The Long Road Revisited
by Terry

Chapter 5

“I want to know who he is, Alexis.”

Once Johnny composed himself after reading his mother’s letter, Joy informed him that Alexis had called her and briefly explained what was going on and that he needed her to come home. It still amazed him that Alexis could read him well enough to know when to ignore what he said in favor of giving him what he needed. His need to see his wife at the close of his mother’s letter was so great that feeling her arms fall around him didn’t surprise him at all. The two of them sat together and re-read each letter. For Johnny, he needed time for it all to cement together so he could look at it all objectively and for Joy, she needed to catch up so that she understood the reasons Alexis had called telling her to come home, ‘your husband needs you right now more than your patients do’. Now they were both standing in Alexis’ living room. Joy’s hand firmly clutched within Johnny’s.

Alexis moved to stand beside her desk where another file lay. Picking it up she looked intently at Johnny.

“Johnny, Sonny does not know about this file. Nor does he know that you were adopted. I used his resources exclusively to find your mother. After that, everything you have learned is known only by the three of us and anyone your mother cared to share her past with. It is up to you now what you do with the information. What I am asking of you is that you not give Sonny any more ammunition against me where Michael rights are concerned. Will you give me that much?”

Glancing at Johnny Joy felt him tense a little and every ounce of love she felt for him fueled her need to protect him from any more hurt.

“Alexis, I don’t think this is the time to remind Johnny of your concerns regarding Michael. Don’t you think he has enough to deal with right now?”

Alexis understood exactly where Joy’s allegiance was and she didn’t question it in the least. She was proud of Joy for standing up to her for Johnny’s sake. But again, neither one of them knew the whole story yet. She smiled at Joy and reached to grasp her hand briefly to let her know she was still on their side.

“Joy, hurting Johnny is the last thing on my mind. You know how much I love him and you know I would never do anything to intentionally harm him. My only concern is that if Sonny gets wind of what is in that folder… all I’m asking is that we keep this to ourselves for the time being.”

Johnny knew there was something else going on. In watching her converse with Joy, he recognized that she was afraid of what the contents of the file would not only mean to him but it would further cement Sonny’s stand to keep Michael from knowing who AJ was. Every negative thing Johnny was learning about his families past would reaffirm for Sonny it was still in his best interests to keep Michael in the dark. There was also something else he saw in Alexis. Letting go of Joy’s hand, Johnny stepped closer to Alexis and placed both of his hands on her shoulders. Looking into her eyes his heart fell.

“It’s about Nana Rose. There’s something in that file about Nana Rose. What is it, Alexis? Don’t make me read it. Tell me.”

Alexis looked from Johnny to Joy then back to Johnny. From the corner of her eye she saw Joy move up to stand with them.

“Alexis, how bad is it? How much does he have to prepare for what’s in that file?”

Alexis looked from one to the other. Her own heart was hurting for what she was about to do to Johnny. And Joy would be just as hurt because the two of them were already so close that whatever one felt the other felt it as well. Alexis reached up and pushed a lock of hair off Johnny’s forehead then smiled apologetically to them both.

“Come on. Let’s sit down.”

Alexis allowed Johnny and Joy to sit down before she took a seat on the coffee table in front on them. She needed to be as close to them as she could in hopes that just maybe with the three of them together as one, her news would land a little softer.

“Johnny, your mother does not know what’s in this file. She had already left home for the last time when this happened and your Nana made your Papa promise to never tell her.”

Alexis watched Johnny reach for Joy’s hand, heartsick at what he was about to learn. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a moment and steeled herself to continue.

“A couple of days after your mother left, your Nana was taken into custody and charged with attempted murder. The man who raped your mother was found stabbed in the chest and wasn’t expected to live. He fell into a coma on the operating table so no one could question him about the assault. The problem was there were enough people around town who knew your mother was hanging around with him and all of a sudden she was gone. It led everyone to believe that she was guilty. Johnny, mothers will do just about anything to protect their children. Your Nana proved that the day she confessed to attacking that man and was sentenced to 15 years in prison.”

Joy grabbed for Johnny. His face had grown deathly white and he was shaking uncontrollably. Fear struck Joy forcibly and she screamed at Alexis.

“DAMNIT ALEXIS, couldn’t you have prepared him a little before telling him something so horrifying. What’s wrong with you?”

Joy began talking softly to Johnny trying to calm him some. But no matter what she said… it seemed as if he couldn’t hear her.

Alexis reached and took hold of Joy’s arm. When she held her attention, she pleaded with her.

“Let me talk to him, Joy. I know I’m not handling this very well, but I think I can undo some of the damage if you’ll let me try.”

Joy was livid. She was angry with Alexis for doing this to Johnny. In her mind she knew it couldn’t be helped, but it was her heart that was watching Johnny suffer. She raised her eyes to Alexis…

“Is there anything else in that damn file of yours worse than what you’ve already said?”

“No, Joy. It’s done. Please, let me talk to him.”

“Alright, but Alexis, you and I are going to have a major problem if you hurt him anymore.”

“I understand, Joy.”

Alexis drew her attention back to Johnny who remained mute, trying to get his mind wrapped around the fact that his Nana Rose was convicted of attempted murder. She knelt in front of him and placed a hand on each side of his face and forced him to look at her.

“Johnny, listen to me. “ When he started to shake her hands off she tightened her hold and tried again. “Johnny, you have to listen to me. How many years was it between the time your dad died and your Nana Rose came for you? Do the math, Johnny. How many years?”

Johnny slowly brought his eyes up to meet hers. Forcing himself to focus on her question he finally answered with a voice weakened by trauma.

“Five.”

“So something must have happened to set aside the sentence, right?”

