The Long Road Home
by Terry

Chapter 72

Alexis closed her bedroom door when Johnny left and went to sit in the easy chair beside her window. Allowing herself to relax a bit, she could finally admit that seeing Sonny sitting outside her door had thrown her. It took all the restraint and control she possessed to keep it together until she could get into her room. Leaning forward she dropped her head into her hands. She couldn’t ever remember feeling so alone in her whole life… and yet it was Sonny who sat outside her door ready to provide her with whatever she needed. Sonny…

Closing her eyes and leaning back again, Alexis remembered… remembered words spoken in anger, with grief so overwhelming it took your breath away. She remembered eyes full of tears that couldn’t be released lest someone see a forbidden weakness. His eyes… his beautiful eyes full of sadness… soft with regret… with concern… for her. She remembered…

I don’t know what anyone would do without you seeing to everything. I mean, that’s what you do. You are the all-knowing, almighty, all-powerful mobster. Do you even care that you’re poison? That anyone who goes near you is risking their life?

Someone tried to kill you, and my sister lost her life instead. Isn’t that what happened to your first wife? Why couldn’t it ever be you? Why aren’t you lying under a white sheet in the ICU?

You must be so proud of your right hand boy. He’s almost like family, and we all know what family means to you.

I’m afraid that we haven’t made our Sonny very happy, but not to worry. No one ever has. But many have died trying. Do you think you’re the only person who understands family? My family, the Cassadines, were staging deadly vendettas while your ancestors were working our fields with the other peasants. I could, in the honor of my family tradition, declare revenge on you, I could place a curse on you. I could vow to make you pay, but that would be redundant. And it certainly wouldn’t be necessary at all because you are already cursed. You bring death where you go. But I survived, unlike your mother, or Lily, or her unborn child. Or Brenda… or your unborn child.

That’s his crowning achievement – everybody dies around him yet he is the one that always lives! I mean, really? Isn’t it amazing? Isn’t it extraordinary? I mean, it’s just unbelievable! It is so unbelievable that I feel compelled to give you a prize. So here! Take it! You killed her; you earned it. Put it on your mantle and remember what you’ve done and who’s paid the price. TAKE IT!

Pulling herself together and wiping the tears away, Alexis stood and left her bedroom. Walking through the living room, she turned toward the front door. Placing her hand on the doorknob, she hesitated a moment then quietly opened it wide. Leaning against the doorframe, she crossed her arms and leveled an intense glare at Sonny as he rose from his chair.

"I have just one question right now. Just give me the answer and nothing more, If you can’t hold your comments to just the answer, let me know now."

"I’ll do my best, Alexis."

"Fine. After what I said to you at the hospital… at… at the service… for my sister… after I said all those things… why are you still here?"

Sonny took a small step forward then stopped. He knew it would be a matter of time before she asked. She did everything… said everything she could to turn him away from her. And here he sat… waiting… patiently for some small bit of recognition from her. Sitting calmly and waiting for anything always seemed to be a waste of time of time for him. But, this was different. This time he was waiting for his life to begin. He smiled a bit hesitantly then answered as honestly as he knew how.

"No matter how much you hated me… you and I could never hide form one another. As much as you knew the words would hurt me… they hurt you just as much to say them. I knew what you were doing. I didn’t know all of the reasons behind it at the time, but I knew you were just trying to force me to walk away, to turn my back on you. How could I hold it against you when all you were doing was trying to protect yourself from me? At the pain I caused you. At least that’s what I thought at the time. But, I couldn’t walk away. I did what you expected me to do… I put distance between us physically. But, I left with you that part of me that only you could see…"

Alexis felt herself waiver and straightened up. She couldn’t let him get to her… she couldn’t handle those emotions yet. So she stopped him.

"That’s enough, Sonny. You’ve answered my question. That’s all I wanted you to do."

Sonny instantly recognized she was retreating and took a step backward to make sure she didn’t feel intimidated by him in any way.

"Is there anything you need, Alexis? Anything I can get for you?"

