Losing Balance
by Lionel

chapter 5

Alexis returned from her therapy session an hour and a half later to find Jax sprawled out on her hospital bed asleep. His arm was wrapped protectively around a still sleeping Kristina, and her head was tucked snugly under his arm. Alexis waved away the orderly pushing her wheelchair, and sat taking in the peaceful scene.

A wave of sadness hit Alexis at the thought of the father that Kristina didn't know. Alexis never regretted her decision not to tell Sonny about the baby, for she knew she had made the best choice she could, but still she wondered sometimes if the little girl felt his absence. Alexis had thought that Kristina's world would be so full of loving and attentive men - Stefan, Nikolas, Ned - that she wouldn't feel her father's absence, but Stefan and Nikolas were gone, and Ned couldn't stay within the boundaries Alexis had tried to proscribe.

Being a single mom suited Alexis's independent nature. Sole parenthood was logistically and emotionally challenging, certainly, and carried an almost overwhelming responsibility, but there was simplicity in being Kristina's whole world. There was no energy wasted on disagreements or compromises with a co-parent with different ideas, and she didn't have to worry about counteracting someone else's bad habits or negative influences. Her own neuroses were enough to worry about; Alexis was glad that Kristina wouldn't be exposed to Sonny's temper and self-pity and self-hatred. When she was most honest with herself, Alexis admitted that she was happy she was a single mom, but this admission fueled her lingering guilt. At times Alexis caught a glimpse of something in Kristina that was purely Sonny - a soulful look in her eyes, an ingratiating smile - and it made her catch her breath. Alexis worried about the day when Kristina would ask about her daddy.

Alexis let out an involuntary sigh, and Kristina's eyes flickered open at the sound. She was well-rested and woke easily, immediately sitting up and assessing her surroundings. She smiled at her mother and pointed proudly at the sleeping form next to her. "Jax," she indicated, barely pronouncing the j.

Kristina picked up Jax's arm and tried to push him out of the bed, just as she did her stuffed animals each morning. When she realized she couldn't budge him, she decided he would make a fine doll. "Jax drink bottle," she giggled. Kristina picked up a paper cup from the table by the bed and put it to Jax's lips. Alexis realized a moment too late that the cup was full, and watched helplessly as Kristina poured water all over Jax's face. His eyes flew open and he sat up spluttering, sending pools of water running down his neck. He looked down at his soaked shirt in disbelief.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Jax," Alexis said, trying to sound horrified but failing to stifle her laughter. Kristina slid off the bed and scampered over to her mother.

As the cold water warmed to his body temperature and his heart rate returned to normal, Jax began to laugh, too. He pointed at Kristina in mock sternness. "You are exactly like your mother, young lady. That will teach me to turn my back on either one of you." He picked up a towel and tried to absorb some of the water from his shirt. "So, how did your therapy session go?"

"Oh, fine," Alexis answered breezily. "They went easy on me. They tell me they'll ratchet up the torture after a couple of weeks."

"So what's the verdict? Are you getting out of here today?"

"I don't know yet. That's up to the doctor. He should be around sometime this afternoon." Alexis grew more serious. "Did you make your phone calls? What did you find out about Helena?"

"Nothing yet, I'm afraid. I'm still waiting for some calls back." Jax looked thoughtfully at the cast on Alexis's leg. "Listen, have you given any thought to what you're going to do when you get out of here? You're going to need help with Kristina for awhile."

"I hadn't really thought about it yet. I suppose you're right. I've been making do with a patchwork of babysitters, but maybe I need someone full-time for a while. I'll talk to Ned and see if he can free up more of Alice's time for a few weeks."

Jax nodded. "Okay. And what about you? I think you need someone to watch over you too. I don't like the idea of you and Kristina alone at night, not with all those stairs at your place, and not with Helena on the loose."

Alexis narrowed her eyes. "What are you thinking, Jax?"

"Move into the lake house with me. At least until you're back on your feet. Skye moved out last month, and there's plenty of room for all of us. And Chin Chin delivers there." He smiled his most charming smile. "You can put your legs up and be waited on hand and foot." Jax suddenly stood up from the bed. "Speaking of which, I should get out of your bed so you can put your foot up. I'm being a dunce, sorry."

Jax lifted Alexis carefully out of the wheelchair and into his arms and carried her to the bed. He paused before putting her down. "Say you'll move in to the lake house. Let me take care of you, Alexis. Just for a little while."

