The Long Road Home
by Terry

Chapter 36

Sonny was so lost in thought he failed to hear the footsteps that brought Alexis to stand beside him. Hearing her shy hesitant voice jolted him from his reverie and he stumbled a bit in his response to her as he stood to welcome her.

"Uhm... no, I mean yes. Damn, please... I'd love for you to join me. The company would be nice. I'm not usually so inept, but you caught me off guard. I'm afraid I was at least several miles away in thought."

"I could tell. I'm sorry if I startled you."

"No, it's no problem. Give me a minute to pull my foot out of my mouth and maybe I can hold up my end of a decent conversation."

Alexis laughed gently at his obvious attempt to regain control of what she now considered his calm demeanor. Sitting down she waited for him to take his seat again and smiled as she caught sight of those incredible dimples that so fascinated her.

"You did look like you were contemplating the troubles of the world. I would think that on such a beautiful day you would have more pleasant things to consider."

Sonny was amazed that her ability to read him was still intact given she didn't remember him. Looking into her eyes all he saw was an impersonal concern for someone who may be in trouble and the desire to help if possible. He had always found talking to her refreshing and more often than not comforting. He missed talking with her and even though he was a stranger to her, he couldn't imagine wanting anything more than to talk to her now. He needed her input on the things he was discussing with Kevin.

"There was a time when the troubles I faced on a daily basis were easier to handle. I had a friend to talk to about them. She had this way of helping me see the whole picture. Something I'm not so good with. I tend to look at things with tunnel vision."

"So why don't you call her? Sounds like a simple phone call would solve your problem."

Alexis watched him lower his head at her suggestion and a look of total frustration fell on his face. She waited patiently for him to answer. There was more here than she first thought. The man was disturbed for some reason and she could tell he needed to talk to this friend of his.

"I can't call her. I screwed up. I lost a very good friend because I pushed her away."

"If you are her friend, then I'm quite sure she would probably understand if you would just talk to her and be honest with her."

"It's not possible right now."

"Seems to me if you were her friend then she would probably want to know what is going on with you now."

"I lost her because I was too busy needing a friend and forgot to be one. I let her down and nowI… I'm having to deal with the fallout of my actions. And some of that fallout is learning how to control my temper."

"Ah, you have a temper. I've never seen the logic in why a person feels the need to display bouts of temper when intelligence would dictate a more apropos way of stating your point. However, I am currently being told that maybe it would serve my own interests to learn a more profitable way of releasing certain particular frustrations. Tell me, how do you go about obtaining an adequate release of frustration?"

Sonny laughed with wonder at the verbal onslaught that just met his ears.

"Do you need a paper bag, Alexis?"

Tipping her head to the side a little she slid a glance his way and smiled at his laughter. It was such an engaging sound. He was quite simply a beautiful man when he allowed himself to relax.

"Sorry, sometimes I get on a roll and I forget I have to inhale."

"That could pose a problem health-wise. What a pair.! I need to learn how to control my temper and you need to learn how to breathe properly. What say we work on it? You help me with my tantrum tendencies and I'll keep a paper bag handy for you."

"That doesn't seem quite fair somehow. You get the benefit of my wisdom and I get a paper bag. You should probably rethink your negotiation tactics."

They both laughed at the banter back and forth between them. Alexis was having fun for the first time since she had awakened and was surprised her missing memory had not bothered her once since she sat down with Sonny. Falling into a companionable silence they watched the people stroll by. Fearing that Alexis was getting ready to leave Sonny started another conversation.

"You know, I laugh at my temper sometimes, but it has cost me in ways that I have difficulty admitting to at times. I've started talking to a doc here about it, but it just doesn't feel right. If I had my friend to talk to, maybe it would be easier to deal with the causes behind it."

"I know we don't know each other, but I would be more than happy to lend you my ear if you think it might help. Everyone needs someone they can trust to talk to. And you can trust that your secrets would be safe with me. It's another option if you need one."

"Do you have someone you can talk to?"

"Yes, but I haven't known him that long. Well, that's not entirely true. It seems I've known him longer than I remember knowing him."

Sitting quietly waiting for the question to come and not hearing it, Alexis glanced sideways at Sonny.

"You're not even going to ask me what I meant by that are you?"

"If you want me to know, you'll tell me."

At his response, Alexis felt a searing pain in her left temple and she reached up quickly to rub it until it passed.

Alerted at her obvious discomfort Sonny sat straight up and lay a hand on her arm.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Yea, it happens when I see or hear something that seems familiar. I never know when it's coming, but it goes away just as quickly. Now, back to our discussion. Maybe I should tell you what I meant. It would make things easier for you to understand about why I'm here."

"You don't have to, Alexis."

"I know, but for some unfathomable reason I want to."

Sonny was beginning to feel real uneasy about the turn of the conversation. He was dangerously close to deceiving her and it was making him antsy. He wanted complete honesty between them, but not at the expense of hurting her anymore. Looking around the grounds he noticed Johnny and Joy heading back their way and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, it doesn't look like that's going to happen today. Your friends are coming back much to my regret. I have enjoyed spending time with you this afternoon, Alexis. Could we perhaps do this again?"

