The Long Road Home
by Terry

Chapter 10

Awaking the next morning, Sonny opened eyes slowly then shut them again quickly as the bright sunlight intensified the migraine he was suffering from due to another night of drinking. It had been a long night of fitful sleep. The scotch was not powerful enough to block the nightmares that took hold of him every time he drifted off.

Deke was always there... hiding... waiting... just beyond the edge of sleep. Waiting until just the right moment to strike again. And always nearby a little boy cowering in a corner just out of reach. A little boy still wrapped within fear laden arms of a mother who couldn’t protect him... a boy afraid of being hurt again… afraid of dying alone... a little boy reaching out toward a ghost of the man he would someday become… reaching out with bleeding hands… begging to be protected from yet another beating.

Refusing to lie there any longer, Sonny pulled himself to the edge of the bed and slowly sat up clutching his head to stop the pounding. Groaning at the intensity of his headache he staggered to the bathroom stripping as he went and stepped into the shower to wash away the grogginess, the smell of liquor and hopefully the pain.

An hour later, Sonny stood waiting for the elevator. He knew Kevin told him not to come back unless he could admit to loving Alexis, but he needed to see Alexis if only from a distance. Jumping slightly at the sound of the elevator opening he found himself face to face with Carly.

"I need to talk to you now, Sonny."

"No. You and I are through."

"Look, I couldn't tell you. I couldn't do to your child what was done to mine... "

Feeling the headache begin again, Sonny wiped his hand across his forehead and slanted a look at Carly.

"Carly, you need to go. Now. I don't want to hear it."

Just as Carly began to whine another excuse, Jason walked out of penthouse 2 into the foyer.

"Jason, will you please talk to Sonny."

"I already have. Come on, I'll take you home."

Staring at Jason incredulously, Carly spun around to confront Sonny again. Just as she was about to grab his arm, she felt Jason take hold of her and begin dragging her into the elevator.

"Let me go, Jason. What has gotten into you? Let me go."

Just as the elevator door closed Sonny heard Jason answer her.

"Carly, you lost this one. I told you your lies would catch up to you. Don't come back here again. Sonny's been damaged enough by you."

Looking up his eyes came to rest on the door of Penthouse 2. How many times had he stood here watching her come or go... waiting to see her... needing to see her? Moving closer to the door he gripped the handle.

"I would prefer to have my old lock. I don't like this new lock. And the old lock was good before it got blown off the door because you decided to strap a bomb to your body."

Stepping into the room his expectation of what he hoped he would see was assaulted as the sparse belongings of Jason met his gaze. Quickly closing his eyes he let his memory fill the room. Moving his head slightly he let his mental gaze travel around the room. The closet door...

"Ok, I'm gonna go fix up the guestroom. Actually I should probably let you do it because I'm sure you're rather persnickety about how your bed is made."

Laughing lightly at the memory he tilted his head slightly as he allowed the vision he was creating within the confines of his mind to shift toward her coffee table...

"Is the mozzarella gonna make me feel better about the family boogeyman?"

'I wish I had known just how afraid you were then, Alexis. I was worried, but you made promises and I couldn't ask you to break them. You were trying to be so brave, but I could tell that beneath all of the concern for Stephan, you were scared out of your mind. I let you down, I told you that I would keep you safe and I failed.'

Stepping further into the room with eyes still closed he let his eyes fall on her sofa...

"But if you're not here who… well, when I rant about any number of things there'll be no one here to talk me down. And if I have nothing to eat but popcorn in my kitchen and I'm starving to death there'll be no one here to whip me up a great meal that has all the food groups in it. And when it appears that life makes absolutely no sense to me and I want to talk to you, even though you never listen to anything that I ever say, I still like talking to you."

"You got an eyelash there ... on your cheek."

"I think you're supposed to make a wish on it."

"Yeah, well make a wish ... "

'You didn't know I made a wish too, did you Alexis? I wished that all of the obstacles in my life would fall away. I couldn't name what the obstacles were that were keeping me from you. I just couldn't. It was as close as I could get to what I wanted and still have you safe with me. But, I still let you down, didn't I?'

Moving further into the room he sat down on the couch. He didn't feel the leather of Jason's couch. He settled into a yellow sofa and relaxed letting his heart recapture what his mind had forgotten.

He stayed with her the night she was released from Helena's kidnapping. After she had gone up to bed he cleaned up the broken vase and the other items that fell victim to the release of her anger and fear, the relief that the nightmare was over. Lying there on the couch, eyes closed unable to sleep he heard her come down the stairs and turn off the light. He was aware that she stopped to watch him a moment and then retrace her steps back up the stairs without a sound. Opening his eyes he turned and caught sight of her just as she turned the corner at the top of the stairs. His heart ached at the sight of her. She had been through so much and every movement of her body told him that she was still hurting.

Images and truths... one by one they came out of the past.

"If I push you away it costs me too, maybe more than I realized... "

'It has cost me, Alexis. Even I could not have imagined how much at the time. I can admit now that I lost the best part of me when I lost you. I need to find that part of myself that I lost. But, I’m afraid that I won't find him without you by my side to help me. I never thought I would admit it... but, I need him more than you do.'

