The Long Road Home
by Terry

Chapter 3

Johnny was already exhausted from his trip to Alexis’ apartment, but he still needed to make two more stops before he could return to the sanitarium. Pulling away from her place he turned his truck toward his own home. He needed to pack up a few things and close up the place since he didn’t have any idea how long he would be away. Taking a final look around, Johnny closed the door behind him and stood there for a moment as the weight of responsibility surrounding what he was agreeing to do for Alexis suddenly overcame him. Doubts began to filter through his mind as a war raged inside of him. And just as he was about to slip his key back into the lock a quiet voice from long ago filled his ears. “One day Johnny you will be asked to set aside all that you are to become all that someone else needs you to be in order to save their life. Don’t let them down, Johnny boy. Remember my words and be the man I know you can be.” Johnny choked back the emotion that welled up inside of him at the sound of the beloved voice. Closing his eyes he saw her face... saw the love in her eyes... and it was enough. Shoving the key into his pocket he shouldered his bag and turned to leave. Just before exiting the building he left an envelope containing a note to the landlord and a check to cover the rent for the next 3 months then walked away from his old life to begin his destiny... what he now considered to be the one true purpose of his life. This one soul who needed him and he would be there, right beside her, until she didn’t need him anymore. And only then would he return to his own life knowing he would be a better man for having listened and followed when his heart charged him to hear a silent call for help from someone who would never have presumed to ask for something she needed so desperately.

*********

He was dreading his last stop, but knew there was no other choice. Alexis needed him to make this one last stop, whether she was aware of it or not and he wasn’t going to let her down. Pulling up and stopping in front of the Harbor View Tower he pulled his cell phone out again and dialed the familiar number.

"Sonny, it's Johnny. I'm downstairs in front of the tower and I need to talk to you. Would you mind meeting me for a few minutes? I wouldn't ask, but it's pretty important and I need to keep it quiet. I know I'm asking a lot, but like I said it's important and I think you'll want to hear what I have to tell you without taking any risk that we get overheard..."

A moment of silence met his request on the other end of the phone. Johnny prayed Sonny wouldn't give him a hard time. He was just about to ask again when he heard a long sigh on the other end of the phone then a voice heavy with derision and veiled threat.

“So you want me to come to you... Tell me something, Johnny. When have you ever known me to come running when a former employee summoned me?”

“If it will help any, I know what I’m asking is a lot and from your view out-of-line, but I’m not asking for myself. Please Sonny, just hear me out... that’s all I’m asking.”

Johnny waited another moment and when silence still hung heavy he played his last card.

“Let me put it another way... you don’t want to hear this from anyone else... and you don’t want to be out somewhere and get surprised by it. You have my word that I’m not putting your or your family in any danger.”

Hearing another heavy sigh, Johnny finally smiled. He got through, Sonny would come.

“Johnny, this had better be good. I'll be down in five."

Disconnecting his phone, Johnny wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. The day he resigned as Sonny’s bodyguard it was agreed between them that all ties would be immediately severed without any further contact with anyone who remained employed by Sonny. Because of his long service with Sonny and the integrity he showed in carrying out his daily service to his job, Johnny was allowed to walk away without incident. For him to now break his word and call Sonny to ask for a meeting... Johnny knew he was putting himself in a very precarious position. Something really dark happened to Sonny when Alexis moved out of the penthouse across from him and he was now more dangerous than Johnny had seen him in years. There was just no telling how Sonny would react at any given moment anymore under any circumstance.

Jumping slightly as the door of his truck swung open, he looked over and saw two of the most unwelcoming pairs of eyes he could remember seeing in a long while. The thought crossed his mind before he could stop it. 'He needs you now more than ever, Alexis.' Shifting nervously he waited for Sonny to sit down next to him while Max, the bodyguard who replaced him, took a seat right behind him. The cold hard steal of Sonny’s voice sent a chill down Johnny’s spine.

