The Long Road Home
by Terry

Chapter 6

Refusing to show Kevin the shame his words brought about, Sonny nodded his dismissal to Max. Once Max left the room Sonny followed Kevin into his office. Seating himself he answered the question that Kevin left hanging in the silence following his rant.

"No, this is not the man Alexis knew. That man died about four months ago."

Choosing not to pursue the statement, Kevin redirected the conversation so that he was in control of it.

"I have been told that you know Alexis more than anyone else. Is that true?"

"Yes, we have a connection that most people spend their lives trying to find with someone else. We didn't plan it. It just happened. She once said that we worked hard to become friends. And it's true. We both needed a friend we could count on... trust."

"Did she feel she could tell you anything she wanted or needed to?"

"Yes. And did. She told me everything, whether I wanted to hear it or not. She was always jumping me for getting into one difficult situation after another. But, she never gave up on me... until the last time."

"Did she have other friends?"

"She had a girlfriend once who was murdered. Her name was Chloe. There’s Jasper Jacks, but he doesn't come around much anymore. He and I never got along and I guess its best he didn't come around much since we always fought around Alexis."

"Is that it? One dead friend, a friend who no longer comes around and you?"

Sonny eyed the doctor suspiciously.

"What are you getting at? You think it's my fault she doesn't have more friends."

"No, but I find it quite interesting that you would jump to that assumption. Tell me something. From the conversation so far, I have concluded that Alexis gave more to the relationship than you did. Would you say that was a fair assessment?"

Sonny stood and walked over to the window. He faced the south lawn and took in the beautiful view. There were rock gardens scattered around the lawn with flower beds full of different varieties of roses, tulips and wild flowers; picnic tables and benches were scattered about underneath a few massive oak trees that looked to be offering safety as well as shade from the sun.

"Sonny?"

Just as he started to turn back to his seat he caught sight of a familiar figure. It was Johnny. He watched intently as Johnny approached a patient and sit down on the ground beside her. Sonny noticed him reach up and take hold of the patient's hand and gently move it to lay against her stomach. Centering his focus on the patient he choked on a sob as he recognized her. Alexis. Grabbing hold of the window frame to steady himself he closed his eyes as one single tear escaped his control.

Kevin, becoming instantly alert at Sonny's reaction to whatever he was seeing outside, rushed to his side. Not knowing what to expect given the man's business he searched the lawn until he caught sight of what drew Sonny’s attention. Placing his hand under Sonny's arm to support him he waited until the man composed himself.

Turning slightly he urged Sonny to sit back down.

"No. I need to see her."

"Are you alright, Sonny?"

"She's the one in trouble, not me."

"Well, I would say from the response you just had that... one: you look to be in a bit of trouble yourself and two: you actually do care a great deal for Alexis."

Hanging his head, Sonny nodded affirmatively.

"More than I realized."

Catching sight again of what Johnny was doing he asked Kevin about it.

Glancing back out, Kevin realized what Sonny was questioning.

"Johnny's job is not only to care for Alexis but for the child as well. The child needs contact and since the mother is unable to on her own at this point, Johnny is doing it for her. He told me this morning that it felt too intrusive to caress the child himself, so he takes Alexis' hand and forces her to caress the child. When he talks to Alexis he includes the child in the conversations. We are simply trying to take care of the child for Alexis until she is able to do it for herself."

Dropping his head again Sonny quietly spoke for the first time what he now accepted in his heart.

"It should be me out there with her. It's my child."

Kevin was stunned at the admission from the man standing beside him. With that one admission Kevin knew that the problems that faced Alexis went so much deeper than he originally thought.

"Sonny, please come back to your seat, we need to talk some more."

Sonny looked back up and rested his eyes once again on the woman who was carrying his child.

"Could we finish this out there? I need to… see her..."

Suddenly understanding a little more of the problem, Kevin reached toward the phone and dialed a number.

"Joy? How much longer does Alexis have for outdoor time? … Thank you."

Placing his hand on Sonny's shoulder he gently led him to the door and the two men walked outside to find a place to sit close enough to Alexis to satisfy Sonny; but far enough away so that they couldn't be heard. Kevin didn't have any way of knowing how fast the medication would begin to do its intended job for Alexis. And he wasn't willing to risk any kind of recognition and possible relapse.

