Losing Balance
by Lionel

chapter 14

"Lorenzo Alcazar called while you were out." Jax watched Alexis carefully from behind his desk. From the moment she had walked into the lake house a few minutes ago, full of distracted apologies for missing lunch and dutiful reports on her medical progress, he had seen that she was upset. She was trying to put on a happy face, but it failed to conceal the weary sadness that was once again overtaking her, the sadness that Jax thought had begun to recede in the days since she had moved in. "He said he would see you at seven at the Grille. He left a number where you can reach him."

Alexis sank down into the couch opposite Jax's desk. She needed to hug Kristina, but the little girl was napping in her room. Instead she smiled wanly at Jax. "I suppose you're wondering what that's about."

"You're going out with Alcazar tonight?" Jax tried to sound non-judgmental - he wanted Alexis to feel safe confiding in him - but it was difficult to hide his concern.

Alexis laughed bitterly. "Of course not. He's a dangerous man. That wouldn't be very smart, would it?"

"He seems to think otherwise," Jax said quietly.

Alexis nodded, her bitter smile fading to ruefulness. "I suppose he does. For a moment I thought I might, but I've come to my senses. Or been brought to my senses, really." Alexis focused on a piece of molding on the wall above Jax. "I ran into Sonny at the hospital today."

"And he told you to stay away from Alcazar?" Jax could easily imagine the scene.

"Among other things. He pointed out that perhaps Lorenzo's . . . personal interest in me, as I think you called it, might have more to do with his battles with Sonny than with my own charms."

"And you believe Sonny?"

Alexis shrugged. "Well, much as I would like to cling to the notion that something in my life isn't about Sonny, I have to admit that what he said makes quite a bit of sense."

"That doesn't make it true, Alexis." Jax cursed Sonny silently for his crudeness and insensitivity. "Look, you know I think you need to keep your distance from Alcazar, but it's not inconceivable that he really is interested in you. You're a remarkable woman. He'd be a fool not to be."

"You're very sweet. But be that as it may," said Alexis, waving her hand, "Sonny also made another good point. He suggested that Lorenzo made up all of these reports about Helena."

Jax was taken aback. "Do you really think that's true?"

"It looks that way. When I finally flipped the switch in my brain on again, I realized that you and I don't actually know anything about Helena, do we? Lorenzo said my car was sabotaged, Lorenzo said Helena's yacht was coming, Lorenzo said Helena is busy with whatever nefarious activities in Greece."

"It's hard to believe he was lying about all that."

Alexis shrugged. It wasn't really so hard to believe at all. "Luke says Helena is on the beach in Argentina," Alexis said with finality. "He's confirming that now, but it certainly looks like Lorenzo was manipulating me."

Jax left his chair and walked over to the couch, where he sat and pulled Alexis to him for a hug. "I'm sorry, Alexis."

"Don't be. I was a fool to forget for one minute who that man is. At least this time I came to my senses before someone else I love was hurt." She shook her head in disgust. "You would think I would have learned my lesson by now, wouldn't you?"

"Some lessons don't take the first time. Or the second or third, in my case. You're not a fool, Alexis. They are." He kissed her gently on the top of her head. "You want me to cancel for you?"

Alexis shook her head. "Uh-unh." She scratched her head. "I just really want to hear from Luke first."

Jax looked at Alexis with concern. He wanted to say something, something that would console her or protect her from another hurt, but he knew that whatever he said would go unheard.

* * * * *

For the rest of the afternoon, Jax worked at his desk and Alexis on the couch, passing the phone in between them as needed. Each time it rang, Alexis waited nervously for the voice on the other end or Jax's face to tell her who it was. She found herself reading the same three pages of the brief in her hand over and over again.

Just before five, the phone rang and Alexis picked it up. Her heart skipped when she heard Lorenzo's voice.

"Alexis. It's Lorenzo."

"Hi." Alexis closed her eyes against the swirl of emotions playing in her. Jax looked up at the change in her tone.

"I just wanted to make sure you made it home okay. Mario said that he waited for you at the hospital, but you never showed up."