"Take a ride around the block a couple of times then head to the park on the other side of town. We should have total privacy there. And Johnny, like I said, this had better be good. You agreed not to contact me again. So, I'm guessing this must be pretty important for you to break your word."

Sonny was in full crime lord mode and Johnny instantly reverted back to speaking to ‘the boss’ as he had when he was still his bodyguard.

"If I felt there was any other choice, Mr. Corinthos, I would have taken it. But, this is something you need to hear from me and not overheard in someone else’s conversation. Let me get to the park and we'll talk. I understand that you need Max close by, but what I need to tell you has to be kept confidential, so I am asking you to trust me just once more and leave Max out of this."

Pearls of anger rested on Johnny as Sonny debated with himself for a moment before he growled an answer.

"You're right, you are asking a lot. But, you were always loyal and I never had a reason to not trust you so I'm giving you a little leeway here. Just don't screw it up, Johnny."

Silence hung like a dark cloud during the ride to the park. Johnny was sweating bullets and could feel Max's eyes boring into his back. Pulling up to the entrance of the park, Johnny looked around carefully checking for anything that looked out of the ordinary and not seeing anything he nodded once at Sonny then stepped out of the truck. Moving to stand in front of the truck he nervously waited for Sonny to finish giving Max some kind of instruction then led the way to a bench not far away. Once Sonny was seated, Johnny joined him.

"Sonny, before I get to the reason I asked to speak to you, I need to tell you that I may say something that you might feel is too personal coming from me. Please, just hear me out though. I promise you my intent here is good. I... I need to know if you know where Miss Davis is right now?"

An explosion of air left Sonny’s lungs as he stood abruptly and took several paces away from Johnny. There was a raging fire burning deep inside of him and it had been there for the last month. She disappeared the day of Kristina's funeral and he hadn't tried to find her. She didn't want any part of him anymore and it tore at him every day since. Hearing Johnny ask him if he knew of her whereabouts took him by surprise and the fire inside instantly burned hotter. Returning to stand in front of Johnny, he stood with his legs apart, hands in his pockets with an unreadable expression on his face. He did not want Johnny to know how deeply he was affected by the question.

"No Johnny, I don't know where she is. She let me know very emphatically that she wanted nothing more to do with me. I gave her what she wanted. Just what is your interest in Alexis?"

Sonny was on edge. Johnny could see it. How many times had he seen Sonny switch faces when he was angry, unsure of himself or just plain scared. Looking at Sonny now, Johnny knew he was looking at a man who was lost... who needed to find his center... who needed ‘his friend’.

"Sonny, I watched you two become friends. I wasn't blind to what was going on between you. You two connected and you both accepted each other, faults and all."

Johnny watched carefully as Sonny shifted from one foot to the other. He could tell by Sonny's face that he was getting angrier. Rushing to continue he hoped he could say enough to settle him down without being cold cocked before finishing.

"Look Sonny, I told you I would say some personal things, but I need you to trust me and let me finish this. I know where she is and I think you need to know too."

Sonny stilled. Staring at Johnny, he felt his heart jump. Johnny knew where she was. Closing the space between them nonchalantly Sonny sat down beside Johnny and looked off across the park grounds trying to appear as uninterested as he could.

"Okay so where is she, Johnny?"

Looking around the park helplessly Johnny knew there was no easy way to say it, so he stiffened his resolve and said it straight out.

"She... she was admitted to Ferncliff Sanitarium a month ago. She's... sick."

He didn't hear Johnny right. He couldn’t have. Shaking his head to clear it, Sonny looked over at Johnny.

"What did you say?"

"She was admitted to Ferncliff a month ago."

His fear, unbelief, anger catapulted him off the bench as rage took over. No, it was a lie. It wasn't possible. Not Alexis. She would never... No, Johnny was trying to get to him... trying to destroy him. Johnny knew... he knew what Sonny had desperately tried to hide for the last year. He knew what Alexis meant to him and now figured to use it against him. In an insane attempt to protect himself and his secrets, Sonny turned and attacked Johnny. He caught Johnny's throat between his hands and began choking him screaming crazy questions and accusations at Johnny totally oblivious to the fact that Johnny was losing consciousness.

