Losing Balance
by Lionel

chapter 2

Lorenzo arrived at General Hospital twenty minutes later and tracked Alexis down in the emergency room. He found her on a bed behind a curtain in triage, resting with eyes closed and an i.v. running to her right hand. The slip was gone and she was in a pale blue hospital gown. She looked peaceful and radiant.

Her eyes flipped open at the sound of the curtain closing behind Lorenzo. She met his gaze and smiled bashfully, with shining eyes and a flush in her cheeks, as though she had just been caught doing something embarrassing but very pleasant.

"Have I interrupted something?" Lorenzo asked with a smile.

"Happy thoughts," Alexis smiled dreamily. She waved at the i.v. bag in explanation: "Morphine. I may have to rethink my position on narcotics." Her smile faded quickly as she remembered that the man in front of her probably dealt in illegal narcotics. "I . . . uh . . . that was just a joke."

"Must be powerful stuff," Lorenzo said gently, moving past the awkward moment. "You looked very relaxed and content. I've never seen you that way before. So what is the verdict on the leg? Have they seen the x-rays yet?"

"Yes," Alexis said with a sigh. "It seems I've done quite a bit of damage to myself - bones, ligaments, tendons. They tell me they want to operate tonight. They're just going to wait awhile to let some of the initial swelling go down."

"I'm sorry, Alexis," Lorenzo said sincerely.

Alexis shrugged. "It's all a little bizarre to me, actually. It feels like it's happening to someone else. I suppose that's the drugs. I've never really hurt myself like this before."

Bobbie Spencer poked her head inside the curtain. "Excuse me, Alexis. We need to go over some paperwork before the surgery."

"Oh. Okay. Come on in, Bobbie."

Bobbie looked askance at Lorenzo at he settled into a chair, but seeing no objection from Alexis, Bobbie ignored him and pulled out a file folder. "I have your records from your hospitalization when Kristina was born, Alexis. Are there any updates to your medical condition that we should be aware of? Any allergies?" Bobbie considered asking about Alexis's psychiatric diagnosis, but decided it would be unwise given the identity of the patient and her visitor.

"No, nothing, Bobbie."

"Okay, how about personal information? Insurance still the same? Address still the same?"

"Yes and yes."

Bobbie hesitated. "We're going to need an emergency contact, Alexis," she said gently. "Nikolas is listed here as next of kin."

Lorenzo saw the familiar sadness return to Alexis's eyes. He wanted to take her hand, but instead he sat still in the chair.

Alexis swallowed tightly. "I don't know . . . I don't really have a next of kin, Bobbie. Kristina's it for me now."

"Well, what we really need is someone who can make medical decisions on your behalf if necessary. Shall I put down Ned's name?"

"No, not Ned." Alexis's mind raced through a gallery of family and friends. Kristina, Stefan, Nikolas, Chloe, Cameron, Zander. All gone. Sonny was an angry stranger. Ned couldn't be trusted anymore. Luke? That was too preposterous to consider. Really there was only one person left. They rarely spoke anymore, but there was no one she trusted more to be there for her and look after her interests. "Put down Jax, Bobbie."

"Okay. Jasper Jacks, it is. I'll fill in the address and number. And what shall I put down for relationship? Ex-husband?" Bobbie looked at Alexis.

"'Friend' will do."

Lorenzo listened with interest. He was familiar with Jasper Jacks, both as a businessman and as a figure in Luis's obsession with Brenda, but Lorenzo had no idea that Jax had been married to Alexis. He scolded himself mentally; that was the kind of information that he would have been aware of months ago if he hadn't been so distracted with the idiotic Corinthos mess. Everyone has a past, he reminded himself.

"Okay, that's about it, Alexis." Bobbie stood up. "The doctor will be here in a little while to answer any questions you have about the surgery. I'll leave the consent forms for you to review, and I'll pick them up later."

"I wrote the consent forms, Bobbie," Alexis said with a smile. "But thank you very much."

Bobbie looked at Lorenzo pointedly. "Shall I call Jax, Alexis? I can ask him to come down here."

"No, thank you, Bobbie. That's not necessary. I'm sure he's busy, and I don't want to bother him with this."

Bobbie nodded. "If you need anything else, Alexis, I'll be on duty until midnight." Bobbie left through the curtain. She paused for a moment, considering the scene she had left behind, then went to the front desk and picked up the phone.

"Do you know Bobbie Spencer well?" Lorenzo asked Alexis. Carly had never said much to him about her mother.

"Well, we're not exactly friends," Alexis answered carefully. "But we do know each other fairly well. I like her quite a bit, actually, but I don't think she likes me. Bobbie was married to my brother, Stefan, for a short while. She felt ill-used by him, though, and blames me in part. Guilt by extension, or familial relation - it's part of being a Cassadine, I'm afraid."

"I know a little something about that, " Lorenzo said pointedly.

Alexis fidgeted. She wasn't ready to remember who Lorenzo really was or all the reasons why she should throw him out. She went on nervously: "And Bobbie also came very close to marrying my husband's brother, just before he fled town with the government on his heels. So I'm afraid I've been associated with some of Bobbie's darker moments. My ex-husband, I should say."