Alexis looked closely at Jax, considering his proposal. His face reflected such affection and generosity. He always made her want to say yes. "Put me down," she said instead. "I can't think when I'm in your arms."

Jax held her tighter. "Just say yes."

Alexis bit her lower lip. "Jax, Kristina and I are not your responsibility. We -". There was a knock on the door. "Saved by the bell."

The door opened and Lorenzo appeared. He looked curiously at the scene in front of him, concealing the jealousy that was starting to burn in his stomach. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something."

"No, no, it's okay," Alexis reassured him. "Jax was just helping me into bed."

"And trying to convince Alexis that she and Kristina should come stay with me. I'm sure you'll agree that they shouldn't be alone, Mr. Alcazar."

"It's really not my place to say," Lorenzo responded diplomatically. "I do think Alexis needs to be cautious."

Jax turned his gaze back to Alexis. "Please consider it. The lake house is perfect for you and Kristina. No stairs, railings everywhere. I had it completely modified after Mr. Alcazar's brother shot me," he said pointedly, tilting his head toward Lorenzo. "And you know we get along swimmingly when we co-habitate."

Alexis resisted Jax's smile. "Put me down. You're getting me wet." Jax relented, placing Alexis gently on the bed. "We'll talk about it later, Jax. You should go get changed."

Jax looked skeptically at Lorenzo. "Are you sure you'll be all right with Kristina? You're in no condition to chase a toddler around."

Lorenzo spoke up. "I can stay with Alexis and Kristina until you get back, Mr. Jacks. I just stopped by to provide a small update, but I'm happy to stay." Alexis looked at Lorenzo inquiringly. "I made a few inquiries. It seems that the harbormaster has been told to expect Helena's yacht tomorrow."

Alexis groaned. "Ready or not, here she comes."

Jax leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "We'll be ready. Try to get some rest. I'll be back as soon as I can." Jax walked out of the room, passing Dr. Lindman on his way in.

"And how are you feeling this afternoon, Ms. Davis?" asked the old doctor. "And who is this beautiful young lady?" He bent over Kristina. The little girl looked up in terror, and began to cry.

"She doesn't like doctors very much," Alexis explained apologetically. "She's had some difficult experiences."

"Well, I'll try to be quick, but I need to examine your mother, dear." Kristina continued wailing.

"Lorenzo, could you please take Kristina down to the cafeteria and get her some milk?" Alexis pled, slightly desperate.

"Of course," he replied. Lorenzo picked up the crying girl and headed to the door. "Are we going to get a yummy snack, Kristina?" he cooed gently. She had calmed down before they were out of the room.

Everyone in the cafeteria watched the handsome man and beautiful little girl eating cookies and milk side by side. Kristina chatted as she ate, telling Lorenzo at length about something he couldn't quite make out but that was clearly of great interest to her. When they had finished, he took her to the bathroom and washed her face and hands.

As they waited for the elevator to take them back upstairs, Kristina slid out of Lorenzo's arms to push the call button. The elevator finally arrived, and they rode up hand in hand. When the doors opened on the eighth floor, Kristina scampered ahead out of the elevator. Lorenzo followed, running straight into Sonny Corinthos.

Sonny tried to block the taller man's path, glaring at Lorenzo with disgust. Lorenzo tried to sidestep Sonny to get to Kristina. Sonny followed Lorenzo's gaze and caught sight of the little girl. "That's Alexis's kid," Sonny said in sudden recognition. He quickly stepped forward and scooped Kristina protectively into his arms. "What the hell are you doing with Kristina?" Sonny asked angrily.

"Taking her to her mother, Corinthos. I'm babysitting. So I suggest you hand her to me right now." Lorenzo spoke calmly, but his steely gaze was threatening. Kristina squirmed in Sonny's arms.

"Not a chance, Alcazar. She's not going anywhere with you. I'm taking her to her mother." Sonny set off down the hall toward Alexis's office.

"Wrong way, Corinthos." Lorenzo pointed in the other direction. "Alexis is that way. Room 814."

Sonny stopped and turned. He eyed Lorenzo with suspicion. "Alexis is in the hospital? What the hell did you do to her?" He didn't stay to hear Lorenzo's response, instead walking quickly toward Room 814.