He heard her and slowly nodded his head.

At his response, Alexis continued.

“One week after the sentence was handed down the man regained consciousness and correctly identified the person responsible for the attack. Your Nana was released instantly. She spent only a couple of days in jail and eventually the whole mess died down and people went on about their business. Your mother never knew what happened and the case files were sealed.”

Johnny breathed deeply and again asked the question he and Joy had come to ask Alexis what seemed like hours ago.

“Who was he, Alexis? Who was my real father?”

Alexis could not ignore the similarities between Johnny and Michael and her answer proved it.

“Your real father was John Edmund O’Brien. Your biological father is Charles Stanford Fern.”

Joy couldn’t believe she heard Alexis right. She turned to Alexis with a frown on her face.

“Who did you say was his father?

“His biological father is Charles Stanford Fern. Have you heard of him, Joy?”

Alexis knew who the man was and she suspected Joy knew him as well. Joy’s response confirmed her suspicions.

Johnny looked at Joy and saw the shock on her face.

“What? Joy tell me! What do you know about him? Who is he?”

Joy took both of Johnny’s hands into her own and looked at him intently, vaguely aware that Alexis had moved away to sit on the other sofa.

“Johnny, Charles Fern is the founder of Ferncliff Sanitarium and several other institutions in the New York area. He also donates any proceeds above the costs of the institutions to the Port Charles Rape Crisis Center. Whatever free time he has he spends it at the center counseling women who are victims of rape. He is known all over the state as the person to go to if a woman is in trouble. It’s become an institutional joke of sorts, but the man drives a beat up old Chevy truck because he refuses to spend any more money on his personal needs than he absolutely has to. He’s a bit of a recluse. No one ever sees him except when he’s doing something for one of the institutions or the crisis center.”

Joy turned her focus to Alexis dumbfounded.

“Alexis, are you sure that’s Johnny’s father.”

“Positive.”

“ I want to see him.”

Joy and Alexis stared at Johnny as if he had finally lost his mind. They both reached for him simultaneously, but it was Joy who spoke first.

“Sweetheart, why? Ok, maybe that’s not the best question at the moment. But, I don’t understand why you would want to put yourself through that. Haven’t you suffered enough?”

Johnny put his arm around Joy and drew her closer. He didn’t really have a very clear answer to give her. What he needed was time. Time to review and hopefully come to terms with all that he now knew of his past and the lives of his mother and father. He needed time to deal with what his Nana had done for a woman whose early life read like a horror story. He needed time to deal with the fact that his ‘real’ father was alive out there somewhere. Johnny shook his head a couple of times to clear it. His mother and father… alive. His Nana and Papa… gone. How cruel he thought fate to be… to mercilessly tear apart the childhood of a little boy who wanted nothing more than to feel safe and loved. Johnny needed time… and he needed his Nana Rose.

Looking at the two women who sat waiting patiently to do anything they could for him, Johnny smiled wanly and stood urging them up with him. He put his arms around Alexis and held on tight for a few moments before releasing her to gaze intently into her eyes. He drew his fingers down the side of her face as he shared his thoughts with her.

“You know how much I love you, Alexis. And you know I would move heaven and earth for whatever you needed. It had to have been pretty rough on you pulling all that stuff together, but you did it anyway knowing what it would mean to me. You gave me a family today and for that I will forever be indebted to you.” Johnny watched a tear fall down her cheek and pulled her fiercely into his arms needing desperately for her to know how much she meant to him. He moved his head just enough to where his mouth barely grazed her ear and pleaded… “don’t ever doubt how much I love and trust you. It’s you and me partner… just like a few months ago. I helped you pull your life back together and now you’re doing the same thing for me. You and me, Alexis; we need each other. We will always have this thing between us that can’t be shaken or broken. Now, I need to take some time to come to terms with all of this… you know, so it makes sense. Will you take care of Joy for me until I get back? Keep her from worrying about me. Can you do that for me, partner? She is the most precious treasure in my life and you are the only one I trust enough to leave her with while I do what I have to.”

Alexis grabbed hold of Johnny and hugged him tight. Her heart bleeding from the love and pain she heard in his voice. Laying her cheek along side his, she whispered, “Go do what you have to. I’ll stay here with Joy and we’ll find something to occupy the time until you get back. If you need either one of us, we’ll be right here… we’re not going anywhere. Now, I’m going to go see if I can make a decent pot of coffee while you talk to Joy.”

Alexis stepped away from Johnny and reached to squeeze Joy’s hand for support then turned toward the kitchen. Just as she reached the door she looked around once more and caught Johnny’s attention… “give Nana a kiss for me too.”

Johnny smiled at Alexis. She knew where he was headed and she was letting him know it. He winked at her, then returned his full attention to his wife.

“Joy, I need to take a little trip. I won’t be gone but a couple of hours at the most. So much has hit me and I just need a little time to make it all fit where it’s supposed to. Would you mind staying here with Alexis until I get back? I don’t want you to be alone, but I also don’t want to see anyone but you when I get back. So, could you give me a couple of hours then meet me back at our place?”

Joy was worried. She didn’t want him out there alone. She knew where he was going and she knew why. Everyone who ever meant anything to him had kept him in the dark about so many things he felt he should have been told. Johnny was going back to his roots; to the one woman who saved his life when he was a small lonely little boy who simply wanted to be loved.

Johnny needed to find a bit of peace for his tortured heart. And in his mind he remembered sitting at the feet of a wise and loving woman who knew how to explain the troubles of life in a way he could understand. Johnny was going ‘home’ to his Nana Rose. He would sit by her grave until he remembered enough of her quiet words, loving smiles, and gay laughter that the bitter resentfulness that now filled his heart would quietly melt away.