Feeling a bit like a teenager on a date with overprotective parents, Alexis also sighed regretfully.

"Yes, it looks like my curfew is up. Why don't we meet here tomorrow afternoon and I'll see if I can ditch 'the parents' for a while. I really would like to help if I can."

"You're on, and thanks. I'll leave you to your 'parents' for now. See ya."

"Bye, Sonny."

Alexis watched him walk away and felt the oddest sense of being abandoned. Shrugging it off, she turned to meet Johnny and Joy just as they reached her.

"You guys have horrible timing. I was just about to get the low down on my friend there. But no matter I'll talk to him tomorrow. Did you enjoy your walk together? Never mind, Joy's face could not get any more transparent than it is right now. Good for you, guys."

Johnny noticed a new twinkle in Alexis' eyes. He was elated by it, but still a bit concerned by her time with Sonny.

"Did you enjoy your afternoon? Were your ears productive?"

Laughing at him she turned toward the building to go inside.

"Yes, I enjoyed my afternoon and yes, my ears were productive. Now, can we go find something to eat? I'm starved."

"Yea, we need to go get dinner out of the way. If you're up to it someone wants to come see you tonight."

Feeling a bit of apprehension rise, Alexis asked who it was that wanted to see her.

"I just got a call from Nicholas and he wants to come out and see you. It's your call, but he's the only one that I haven't had any trouble out of regarding you and your care. I think it would be ok, Alexis. I've told him he can't discuss anything from the past year and he has agreed. He just wants to make sure you're alright. What do you say?"

"I say, let him come. I need to see him. He's family, he's familiar and I've missed him. Find out what time he'll be here, Johnny. I have to make sure I look presentable. Joy, can you help?"

A few hours later, Alexis was pacing back and forth anxiously waiting for Nicholas to arrive. She had missed him so much and needed to make a connection with the outside world. He was the perfect connection as he was family. Hearing a knock at the door, she allowed Johnny to answer it and braced herself as Nicholas rounded the corner almost running toward her. Folding him in her arms she held on to him tightly as tears coursed down her face.

"Nicholas, how good it is to see you. I've missed you so much."

She felt him tighten his grip on her and felt a sob rise in his body, she leaned back and looked into his eyes to see tears swimming in them.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, Alexis. I'm sorry I let you down. I promise you I will never do that again."

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm fine. I just needed some rest. Don't get stuck in the guilt trap. You have your own life to lead, just as I do. I'm fine. There are things I do not remember, but you are not one of them. I love you, Nicholas. Now, stop this and let's sit down and talk. I want to know what you've been up to."

She let go of him and motioned him toward the sofa. As they sat down together she smiled at his insistence to retain hold of her hand. She understood his need to hang on to her... to keep a physical contact; she needed the contact as well. They sat for a few moments just drinking in the sight of one another, enjoying the fact that they were together again.

"Are you sure you're ok, Alexis? Is there anything you need? I'll get it, no matter what it is."

"I'm fine, Nicholas. And there is nothing I need. Well, that's not exactly true. I could use the return of the last year of my life, but that will come in time. You cannot help me with that I’m afraid. Just having you here is help enough. My, you seem to have aged ten years since the last time I saw you. What have you been up to? Is Gia taking good care of you?"

For the next couple of hours Alexis and Nicholas talked of everything under the sun except the last year of her life. When Nicholas rose to leave, he hesitated.

"Are you sure, there's nothing I can do for you?"

"Sweetheart, you just gave me what I needed. Having you here like this was the best medicine I could have asked for. Now, go home. Be safe and happy. Be sure to tell Gia 'hi' for me and you come back as often as you can. Remember, I love you."

"I love you too and I'll be back real soon. Take care of yourself and call me if you need anything. I want to help in any way I can."

"Thank you, Nicholas. Bye now."

Watching him leave, Alexis raised her arms above her head and stretched with satisfaction. Having Nicholas with her the last couple of hours brought her more happiness than she could remember having in a long time. He was just what she needed. Seeing Johnny walk in after escorting Nicholas out she smiled widely.

"Now, that's a happy face. And one I would love to see on a regular basis. I don't even have to ask how it went."

"Oh Johnny, I needed that so much. You have no idea what having Nicholas here meant for me. I needed to feel a connection to my family and he was perfect. We didn't have one uneasy moment of conversation. I'm so happy right now, I feel like shouting."

"So go ahead. Yell all you want. You deserve it."

"That wouldn't be very dignified now would it, Johnny?"

"Dignity, schmignity. If you feel like doing it, do it. If you ask me, you don't let lose enough as it is. So Miss Dignified, I dare you. Yell. Personally, I don't think you got guts enough to do it."

Alexis looked at him with a sly grin on her face. She felt too good not to take him up on his dare, so with a very uncharacteristic flare she howled at the ceiling then burst into a fit of laughter. Noticing Joy come running in from the kitchen frightened out of her wits that something was actually wrong; Alexis doubled over and laughed even harder. Within seconds the three of them were roaring with laughter.