The Long Road Home
by Terry

Chapter 85

Sonny returned from the store a couple of hours before Joy and Johnny came in from their day out together. Rather than take the chance on waking Alexis, he let himself into her suite quietly and silently deposited his armload in the kitchen before going to check on her.

He stood unmoving in her doorway and drank in the sight of her as she lay sleeping peacefully. In slumber Alexis looked tranquil; magically all of the lines of worry, unease and apprehension fell away and the tiniest of smiles graced her face. One hand lie beneath her cheek while the other lay close against her chest. Catching sight of something clutched within her hand, Sonny looked closer and realized it was some kind of paper with graphs on it. With it held so close to her heart, Sonny knew it must mean a great deal to her and speculated a moment as to its importance to her. He made a mental note to ask her at a later date. Letting his gaze take in the wonder of her, his heart filled with the need to touch her. Quietly approaching the end of the bed, he leaned forward and carefully crawled up beside her. Laying down beside her she began to stir and he whispered in her ear...

"No, don't move, it's just me. I couldn't resist the urge to just hold you for a while. Go back to sleep, Alexis. I just want to hold you that's all."

Feeling his arms go around her and pull her close to his chest, Alexis sighed contentedly. And just before sleep claimed her again, she whispered with a voice low and unintentionally seductive...

"You feel good... "

Sonny smiled and kissed her just behind her ear. Relaxing into the feel of her, Sonny wrapped his arms tighter around her, closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Laying there beside her, all of his dreams... every want... every desire... everything he ever wanted before Alexis entered his life faded away. He now held within the circle of his arms his life... the reason for his existence... his world. As he relaxed his arms and settled them more comfortably around her he suddenly felt something move beneath his arm. Instantly realizing what he felt, he moved his hand up to rest where he again felt the movement and a tear slipped from the corner of his eye and dropped to the pillow beneath his head. His child... his very own flesh and blood... his little girl... his and Alexis'. His baby girl was making herself known to her daddy unaware of the tears that flowed from eyes softened by the love of a woman who forgave him and was now teaching him how to forgive. Trying desperately to control the trembling of his body so as not to waken Alexis, Sonny lost himself in a moment of pure joy at the gifts he had been given.

In sleep Alexis felt her child move within her and let go of the CT scan that Johnny gave her only few days before and joined her hand with the one that gently caressed the wee babe that lay within the comfort of her mother's womb. Their child... hers and Sonny's... her small beautiful family... entwining her fingers with his she dropped into a deeper sleep satisfied that her family was together, safe and happy.

***************

Alexis sat in Kevin's waiting room the next morning patiently waiting for him to arrive. She arrived early on purpose. Joy and Johnny were understandably on cloud nine this morning after setting up their first home together the day before. She was so happy for them; their excitement was incredibly infectious and Alexis wanted to enjoy it with them, but this morning she simply wanted some quiet time to reflect on the previous evening's activities.

Sonny surpassed himself in the meal he prepared for the four of them. He and Johnny worked together in the kitchen while Alexis and Joy sat in the living room talking about nothing in particular. They were simply enjoying being two women with sometimes-varied interests and at times being thrilled to find they shared some of the same interests. Alexis couldn't remember a time in her life that she felt so completely happy and fulfilled. She was in awe of the absolute unfamiliar feeling of being so content. She held onto it in her heart because she knew there would come a time in her life, in both her life and Sonny's that she would need to be able to recall this feeling. She understood and accepted that she was born into a life of uncertainty. There was nothing she could do to change it; it was simply a fact that had to be accepted. As she and Joy sat there discussing what type of décor Alexis wanted in little Kristina's nursery she heard Sonny's deep rumbling laugh and before she could stop it found herself smiling at the pure enjoyment she heard in his voice. Bringing her attention back to Joy, she blushed at being caught letting her attention be drawn away from their conversation then chuckled at Joy's response.

"You know, Alexis, I don't think I've ever heard him laugh like that before. He has a beautiful laugh."

"Yes, he does. Care to know a little secret just between us girls?"

"Spill it, girlfriend... "

Alexis couldn't believe she was fixing to express what she was thinking.

"That sound literally makes me come unglued inside."

Joy laughed and lightly tapped Alexis on the arm.

"As if that were any secret judging by the look on your face, Alexis Davis. You couldn't hide anything you felt deep in your soul where Sonny is concerned if you tried. You're just like an old sponge. You'll soak up anything where that man is concerned."

Alexis leaned back and laughed till her sides hurt. It was so good to feel alive and completely loved. Her laughter died as she spotted Sonny peeking around the corner to see what was going on. The look on his face melted her insides.

"You wouldn't happen to be eavesdropping on a private conversation would you, Mr. Corinthos?"

"Not me, Ms. Davis. I just wanted to get a look at that beautiful face of yours again. I missed it. You sound like you're having fun."

"I am. Now go on about your business. This is girl talk and men aren't allowed."