Alexis needed to push him away from her. Even though he now stood a good 4 feet away, he was still too close.

"No. I think I have all that I’m supposed to have now. Everyone who was ever able to touch the deepest part of me is now gone. My mother… Chloe… Kristina… you… You took yourself out of the picture. Who knows, maybe next time it will be me that pays the ultimate price and I won’t ever have to go through the agony of having my world ripped apart again. But, what about my daughter! How do I protect her from you and your life; from my world and me… How am I supposed to keep her safe from us? Think about that for a while, Sonny."

Sonny took a step closer and looked at her steadily without any doubts… without any questions… without a second thought…

"I’m not gone, Alexis. All I asked is that you remember me. Remember who we both were just a few hours ago. We can work this out… if you’ll just give us a chance. I’m here… I’m not leaving. I made you a promise that I intend to keep. Give me all you got… yell at me, ignore me, blame me for everything… whatever it takes. Do whatever you need to in order to get through this, but listen to me Alexis… I’m not walking away this time."

Without a word Alexis turned away from him and closed the door behind her. Sonny sank into his chair and covered his face with his hands exhaling rapidly the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. It was going to be rough, but what he saw when she closed the door gave him hope. It wasn’t much, just a flicker, But, he saw it. There was now a definite crack in the armor that she surrounded herself with.

"Sonny?"

Sonny lifted his head to find Kevin standing beside him.

"Hey, Kev."

"I was just informed by the administrators that an enormous contribution was just made to this institution. As recent as this morning it seems. The only stipulation was that a certain suite be reserved until further notice; that one right behind you as a matter of fact. What are you up to, Sonny?"

"Just returning a favor. That’s all."

"What kind of favor?"

"Doesn’t matter. Alexis knows and that’s what’s important."

Kevin sat down on the floor beside Sonny and settled himself as comfortably as possible then looked up at the man beside him who hated telling secrets.

"Tell me."

Sonny looked down at Kevin and shook his head.

"Isn’t it enough that you have most of my secrets already. Why don’t you let me keep the rest?"

"I’ll tell you why, Sonny. Everything that you are has become a very real part of that lady on the other side of that door… just as she is a very real part of you. You both have issues that still need to be dealt with whether you like it or not. So tell me. Why have you taken up residence across the hall from Alexis and more importantly why are you sitting out here alone in the hall in one of the most uncomfortable chairs we have around here."

Sonny stood up and walked a few steps away. He turned and looked back at the chair. A card table chair. Metal, cold, uninviting, but absolutely familiar and perfect. He smiled, remembering.

"I have this thing about confined spaces. Last time they locked me up, Alexis sat with me and kept me company until they released me."

Becoming totally exasperated with his lack of understanding, Kevin threw up his hands and stood up.

"I don’t get it. I simply do not understand why you keep up with this."

Sonny frowned in confusion.

"Keep up with what? What are you talking about, Kevin?"

"This life you lead. Why do you keep on with it when you know what it can cost you… what it has already cost you… when it continues to take so much from you? Please… I beg you, Mr. Corinthos… explain it to me if you can."

"I chose this life because I never wanted anybody to be able to touch me."

Kevin snorted derisively at Sonny’s response.

"Well you certainly did get what you wanted, didn’t you? No one can touch you… at least not physically that is."

"What are you saying?"

"Just that no one touches you… physically."

Sonny glared at Kevin in an intolerant manner.

"You want to drop the word games and tell me what you’re getting at?"

"I’m not playing any word games, Sonny; you know exactly what I’m saying."

Sonny walked into his suite and pulled another chair out into the hall.

"Sit down."

"Excuse me?"

Expelling an aggravated sigh, Sonny added the magic word.

"…Please."

"I take it you want to talk?"

"I want you to tell me what you’re talking about."

Kevin sat down and motioned for Sonny to join him.

"I’m not sure you’re ready for this, Sonny. But, since you don’t seem willing to let it go; I’ll go ahead with it. When was the last time you let someone get close enough to you where what they wanted or needed made any difference to you… caused you to change your mind about something?"

