Losing Balance
by Lionel

chapter 15

In the fifteen minutes it took to drive from the lake house to the Grille, Alexis almost changed her mind and turned back home at least five times. At one moment she would realize that it was peculiar, if not dangerous, to be dragging Kristina out just before bedtime to confront an arms dealer who was expecting a date. At the next moment she would think about that morning outside Kelly's and the look on Lorenzo's face in the instant just before she had pulled him to her, or she would remember Lorenzo's reaction to her revelation about her mother, and she knew that some part of what had been going on had to be real. Her need to find out how much kept her from turning around.

It was almost 7:30 by the time Alexis walked into the Grille with Kristina in tow. She immediately spotted Jax sitting at a nearby table with a man she didn't recognize. Jax's face registered surprise at their arrival and he started to stand, but Alexis shook her head. The dinner plates were being cleared, and she knew that Jax would be getting ready to close the deal over dessert. Without interrupting his discussion, Jax tipped his head toward the back of the restaurant. Alexis looked in the direction of his gaze and found Lorenzo sitting alone at a table for two tucked away in the corner.

Again Alexis felt the impulse to turn around and go home. It was difficult to see how this could turn out well. Either she was about to confront and anger a very dangerous man whom she had already let too close to Kristina, or she was showing up for a date with this shockingly attractive man with a one-year old in pajamas in her arms, dinner splattered on her sweater, and wet sleeves.

She was about to turn and leave a message with the maitre d' when Lorenzo spotted them and smiled in delight. Alexis summoned her courage and approached his table.

"Hi," Lorenzo said, getting to his feet and trying to subdue the excitement in his voice. "I thought perhaps you had changed your mind."

"I did, " Alexis said nervously.

"Did your babysitter fall through?" Lorenzo asked, misunderstanding. He pulled out the chair for Alexis, and she sat with Kristina on her lap. She ran her fingers through the little girl's curls, picking away imaginary lint.

"Not exactly."

"Well, I'm glad you changed your mind, and I'm glad you brought Kristina. I'll have them bring a highchair."

"That won't be necessary. We're not staying." She finally looked Lorenzo in the eye, and he saw that she was upset.

"I don't understand," he said quietly, though he had some idea what was coming.

"We're not here to have dinner with you. I just thought I should do this face to face."

"Do what?"

Alexis shrugged. "I'm actually not quite sure. Figure out what's been going on. Tell you to stay away. I've been a little slow on the uptake lately, which I think is pretty understandable, but I have finally come to my senses here. I never should have agreed to have dinner or anything else with you."

"I thought we got past this, Alexis," he said, trying to be patient. "I thought you realized that I can help. You don't have to see me as a threat to your world." He reached his hand across the table in a bid to take her free hand, but Alexis just looked at his hand and left it there empty.

"We didn't get past anything, Lorenzo. I just let my hormones silence my brain for a little while. You were counting on that, right? Lonely women are easily manipulated." Her anger was building, catching Lorenzo by surprise. "I let myself forget for a minute who you really are, Lorenzo. I won't do it again."

"And who do you think I am?" His natural instinct was to respond to anger with anger, but more than anything he wanted to figure out what had sent Alexis running, so he forced himself to stay calm.

Alexis ignored his question. "You told me I could ask you whatever I want tonight. Tell me, is it true that you gave a woman plastic surgery and paid her to pretend to be Sonny's dead wife?"

Lorenzo sighed and pulled his hand back to his side of the table, assuming a more contained posture. "Yes," he said simply,

"Why?"

"To remind him of what he couldn't protect. To make him push Carly away."

"So she would come to you?"

"So she would be free of him. She needed help escaping his abuse."

"What gave you the right to decide that?" Alexis was appalled by his complete absence of apology or regret.

Lorenzo shrugged. "I saw a danger she was blind to. I moved her out of harm's way." Alexis froze at the familiarity of his words. She had said almost the same thing once to Stefan about Katherine Bell. "Haven't you ever had to do something distasteful, even manipulative, to protect someone you care about, Alexis?" She didn't answer, wondering what he could know about Katherine. "People aren't black and white. I'm no saint, Alexis, but I'm not such an evil bastard either. I'm a little grayer than most, I suppose, but I think you are, too."

"Please don't compare me to you, Lorenzo. It's insulting. On occasion, yes, I've done what I had to do to protect the people I love. But I'm not you, Lorenzo. Lies and manipulation and fakery aren't a last resort for you. They're a basic business practice." She tried to sound only angry, but her voice caught on her words, revealing some of the hurt she felt.

"What manipulation? What fakery? What is this about, Alexis?" asked Lorenzo, confused. "Are you really this upset on Carly's behalf?"

"Helena. You lied about Helena. And you faked this thing between us, whatever the hell it is." She waved dismissively at the space between them. "God, I'm such a fool."

"No, you're not," he said, a little desperate but glad to have something concrete to respond to and deny. "No, I didn't. I didn't fake anything. Whatever you think you know, you're wrong. Now slow down and tell me what's going on."