Sonny allowed his hungry eyes to take in every aspect of her. He desperately wanted to touch her. He was close enough to see the blankness in her beautiful eyes and it tore at him. He was so engrossed in his perusal of her he didn't realized he had begun to walk towards her. Trying to shake off the hand that restrained him he suddenly found his vision of her interrupted by Kevin.

"I will not let you disturb her. You may sit quietly with me here or you will be escorted from the premises. She is too fragile right now. Remember, this is about her."

"Sorry, doc. You're right. I just wanted..."

"I know. Come on, sit down over here with me."

As both men settled onto the bench, Sonny made sure the line of sight connecting him to her was not hindered in any way. He noticed Johnny turn and catch sight of them and wave briefly. Lifting his own hand he put a finger to his lips to warn Johnny not to tell her he was there.

"When did you fall in love with her, Sonny?"

Jerking slightly at the question, he turned his attention to Kevin but never took his eyes from Alexis.

"I don't use the word love in the same sentence with Alexis. It's safer not to."

"For her safety or for yours?"

"Both."

"I don't follow."

"Why would I willingly open her up to the dangers of my life and open myself up to a life of wanting something I know I can't have?"

For the first time since Sonny walked into his office, Kevin realized that there was more than one patient involved in this case and neither one of them knew it. Alexis would never be whole until Sonny was and Sonny would never be whole until Alexis was. He was walking a very thin line here and knew things could get quite intense.

"Sonny, tell me what Alexis saw in you that inspired such loyalty in her?"

"I'm not sure I can get into it that deep with you. You're tap dancing on the very foundation of why we became so close and that's something I hold very close. I don't want it torn apart and trampled on."

"That's not what I want to do. I have to understand her frame of mind if I am going to be able to help her. You know her. You know what it must have taken to bring her down so low to force this kind of reaction from her. You have the answers I need and just maybe through all of this I can help you as well."

Laughing sarcastically, Sonny tore his eyes from Alexis and stared at Kevin a moment then returned his gaze to Alexis.

"I don't need your help, Doc. There's nothing you can offer me. There's nothing wrong with me."

"Are you willing to stake her sanity on that?"

Throwing a look of pure venom at Kevin, Sonny verbally attacked him.

"What do you mean by that? I am here to help her any way I can. It is your job to use what I tell you to bring her back to... to herself. Do your job and quit trying to analyze me. I don't need it."

"Don't you mean bring her back to you? Look Sonny, I don't mean to offend you but she is hiding right now. I believe that you are part of what she is hiding from. I don't mean you physically. I mean she is hiding from what she feels about you. I just need to know what else she is hiding from. You have that information."

Letting his gaze again leave Alexis momentarily, Sonny let his eyes roam around the lawn. He was tired and his eyes stung. The liquor he consumed the night before that finally allowed a few hours of uninterrupted sleep was catching up with him by way of another migraine. Movement from Johnny caught his eye and he watched as Johnny stood and began to push Alexis' wheelchair back toward the building.

"Where is she going?"

"Her outdoor time has concluded. She has a very strict schedule to keep and it cannot be broken. It is an intricate part of the recovery plan that I have her on."

"Why so strict?"

"From what I have been able to ascertain from her family, Alexis has always been a person of total control. It stands to reason that a regimen of control will help in her care."

"Doc, you couldn't be more right. If I had to wager a guess as to the one thing that could have done this to her, then it would have been her lack of control over her life. But, that encompasses so much that you couldn't begin to understand it all. She is such a complex woman. It has been so incredibly stimulating trying to figure her out. She has kept me guessing ever day since I first met her. There is always one more layer to unwrap where Alexis Davis is concerned."

"Thank you, Sonny. It's been a good start. I hate to stop it here, but I need to go check on her and a few other patients. Can I expect you again tomorrow? I would like to delve into the losses she has endured throughout her lifetime and how they affected her. And we are not finished with your connection to her. What about it.... same time tomorrow?"

Dreading the thought of that conversation, Sonny shrugged some of the tension from his shoulders and responded.

"I'll be here, Doc. And I’ll agree to leave the bodyguard at home."