The Long Road Home
by Terry

Chapter 5

When the cab arrived at the park just after Johnny left. Sonny sat down next to Max in the back seat and told the driver to take him to the Port Charles Hotel. Acknowledging the question that was apparent on Max's face, Sonny informed him of what he wanted him to do immediately on their return.

"Max, once the driver let's me out at the hotel, I want you to go back to the penthouse. Letitia was supposed to take Michael to the park today so you won't have to worry about him. I'll call Bobby and have her meet Letitia there. She and Michael will stay with Bobby tonight. Pack up Carly and get her out of my home. I don't care how you do it. If she wants to know why, tell her I know about the baby and I know how long she has known. Once she is out, have the locks changed. I don't want to see any evidence of her at all when I walk back into the penthouse. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yeah boss, I got it. I'll handle it as quickly as possible. You should be able to return first thing in the morning."

Entering his hotel room a few minutes later, Sonny walked to the window and stood quietly staring down at the activity below without really seeing it. His thoughts were miles away centered on one woman… the only woman he ever completely trusted. He had trusted her with not only his secrets, but he lay open his soul for her and she accepted him. She took everything into her heart and locked it away for safekeeping. At least until her sister's funeral when she used it all to attack him. He knew exactly what she was doing in that moment. She did everything she knew to do to protect herself from him, from allowing herself to be hurt by him again. Alexis knew him well enough to know that after her rant against him that he would grant her wish and leave her alone.

He wanted to help her at Kristina's funeral. He knew she was in trouble; he had been with her after she was rescued from the clutches of Helena Cassadine. The memory came back to him easily. He remembered telling her that she wasn't fine, that she was still carrying it all. He calmly listened to her rail against the inadequacy of her apartment and finally settled her hatred on one solitary vase.

Picking it up he held it out to her and told her to break it. Smiling slightly he could again see the expression on her face. She looked at him as though he had lost his mind and when he pressed her again to break the vase she refused. Knowing she needed the release he pushed her harder. Finally, totally exasperated with him she grabbed the vase from him and threw it to the floor laughing unbelievably at what she allowed herself to do. From there it escalated until she had finally admitted her hatred of Helena and how scared the woman made her feel all of her life. Sitting down beside her he had folded her into his arms while she cried.

Pulling his hands out of his pockets Sonny wrapped them around himself and let the memory of how she felt in his arms that night wash over him. He felt like her protector then... that in some small way he was able to give something back to her. He would have done anything to keep her safe from the horror of that time in her life. When it was all over he had to face the fact that he wasn’t able to save her… wasn’t there to pull her free of the dangerous manipulations of an obsessed psychopath. But he was there to take her home and give her what comfort he could. Now, all he felt was empty. His friend was in trouble again and here he stood miles away from her knowing that he was part of why she was now in trouble.

Friend. The word came so easily. In happier times they both used it consistently to reassure each other that no matter what, there was always one person that they could count on. Friend. It became the single most important word to Sonny. It meant he wasn't alone. Someone cared about him. Really cared. She cared... she cared enough about him to stand by him, to fight for him whether she agreed with him or not. Friend.

"You were the last person I thought I'd care about and I do. Actually a lot."

Walking away from the window, Sonny lay down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. In his mind he placed Alexis and Carly side by side. His stomach immediately felt revulsion at allowing Carly to stand so close to Alexis, even if it were only in his mind. It was impossible to compare the two. Alexis was on a higher plane than Carly could ever hope to attain. Alexis was heart and soul... class and refinement. She was warmth, compassion and love.

Was. Was? Bolting upright to sit on the side of the bed, Sonny beat his hands against his head. Not was... she IS. She IS all of those things and so much more. Sonny felt such a longing sweep through him that he curled up and fell back down onto the bed. Why didn't he allow himself to see it before? He hid what he really felt for her behind that one word.

Friend. It was safe there. To love Alexis meant change. He knew that she would not ask it of him, but loving Alexis Davis was an honor and if he admitted he loved her then he himself would require the change. She needed a man she could depend on to be with her for a lifetime. She needed a man who loved her enough to give her anything she desired in her heart. And Sonny knew that deep in her heart Alexis wanted him out of the organization that constantly put him and those he loved in danger. She would never have asked it of him, would never have brought up the subject. Her voice quietly filled the recesses of his mind as he remembered another time...

"I'm your attorney. And as your attorney there have been any number of times where naming names would have saved a lot of legal wear and tear. It was never an option for me to ask you to turn state's evidence."