When Sonny burst into the hospital room with Kristina in his arms, Alexis and Jax looked up in shock. In that instant, Jax saw that Kristina and Sonny wore perfectly matching expressions of anger on their faces, and the suspicion that had been brewing in the back of his mind for two years crystallized. Jax looked over to see Alexis frozen with terror, and his suspicion was confirmed.

Sonny misinterpreted the cause of Alexis's distress. "It's okay, Alexis. She's okay," he said reassuringly. "Alcazar was headed out with her, but I've got her. If you call security they can catch him before he leaves the building." Lorenzo appeared behind Sonny in the doorway.

Alexis was unable to speak. She was fighting hard to control her breathing. Jax stepped forward and took Kristina from Sonny, eager to prevent Lorenzo from catching the same glimpse Jax had seen. Jax handed the little girl to her mother, then turned toward Sonny, using his body to shield Sonny's view of Kristina. "It's under control, Corinthos. You can go now."

Sonny looked at Jax, then Alexis, in confused disbelief. "Not until someone tells me what the hell is going on here."

"Nothing you need to worry about, Corinthos," Jax warned. "Kristina wasn't in any danger. Your heroics weren't necessary."

"Just like I told you, Corinthos." Sonny turned around to see Lorenzo smirking in the doorway, arms folded across his chest. "Alexis asked me to babysit."

Sonny stepped around Jax so he could look directly at Alexis. "Tell me it isn't true, Alexis. Tell me you didn't let this freak near your daughter."

Alexis swallowed and found her voice. "I asked Lorenzo to take Kristina to the cafeteria for a snack."

"Do you know who this guy is, Alexis?" Sonny bellowed. "Do you know what he's tried to do to me? To my family? Tell me you're not involved with him."

Alexis's voice grew stronger. "I don't have to tell you a damn thing, Sonny. Whom I leave my daughter with is none of your business."

"Is this what the custody trial was about? Is this why you went after me? Because you have something going on with this freak? Or does he have something on you?" Sonny added more thoughtfully.

Alexis bit her tongue and resisted the urge to tell Sonny that it was Carly who had insisted that Alexis use whatever means necessary in the custody trial. As satisfying as it would be to tell the truth and blow up the Corinthos's sick reconciliation, it would be a Pyrrhic victory, as Carly would undoubtedly strike out by telling Sonny about Kristina.

"Mr. Alcazar and I are acquaintances," Alexis said instead. "I helped him out of some trouble yesterday. He was just returning the favor."

"Look, Alexis, if you need protection or something, I can help you," Sonny offered. "What happened here anyway? What happened to your leg? Did Alcazar do this to you?"

Alexis looked at Sonny in disbelief. "I think you've been watching the Godfather too much, Sonny. No, Lorenzo didn't do this. I broke my ankle when I was trying to give him a hand. It was an accident."

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and Lorenzo opened it to reveal two muscular men in dark suits wearing earpieces. Lorenzo spoke to them quietly, then motioned them to stand outside the door.

"What was that about, Lorenzo?" Alexis asked after the door was closed.

"Those are two of my most trusted bodyguards," Lorenzo explained. "I think it's a necessary precaution in light of the news about Helena. If you prefer to use your own people, or Mr. Jacks', that's fine, but until you've put others in place, I think you should allow my men to protect you. They are the best, and I would encourage you to keep them on until the situation with Helena is resolved."

"Helena?" Sonny asked sharply. "What does she have to do with this? Is she causing you trouble again, Alexis?"

Alexis reluctantly met Sonny's eyes. "Yes. It seems that she may be a problem again. Someone may have tampered with my car yesterday."

Sonny looked at Alexis with concern, and for the first time in almost two years she remembered what it had been like when he was her friend. "I can help you, Alexis. I'll give you Johnny, Max, all my best guys. You don't need to turn to Alcazar. Believe me, you don't need the kind of trouble this guy will bring you."

"Thank you, Sonny. I really do appreciate the offer. And your concern. Especially in light of . . . everything," Alexis waved vaguely. "I don't mean to be rude but, frankly, your men were no match for Helena the last time. I will deal with this myself. I will figure out what I need to do and I will do it."

