Part I

It was the day before Christmas and Cameron Lewis sat in his office, looking outside his window at a wonderland of white, everything crisp and heavenly, the heady scent of wood fires dancing in the air, overpowering even the industrial smells of this large city. On days like this you had to look pretty hard to find the messy slush that lurked underneath the pristine snow but it was there nonetheless, both figuratively and literally. That was why he was here. This would be his first Christmas at GH and he admitted to himself everything was working out quite well. He liked working here, he still had time to volunteer at the shelter and even found time to lecture once a week at PCU. A busy life was what he liked. Time spent helping others meant less time to think about the past, new successes blotting out the failures he kept locked inside. Successes…he smiled as he looked at his watch. Time to visit one, well actually two, but who's counting. He locked his door and headed down the hall to see his most important patients, humming "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" under his breath.

As he passed orderlies sporting jaunty Santa caps, nurses and doctors with holly springs pinned to their jackets, Christmas music lightly replacing the Muzak in the air, he thought how wonderful it was that Alexis Davis and little Kristina were going home tomorrow, Christmas Day. Such a long road for both of them, he considered himself a lucky man to be their companion on the journey. He remembered the moment he met her, her nervous yet impassioned ramblings fascinated him. He'd met few women who could say volumes in the space of one intake of breath, not realizing how much it revealed. He learned as he watched her munching a candy bar that Alexis Davis said more with her eyes than a page filled with crabbed handwriting, her personality an intricate combination of vulnerability and velvety steel.

Finding her in the snow was an act of God's mercy and he prayed for that child to survive. Losing someone close to you, a child, was devastating and as he looked into her tired and fearful eyes each day, he knew it was about much more than her premature daughter's life. Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, most hide them deep inside never to be revealed but certain people, like Alexis and he had to admit like himself, carried their heart's reflection in their eyes. Something lay at the heart of Alexis Davis and he was intrigued by it, by her. As he waited with her, defended her to those who should know better, consoled her, shared some of himself - that itself quite unexpected - and slowly learned about her - well as much as she would allow - he sensed a complicated puzzle inside her that she guarded as fiercely as Cerberbus at the gates of the Underworld.

As he walked to her room, one of the choice suites in the hospital, he smiled. Where did he ever get the idea she needed defending from anyone in this hospital? Turns out her family owned the hospital and there were some very red faces when her nephew called them on the carpet for their treatment of her. He arranged for a beautiful room for her and, when she was able to leave NICU, for her tiny baby. Her only request was the room not face the park, quite understandably, and the view include one of the many willow trees that dotted the landscape. Cameron thought it an odd request but she explained she had happy childhood memories of reading beneath a sheltering willow tree at home in Greece and wanted to share its calming beauty and her memories with Kristina. Something in the way she invested such passion in the memory of that tree said even more about the sadness he was learning she carried within.

So, with a view of the lake and a stately weeping willow outside her window, she waited for the day Kristina was to be released from NICU. She had been allowed to hold her in NICU after what seemed to Alexis endless years but the day Kristina was free of the warmer, the tubes, the crabby NICU nurses and all the technology that taught her body to live on its own was the happiest day in Alexis's life and, ironically, in Cameron's too. He wanted to see that smile again, to see a light in her eyes he saw that night in the shelter, a happiness that was now misplaced. Alexis cradled her daughter in her arms and, walking with him and a pediatric nurse by her side, showed her their new room. He watched as Alexis walked to the window and introduced her daughter the world outside, the world she told her where one day they would sit by the lake and laugh at the geese frolicking in the water, have a picnic, pick wildflowers and play hide-and-seek. They would stay here until Kristina gained more weight and the doctors were sure no further problems were on the horizon. She was assigned a private duty nurse and he enjoyed watching her roll her expressive eyes at the excess pampering Cassadine money could buy but didn't deny for a second she loved it.

The sporadic visits of Kristina's father, Ned Ashton, were telling. He did not act like a father or a lover, he was more an emotionally distant friend and Cameron found that interesting. He would wait to broach it, though, until Alexis brought up the subject. He learned quickly she could shut you down with a well-placed astringent word or glance and since they'd started building a friendship outside his helping her, he did not want to jar the fragile connection they started to build. She was fine now, her stress over Kristina lessened as she grew stronger but there was something still perturbing her, whether it was her sister's death, Alcazar's murder or something related to Ned he could not discern, he would have to wait until she was ready to share it. He would catch her sometimes with what he'd come to call her "thinking look", as if she were listening for a memory to call to her, its melody just beyond the reach of her hearing, as if grasping that memory would put to rest the questions in her eyes.

He'd taken to visiting them each day about this time. They would sometimes sit and talk as Kristina slept or as Alexis fed her. They discussed her law practice, the misuse of pop psychology, homeless issues, Impressionist art and 1960's music. They had alot in common but could not be more different - one standing behind a door half open, the other with door barred and locked. They spoke of few personal matters always careful to gauge whether a road was opening too fast. Her fears for Kristina, for losing her were slowing receding but not he felt because she had dealt with them, more because Kristina's progress allowed her to bury them deep again. Yes, lots going on inside that brilliant mind and though he wanted to help her in a professional way, his burgeoning feelings of friendship were waving him off as her privacy was involved. He wanted to help her, he knew he could, but she had to want that help - and ask for it.

