left hand from her stomach and traced his thumb softly over her dry lips. She almost gasped at the intimacy of the gesture. Her tongue dashed out to taste him, to taste the rough salty skin of the tip of his thumb, and when his thumb ventured too far in to chase down her tongue again, she bit him. His eyes flared in surprise, but he didn't object. It was all wrapped up together for her - her lust for revenge, for him. He unlocked it all.

Alexis involuntarily swallowed and ran her tongue along her tingling lips, effectively pushing his hand away. She began to come back to herself. Her eyes cleared, and she realized that her left hand was now clutching his right atop the back of the couch, their fingers tightly entwined. She released him, and pulled back.

Luke appeared in the doorway ready to make a wisecrack about his matchmaking effort, but he held his tongue when he saw the serious look between Alexis and Lorenzo. "Are you two ready?" he asked instead. Neither one looked up at him, but they both nodded.

For the next three hours, Alexis, Lorenzo and Luke drank coffee and brainstormed. Luke sat at his desk, Alexis and Lorenzo sat on the couch, and they took turns getting up to stretch or pace the room. They talked about Helena's favored methods of attack and how to neutralize her; they talked about how best to protect Alexis and Kristina and Jax and anyone else Helena might use as leverage; they analyzed the significance of Helena's recent shopping spree. Alexis described for the men the legal and business battleground on which the fight for the Cassadine assets would play out.

Lorenzo was already moving forward with his efforts to have his own men placed inside Helena's camp, and by morning a complete security plan would be in place. With some reluctance, Lorenzo agreed that Alexis and Kristina could continue to live at the lakehouse. He had argued that it would be significantly easier to protect them at a safe house or even his house, but when Alexis made it clear that Jax would accompany them wherever they went, he had realized his objections were more personal than practical.

Beyond basic security, Lorenzo's usefulness was immediately apparent. Where Alexis was inherently rulebound and strategized within and around legal restrictions and rules of business engagement, Lorenzo had a knack for seeing a clear gameboard and identifying the simplest and most effective route to an objective. He was smart and incisive, and Alexis was a little surprised to find that rather than being criminally brutish and heavy-handed, his thinking was actually quite graceful. He didn't ignore the law as much as put it in its place, and that was a talent that Alexis would need to go after Helena.

The whole conversation was eye-opening for Lorenzo. It was certainly an education in Helena's vicious ways and what would lie ahead, but more than that it was an education in Alexis and how her mind worked. He had always known she was a first-rate attorney, not just as a litigator but as a transactional lawyer as well, but it was a joy to see her in action. Even in her exhaustion, her mind was quick and commanding and relentlessly analytical, offering unexpected strokes of strategic creativity. She was a stunning woman, but her intelligence made her even more intoxicating to Lorenzo, and he knew he would never be able to tolerate another woman like Carly again.

As the night wore on, the beginning of a plan began to fall into place. Alexis would jumpstart the legal chess game by making a series of legal filings the next morning as the courts opened in each jurisdiction around the world where Cassadine assets lay. Before Helena even knew that Alexis wasn't rolling over, this bombardment would assure Alexis an arsenal of injunctions, restraining orders, and asset freezes that would solidify her grasp on the Cassadine business empire. At the same time, Lorenzo, and Jax if he was willing, would move quietly to take a position in certain companies - joint venture partners, Cassadine affiliates, lenders - that were most likely to interfere in Alexis's efforts to consolidate the Cassadine empire under her own control. Once that was done, Alexis would begin to round up every contact that could conceivably come into play - every Cassadine relative, employee, and business partner. And then they would wait for Helena to respond.

It was almost five by the time they had gone over everything.

"It's the waiting I really can't stand," Alexis groaned, sitting forward on the couch with her elbows on her knees and her head buried in her hands. "I hate feeling like a sitting duck." She rolled her head from side to side to try to loosen the knotted muscles of her neck and shoulders.

Reclining casually next to Alexis, Lorenzo reached forward reflexively and began to rub her shoulders. As his strong hands kneaded away at her tense muscles, he pushed away the neckline of her sweater and found soft warm skin. Alexis closed her eyes and relaxed into his touch, murmuring in greedy pleasure.

Luke cleared his throat. "Uh, maybe that's another thing we should discuss. Whatever the hell is going on between you two should stay behind closed doors. I don't mind watching this whole mating dance -- hell, it's better than a quarter peepshow -- but I don't think we want Helena to know Lorenzo's involved just yet. Do you think we can keep him a secret weapon for a little while?"

Alexis blushed furiously and stopped vocalizing her enjoyment, but she didn't move away from Lorenzo's touch. She glanced up at Luke and smiled tightly. "Fine."

Luke stood from his chair. "If we're done here, I'm going to head home and catch some Zs. Just lock up the front door when you go." He tossed a set of keys on the desk and quickly left the office.

For a minute after Luke left, Alexis let Lorenzo continue his massage. His hands were a balm on her aching muscles, and it felt too wonderful to stop. Even as the familiar fire sparked in her belly and heat spread dangerously through her body, she let him continue. She wanted to enjoy the pure pleasure of his touch as long as she could, until she reached the tipping point, the point of no return. Only when she knew that she had reached the edge of her control - that with one more second of his touch she would be unable to turn back - did she finally brush off his hands and stand.

"We should go, too," she said, grimacing slightly.

Lorenzo sighed, but then nodded and stood. "You're too tired to drive. I'll take you home in your car. One of my men can pick me up at the lakehouse."

Alexis was too exhausted to object. "Thank you."

Lorenzo retrieved their coats from the table where they had begun their visit to Luke's, and they headed out into what was left of the night.

chapter 25