The Long Road Home
by Terry

Chapter 27

Dimming the lights in the living room, Johnny sat down on the sofa to reflect on the events of the day. He was tired. He couldn't remember a time when he had been so totally drained. Taking care of people emotionally as well as physically was so much more demanding than just protecting them from physical harm. Leaning his head back and resting it on the back of the sofa, he growled in irritation as he heard a knock on the door. Pulling himself up from the comfort of the sofa he strode to the door and opened it roughly. He found Kevin waiting in the hall.

"What's up, Kevin? It's a little late for a visit, don’t you think?"

"Yeah, I know. I had an emergency consult and was on my way home when I figured I would check on Alexis."

Johnny opened the door a little wider to allow Kevin to enter. Laying a hand on his arm he pointed him toward the kitchen.

"We need to talk and I don't want Alexis to know you're here since she finally drifted off just a few minutes ago. It's been a long day for her and she needs her rest."

Entering the kitchen the two men sat down at the table across from each other. Kevin was disturbed by the frown on Johnny’s face.

"Johnny, you have something to tell me. I can see it... you seem more like a bodyguard at the moment than a trusted friend."

"At the moment, the role I have taken on is in fact that of a bodyguard. Alexis and I talked this afternoon about where she is and I don't mean location wise. She laid down some rules today that I agreed to and you're not going to like them."

Kevin sat back and sighed with barely contained annoyance.

"Do you realize that she is in no shape to be making decisions on her own regarding her care, Johnny? You're playing around with something you don't know anything about. The mind is an intricate, complex machine that must operate as it was intended in the manner that was intended. To try and manipulate your way around the intricacies of its intent is to play with its ability to function normally and you could cause a breakdown again. Are you willing to take that chance?"

Johnny ignored Kevin’s attempt to patronize and verbally manipulate him. He was not in the mood to listen to a lot of psycho talk. He knew what Alexis wanted and that was all he cared about.

"No, but it's not my call. Alexis knows what she needs. She finally understands that she cannot rush this. And she is not willing to be force fed by you or anyone else regarding her care. You were too hard on her today, Kevin. In fact, one of her new rules is that you are not allowed in her suite anymore. In her own words, she needs a place she can go where she can relax and feel safe. So after you leave here tonight, you cannot come back to these rooms. And if you give me a problem with this, I'll take her out of here faster than you can speed dial security and the connections I have can be very effective in hiding her from anyone trying to find her."

"Don't threaten me, Johnny. You're playing with fire here and it's Alexis that is going to suffer the consequences."

Sitting back to try and calm the anger that was threatening to leash itself he reminded himself that Kevin only wanted what was best for Alexis. He was not her enemy. Johnny looked at Kevin and shrugged.

"Kevin, what did you expect? This is Alexis we're talking about. She cannot turn her care over to you as completely as you want her to. She understands the ramifications of her choices. She's scared sure, but this is her life. She's got it back now and she wants to be the one to determine how she lives it, how she remembers what's hidden and she is aware of what is going to be required of her to bring it all together. She's agreed to take a few days to prepare herself for it and not push herself anymore."

"Alright, so I'll stay out of her rooms. Just give my office a call in the morning to set up a round of appointments for her to come see me there."

Shaking his head back and forth, Johnny stared back at Kevin without blinking.

"Sorry, Kevin. No appointments with her either."

Becoming infuriated at both Alexis and Johnny for tying his hands, Kevin stood abruptly and began pacing back and forth. With no help from Alexis at all where her recovery was concerned Kevin was becoming panicked regarding her mental health.

"Am I supposed to just sit back and wait for her to fall back into what she cynically calls 'the abyss'? Johnny, you have no clue what you are dealing with here."

"You're right, Kevin. I don't. But, I do know the woman I am dealing with and I would trust her gut instincts over your medical instincts any day of the week. She knows what she is doing. If she gets into any trouble she has left me a way out. If I feel at any time that I have begun to fail her or that she is in real danger, I have her permission to call you. Kevin, give her a chance to work this out on her own. She needs to be able to trust herself again. Give her the chance to prove to herself that she's not a failure, that she can handle her life neatly, efficiently and without falling apart. She needs to find a way to believe in herself again. Don’t take that away from her."

Kevin studied Johnny and the entire situation for a few moments then finally nodded his head once.

"I feel like I've been fired."

"Not fired, just put on a back burner until we need you."

"Look Johnny, can I just give you a few hints on how to deal with the memories as they come? You've done great so far and I'm proud of the work you've done with her, but I cannot express just how fragile this situation is."

"If you had seen her this afternoon, you would understand that the most important thing to Alexis is to get her life back on track, care for her child and to get the hell out of here as soon as humanly possible. She is not going to jeopardize any of that. Try and show a little faith in her, Kevin. She knows what's at stake."

Giving up, knowing he would get no further with Johnny tonight, Kevin stood to go.

"Ok, you two win this round. But, Johnny she needs to stay on the medication until I am assured that she is handling things adequately enough to be taken off of it. Will you at least get her to agree to that?"

"Yea, Kevin. I'll see that she agrees to the continuation of the medication. Come on, I'll walk you to the door. And don't worry I'll call you every day with an update on how things are going."

Kevin looked over his shoulder at Johnny and snorted derisively.

"I would greatly appreciate that. I mean it is the least you could do in exchange for taking up one of our best suites here and robbing me of my job."

Laughing quietly at the sarcasm in Kevin's voice, Johnny opened the door for him, closed it and went to sit back down on the sofa. He was too tired to go to his room, so he decided to sit for a while and relax.

