Losing Balance
by Lionel

chapter 13

"What the hell are you doing, Alexis?"

Sonny's angry words pulled Alexis abruptly out of the peacefulness she had been trying to summon. She opened her eyes and saw Sonny sitting next to her on the bench, watching her with a hurt and wary expression on his face.

"I was resting," she said testily. "Now I'm going to a doctor's appointment." She picked up her purse and crutches and started to stand. Sonny reached out and took her arm, pulling her back down.

"What are you doing with Alcazar?"

"That's none of your business."

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"That's really none of your business. I'm leaving." She pulled her arm away from him and stood.

"Alexis, please. Don't go. Just hear me out." Sonny's tone was softer now.

"Why should I do that?"

"Because we used to mean something to each other," he said simply, looking her directly in the eyes and trying to make her see the honesty of his intent.

"That was a long, long time ago. A lot has happened." Alexis resisted.

"I know. Please. Sit."

Alexis sat down, watching Sonny warily.

He sighed. "You know who this guy is, right? Guns, drugs, all that? He's a bad guy, Alexis."

"So many people are these days," she said archly, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"I know, I know I sound like a hypocrite. But you gave me such a hard time. You went on and on about how morally challenged I am. What the hell are you doing with this guy?"

"I'm not with Lorenzo."

Sonny looked at her skeptically. "I'm not a fool, Alexis. I know you. I saw the way you looked when you came in here."

Alexis blushed, then squeezed her eyes closed in annoyance at her reaction. "I'm not with him, Sonny. I know who he is. He's just helping me with the Helena problem. That's all."

"I hope so. Tell me about the Helena problem. What's going on with her?"

Alexis shrugged. "Apparently she's preparing for something. Lorenzo said she's been all over the black market in Greece. And he's heard reports that she's coming this way."

"'Lorenzo said'? What have you heard?"

"Nothing. My sources have been quiet," she acknowledged.

"And you believed him?" asked Sonny in surprise. "Oh, Alexis. He's playing you."

"That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not. I bet you anything he made the whole thing up."

"Why would he do that? I really don't think he wants revenge anymore, and even if he did it would be a pretty inefficient way of getting it."

"To get you running scared. To get you to run to him."

"Why?"

"I dunno. To get you in bed? You're a beautiful woman. Maybe he decided he had to have you. Or maybe he thought he could use you to get to me. He knows we were close. Maybe he thinks you can help him come after me. Is he right? Is that what the custody trial was about?"

"No, Sonny. The custody trial was about your children and what was best for them."

"You think having my children exposed to that man was best for them?"

"I don't think he's the monster you say he is. He's not really that different from you, is he?"

"Is that what you think? Do you know what he did to me, to my family? He made me believe that Lily was back. He paid some woman to pretend to be Lily and follow me around. He gave this woman plastic surgery to make her look like my dead wife, Alexis. I thought I was losing my mind. This Helena thing, making you think she's coming after you, would be right up his alley."

"No." Alexis buried her face in her hands. "He wouldn't do that."

"I'm not lying to you, Alexis. You know me."

Alexis couldn't breathe. She had to think. What had Lorenzo said about Helena? What did she herself really know about Helena? Alexis took out her cell phone and dialed a number.

"Luke's Place."

"Luke, it's Alexis. Where's Helena?"

"On some island off the coast of Argentina last I heard, being lathered up with suntan lotion by her boytoys. Why? Have you heard something?"

Alexis groaned. "Nothing definitive. Just a rumor that she's heading this way. And that she's been making preparations in Greece. I need to know if it's true."

"Okay. I'll make some calls and get back to you."

"Thanks." Alexis hung up. She couldn't believe this was happening.

"What did Luke say?" Sonny asked.

"Helena's sunning herself in Argentina." Alexis waved her hand vaguely in disgust. "Tell me something. Have I always been this big an idiot?"

"You're not an idiot, Alexis. He got me, too. He knew just how to get to us. He found our most vulnerable spots, and that bastard used them."

"But why? Why bother with me? It seems like an awful lot of effort on the off chance that I might have something he could use against you." She thought of Kristina, and began to wonder if Lorenzo knew.

"Look, ever since that guy got to town, he's been coming after me, trying to take away everything that's mine piece by piece. I don't know if he thinks you can help, or if he thinks that seeing you and him together is going to drive me nuts. But I think that what happened here is you got caught in the middle of what's going on between me and him. And I'm sorry about that." Sonny paused. "What do you need? What can I do to help?"

"Nothing. I'll deal with this myself. But thank you for telling me. And for not making me feel any more foolish than I already do."

Sonny squeezed Alexis's knee reassuringly, reluctant to leave. She didn't look at him, and he knew she had shut him out again. He stood and walked away. Alexis sat on the bench, replaying the previous week in her head, trying to find the truth about what had really happened. She realized that each time she had pushed Lorenzo away, he had come back with more news of Helena, and she had played right into his hands. She accepted his guards, she accepted his help, she opened up her secrets to him. She had let him in so easily. She flushed in embarrassment at the memories of their intimacy, of the way she had let him touch her, of the ways she had touched him. The electrical current running between them had seemed real. Was she really so hard up that she didn't notice that he was faking?

She thought of her dinner plans with Lorenzo and of the decision she knew she had made somewhere in the back of her mind to stop resisting him tonight, at least for one night. She would wait for Luke's call, for the confirmation she knew would come, and then she would have to cancel those plans. Instead she would have dinner alone with her daughter.

chapter 14