"Ok, I'll buy that for a little longer, but then it's my turn again. Dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes. Okay with you?"

"Perfect."

As Sonny turned to go back to the kitchen he heard her call softly...

"Sonny?"

Turning back he found her face slightly flushed and he raised his eyes questioningly.

"I love you."

His grin complete with dimples blazing thrilled her heart.

"Back at ya, sweetness. 15 minutes?"

"Can't wait."

Alexis watched him disappear and turned back to Joy who was doing everything possible to keep from laughing outright.

"What?"

"You two give me a cavity just watching you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I mean it's just so sweet!"

"Like how you and Johnny have been for the past couple of weeks? Pot... meet kettle."

Joy couldn't hold it any longer and let it go, laughing hysterically.

"Ok, Ok. So we're both guilty now. I love it. I just simply love it."

************

Her daydreaming came to an abrupt halt as she felt her shoulder being shaken. Looking up she found Kevin standing beside her.

"Where were you, Alexis? I called your name I know 3 times and you didn't even hear me."

"Hi Kevin. I'm sorry. I was just... oh never mind. You had to be there. Can we get this thing started? I'm a bit anxious to get it over with."

"Sure thing. Come on."

Entering his office they both took their seats and Alexis handed Kevin the folder that contained her preliminary discharge forms. She sat back and waited for him to look it over.

"Alexis you didn't sign your 'Patient Discharge Approval' form. Did you have a problem with it?

"Actually I did. There are a couple of items I'd like to discuss with you."

"What? Are you really going to try and negotiate your release, Alexis?"

"No, just a few of the terms. For instance, why must I come back here once a month for six months? From the looks of it you are already going to be checking up on me whether I agree to it or not."

"Alexis, this is for your own good."

"I've heard that one before. Especially when someone else thinks they know what is best for me. Tell you what, I'll agree to 3 visits somewhere other than Ferncliff. Deal?"

"I'll agree to 5 and make them an 'in home' visit."

"4 'in home' visits and you've got a deal."

"I'll agree to 4 'in home' visits if the negotiating stops here."

Alexis sat back with an exasperated sigh. There were two other items that presented a bit of a problem for her, but the question now became, were the other items more important than the agreed upon 4 remaining visits. Recalling those items she quickly re-evaluated their importance to her. Providing a schedule of her activities was in her opinion intrusive and meddlesome. However, if she just gave him a general idea... work, home, a few dinners out; she could do that. And the fact that her total release would not occur it seemed for some time was highly irritating. She wanted this experience over.

"Just how long do you expect to hold the date of my final release over my head?"

"As long as it takes to satisfy myself that you are safe from a relapse. At least 4 months at this point. Should everything go well, I should be able to release you on the date of our final appointment."

Alexis put her mind to work again. 'Since I'm going to have to see him another 4 times then I'll just have to make sure that the last appointment goes my way.'

"Fine, we have a deal then. Four 'in home' sessions and I drop the other items."

"Fine. Now, I see you've answered the questionnaire."

Kevin took a moment to look over her answers, shook his head and looked back up at her with a frustrated expression on his face.

"Alexis, what's with the answers... the attitude?"

Alexis returned Kevin's gaze indignantly.

"I answered them as honestly and as forthright as I could. I can't help it if I found the whole thing brainless and demeaning."

"That was not what was intended. The purpose was to see how well you can express yourself in the telling of your experience."

"I thought I did very well in expressing myself. There was only one question on that form that warranted a well thought out answer. And that question was if I understood why I was confined. My answer was 'yes'. Enough said."

Kevin dropped his head into his hands. The woman was absolutely the most frustrating... But, from the moment she walked into his office this morning, he knew that she had taken control of her life back and would not allow him to take advantage of the fact that she was still legally under his care. He was proud of her; proud of the progress she made. Maybe he just needed to give her a break and lighten up on the regulations a bit.

"Alexis, how are you doing? And by that I mean, how well are you processing things now?"

"I happen to think I'm doing extremely well. I understand a lot more about myself than I did before I came here and that is helping to alleviate a lot of the stress I normally live with. I'm fine. Really."

"I imagine it's great to have your confidant back?"

"Yes."

"You've gained a couple of good friends."

"Yes."

"You have your memory back and seem to have handled it well."

"Yes.

"Alexis, is that all I'm going to get out of you? One word answers."

"What is it you're looking for, Kevin? I understand what happened to me. I dealt with it. Very well I think. Yes, I gained two very good friends from this experience. And also yes, I'm happy to have Sonny back in my life. What more do you want?"

"Perhaps a little excitement about going home."

"I'm excited. I'm just not jumping up and down. Would you prefer I jump up and down?"

It finally dawned on Kevin what the problem was.

"Wait, I remember now. I did say we would discuss this fear you have about leaving here, didn't I?"

Alexis stood up and headed toward the window.