Kristina squirmed off Alexis's lap and stood at the table, busying herself with a pile of crayons. Alexis watched Kristina coloring the tablecloth, but didn't stop her. "Helena isn't in Greece, she isn't coming to Port Charles. She's on an island in Argentina."

"Says who?"

"My sources."

"Then your sources are wrong, Alexis. I have very good intelligence on this. I can get places your sources can't. Why would I lie to you about this?"

Their attention was drawn to the door by the commotion accompanying the arrival of Sonny Corinthos, with his mistress and entourage. Sonny scanned the room habitually as he entered and spotted Lorenzo, Alexis and Kristina in the corner. After helping Sam to her seat, he headed straight toward them. Lorenzo scooped Kristina into his lap and offered her his necklace to play with. Dreading the confrontation that was about to occur, and hoping to spare Kristina at least, Alexis looked toward Jax for help, but he was already walking over to talk to Sam.

"Alexis," Sonny said in greeting as he reached the table. He didn't acknowledge Lorenzo. "What's going on here? I thought our talk today cleared things up for you."

"Corinthos," Lorenzo spat out with scorn. " I should have known you were involved."

"Involved in setting Alexis straight about you? You bet. Look, you want to come after me, Alcazar, you come after me. Leave Alexis out of it. Stop hiding behind women and children." Sonny looked down at Kristina and her comfortable perch on Lorenzo's lap, then eyed Alexis accusingly. "What the hell are you doing, Alexis?"

"I had a few things to clear up with Lorenzo. It's okay, Sonny."

Sonny tipped his head toward Kristina. "I thought you were smarter than this, Alexis. You're taking a real chance here. And you're giving Ashton a lot of ammunition." Sonny eyed the beautiful little girl one last time, resisting the urge to reach out and touch the soft curls on the back of her head, then walked back to his table.

Alexis watched him walk away, trying to gather herself together with a series of controlled breaths. She reached out for Kristina, and Lorenzo passed the child to her mother.

"Why did you pick her up?" asked Alexis, suspicion beginning to brew.

"What do you mean?"

"As soon as you saw Sonny come in, you picked her up. You wanted him to see you holding her. Why? Did you just want to make sure he knows how close we are? I won't even let Ned near her, but I'm letting you play daddy?"

"That's ridiculous."

"It is ridiculous, Lorenzo. It's ridiculous for you to think you can make Sonny jealous by being with me or my daughter. He really doesn't care."

"Of course he does, Alexis. But that's not why I'm with you and it's certainly not why I picked up Kristina."

"Then why did you?"

"Do you really want to know?" Lorenzo hesitated, almost hoping she would say no. He had no idea how Alexis would deal with his response, but he knew that his words wouldn't help close the rift that had opened between them. "Because I thought he had too good a view of her. I thought you would be more comfortable if she were looking at me and he couldn't see her face."

"Why would that matter?" she asked carefully.

"You know why. Because sooner or later he's going to wake up and really see her, and he's going to realize who she is. I know you don't want that." Lorenzo spoke in a matter of fact tone.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I know, Alexis. I know he's her father." Lorenzo's voice was pleasant and unthreatening, but Alexis reacted almost violently to the realization of her fears. Every muscle in her body tensed as fury and terror washed over her together.

"That bitch," Alexis whispered harshly. "So that's what all this has been about? The best way to Sonny is through the child he doesn't know he has? What was the plan, Lorenzo? Wait until she's calling you daddy, then throw it in his face? Or just get close enough to hurt her, then make sure he knows what you've taken from him?"

"Alexis, no. Stop it," Lorenzo commanded. "Do you really think I would do that? You think I'm using you? That I would use this little girl?"

"Is that beneath you? You used Sonny's dead wife and child against him, right?"

Lorenzo hesitated. It wasn't in his nature to defend himself. "I would never hurt your daughter."

"You're damn right about that." Alexis glared at Lorenzo with deadly threat in her eyes. "I will do whatever I have to do to protect my daughter. I will do anything at all to keep her safe. That's what Luis found out, and that's what you will find out if you ever come near her again or make any move to use her against Sonny. I want you to call off your guards. If they're still at the house when I get back, I will have them arrested for trespassing."

"Alexis -" Lorenzo stopped. He couldn't think of anything to say that would fix this right now.

Alexis stood with Kristina in her arms and walked away as quickly as she could, trembling from anger and fear. Across the room Sonny saw Alexis's distress and instinctively got up to go after her, but before he had taken a step he realized that Jax was already half out of his seat, making an apology to his dinner companion and on his way to the door. Sonny sat back down.

Somehow Alexis found her car in the parking lot and put Kristina in her car seat, then closed the back door and collapsed against it, sobbing. She jumped at a touch on her shoulder and looked up, relieved to find Jax's beautiful, concerned face. He wrapped her in his strong arms, and she held on tight to him. "Come on," he said. "I'll drive you home."

chapter 16