Alexis would never ask him to break the code she knew he lived by. She loathed his code, but it was a part of who he was and she accepted it because she accepted him. 'I can.' Two small words uttered one evening quietly and with conviction as he explained that he couldn't change and no one could accept that part of him. She simply raised her hand and said 'I can.' Those two small words filled him with relief. They soothed him as nothing else had in such a long time. Those two words also filled him with something else that he could only now recognize. Hope. With Alexis there was hope.

The last few months had been hell. He thought the important decisions he was making on a daily basis were right for everyone concerned. He meandered through each day taking care of this problem, that problem... this call, that call. Never questioning whether he was making the right decisions or not. But, how can you make good decisions when there is no hope left in your life. He walked away from his hopes and dreams the last time he returned to Carly.

"I'm not giving up... I'm just breathing."

He did not fight to stay with Alexis. Didn't realize it was an option that was open to him. He had hidden behind his 'friend' so long he did not recognize what was within his reach… what he was giving up on... what he walked away from. And as always, she tried to make it easier for him...

"Go home, Sonny. Be with your wife. I'm fine."

Rising from the bed Sonny walked back over to the window. The sun was beginning to set now. Soon darkness would fill the room. He welcomed the darkness, waited for it. Under the cover of darkness he could hide. Reaching toward the phone he picked it up and dialed room service. He ordered two bottles of scotch to be sent up immediately. Tonight he would drink himself to sleep and tomorrow he would go to Ferncliff. Even though he felt in his heart that she would not want him near her, he would not abandon her again. He would do what he could to help. If sharing their secrets would help her now, he would do it.

__________________

Early the next morning Sonny stood in the shower allowing cold water to wash away the effects of his night of drinking. His senses were dull and he was suffering from a raging migraine headache. Stepping from the shower he toweled off, put on the robe that hung on the back of the bathroom door and again called room service. He needed a bottle of aspirin and something to settle his stomach. Once he placed his breakfast order he called Max.

"Max, Did you take care of what I asked you to?"

"Yeah boss, it's all taken care of. Michael is with Bobbie and Carly has been removed from the penthouse. She kind of went crazy..."

"I don't care to hear how it went, Max. Thanks for taking care of it for me. I need you to bring me a change of clothes. Call Dr. Kevin Collins and tell him I will be there in a couple of hours. And Max, under no circumstances are you to repeat anything you have heard regarding Miss Davis to anyone at anytime."

"Sure boss. You have my word. I'll be there within the hour."

Hanging up the phone, Sonny sat down heavily on the bed. He felt an initial sense of relief, which was quickly replaced by dread. This wasn't over with yet. He knew Carly well enough to know that she wouldn't give up without a fight. She would come at him hard and he wasn't ready for it yet. He wasn't ready to deal with Carly. His first priority was Alexis. Looking at his watch he silently urged Max to hurry. He needed to see Alexis.

***************

Arriving at Ferncliff three hours later, Sonny was escorted to Kevin Collins office and asked to wait since the doctor was currently on an emergency consult. Sonny paced back and forth in the waiting room while Max stood guard just outside the door. Startled from his musings, he turned abruptly as the doctor entered the waiting room.

Kevin was infuriated at the way he had been summoned for this little meeting and he was equally angered that Sonny Corinthos had brought a bodyguard with him. Leading Sonny into his office he noticed Max move closer. Drawing to a standstill he faced Sonny with a menacing stare.

"You may not care enough about the patients of this facility to leave your world outside the gates, but I do. The next time you come here, ‘if’ I allow another visit you will leave your bodyguard at home. If you have any kind of situation following you around that requires a constant bodyguard then you are not welcome here. Do we understand each other, Mr. Corinthos?"

Settling into the stance that most depicted who he thought he was, Sonny quietly addressed the doctor.

"You need to be a little less rude and a little more respectful, doc. No one tells me where I go or who I go with."

"Is this the man Alexis knew you to be? I find it hard to believe that she would align herself with someone who would show so little regard for her welfare. This is not about you. I have a patient who willingly took herself away from the world. She did this to herself. I need to know why. The only reason I answered your summons was to get information on my patient. If I feel that by having you here would be more detrimental than helpful to her then I will not hesitate in having you banned from this institution. Like I said, this is not about you. I need to find a way to bring Alexis back whole and full of the life I know she is capable of. Now, do I have your cooperation or not? The decision is up to you."