Losing Balance
by Lionel

chapter 22

"You drive fast for a woman in a Volvo," Lorenzo commented as he opened her car door in the parking lot at Luke's. "You almost lost me."

Alexis grinned sheepishly. "I like to drive. The Volvo is a concession to motherhood." Lorenzo took her arm as she stepped out of her car. She had insisted on taking separate vehicles to Luke's.

"Dare I ask what you drove before Kristina was born?"

"Saabs, most recently. I have a thing for Swedish cars. I know it's not rational but it makes me feel closer to my mother. But before that, believe it or not, years ago, I used to have a vintage De Tomaso."

"You're kidding me."

"Nope. 1968. Canary yellow."

They had reached the entrance to Luke's, and Lorenzo held the door for her. As soon as they were inside the club, Claude spotted them from across the room and approached smiling. "Mr. Alcazar, Ms. Davis. It's a pleasure to see you. Let me get you a table." He led them to a table halfway back in the room, not too close or too far from the stage, and strategically placed to provide some privacy. "Best table in the house," Claude said, as Lorenzo discreetly tipped him. "I'll send your waiter right over."

"Claude, is Luke here?" Alexis asked.

"No, Ms. Davis. He went out for a little while but he should be back soon."

"Thanks," she said as Claude retreated.

"May I take your coat?" Lorenzo asked, standing behind Alexis and touching her sleeve gently.

Alexis nodded, suddenly nervous. She untied the belt of her coat with fumbling hands, intensely aware of Lorenzo's eyes watching each move. He slid the coat from her shoulders, and she sat down. She felt undressed, and looked down to make sure she hadn't somehow forgotten to put clothes on.

A waiter approached as Lorenzo took his own seat. "What can I get for you folks?" he asked.

"Uh, just coffee for me, please," Alexis said nervously.

"Decaf?"

"No, regular." At Lorenzo's raised eyebrow, she explained: "My daughter will be up in five hours. Consider this my first cup of the day."

"And for you, Mr. Alcazar?" the waiter asked.

"I'll have the same."

"Okay, two coffees coming up. How about something to eat?"

Alexis shook her head. "No, nothing right now," Lorenzo answered.

After the waiter was gone, Alexis eyed Lorenzo. "I take it you're a regular here?"

Lorenzo shook his head. "No, actually. I've never been here before."

"Really? Well your reputation seems to have preceded you. I suppose that comes with the territory, so to speak." Alexis narrowed her eyes. "You know, sometimes it's very easy to forget who you really are."

"And who is that?"

"A very powerful and dangerous man. Your veneer is pretty well polished. You seem educated, cultured, well-mannered - most of the time. But that veneer doesn't really contain you, does it? There's all this unstable energy underneath that seems like it might burst through at any moment. Maybe that's why . . . " Alexis let her words trail away and looked down at the coffee that had just arrived on the table.

"That's why what?" Lorenzo pressed. He leaned forward across the table and spoke in a low voice. "That's why you're attracted to me? That's why it feels like the room is going to explode into flames when you get near me?" Alexis didn't look up. She kept stirring her coffee nervously. "It's not just you, Alexis. I feel it, too. And it's not normal for me either."

Alexis shifted uncomfortably and finally looked at Lorenzo. "You know, it's an effort, it really is, to remind myself that underneath that shiny, slightly smarmy exterior you're a criminal."

"You say I'm a criminal. That's not what the government says."

"What do you say?"

"I say I'm a businessman."

"Funny, that's what Sonny says, too."

"I'm not Sonny Corinthos. I am a serious businessman. I make deals, the kind of deals that governments don't like to admit they're making. I buy and sell and deliver commodities in the most difficult markets around the world. I'm not some street thug in an expensive suit bullying his way around town with guns blazing, running strip clubs and numbers rackets."

"I think you underestimate Sonny," Alexis said quietly. "He's a better businessman than you give him credit for. His legitimate businesses are quite successful."

"Only because of you and the work you did for him. I know you were the real wizard behind the curtain, Alexis. You held his hand, you told him what to do. Of course, he probably never even thanked you. I bet he doesn't know how much he owes you."