"I took a cab home." Alexis tucked her knees to her chest and put her hand to her forehead, covering her eyes. Going back to his computer, Jax watched out of the corner of his eye as Alexis's body language betrayed her turmoil. "I'm sorry I left Mario waiting."

"It's fine. I was just worried. Are you all right? You sound uncomfortable."

"I'm fine." Alexis's voice was as tight as her body.

"How did your appointment go?"

"Fine."

"Is everything healing all right?"

"Yes. I have a walking cast now."

"That's wonderful. Did you get my message about dinner?"

"Yes."

"Did you have any trouble getting a babysitter?"

"No."

"Alexis? Are you sure you're okay? What's wrong?"

Alexis's thumb and forefinger pushed hard at her brow, as if she could somehow force clarity onto the mixed emotions that were assaulting her. "I'm just in the middle of something, Lorenzo. I'm waiting for a call." She was almost undone by saying his name.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll let you go then. I'll see you tonight."

Alexis's jaw was squeezed shut. "Goodbye." She hung up before hearing his response.

Jax watched Alexis silently until she had recovered enough to meet his gaze. "Why didn't you say anything to him?" he asked.

Alexis shrugged. "I couldn't. I need to talk to Luke. I need to be sure." She picked up the phone again and dialed Luke's number.

"Luke's Place."

"It's Alexis. What did you find out?"

"Whoa, counselor. It's nice to talk to you, too. What's your rush, Natasha?"

"I just need to know, Luke."

"Okay. The loop isn't quite closed yet, but it looks like Helena is still on the beach. Good news, right?"

"Yeah, right. Thanks." Alexis hung up the phone. She wanted to throw it across the room, but settled for pounding the couch with her fist. The couch was too soft, though, and the unsatisfying gesture only frustrated her more.

"Are you going to call Alcazar back?" asked Jax gently.

Alexis shrugged. "I don't know. I suppose I have to. Or I could just stand him up. It would serve him right."

"My meeting tonight is at the Grille. I can talk to him if you like," Jax offered.

"No. Thank you, but no. I need to deal with this myself. Don't talk to him, okay?"

"Okay."

"And no assault and battery, either. I don't want to have to come bail you out." She smiled affectionately at Jax.

"I'll try." Jax stood from his desk chair. "Listen, I'd better get going. My meeting isn't until six, but I need to pick some papers up on the way. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be okay. When will you be home?"

"Not late. A couple of hours. Then we'll do something, okay?" He kissed Alexis on the head.

"Okay," she nodded. "Have a good meeting, dear."

"I will, darling." Jax headed toward the door, then turned around. "You know I love you, right? And I think you're an absolutely amazing woman."

Alexis smiled appreciatively. "I love you, too. Now go."

* * * * *

A short while later Alice left as well, and Alexis and Kristina sat down to supper. Alexis had managed to make a reasonably edible pasta salad, and Kristina seemed to like it, but eventually the meal ended, as they always did, with Kristina dumping the contents of her plate on the floor and declaring herself "all done". Alexis had to stifle her laughter as she cleaned up the mess. By the time Alexis had given Kristina a bath, put the little girl in her pajamas and settled in to read, it was almost seven, and she realized with surprise that she had managed to forget about Lorenzo for a while.

She imagined Lorenzo sitting in the restaurant alone, waiting, and though it gave her some petty satisfaction she felt guilty as well. It wasn't like her to be so cowardly about confrontation. As Alexis sat in her rocking chair, reading with Kristina, her mind traveled back to a similar evening several years earlier, when she had arrived for a romantic dinner with Ned only to find herself ambushed instead. Ned had been certain that she had undercut him with ELQ Jakarta, that she had been leading him on only to gain a business advantage, and he had attacked viciously. Ned had been wrong, or mostly wrong, about her. Was it possible that she was wrong about Lorenzo? And if he cared at all, was standing him up entirely any less cruel than Ned's ambush?

She thought of Ned's habitually quick judgment and intolerance, and caught a glimpse of herself painted with the same colors. That was enough to spur Alexis forward. She stood from the rocking chair with Kristina in her arm, grabbed her purse and a bottle of milk, and headed to the door.

chapter 15