Her room was always filled with a riotous display of flowers, her brother Stefan in Europe and her nephew Nikolas assuring she would always be surrounded by an excess of beauty. He recalled the day he walked in to see her sniffling, a small florist box on her lap. He crossed to her and glanced down to see a single gardenia sitting majestically atop some feathery greens in the creamy white box. Her hands played with the small card, a card he could see contained only the words "Remember, one step at a time". Cameron wasn't certain of the significance of the flower or the words but it was the day after Kristina was released from NICU and he could see it affected her deeply as she remained quiet and thoughtful the entire visit.

They would often go to the conservatory and stroll, the three of them, amid the plants and flowers. Alexis would pick out a flower and teach little Kristina, blissfully unaware as she slumbered, about its origin down to the Latin genus. Cameron had to laugh, an image of Alexis creeping in when all were asleep to choose a flower, a flashlight and botany book in hand. This was going to be one very educated little girl.

Today was the hospital Christmas party for the children and Alexis decided on her own that Kristina should attend. Alexis didn't seem one for sentimentality or tradition but this event seemed important to her, even more so that her little one should attend. He urged her to have a care, that it may not be good for Kristina to be exposed to so many people harboring who knows what germs but she looked so wistful he just dropped the subject. Yesterday he brought her the crocheted outfit he'd found at a senior center arts and crafts sale down the street from the homeless shelter. It was impossibly tiny, white with tiny stitched poinsettias along with matching hat and blanket. It just seemed right and that insight was confirmed as Alexis looked at it, mouth agape, speechless. She smiled at him shyly as she touched it and asked if he was going to the party.

"Yes. Just about everyone on staff has related the history of the reading of the Christmas story and I got the distinct impression attendance will be taken by Audrey Hardy. I've been regaled with Steve Hardy anecdotes - now there is a man I would have enjoyed sitting and having a drink with - and how the story is now read by Alan Quartermaine but, according to my survey, just isn't the same as Dr. Steve," replied Cameron as he watched her tapered fingers trace the poinsettias with a smile.

"It's pretty much a family affair for Ned, the Quartermaines being so involved with the hospital," said Alexis quietly.

"Well, I'd say in the pecking order at GH the Cassadines have to be on the top rung when it comes to hospital perks," grinned Cameron.

Alexis looked around her sumptuous room, laughed and said, "Money makes the world go around and my family has oodles more than the Quartermaines. I never used to care that much - except to work the legal side for the family - but after a few weeks of this, I'm getting awfully spoiled. Knowing me as he does, my brother would find that sentiment quite amusing."

"You miss your brother, don't you?" asked Cameron sensing a crack opening in that door.

"Although at times I could have happily strangled him, I do miss him very much. We grew much closer the last year he lived here and, with my sister gone, his absence is much more acute. I am close to my nephew but Stefan and I grew up together, we slayed dragons on behalf of each other and just know each other like the proverbial book," she said, wistfully.

Cameron studied her and smiled, "Why is it when you reference dragons I get the impression you are speaking literally and not figuratively?"

Alexis smirked and said, "Well, Cameron, you may be onto something there but THAT is a discussion for another day." She moved off to check Kristina who began fussing. The moment Alexis placed her hand on her heart, she stopped and a dimple formed on one cheek, just like her Mother.

Cameron noted she left the door open just a crack and found he was restless to investigate what was behind it.

"Well, I'll see you at the party. I hope a little holiday cheer in the guise of spiked rum punch is on the menu," he laughed as he walked to the door.

"No, sorry to disappoint, just the standard sparkling punch and holiday cookies. But you haven't lived until you've seen Amy Vining dressed as Santa's elf in green spandex!" Alexis laughed as she picked up Kristina.

She watched him leave, a quizzical expression on her face. She wasn't quite sure what to make of Cameron Lewis but she did know she liked him. He'd been there for her in a difficult time - as a professional yes - but a friendship had also sparked and that made her feel special. He cared about her - a stranger - more than Ned, her family or anyone else since Sonny and she needed that care at this time in her life. Sonny was gone from her life and Kristina was dead, the two persons who understood her better than she did herself and she felt very much alone. Ned never truly understood her and still didn't - and it showed. It felt good to have someone just to talk to, someone who could help her make sense of the questions, those easily answered and even those full of cryptic nuance. She and Cameron talked to each other, listened to each other and she felt comfortable with him. That disturbed her slightly as she'd vowed never to open up and let her guard down to trust again after dropping all her walls to include Sonny in her world and it all collapsed around her, the only thing left her precious daughter, their daughter.

With a sigh, she touched Kristina's cheek marveling at the softness and the clean baby smell. It bespoke of new life, freshness, a clean slate. Alexis wanted to give her the world in every moment, to share each new experience, to speak to her of the secret passions she buried deep in her heart.

"Well, my Little One, look at what Uncle Cameron brought for you. Isn't it pretty? You are going to be the best-dressed little girl at the party and maybe, just maybe, you might even get a peek at your Daddie," Alexis said hopefully as she rained butterfly kisses on their daughter.

Part II