"Jasper Jacks?"

"Yes." Alexis saw the flicker of jealousy in Lorenzo's eyes and considered enlightening him about the circumstances of her marriage to Jax. She stopped herself though. She hated describing her marriage to Jax as one of convenience; it short-changed a relationship that was much more complicated and dear to her than that. Besides, she didn't owe Lorenzo Alcazar any explanations. "I'm sorry, I tend to go on. That was more than you wanted to hear and more than I should have said. I'm afraid the magic potion here has loosened my tongue."

"It's quite all right. Listen, Alexis -- " Lorenzo stopped. He couldn't do this sitting in a chair. He stood up and went to the bed, and carefully sat on the edge. "I never had a chance to thank you. You saved my life, and I am grateful."

Alexis absorbed the simplicity of his words. "You're welcome," she said softly.

"And you chased away the police for me, for which I am stunned and grateful," he added with a laugh. "Which reminds me, I have a check here for you." He pulled a check from his jacket pocket and handed it to Alexis. "For your representation today. I think that should consecrate the bond of attorney-client privilege."

Alexis glanced at the check and raised an eyebrow. "Indeed, it should. That's a little more than I usually make for fifteen minutes of work. Just to be clear, that was a one time thing, Lorenzo."

"I understand that. Can I ask you something, Alexis?" She nodded. "Why did you do it?"

"Do what? Help you? Jump in that window? Or jump down Taggart's throat?" The morphine was making the whole situation seem a little humorous to Alexis.

"Both. I certainly don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, Alexis, but I'm . . . well, I'm confused. I don't know why you bothered to save my life. I'm pretty sure you hated me. And I think you were afraid I was going to hurt you. I gave you pretty good reason to be afraid."

Alexis considered. He was going to force her to think about this absurd situation seriously. "Oh, I don't know, Lorenzo. I suppose it wasn't really in my self-interest, was it? You're right -- your death would have simplified my life. Removed some of the dark threatening clouds. But, frankly, I wouldn't have slept any better at night if I had let you die. I'm not as cold-hearted or as cold-blooded as you may expect. I don't leave people to die. Look, I didn't risk my life for you; just my limb." Alexis smiled. "I did for you what I would do for anyone."

"Well, thank you. But you did hesitate when you saw it was me, didn't you?" Lorenzo pressed. "It seemed like you made a decision to help me. It wasn't automatic."

"Did I? I really don't know. I think I always hesitate when I see you. It's the fight or flight instinct. You're right - I did hate you, and I was afraid of you. You're a menacing man, and you've turned your menace on me at every opportunity." Lorenzo nodded in acknowledgment, eyes focused on the ground. His sense of shame battled with his sense of duty. "I suppose I was assessing the situation, looking for the trap," Alexis went on. "But I saw that your fear was genuine, and that surprised, hurt note in your voice when you said that Carly had done that to you made you seem very . . . human . . . and familiar. You needed help. I usually help people."

"Okay," Lorenzo said quietly. "Thank you for explaining. For what it's worth, Alexis, I don't leave people to die either. I'm not my brother."

Alexis nodded her head slightly in acknowledgment of his words, but gave nothing away. She had no idea what to make of Lorenzo Alcazar, and didn't trust her instincts.

"I hope you know, Alexis, that you needn't fear my vengeance, nor anticipate my menace, any longer. Any account that remained open between us has been balanced. I am not your enemy. In fact, I hope I can be your friend." Lorenzo tentatively took Alexis's hand.

Alexis tilted her head, but didn't pull her hand away. "Do you really think that's realistic, Lorenzo? There is a lot of blood between us. Your sense of honor may be telling you that I have repaid my debt to you, but can you really forget that I killed your brother? I can tell you that it was self-defense - hell, an accident really - and that he was going to kill me, but he's your brother and he's dead, and I think you'll always hate me at least a little for that."

Lorenzo stared at Alexis's hand in his own. He was deeply conflicted over Luis's death. "Is that what happened, Alexis? He threatened you?"

"He threatened my daughter and he tried to throw me from the balcony, Lorenzo. Somehow he went over instead. I don't know how. He was a lot stronger than me."

"I see." It was painful to hear, but not surprising. "You have a lot of hidden strength, Alexis. If you didn't, I would be dead, and my brother would be alive." He stroked her hand gently, absently. "You weren't really crazy, were you?" It was more a conclusion than a question.

Alexis hesitated. "No, not in the way the court believes," she answered at last, the lawyer in her silenced by the morphine and the warmth of Lorenzo's hand on hers. "Does that make it worse for you?"

"I don't know. I suspected as much. And it made me angry to think that you were getting away with murder. But as much as I loved my brother, I was not blind to his faults, Alexis. I had some idea that he had brought that end upon himself. That's why I never took action against you. I do think I can stop hating you. I think I already have."

