The Long Road Home
by Terry

Chapter 68

"How does it feel to be on this side?"

Johnny and Sonny were sitting at one of the cafeteria tables nursing their cups of coffee together. Staring into his cup, Johnny barely heard the question from Sonny, but knew instantly what he was talking about.

"Frankly, I don't know how you've done it as long as you have. I know I don't have as much on the line with her as you do, but I gotta tell you... this is the toughest thing I believe I've ever had to do. I mean just sitting here and waiting... not knowing what to do or if you're going to be allowed to do anything at all to help. And scared of what's going on inside her head... Man, you got more stamina than I do."

Shaking his head back and forth Sonny smiled sadly.

"It’s got nothing to do with stamina. What else can I do? She's always held all the cards, whether she knows it or not. But a woman like her is worth waiting for. I just didn't see it soon enough. So if this is what she wants... for now, I wait. It's all I can do. I made her a promise that I intend to keep. I'm not going anywhere... and neither are you. I almost caved a few minutes ago. You know, what I always used to do when things don’t go my way or something slams into me that I‘m not prepared for. I can't do that this time. I won't. I can't change what happened to cause all of this. But, I can do everything in my power to help change the way we all handle it now that we’re facing it all again. Alexis and I both ran away from it in our own way. She was running from a lot more than I was though. I lost her. She lost a whole lot more... again. She's been subjected to loss after loss after loss all her life and hasn't got much to show for what she has left."

"But you've lost just as much as she has, Sonny."

"No, not quite. Her family is gone... at least all that she could call family. Her so-called friends don't count for much, present company excluded of course. She put everything she had left into her work... into me... into whatever made her feel something... she held onto anything that she felt gave her life meaning. Everything that that kept her on solid ground... kept her focused was finally ripped away from her. And there I stood right in the middle of it all. I was just too much of a fool to see it. Now she has our daughter. Everything she felt for me, her sister, her mother... anyone who ever meant anything to her... all of that is now reserved for our baby. I can see why she hid her from me... I don't like it... I have to force myself not to dwell on it because I get crazy when I do. The child is mine just as much as it is hers, but because of all that she has lost and the way she lost it... she made her every day existence all about protecting the child from anything and everything that she saw as a threat to her. And that most definitely included me. But, I can't fault her for it. Look at all that she has gone through the last year. Can you blame her for how she chose to handle it all?"

Johnny shook his head slowly back and forth. He didn’t agree with Sonny.

"I'm sorry, Sonny. But, this wasn't what she chose. People don't choose to sit day after day staring straight ahead not seeing anything... not aware of anything around them. I think she just finally let go of the fight and it was too much for her and this is where she ended up. She let her guard down not realizing what the outcome would be. I'm not a doctor or anything, but I can't see her taking the same road twice that put her here."

Sonny looked up and studied Johnny intently.

"So you don't think we have to worry about her slipping away again?"

Johnny knew that as much as Sonny was trying to be strong, he was also trying to grab onto any kind of reassurances he could at this point.

"How many times have you known her to fight for someone she loves? And I'm not referring to that unexplainable need she has to keep people like Jax and Ned around her. I mean for those people who mean the world to her. Like you for instance. She fights relentlessly and without regard for the people that hold a very special place in her heart. Don't you think that now that she knows what the dangers are she will be more cautious in how she handles things for the sake of the child?"

"Perhaps you're right. But, I don't want to take any chances. Just as soon as she allows you back in, you stay close to her. Get her to talk about everything. Do whatever you have to, but just keep her with us."

"I'll do the best I can, Sonny. For my own reasons, I don't want to lose her again either. So what are you going to do while all of this is playing out?"

Sonny sat there for a few moments trying to figure out what he could do for Alexis. An image came into his mind at the last moment and he smiled.

"I'm going to do for her exactly what she did for me!"

"And what was that?"

"Never mind! Look, I've got something I need to take care of. Since she's not going to be looking for me for a while, now is as good a time as any to take care of it. Call me if anything happens, ok?"

"Sure. Any idea how long you'll be?"

"Just long enough to take Courtney home and make a couple of phone calls. Shouldn't take more than an hour at the most."

Sonny rose from his chair and offered his hand to Johnny. Grasping it tightly he spoke with great care and feeling.

"Thank you, Johnny. For all you've done for her. I will be in your debt for the rest of my life. Whatever you need... whenever... you just call and I'll be there."

Johnny felt a lump grow in his throat at the absolute sincerity he heard in Sonny's voice. He honestly felt that he could now say he had two good friends. He was a lucky man indeed.

"Likewise, Sonny. If Joy and I can ever do anything for you... legally that is ... you just call."

Sonny laughed at Johnny's attempt to bring a little levity into the conversation to break up the seriousness.

"I'm afraid of what Alexis would do to me if it wasn't a legal favor. Remember Zander."

"Yeah. I'd say you learned your lesson on that one whether you want to admit it or not."

Sonny grew serious as a thought came to him.

"Johnny, do you think it would help Alexis if Zander came to see her? They really did make a pretty good connection with each other. The boy means a lot to her."

Johnny thought about Sonny's suggestion for a minute before answering.

"I honestly don't know, Sonny. Maybe not right now, but in a few days... maybe it wouldn't hurt for her to have someone else around that cares a lot about her. Do you think we should call Ned or maybe Jax?"

"Absolutely not."

Sonny stopped a moment and considered the reasoning behind his answer before continuing.

"She would be quite upset that we were discussing something like this behind her back, but I just don't think that bringing those two around could help in any way right now. With Zander, I think we can impress upon him the urgency of being here for her... concentrating on what she needs. But Ned and Jax will try to start dictating how she should act, feel, do... know what I'm saying."

Johnny nodded his agreement.

"Yeah. I've had enough run-ins with them to know exactly what you mean and I happen to agree with you. So for now, we give it a couple of days then we'll see where we go. Thanks, Sonny."

"For what?"

Johnny looked up a little sheepishly and answered in an almost inaudible voice.

"For not checking out on me. I needed you to stick with me and help me out and you did. Thanks."

"No problem."

Both men turned as they heard Joy call to them. Johnny stood up and walked toward her.

"Joy, what's wrong? Is it Alexis?"

"Yes. Kevin left just a minute ago. He asked that we give Alexis about half an hour then for me to come get you to go in and be with her. But, before I could she came out and asked if I could find you now. She sounded like she really wanted talk to you. Then she asked Courtney to go make a phone call for her."

Johnny looked back at Sonny with confusion and saw that Sonny was having the same reaction. This didn't sound right. Something was wrong. Both men took off running back to the suite. When they got to the door, Johnny put a hand on Sonny's shoulder and stopped him.

"Let me go in first, Sonny. If everything is alright, I'll come right back out and let you know."

"Ok. Go. Hurry."

Johnny entered the suite and heard absolute silence. He knew what had happened before he even searched the suite. Alexis was gone. Checking the final room to make sure, he headed back out the door and met Sonny on his way in. Nodding swiftly he confirmed what they both suspected the moment Joy appeared in the cafeteria. Alexis was on the run, taking Johnny's truck keys from his bedside table with her.