"What do you want from me, Johnny? You trying to take me down now? Did she send you here? I killed her sister and this is how she is going to pay me back. You're helping her aren't you? She hates me and is using you to get to me. You're dead, Johnny!"

Sonny completely lost control. All rational thought escaped him. He didn't notice Max running toward him and fought relentlessly against the arms that circled him tightly pulling him off Johnny. He didn't notice that Johnny was slumped over unconscious from lack of air. All he saw was the fire raging within him. The white hot intensity of it consumed him, stealing the air from his own lungs. Falling heavily to the ground, Sonny grabbed his head with both hands as bolts of migraine lightening shot through him. He sat completely still while his lungs fought to capture the air that would allow him to breathe again. He needed to breathe... how many times did he tell her to breathe; coaxing her to slow down and just breathe. And now, ironically it was he who fought for every breath. He had to breathe for himself... for her. He had to somehow find the strength within himself to fight this battle... to fill his lungs with life if only to once again take up the never-ending task of keeping the fire inside from destroying that part of ‘her’ that still remained deep inside of him. ‘She is strength... she is my strength. Alexis.’

Johnny quickly came to with a little assistance from Max and dropped his head in his hands to recuperate from Sonny's attack. Concerned about his former boss, he raised his eyes and silently groaned at the torment he saw in the man. Laying his hand on Sonny's shoulder he shook him gently to get his attention.

"Sonny, it was just too much for her and she escaped for awhile. We'll bring her back, I promise you. We'll bring her back."

Sonny vaguely heard Johnny from far off. With borrowed strength he brought his mind and body under control. Standing slowly he sent Max back to the truck then sat back down beside Johnny arms hanging limply by his side. He didn't have the will to lift them.

"I'm sorry, Johnny. I just... You said it, but I... I couldn’t believe... I can't see her there. Not her. Not Alexis. Tell me, Johnny. Tell me what happened."

Johnny could see that Sonny was hanging on by a thread. Never before had he seen Sonny this messed up. This wasn’t normal. As much as he knew about Sonny and his relationship with Alexis, this was so much more than just what he witnessed between them when they were together. What he saw in Sonny in that moment... there was only one other time he witnessed that level of feeling between two people. Feelings like that don’t come around very often. Sonny was drowning in denial and if what he suspected was true; so was Alexis. They could deny it all they wanted to, but Johnny now knew just how much their relationship had meant to both of them. It was sitting right here beside him and just a few miles away it was locked away in silent escape. They both finally found a way of escape and it was slowly destroying them. Johnny grieved for them both. But even as he grieved for the loss between them, Johnny smiled inwardly. Regardless of the reasons and mess surrounding their split they could find their way back to each other given the right motivation. And from what he just witnessed in Sonny... he knew he could now welcome another ally in helping Alexis come back. So he told Sonny what he knew regarding how she ended up at Ferncliff.

"From what I understand after she left the funeral service she went home and Ned found her the next morning. She doesn't talk to anyone. She just sits there silent and unaware of anything around her. I have been going to see her everyday for the past month. Her doctor finally asked to see me today and we have put together a plan to try and bring her out of this. The reason I came to see you was to tell you that her doctor wants to see you."

In a dead defeated voice Sonny questioned why. "Why would her doctor want to see me, Johnny? There is nothing I can do to help her, she made that very clear the last time I saw her."

Shifting slightly to turn more toward Sonny, Johnny looked down at his hands then back up at Sonny. He hated what this was doing to Sonny, but with everything that had gone down between them, in his opinion Sonny had been a fool to let Alexis walk away. Looking at him now though, at what this was doing to him; well... no one should have to go through this kind of agony.

"He asked me who I thought knew her better than anyone else and I told him you did. Look Sonny, I have to be able to talk to you about this without constantly being afraid for my life. So, I'm not going to tip toe around you anymore. The stakes are too high and she needs us to do whatever is necessary to bring her back."