Sonny shook his head in exasperation and annoyance at her rejection. "Believe me when I tell you, Alexis, you will regret the day you ever let Alcazar into your life." Sonny shifted his gaze to Kristina and smiled. He reached his hand out and touched Kristina's curls gently, then caressed her cheek. She looked up at him with curiosity. "She's a beautiful little girl, Alexis," he said softly. "Any parent would be proud. Please be very, very careful with her. And yourself."

Sonny turned and walked out the door. As the door was closing behind him, Lorenzo called after Sonny. "Hey, Corinthos. Tell your wife she left something in the basement."

Lorenzo turned back toward Alexis and grinned apologetically. "I'm sorry about that. And I'm sorry about the guards. I was going to tell you when I got here, but I just didn't have the chance. The doctor was here, then you sent me out with Kristina -"

"It's okay, Lorenzo," Alexis interrupted. "I understand. And I do appreciate it, really. I just really hate having guards around. I wanted to spare Kristina that kind of life."

"I can understand that, Alexis. But it seems as though it would be wise to be cautious right now. As I said, if you want to put your own people on this, that's fine. I would understand. Just let me know when you have them in place and I'll pull my guys."

"Okay," Alexis nodded. "I haven't made any decisions yet. Until I do, I will accept your generosity. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Lorenzo sat down at the edge of the bed and adopted a more relaxed and intimate tone. "So what did the doctor say? Are you going home today?"

"Unfortunately, no." Alexis looked sadly at Kristina. "But he promised I can go home tomorrow."

"Wherever that may be," Jax interjected with a smile.

"So have you decided to move in with Jax, then?" Lorenzo asked.

"Oh, I haven't made any decision about that yet either," Alexis answered evasively. "In fact, there are some things I should really discuss with Jax right now. Would you mind excusing us, Lorenzo?"

Lorenzo stood abruptly, trying to conceal his disappointment. "Of course. If you need anything else, please call." He considered telling her he would come to visit her tomorrow, but thought it best not to give Alexis the opportunity to tell him not to come. "Goodbye, Kristina," he waved to the little girl. "It was a pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you, Lorenzo, for everything. I'll let you know what I decide about the guards."

Lorenzo nodded, and left.

With Lorenzo gone, Jax moved to the bed and took Alexis's hand. He watched a world of worries move across her face. "What are you thinking?" he asked gently. Alexis rolled her eyes to indicate the enormity of that question and the impossibility of any answer. "About the lake house," he clarified.

"Oh. About that. Well, I'm worried. But you knew that. I'm tempted, I really am. But I don't want to uproot Kristina yet again. We're just starting to get in a real rhythm and routine together, and I don't want to damage that. She's been moved around too much, Jax. I desperately want to give her the safety and security of a familiar home. I've worked really hard at making my apartment our home, and I don't want to jerk her out of it and stick her in yet another room for a month or whatever."

"What if it weren't just a month, Alexis?" Jax asked thoughtfully. "What if you moved in permanently?"

"You and me?" Alexis asked warily, not entirely sure what he was suggesting.

"Yeah, why not? We've done it before. The penthouse never felt like so much a home as it did when you were there. And if you get tired of me, I promise I'll go. Really. Once you've healed, and you're safe, if you want me to, I'll leave. You can have the place."

"Really? I don't know, Jax," Alexis waffled. "What about you? Your life? Won't having your ex-wife and her kid around cramp your style?"

"Oh, I've got no style, Alexis. Seriously, I'm not worried about that. There's no one in my life right now, and I'm definitely not looking."

"What about Sam McCall?" Alexis asked gingerly, mindful of her indelicate examination of Sam on the witness stand.

"That's not an issue. She was . . . a pastime at best, and it's over." Jax anticipated Alexis's next question. "And Skye is gone, too. She isn't part of my life anymore. Too much water under the bridge."

"What about Helena, Jax? This is my fight, not yours. You almost got killed once before trying to help me. I don't want to be responsible for something happening to you."

"That's my decision, Alexis. You and Kristina are important to me. Look, you know I don't want you to try to take on Helena. But if you decide you have to, you know I'll do what I can for you. Please, Alexis. Say you'll move in. It makes too much sense not to."

Alexis raised her hands in surrender. "Okay, I'll do it. For now. Thank you. But I think you may regret this. Have you ever lived with a one and a half-year old?"

Jax smiled. "I survived the water wake-up. I think I can survive anything." He kissed Alexis gently on the lips. "I'm very happy."

"Me, too."

chapter  6