"You're wrong. Sonny was always very grateful for my work."

Lorenzo looked skeptical. "What I don't understand is why you got involved with a smalltime hood like him in the first place. How did he convince you to represent him?"

Alexis shrugged. "Persistence."

"I can be persistent." Lorenzo's eyes bore into her suggestively.

"I can't be your lawyer, Lorenzo."

"I bet that's what you told Sonny, too."

"I made a mistake with Sonny. I'd like to think I can learn from my mistakes at this stage in my life."

"I think you'd like being my lawyer, Alexis." His voice was low and intense, and she could feel the heat from his gaze. "I know I'd like retaining you."

"I've seen the way you treat your lawyers, Lorenzo. Calling them at all hours of the night," she scolded gently.

"I wouldn't treat you that way, Alexis. And middle of the night consultations don't have to be inconvenient. In fact, I think you might find them very rewarding."

Alexis looked at him as if he had suddenly grown a second head. "Are you insane? You obviously have a vivid fantasy life, but I am not going to be your lawyer, Lorenzo, and I'm certainly not going to be spending my nights with you. Have you completely lost your mind?"

"Maybe a little. You make me insane."

"Can we please just talk about Helena? That's why we're here, remember?"

Lorenzo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He nodded and sat back in his chair. "Fine. Tell me about Helena."

Alexis took a long sip of her coffee and considered her words. "As you know, she's given me 48 hours to turn everything over to her. And I've been getting ready to do that. I know - or at least I think I know - that Kristina and I will be better off if I just walk away from the Cassadine estate, if I turn my back on the whole cursed family. But I'm having some trouble with it."

"What kind of trouble?"

"Well, for one thing, I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm giving up the only leverage I have against Helena, and that once I've done this I'll be at her mercy. Jax thinks she'll leave us alone if we're not a threat to her, but I'm not so sure. Maybe it's naïve to think that I can ever be free of the Cassadines."

Lorenzo considered her words. "That seems like a reasonable fear. So you want to hold onto the estate to preserve your bargaining position."

"Yes," Alexis said slowly. "But it's more than that. When I imagine filing these papers tomorrow, I feel physically ill. I can't stand the thought of doing this. It's turning over all that's left of my birthright to the woman who murdered my mother. I've spent most of my life at her mercy, absolutely terrified of the woman. She has terrorized me, and toyed with me, and damaged me, physically and mentally, in ways I'm only beginning to understand. I hate the way she makes me feel, and I really don't want to let her win again."

"Then don't do it. Don't file the papers."

"You know it's not that simple, Lorenzo. My first priority has to be keeping Kristina safe and happy. I need to focus on her future. I can't let myself be blinded by my childish hurt feelings, by these ugly emotions I can't seem to suppress."

Lorenzo leaned forward and reached for Alexis's hand. She stopped fiddling with her coffee cup and tentatively took his hand. "Don't trivialize your anger and fear, Alexis. You came by them honestly. Not every ugly emotion can or should be suppressed."

"Suppressing my emotions is sort of second nature to me, if you haven't noticed. I've never been very comfortable letting my feelings out." Alexis looked at their joined hands for a long moment. "You keep telling me that I can fight Helena and still keep Kristina safe. I guess that's why I came to see you tonight. I want you to help me understand if that's really possible. And don't tell me what you think I want to hear; tell me what I can believe."

Lorenzo nodded. "Okay. Keeping Kristina safe is actually pretty simple if you're really committed to it. We can put a wall of security around the two of you. If it's done right, I can promise that Helena won't be able to get to you. My men are exceptionally good and completely loyal. But there would be significant restrictions on your movement."

Alexis frowned. "I don't want to live in a fortress, Lorenzo. What are we supposed to do? Pull up the drawbridge and close the blinds and wait for her to die?"