*****************

So, is that what you want, to forget what happened between us?

Are you in love with your ex-wife?

Go home and be with your wife. I'm fine.

It must be so empowering to speak and have everyone listen to you, and believe you especially when you're lying to them.

You are the most obnoxious, overbearing, chauvinistic blatantly... brokenhearted man I have ever met.

I live a dangerous life, having a family was a mistake.

You are known to have a violent temper.

You are not good father material to a court.

Wasn't your residence a target of machine gun fire?

You are a career criminal.

The Father where does he fit in all of this?

He doesn't know. And I've decided not to tell him.

We're friends, above all else. No promises. No regrets.

Waking suddenly, trembling from the snatches of conversation that invaded her sleep, Alexis tried to calm the uneasiness that was overtaking her. Sitting up cautiously, she let her mind take in each word that came rising up from the depths of slumber and just as she centered on the bits of conversation a face began to appear. Before the face completely materialized an immediate sense of terror engulfed her and the face was gone not giving her a chance to try and recognize it. Swearing in frustration she swung her legs over the side of the bed and got up.

Not wanting to fall asleep again and take a chance on being engulfed by more of her past than she was ready for, Alexis went into the living room to find something to read or perhaps to watch a little mind-numbing television. Upon noticing Johnny sitting on the sofa with his head leaned back snoring slightly, she walked closer and gently lay her hand on his shoulder.

Feeling her touch, Johnny awoke instantly.

"Hey, something wrong? You need something?"

"Yeah, I need you to go to bed like a normal human being. You can't expect to get a good night's sleep propped up like that all night. Go to bed, Johnny."

Sitting up he stretched his cramped arms and legs then looked back over his shoulder at Alexis. He could see that she was upset about something. Her eyes were darker and shifting more unevenly than usual.

"What woke you up, Alexis? Somebody talking to you again?"

"You know, it's just plain disconcerting when you do that. How did you know I was dreaming, Johnny?"

Moving over he took hold of her hand and led her around the sofa to sit down beside him.

"Because I can see what they did to you. You're agitated, a little... apprehensive, and because you're in here rather than in bed, you're making sure it won't happen again. How far off am I?"

Tightening her hold on his hand she marveled at the absolute ability of this man to read her.

"Not far off at all. Care to talk to me awhile? I don't want to go back in there to that bed just yet. It poses all kinds of risk for me right now."

"We'll sit here all night if that's what it takes. Care to tell me some of what woke you up?"

"It seems that I got involved with a married man, who is too dangerous to be around children, but was evidently my friend. It just doesn't make sense, Johnny. None of this is making any sense to me. I don't want a man around me that I can't trust my child with."

"What would you say if I told you that I believe what you are remembering is segmented; bits of your life taken out of context. I think you are pulling pieces of reality that when they stand alone are very damning and detrimental to the actual events as they occurred."

"And you know this because you know the man I was involved with."

It wasn't a question, didn't need an answer. It was a statement of fact. Looking at Johnny she saw how much he believed what he was saying and she also saw that he was basing what he said on the facts, as he knew them to be.

"What would you say, Johnny, if I told you that I think I want to see this man for myself? I don't want to talk to him, I just need to know what he looks like."

Shaking his head at her, Johnny wasn't buying it.

"Don't you mean that if you see him, maybe you'll remember him? Maybe it will all come back to you and the questions you have about him would miraculously be answered?"

Ducking her head in embarrassment, she tried unsuccessfully to hide her smile.

"There you go again. This is getting absolutely frustrating. Johnny, you have to stop doing that. I'll have no secrets at all remaining if you keep this up."

"Alexis, my friend... I don't think you are ready yet to bring anything else from your past into the picture. It is just my opinion, but I'm basing it on what I see in you. For example... In less than two days you go from not being cognizant to finding out that you've lost time... you have an unborn child which also means you had a relationship with someone you don't remember... to learning just how much time you have lost... to remembering your friend dying and now you've started remembering patches of your life that don't make a whole lot of sense to you. On top of all that, you and I had a pretty intense conversation this afternoon about how you allow your friends to mistreat you. I just don't think you've given yourself enough time to deal with all of this."

"I know you have a point, Johnny, and I really am trying to be careful and take all of this slowly. But, it is becoming increasingly harder due to the fact that what I am remembering is making me question just how sane I was before I took the big leap. And it all seems to be centered around one man. And to be perfectly honest with you, I'm beginning to think that finding out who that man is... well I'm thinking my child and I would probably be better off if I never find out who he is."

Studying their hands that were still entwined, Johnny frowned slightly. He didn't want her to lose her curiosity about her past, but he also didn't want her remembering it too quickly. With a shake of his head he thought, 'Boy Kevin... I know why you get paid so much for what you do now.' Bringing his gaze back up to rest on Alexis, he raised one arm and lowered it to settle around her shoulders.

"I'll just say one thing about that, Alexis. Don't limit your possibilities before you even know what they are."

"Well, I'd say that was sage advice. Do you know how difficult it is to talk to you knowing that you already know everything that I have to remember? It's a bit unnerving. Look, let's shelve it for tonight. I'm going back to bed and if I catch you sleeping on this sofa again I'll take you to court on a charge of self-inflicted first-degree torture. Capeche?"

"Capeche, Miss Davis... oh great counsel for he who sleeps unwisely. See you in the morning, partner."

"Night, Johnny. And Johnny, thank you."

"Hey, what are friends for?"