Alexis took a deep breath. "Thank you for that. I am glad, Lorenzo. But I don't know if I can do the same. It may not be fair, but I really don't know if I can forget that your brother, a man with your face, killed my sister and left me and my child to die in the snow." A tear rolled down Alexis's cheek at the memory of the fear and worry that had consumed her every day Kristina was in the hospital fighting for her life. She pulled her hand from Lorenzo's grasp to wipe her cheeks. "I would really like to, because I can't stand being reminded of it every time I see you, but I don't know if I can."

Lorenzo's hand followed Alexis's and rested gently on her cheek. "Please believe me when I tell you that I had nothing to do with that warehouse explosion or anything else Luis did in Port Charles. Can you do that?"

Alexis nodded, fighting back the tears. The tenderness of his hand on her cheek seemed to turn on a faucet in her tear ducts. "I'd like to. I think I do. But it doesn't really matter. This is all moot." She took his hand in hers again and pulled it away from her cheek. "Even if we could somehow get past all of this blood, Lorenzo, I can't be your friend or anything else. I'm sorry. It seems like I've been fighting for my daughter her whole life, my whole life. I don't know what the next fight will be, but I know there will be one, and I can't afford to be associated with someone in your line of business. My daughter is the most important thing in the world to me, and I won't jeopardize her safety or happiness for anything."

"Excuse me, Alexis." Bobbie's head appeared through the curtain. "The doctor will be here in just a minute. And you have a visitor." She flashed a big smile.

Lorenzo stood. "Okay, I have to respect that. But I can't say I won't try to change your mind. And keep in mind that you might find it useful to have someone in my line of business, as you put it, in your corner when that next fight comes along. Now, the doctor will be here in a moment. May I stay? I don't want you to go through this alone."

"Alexis isn't alone, Mr. Alcazar," asserted a challenging Aussie voice. The curtain opened and Jax appeared. Alexis's heart leapt, as always, to see his beautiful familiar face, and she smiled a happy welcome. Jax went to her side and kissed her warmly on the mouth, a longer and more intimate kiss than was their custom. He sat at her side and took both her hands in his, careful not to dislodge the i.v. Alexis recognized that Jax was marking his territory, and she was touched in spite of herself.

"Hello, wife," he smiled.

"Hello, husband," she answered.

"I came as soon as Bobbie called."

"She called you? I asked her not to." Alexis tried to frown, but couldn't hide her pleasure at seeing Jax. In the corner, unseen by Jax and Alexis, Lorenzo did frown at their comfortable intimacy.

"Well, I'm glad she did. But she didn't tell me much. What have you done to yourself, o wife of mine? And what is Mr. Alcazar doing here?" he asked more coolly.

"Oh, it's a long and strange story. The short version is that I thought I was you for a moment and tried to play rescue hero. I jumped through a window and turned my ankle. They tell me I broke just about everything in it."

"Ms. Davis is being modest," Lorenzo interjected. "She saved my life."

"And Mr. Alcazar has been tending to me ever since, to the detriment of his own health. You really should see a doctor yourself, Lorenzo," Alexis urged.

"Bobbie said they're going to operate tonight?" Jax questioned. Alexis nodded. "Where is Kristina? Do you need me to get her?" Jax offered.

"No, thanks. She's home with Alice. She should be fine overnight."

"Okay. I'll stay here tonight and go over and check on Kristina in the morning." Jax squeezed Alexis's hands reassuringly. "Mr. Alcazar, thank you for looking after Alexis. I've got it from here," he said dismissively.

Lorenzo suppressed his annoyance for Alexis's sake. She seemed to welcome the safety of Jax's territoriality. "I can see you're in good hands, Alexis," Lorenzo said, pointedly moving to the side of the bed and touching Alexis lightly on the cheek. She flinched lightly, but her eyes locked onto his. "I'll leave my numbers at the nursing desk. If you need anything, call, any time. I'll check in when you're out of surgery."

"Thank you, Lorenzo. For everything," she said meaningfully.

Lorenzo nodded and left, and the curtain closed behind him.

"Well, my wife, you've gone to an awful lot of trouble to get a doctor's note excusing you from Lady Jane's sunrise hikes," Jax jested. "You could have just asked me to forge one for you."

"I wasn't sure you would help. You haven't really been around much, Jax," Alexis said accusingly.

Jax was taken aback by Alexis's tone. She wasn't talking about sunrise hikes, and she was hurt and angry and disappointed in him. He was filled with shame. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I've been a lousy husband, haven't I?"

Alexis nodded sadly, tears filling her eyes. Jax pulled Alexis into his arms, and she hugged him back as tightly as she could. "Oh, Jax," she sobbed. The tears spilled from her eyes and poured down onto Jax's chest, hot burning tears that soaked his shirt and marked his heart with the hours and months and years of her pain and fear and grief and loneliness. He held her until her tears were spent and her sobbing subsided, and then he lay down beside her in the narrow hospital bed and held her until the doctor arrived. He watched over her as she was prepared for surgery, wheeled into the operating room, and put to sleep.

chapter  3