"It's ok, Johnny. I think I've got it under control now. So, you say you’ve seen her everyday? Why?” Sonny stopped for a moment as a thought occurred to him. “Wait a minute, this is why you quit, isn't it? You quit me so you could spend all your time with her."

Seeing a hint of jealousy and anger in Sonny's eyes, Johnny quickly put a stop to the thoughts he knew were racing through Sonny's mind. He knew that part of Sonny’s anger was because was Johnny had not come to him sooner.

"That's only part of it, Sonny. I went to see Ashton when I heard what happened to ask if there was anything I could do and he told me that the best thing I could do for her was to get out of the business; to make my life as safe as possible. Alexis and I were kind of like friends on the side. She helped me a lot over the years and I need to repay her. So, my new job is being her companion and helping her come back to the world. And you know as well as I do that Alexis wouldn’t want anyone to know where she is now. She’s real private that way."

"You’re right. She wouldn’t want anyone to know about this. So, you left me because that's what Alexis would have wanted you to do. She would have wanted you safe from me. That makes perfect sense somehow. Now you've made yourself her shadow.”

Sonny moved a couple of steps away then turned back with a guilt ridden sheepish grin.

“I envy you your job. It should have been me. But, since I'm probably the one who put her there, I doubt she would welcome my visits anyway."

Johnny watched Sonny kick at the ground a few times before getting back to the real reason he pulled Sonny out to the park.

"Sonny, you can still help her. All you have to do is give the Doc what he needs. Go see him, Sonny. Tell him what you know about Alexis. I mean the kind of person she is. I'm sure he’s got a lot of questions.”

Johnny stopped for a moment to make sure his words were right before continuing. He was about to step into a minefield and he needed to be real careful. “Sonny, there’s one more thing you need to know and before I say it you have to remember that the only reason I am here right now is because I believe it’s the right thing for me to do for Alexis. But, you need to know that the first time I see Carly on the grounds, I will get rid of her by any means necessary. I will not let Carly anywhere near Alexis."

Lifting his head quickly to glare at Johnny, Sonny saw the determination in his face. Johnny meant what he said. He would protect Alexis at all cost, even if it cost him his life.

"Johnny, I'm not too fond of people attacking my wife. You know that and making a statement like the one you just made leads me to believe that there's something here you're not telling me. Did Carly do something to Alexis? Don't hold out on me, Johnny. I have to know. What did Carly do?"

Gazing out toward the woods on the other side of the park Johnny heaved a sigh. 'How much do I tell him?' And will he go ballistic on me again?' He mentally shrugged his shoulders and jumped in with both feet.

"Sonny, the verbal abuse that Alexis has suffered at the hands of Carly the past few months was enough to put any normal average person in Ferncliff. But, Alexis has never been your average person, and the abuse from Carly on top of everything else that has happened, well I think it just all became too much. Most of the time Alexis was able to let the abuse roll off her back, but since she found out she was pregnant Carly's abuse has doubled. Do you remember the fall Alexis took outside of Kelly's the night of Carly's homecoming party?"

"Yeah, she said she slipped."

"But, you questioned it. I saw the look on your face. You looked at Carly like you thought she may have had something to do with it but you let it go. I saw what happened and so did Jason. Sonny, that fall did not originate entirely by Alexis."

"Wait a minute. What are you telling me? Alexis wasn't pregnant when that happened. She said she had the flu or something. Johnny?"

Realizing too late that he said too much, Johnny’s head fell heavily toward his chest. ‘Well, it was going to come out anyway, best Sonny be prepared for it.’

"She left the party and went to the hospital. I followed her to make sure she was ok. I didn't know then that she was pregnant, but she began going real regular to the doctor. She changed her daily routine and then stopped representing you. It was when she decided to move that I finally figured it out. For Alexis to make those kinds of changes after everything you two had been through together, I knew something was up. So I did a little checking on my own and found out she was pregnant."