"Alexis. And I won’t go into the details."

"I’m not asking you to. What I am asking is… was she the only one and what prevented you two from staying together?"

"I don’t allow people to tell me what to do or not do with my business. It’s none of their concern. You let people get too close and things get sloppy. It gets more dangerous. So, you draw the lines and you don’t let anyone cross them."

Kevin shook his head with frustration.

"And you didn’t answer either one of my questions. What’s the problem, Sonny? Afraid of the answers… afraid of the truth?"

Sonny stood abruptly and walked down the hall a bit then came back again to stand beside the chair he just vacated. He stared at Kevin.

"I’m not afraid of anything…"

Before he could finish his sentence, Kevin interrupted him.

"You sure about that? Aren’t you afraid of Alexis… for Alexis… because of Alexis… because of what she means to you? But most of all because you’ve never in your life put anyone else’s needs before your own and it scares the hell out of you that if you want Alexis you are going to have to make some changes in how you deal with thing… with people… with her."

The rage in Sonny was becoming uncontrollable. Rage that Kevin would speak to him in such a manner and rage toward himself, because there was truth in what he was hearing. With his most effective ‘mob boss’ face he warned Kevin.

"You’re stepping over a line here, Kevin that you don’t want to cross. I gave you a little freedom to say whatever you thought you needed to during all of this, but this time you went too far. You need to back off now."

Kevin stood up so that Sonny had less of an advantage over him and faced him without flinching.

"Why because you can’t handle the truth? Because you know that what I’m saying is the truth and you know that the woman who sits on the other side of that door is going to need more from you than you have ever been willing to give another human being in your life. And it simply scars the hell out of you that you may not be able to give her what she needs."

"That’s enough, Kevin."

Both men turned instantly at the sound of her voice echoing in the hall with strength and determination.

"You will not attack him in this manner outside my door."

When Alexis closed the door after her brief confrontation with Sonny, she heard Kevin arrive outside her door. Knowing she shouldn’t have, she stayed close to the door to eavesdrop on their conversation. Standing there quietly, the more she overheard… the angrier she became. It was one thing for her to call Sonny’s bluff… it was quite another for someone else to question his actions regarding her and his past relationships. Alexis turned her focus to Sonny when she finished speaking to Kevin.

"For some reason, maybe because he thinks he owes me something; but for some reason he thinks he has to sit outside my door until… well, whatever… that is his prerogative. It is a free world, but I will not be subjected to the sound of you attacking him without provocation. Am I making myself clear, Kevin?"

Kevin moved closer to her and stopped. What he saw in her eyes made him smile. There was the fire he remembered so well. Alexis was fighting again and he wanted to jump up and own with excitement.

"If that’s the kind of response I’m going to get out of you when I try to sell a little truth to ‘mob boy’ here… then I’ll do it every chance I get."

"And if you do, then you can just march yourself right back down that hall and get my discharge documents ready to be signed. I don’t like being played, Kevin. I never liked it when Sonny played me, I don’t like it when Johnny does it either. Unlike you though, they both have in some way earned the right to do so from time to time. But from you, I won’t allow it."

Sonny stood by silently while Kevin and Alexis exchanged their threats. It gave him a chance to think about what Kevin was telling him before Alexis came out of her room. Stepping closer, he finally addressed them both.

"Kevin, lay off Alexis. She’s got more than enough to deal with without you pushing her any further. And Alexis, thank you for coming to my defense, but what he said was right and I needed to hear it. I am going to have to face a few things…"

Before he could finish, the attention of all three was pulled to the nurse’s station at the end of the hall. The commotion was so loud that it brought Johnny out into the hall to stand with them.

Three of the four instantly recognized the voice that was causing the pandemonium, but only two of them moaned in fury and annoyance. Alexis stood without making a move or a sound. She mentally began building up what reserves she had left and straightened up putting on the mask that was so familiar to her when she was forced to deal with Carly.