A Kiss Goodnight
by Cowgirl

part 9

Alexis stood facing her door. In two seconds she was going to open it and go across the hall and have dinner with him. It was fine, they've had dinner at his place before...no big deal right? She shook her head. Of course it was a big deal. Before they never told one another that they were in love with each other. Before they had no clue what the other one was feeling and it was so much easier. Now there was a tension between them.

She closed her eyes. He had to know she was right. He had to see that they could never be together...there were just too many obstacles. Okay Alexis...stop it. Just walk across the damn hall and act like normal, that's what you wanted right? That's what she had told Sonny, that she wanted to be friends for a very long time. The only problem was since their little confession session, thoughts of Sonny's lips touching hers kept creeping into her mind when she least suspected it. Those thoughts led to deeper thoughts...how it would feel to make love to him...to sleep in his arms and wake up to his beautiful face. It was these thoughts that invited the panic she was feeling at this moment. How could she go on seeing him and pretending everything was as normal as ever when she desperately wanted to find out if reality was better than her day dreams. She drew a large breath and opened her door. There...it's open...now walk, she chided herself and did just that.

Sonny opened the door almost as soon as she knocked. "Hi," he said nonchalantly as he gave her a once over. She looked so damn sexy when she wore jeans and the lavender sweater she was wearing was cut just low enough at the neck to drive him insane. "You...ah...you look nice."

Alexis gave him a sobering look. "I look like I always look when I'm not in work attire."

Sonny shook his head. "You don't have to get so defensive I just gave you a compliment...if you want I'll take it back."

Alexis rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump at you. It's just that..."

"What are you nervous about Alexis?" he asked softly.

Alexis thought for a moment as she searched his face. "I'm not sure?" she shrugged.

Sonny smiled and put his hands on her shoulders, turning her around and steering her towards the dining room table.

"Nothing to be nervous about," he said as he pulled out the chair for her. "I'm going to serve you dinner and we're going to eat it...just like we have a million times before."

Alexis sat down and Sonny snapped up a cloth napkin from the table, spreading it out, he dropped it neatly onto her lap. She watched as he turned and went into the kitchen. Oh God I can't do this. I can’t sit here when I want him so badly it hurts. She stood up and took a few steps away from the table, contemplating leaving.

Sonny emerged from the kitchen with a tray of the most delicious smelling food. He stopped and looked at her.

"What's wrong?"

She breathed hard a couple of times. "Nothing," she said finally and sat down.

He set the tray on the table and moved around, squatting down next to her chair. "Look, it’s obvious you're stressed out about being here. You want to leave?"

She stared straight ahead for a minute and collected her thoughts. "I...it's different now."

"What's different now Lex?"

She waved her hand. "This...us...this isn't like normal and you know it. We both know something about the other and it's like someone let a huge elephant into the room and it's standing there and we refuse to acknowledge it." She looked over at him. "How do we acknowledge it Sonny? I mean what do we do about this?"

He looked down and then back to her. "I'll tell you how I'm going to handle this okay?"

She nodded her head.

"Okay. You know how I feel and I know how you feel but you think we should just stay good friends and not let our romantic feelings get in the way right?"

"That sounds right."

"Yeah...well, I'm going to respect your wishes. I'm going to treat you like I've treated you every day for the past two years and I hope you're going to do the same. I'm going to cook meals for you so that I know you're eating something nutritional at least some of the time. I'm going to knock on your door and ask you advice about things. You're going to come over here and ramble at me when you have a problem and ream me out when you're good and mad at me." He stopped and took her hand between both of his, gazing at it for a moment before meeting her eyes again. "But there's one thing that I can't do and that's pretend that I don't have feelings for you. I'm not going to force those feelings on you or brow beat you into submission, but I'm not going to lock up my feelings and pretend I never had them. I'm not going to stop wanting to get closer to you. I'm not going to avoid you or let you avoid me so that you can avoid your feelings either. You said you wanted to be my friend and I'm holding you to that. Someday, down the line I hope you'll change your mind and want to give us a try, but until then...I'm going to be your friend, just like always." He let go of her hands and stood up. "How's that work for you?" he asked as he took his seat across from her.

She couldn't help but smile and shake her head. "I'll take it."

"Good...now, let's eat."

"Let's eat."

Dinner, of course, was delectable and much to Alexis' relief, they were able to have inane conversation like they always did when they ate together. There were a few times when Alexis could feel him watching her as she ate and she would glance up. He would quickly avert his eyes and become immensely involved with what was on his plate and she would find herself staring at him as he did this.

When dinner was over she helped him clear the table and he insisted that she return to the living room while he loaded the dish washer. "Alexis, I can do this without your help. Go relax," he had said as he set dishes neatly into the waiting racks.

"I just want to help. I mean you always go through all this trouble cooking for me and I just want to return the favor..."

"Lex. Go on and have a seat in the living room. Hey, I know, why don't you go pour a couple of drinks okay?"

She nodded. "Scotch?"

He smiled. "What else."

"I don't know how you drink that stuff, it's perfectly awful."

"It's an acquired taste." He said huskily as he leveled his eyes at hers. "Like most things in life."

Alexis bit her lip and breathed deep. "I'll go fix those drinks," she sputtered out as she turned to leave the room.

Once in the sanctity of the living room Alexis stopped and leaned on the bar. God this was harder than she thought it would be. He was so beautiful and the harder she tried not to focus on that the harder it became to block it out. She knew Sonny and she believed him when he said he wasn't going to push his feelings onto her, but she also knew that he would subtly try to romance her if she let him. He would give her looks and the tone of his voice would change. His fingers would brush against hers at times like they did when she handed him their discarded wine glasses to be washed. Even if he wasn't aware that he was doing it, he wanted something and he would subconsciously go after it even if he wasn't supposed to. It was Sonny's nature to want to do things that he wasn't supposed to. If someone told him no, it was a clear and concise signal to Sonny that he should go right on ahead and do what he wanted to anyway.

Could she survive something like this? She shook her head. Sooner or later it would subside. He still loved his ex-wife no matter what he tried to do to forget that. He could claim up and down that it was over...done...not going to happen again, and Alexis believed that he thought just that, but somewhere down the line Carly will have a trauma that Sonny will sweep in and help her out of. She would decide at one time or another that she wanted him back and he will comply. She let out a sigh as she poured his scotch into a tumbler. No, this will subside. He'll get over what he thinks he feels for her and everything will go back to being the way they were before they decided to open their big mouths and profess love to one another. There was only one thing that she was sure wasn't going to change no matter how badly she wished it would. She loved him. She loved him and the more time she spent with him she loved him even more.

She shook her head and carried the scotch into the kitchen where she found Sonny wiping his hands on a dish towel. He turned and smiled at her as she approached holding his drink out to him.

He took it and let his index finger gently slide across the top of her hand. "Thanks."

She looked at him sheepishly. "You're welcome."

He took a sip of the scotch and laid his hand on the small of her back, guiding her out of the kitchen and into the living room. "So what do you want to do now?"

Alexis swallowed hard and sat down on the couch. "We could go over those contracts."

Sonny stood above her and looked at her. "I don't want to work tonight Alexis."

She shrugged her shoulders. "What do you want to do then?"

He cocked his head to the side and thought for a moment. "Wanna get outta here?"

She looked up at him. "And go where?"

He shrugged. "Don't care. I'm restless," he said setting his drink down on the table and reaching for her hand. He helped her stand up and pulled her towards the door. "Let's go take a walk down by the docks or something...maybe stop in Kelly's for a coffee?"

Alexis nodded. "I could go for some coffee."

He smiled and let her hand slide from his. "Then that's what we'll do."

part 10