"How long it lasts depends on what else you do. When you talk about fighting Helena, what do you mean? You could just ignore her ultimatum and wait for her to come after you. You could engage her on the legal and business fronts and try to parry whatever dirty tricks she pulls. Or are you willing to go toe to toe with her - pressure contacts, call in favors, send Mario in to sleep with the enemy? I'm sure she'd kill to win. Would you? Do you want the money and power? Do you want her dead? You need to decide what your endgame is."

"Did somebody here say endgame?" Alexis and Lorenzo looked up to find Luke hovering over the table grinning like a madman. He pulled a third chair up to the table and sat on it backwards. "You know, we see some pretty odd couples in here at one on a Wednesday night, but I think you two may take the cake. Why aren't you out there dancing? I'll ask the guys to play something nice and slow. We'll turn the lights down low so no one will see."

"We're not here to dance, Luke," Alexis said, letting go of Lorenzo's hand.

"Or drink, I see," Luke said, pointing to the coffee cups. "So you must be plotting something. Is it a clandestine rendezvous or murder? I don't know which would tickle me more."

"Helena's in town, Luke. You need new sources." Alexis's cell phone rang, and she pulled it out of her purse. "It's Jax," she said to Lorenzo, and excused herself from the table.

Lorenzo glared at Luke. "So you're the one who told Alexis that Helena was in Argentina? If you didn't owe me, you'd be a dead man, Luke. And I'd do it myself. Cheerfully."

"We all make mistakes. Why so touchy, Lorenzo? Trouble with the lady?"

"She thought I was lying to her, Luke. Let's just say she sought comfort elsewhere."

"Jax?" Luke hooked his thumb toward where Alexis stood talking on the phone.

Lorenzo nodded.

Luke put up his hands in apology. "I'm sorry, man. Guess that throws a wrench in things for you. But it looks like you're making a nice recovery. She sure didn't seem to be thinking of her ex when I showed up. Are you being good to her?"

"I'm trying," Lorenzo sighed. Alexis returned to the table and sat down. "Is everything okay at home?" Lorenzo asked.

Alexis nodded. "Jax was just worried. And not very pleased that I'd left the security guards at home."

"I guess they'd just cramp your style, huh?" Luke leered.

"They don't really inspire confidence," Alexis explained.

"I'll have my men in place within the hour," Lorenzo said. "If you're going to do this, there's no reason to delay. Excuse me for a moment." Lorenzo stood up and stepped away from the table to make a phone call, leaving Luke and Alexis alone. Luke watched Alexis with a coy smile on his face.

"What?" she said, annoyed.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking that love really does blossom in the strangest places. It warms my romantic heart."

"Don't be ridiculous, Luke."

"It's okay, you can tell me. I won't judge you."

"There's nothing to tell, Luke."

"It's nice, it really is, to see you getting out, Natasha. I was worried about you. You're not really cut out for tea parties and playing house all day long. I know you have needs. And I think Lorenzo may be just the man to help you with them. He's always been a handy guy to have around in the crunch."

"You know each other?" Alexis was surprised.

"Oh yeah, we go way back." Luke grew more serious. "Listen, he's a pretty good guy, Natasha, underneath it all. And I know he's crazy about you."

Lorenzo returned to the table to find Alexis staring at Luke with perplexity on her face. "Is Luke being perverse?" he asked tersely.

"He was just telling me that you two know one another," Alexis explained, still trying to adjust to the news.

"So is that what this little powwow is about? Helena?" Luke asked. "What does the wicked witch have up her sleeve now?"

"We don't know yet," Alexis responded cautiously. "But she's demanded that I turn over all of the Cassadine assets to her."

"And are you going to do that?"

"I'm considering my options."

Luke grinned. "You're not going to do it, are you? You're finally going to take her on. You've got the back-up now, huh?" He tipped his head at Lorenzo.

"I will provide whatever assistance Alexis needs," Lorenzo confirmed. "But it's her decision."

"Well, hot damn. This deserves a toast." Luke walked to the bar and returned with three shot glasses and an icy bottle of Russian vodka. "I've been saving this one just for you, Natasha." Luke poured the vodka and handed glasses to Alexis and Lorenzo. He held up his own glass. "To Natasha Cassadine. We've been waiting for you."

chapter 23