"It doesn't make sense to me. Why would I feel fear about leaving when that is the very thing I've wanted ever since I woke up here?"

"Think about it, Alexis. Here you have been protected. In fact, you've never been as safe as you have been here with us. You've been shielded from the outside world. Someone has been with you almost every moment whose only goal was to see to your every need. Every need of yours has been met, sometimes before you even knew what the need was. It is a perfectly normal response to feel fear about walking away from that kind of care. What you have to do is remember the good things you'll be taking with you when you walk out that front door."

"You're right. I owe Johnny. I owe him a lot. I don't know that I could have made it without him. Joy as well."

"You might want to take some time today and let them know that."

"I intend to do just that. Are we done here? Are you actually going to allow me to go home?"

"Yes. You may check out first thing in the morning."

"Why not today?"

"Because I want you to meditate today on what you have accomplished here. I want you to consider your frame of mind before you came here and what it is now. The object is to begin teaching yourself ways to keep yourself from reaching a point so low that your body takes over and does what it needs to in order to survive. Over the next couple of months, I want you to try and stay aware of how you respond to different circumstances. And begin asking yourself if you handled it in a rational manner. Other than that, I would only ask that you slow down and start taking a second look at the things that give you pleasure. And stop being so hard on yourself. But, we'll get to that later."

"That's it?"

"Well just one more thing."

Kevin rose from his chair and reached for her. He pulled her into a big bear hug and squeezed tightly then let go.

"I just want you to know that I'm proud of you. What you have accomplished here in so short a time is remarkable. I'm more impressed with you than I ever was before. You simply amaze me, Alexis. People like you are why I stay in this business. But, I also have a favor to ask of you. I want you to talk to Johnny. I think he could have a future here with us. Something like what he did with you. See if you can get him to come by and talk to me. I'll do whatever I can to help him get started."

Flustered and embarrassed at Kevin's physical demonstration of affection, Alexis shyly reached up and kissed him lightly on the cheek. He did more for her with his request than he could possibly know. If nothing else, taking such an interest in Johnny's future was the one thing he could have done that would secure a place for him in her own heart.

"I'll talk to him today. And thank you, Kevin. Not just for wanting to help Johnny, but for what you've done for me as well. As much as I hate to admit it... you do have a way of getting me to look at things differently. Thank you for all you've done for me while I was here."

"Don't you mean what you would actually allow me to do?"

"I was a little hard on you, but I'm sure you understand why now."

"Yes, I understand why and I'm not offended by it. You did what needed to be done and you did it well. Now all you have to do is take care of yourself and I think you are better equipped now than you were before."

"Yes, I think I am. But, just in case... I would like a copy of that book you loaned me. Can you tell me where I might purchase one?"

Kevin reached behind him and opened his desk drawer and pulled out a brightly wrapped package and handed it to her.

"I thought you might want a copy. So, from me to you as a going away present."

Alexis was astounded and suddenly overcome with a flood of gratitude for Kevin. Reaching for the book a laminated card dropped and swung freely from the ribbon it was attached to. A questioning look crossed her face as she reached for it to see what it was. With a bright, delighted and grateful smile she looked back up at Kevin holding tight to the card that listed her 10 individual rights.

"You do have your ways don't you?"

"I try. Actually, I thought it might come in handy for you."

"Pretty perceptive on your part I think. I'll have to find somewhere to put this where I can read it and study it often. Thank you, Kevin. For the card and the book. I think I got more out of this book than I realized. It kind of sneaks up on you when you're not looking and answers a lot of the questions you've always had about yourself and then some you weren't aware of at all."

"Yes, It does. Now go on and get out of here before you get mushy on me. Take it easy today and just relax. Tomorrow is going to be hectic and emotionally draining for you. So start today preparing yourself."

"I'll do that."

Alexis went to the door and just as she opened it, turned back once and smiled at Kevin. Somewhere deep inside she knew she was going to miss his steady calming presence. She may have given him a hard time, but she knew he was just as committed to her well-being as Johnny was and it allowed her to do what was necessary to pull her life back together. Suddenly needing to give him more...

"I don't take lightly what you did for me, Kevin. And just between the two of us, I will never again doubt the worth of your career choice. Thank you for making a difficult time easier for me. You did what you had to in order for me to get better and I owe you a great deal. I... I just wanted you to know that."

Kevin's eyes lit up and a smile of satisfaction fell on his face. In giving him her acceptance and gratitude for his help, Alexis dispelled any doubts that remained about the level of care he provided her while under his protective watch. She was indeed a marvel and a first class gentlewoman... one that he would look in on from time to time under the guise of professional courtesy. No one need ever know that he had taken such a personal interest in her that he now felt it a privilege and an honor to furtively continue to keep track of her just in case she got into trouble again.

"Go on with you. Next thing you know, you'll be accusing me of getting a swelled head."

She laughed and lifted her hand to wave once.

"Bye, Kevin."

"See ya."