"I forget sometimes; I'm distracted by the suit and the sweet way you put up with me. But, I forget that underneath it all you are a survivor; there is something cold about you... something deadly."

Reaching into his jacket pocket he pulled his cell phone from his pocket.

"Max, have the jet prepared for immediate take off. I'll call you when I get to the airport to let you know where I'm headed and Max, I won't need a bodyguard for this one."

A few hours later, Sonny was driving through some of the most beautiful landscape he could remember seeing in a long while. Pulling over to the side of the road, he sat a minute just to take in the view of the rolling hills around him. Reaching over to the passenger seat he picked up the map that lay there and checked to make sure he was still headed in the right direction. Satisfying himself that he was, he pulled back onto the paved two lane road and drove a few more miles before turning in between two impressive monuments built into a brick fence. Announcing himself to the security guard who walked out to meet him, Sonny nodded thinking how a few well placed compliments and a lot of money could instantly get him access to just about anywhere.

Parking the rental car in the first available spot he could find, he got out and started toward a large brick building a few hundred yards away. Looking around him as he continued walking he caught sight of another building and stopped. Smiling triumphantly he changed his course. Just as he got to the steps of the building he looked up. Shading his eyes from the sun, he whispered...

Briarton Griggs Memorial Library

Walking up the steps, he got to the top and turned to sit down on the top step. 'Is this where you sat, Alexis? Is this where it happened? You see, I was listening. You told me that you sat down here to catch your breath. I remember.'

"Excuse me, sir. But, may I help you?"

Standing quickly to see who was speaking to him, Sonny found himself looking at an elderly and very matronly woman.

"No, ma'am. I was just visiting. I do have permission to be here if that's the problem."

"You are Mr. Corinthos, are you not?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well that's fine then. There is no problem. You spoke with me when you called earlier today to ask to take a tour of our campus. May I formally introduce myself... I am Ms. Martha Clayton and I have been head mistress at Briarton Griggs for the past 30 years."

"I am pleased to meet you, Ms. Clayton and please call me Sonny."

"I do not wish to offend you, but we try very hard to teach our girls the proper etiquette here and for me to call you anything other than Mr. Corinthos at a first meeting would be inappropriate. I'm sure you wouldn't want to hinder what we are trying to accomplish with our girls, would you?"

Smiling deeply at the distinguished woman who stood before him, Sonny could now understand where Alexis acquired her penchant for manners.

"Ms. Clayton, I would not dream of interfering with what you teach here. In fact I have found that what you teach here has a tendency to stay with a person for a lifetime. I am very familiar with one of your former students and am regularly reminded of my lack of manners."

"Really. It is so nice to hear that some of our girls carry away with them the essence of what we try to teach here. Please, might you tell me who your friend is? Maybe she made enough of an impression on me that I would remember her."

"I kinda doubt it. She was very quiet and reserved when she was here. I'm not entirely sure what name she went by while she was here. She may have already changed her name by the time she came to the states."

"Well, Mr. Corinthos, that narrows it down considerably since we have been very careful with the internationals we have accepted here."

"Well, she would either have been known by Alexis Davis or Natasha Cassadine."

Sonny watched the woman draw herself up stiffly and lift her chin slightly.

"Ah, yes... The Cassadine child. Yes, regretfully I remember her. Pardon me, I do not mean the child gave us any problems, it was the brother or cousin, I don't remember the relation, that caused us so much grief. He was so protective of her and called several times during the course of a week's time to check her progress or berate us for some offense he believed Natasha to have suffered under our care. I felt for the child and tried my best to protect her as much as I could. She was so quiet and fearful. Natasha did not make friends easily. She found it very difficult to trust. I hope she has finally found peace in her life. We have not been blessed with such a dedicated and intelligent student as Natasha since she left us."

"Ms. Clayton, thank you for caring for my friend. She is a very beautiful woman, and I do not mean her appearance although she is the most attractive woman I know. She is beautiful on the inside and the most compassionate woman I have ever known. I imagine she learned most of what she knows from within your walls. You have every reason to be proud of what you're doing here."

"Why thank you, Mr. Corinthos. Please give her my deepest regards. I must leave you now as I have another appointment, but please feel free to visit us anytime. If you will call ahead, I would count it a blessing to have the opportunity to invite you to lunch."

Reaching out to accept the hand she offered, Sonny gently clasped her hand in his, bent over and placed a kiss on the back of it.

"Ms. Clayton, it would be an honor. Thank you."

Releasing her hand he watched her walk away then returned to his car. He had gotten what he needed here. Ms. Clayton painted him a picture of a wounded and frightened child who was now a wounded and frightened woman. It appeared that Alexis struggled with the same battles he struggled with as a child. But, this place helped her to... how would she say it... to put everything into perspective.

He wondered if he could have learned to handle his pain as well as Alexis did if there had been a 'Briarton Griggs' available to him. In coming to Briarton, Sonny made it possible to be able to envision her as a small-frightened waif determined to survive. He smiled as he pictured another layer of Alexis being slowly peeled away.