Standing quickly, Sonny began pacing back and forth. His eyes darted back and forth as he began processing the information Johnny was giving him with the changes he witnessed himself in Alexis. Stopping in front of Johnny he peered at him intently and laid out the conclusions he finally came to.

"So... I spend the night with her, I walk out on her, she finds out she's pregnant with my child, she figures out Zander was beaten up on my orders, and her sister dies because someone's coming after me. Did I leave anything out?"

Sonny needed to know all of it if he was going to be able to do what needed to be done. So Johnny took another deep breath before he allowed himself to free the words that would destroy Sonny’s little fairytale world.

"Yes, Sonny. There's one more thing you need to know and it's going to be rough on you. But, you need to know it all."

"What more can there be? The best friend I ever had is pregnant with my child, she's currently in a mental hospital fighting for her sanity and the one person who could probably go in there and bring her right out of it is lying dead in a cemetery because of her sister's association with me. Tell me, what more can there be?"

"Carly knows the baby is yours and has known for a couple of months at least."

"What?" The simple question muttered so quietly took the ground right out from under him. Staggering backward, Sonny lost his focus and would have fallen had Johnny not caught him.

"I overheard her talking to Alexis in the penthouse corridor one afternoon. There is no mistake. I'm sorry Sonny, but Carly has known for a while."

Sonny walked away from Johnny. He needed air... space. He felt like he was trapped in a box and couldn't move... couldn't get out... couldn't breathe. Thinking of Alexis he wondered if this was what she felt like when she went home that night and simply allowed herself to drift into space. He could certainly understand it, because right now all he wanted was out. He wanted desperately to stop the insanity of his own life.

Everything she said to him outside Kristina's hospital room the night she died was right. He was poison. Death did follow him. Why wasn't he the one lying beneath a white sheet?

Shrugging his shoulders against the ache in his muscles he walked back to Johnny.

"Johnny, go take care of her. I'll go see her doctor tomorrow. Tell Max to call a cab and then join me here in a few minutes. I need some time alone. You go to her. Just go and take care of Alexis."

Johnny began walking back toward the truck and stopped suddenly. Turning back to Sonny, he quietly called out to him.

"Sonny? You called Alexis your best friend."

Sonny looked up and frowned in confusion.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Are you sure that's all she is to you? You might want to give it some thought before you go see the doc."

Staring unwaveringly at Johnny, Sonny let his words sink in. How totally blind can one man be, he asked himself. He knew in that one solitary moment that Alexis in a few short years had become his measure; a measure by which he began to gauge his every action. She somehow became a part of his soul. When she left him everything began to fall apart. All he accomplished personally during his time with her began to melt away and he was left having to look at himself through Carly's eyes. Feeling the bile rise into his throat he turned his back on Johnny as he sank to his knees and retched.

Johnny couldn't stand it any longer. He hated seeing Sonny like this. Walking back to him, he pulled his handkerchief from his back pocket. Kneeling beside Sonny he offered it to the man who at one time he respected more than anyone else.

"It's not too late, Sonny. You still have time to make a difference of your own. She needs you now. Please, don’t let her down. I have to get back to her now, but I need to know if you're gonna be ok."

Grabbing hold of Johnny, Sonny rose to his feet. Hiding his face from Johnny he patted him on the arm a couple of times.

"I'll be fine, Johnny. You go, take care of her. I’ll handle all of the expenses for her. You just concentrate on her." Sonny turned and walked away. Halting a few steps away from Johnny, without turning back to him Sonny made a final request of him.

"Johnny, I'm sure you know there's more to my relationship with her than I am willing to admit right now. But, I need... will you keep me informed of her progress? I need to know what’s going on with her, Johnny. Please."

"I'll call when I can, Sonny. You have my word."

With that one last promise to a man who stood on the brink of his own brand of darkness, Johnny turned and slowly walked away with a heart heavier than he ever imagined it could be.

chapter 04