A Kiss Goodnight
by Cowgirl

part 6

Jax watched his lunch companion as she absently dragged her fork slowly back and forth through her uneaten salad, alternately shaking her head and sighing. He reached across the table and stilled her hand with his. "Hey, tough day?"

Alexis blinked and looked up. "Huh? Oh...I...yeah, tough day."

He tilted his head and crinkled his eyes. "What's on your mind counselor?"

She stared at him her mind unable to focus on anything but the look that was on Sonny's face when she left his penthouse earlier. She pursed her lips. "Just a lot going through my head right now." She waved her hand. "It's nothing."

"Well, usually when you're thinking about your cases, there's this little crease that goes right here." He said touching his finger lightly to her forehead. "I don't know, you seem more melancholy than normal."

Alexis raised an eyebrow. "I'm never melancholy."

"Exactly. So what gives? Are you and Kristina fighting?"

She shook her head. "Kristina and I are getting along famously."

"Ned on your case again?"

"Not lately...then again I haven't seen him much since the three of you tried to ambush me."

Jax chuckled and nodded his head. "Yeah, I'd like to apologize for that."

"Don't bother. Somewhere back in the deepest recesses of my mind I realize that the three of you are trying to tell me that you care."

Jax leaned forward resting his arms on the table. "So, if it's not Kristina or Ned then it must be a certain client of yours.

Alexis straightened in her chair and fiddled with her napkin. "What makes you think everything in my life has to do with...a certain client of mine?"

He raised his eyebrows. "So your current mood has nothing to do with Corinthos," he egged her on.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Okay, so what if it does. I'll work things out in my head and it will be fine."

"Is he giving you a hard time?"

Alexis smiled weakly. "No, quite the opposite actually."

"I don't follow."

She tilted her head back and looked at the ceiling for a moment before returning her gaze to her ex-husband. "Jax, no offense, but I can't talk about Sonny with you. You're not exactly objective."

Jax wiped a finger across his chin and looked at her sincerely. "Alexis, you're my good friend and my favorite ex-wife. I'll listen to anything that's bothering you...even if it has to do with Corinthos."

Alexis propped her forehead against her fingertips. "It's...it's complicated."

"Something has happened between the two of you I take it."

Alexis' eyes widened. "I didn't say that."

Jax leaned closer to her and smiled. "You didn't have to, it's written all over your face."

Alexis stared at him silently toiling with whether she should continue this conversation. She looked down at the table and smoothed out the napkin on her lap. "Sonny and I are very good friends," she said without looking up.
Jax nodded. "I know."

Alexis shook her head and waved a hand. "There's this thing between us that I can't explain...this...connection of sorts." She looked up at him. "I know that none of you can fathom what I'm talking about, but..." She touched a finger to her forehead in frustration. "My feelings for Sonny...they've changed."

Jax wanted to wince. He had suspected for a while that Alexis was becoming too enamoured with Sonny. He wanted to shake her and tell her to snap out of it, but looking at her sitting across from him suddenly nervous and fidgety, unable to express herself without difficulty on this subject forced him to remain silent. It wasn't easy for his friend to talk about things like this.

Alexis' eyes darted around the room as if looking for rescue, but she continued. "And his feelings for me have changed...so he says."

"And you don't believe him?"

"I don't know...maybe. I mean he's being sincere, but there's always that specter of Carly looming in the background. I'm never sure if his feelings for me stem from relief that he has someone to fill the void that his divorce has created or if he's really gotten over her."

Alexis, do you want a relationship with Sonny?"

She looked up at his question, a look of panic in her eyes. "I don't know," she said desperately. "There are definitely more cons than pros to getting involved romantically with him."

"You're in love with him," Jax said softly but directly.

Alexis squeezed her eyes shut, her hand coming up and cradling her face for a moment as she pushed back emotion.

Finally her head nodded in the affirmative and she looked up. "I can't help it," she answered him as tears pooled in her eyes.

"And it's bothering you that you feel this way," Jax finished for her.

She nodded again. "I shouldn't feel this way for him...should I?"

Jax took a deep breath and sat up straight. "I guess it's true that we don't chose who we fall in love with."

Alexis gave him a tiny smile, dabbing her eyes with her napkin. "You just wish it wasn't Sonny I happened to fall in love with," she said teasingly.

Jax grinned. "Well, he wouldn't be my first choice...or my second...or my..."

Alexis held up her hand. "All right...I get it," she paused. "My instinct is to give into it...but my mind says don't do it."

Jax looked at her tenderly. He hated Sonny Corinthos, hated the way he seemed to destroy women and here he was staring at yet another woman who's closer to him in this world than most and she loves Sonny...Alexis of all people.

"Have you and Corinthos talked about this?"

Alexis ran a hand through her bangs and nodded. "A bit, yes. It didn't go very well."

"Why not?"

He wants a relationship and I have severe reservations about that and said so." Her face grew sad. "And it hurt him."

"And it hurt you too."

She nodded, the tears threatening again.

Jax reached over and laid a hand on her arm giving it a gentle squeeze. "What does your heart want Alexis?"

Alexis looked down at the tablecloth and pondered this before looking back to Jax, giving him a weary grin. "My heart wants to get on a plane and get as far away from here as possible."

Jax chuckled. "Running away won't solve anything."

"I know that."

"So where did the two of you leave it?"

Alexis drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly," he asked me if I wanted to be with him and I told him that I was in love with him but I didn't want to compromise the relationship that we’ve worked so hard to build and maintain."

She shrugged. "He thinks that I'm embarrassed to be with him."

"And you're not?"

She closed her eyes. "It's not that. I mean I'm not embarrassed of Sonny. He and I being together would complicate so many other things...my job for one thing." She folded her hands under her chin. "Jax, I mean really. Can you see me and Sonny as a couple?"

Jax thought about this for a minute as he gazed at his friend. "You mean a couple as in spends all their time together, keeping one another's secrets, trusting the other implicitly, defending one another no matter what the cost? Seeing things in one another that no one else does?"

Alexis looked up at him. "What are you getting at Jax?" she asked, knowing full well what he was getting at.

He leaned his elbow on the table. "Look, Alexis, you know you mean the world to me. I love you and I don't want to see you get mixed up with this man..." he paused and sighed. "But you seem to love him very much and as much as I hate to say it...you and Sonny have all those things between you that I just mentioned...and more."

"So you're telling me I should be with him."

"I'm telling you that maybe you should do what's going to make you happy. Does Sonny make you happy Alexis?"

She gave him a perplexed smile and raised her eyebrows. "Sometimes...most of the time I guess. The other times he infuriates me so much I just want to choke him."

"Well only you can make the final decision Alexis and do what's best for you."

Alexis nodded her head. "That's not as easy as you might think."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alexis had come home from her lunch with Jax much more confused then before she had met with him. Jax was a good man and he cared about Alexis, she knew that. She also knew the history behind Jax and Sonny and that it was probably eating Jax alive to know that she was in love with his archenemy. But he had been understanding and supportive of her when she had told him her dilemma. He was right she and Sonny had a lot of good things between them and those things were hard to ignore.

She sat on the couch finishing up the paperwork she needed to take to Sonny later and thought about their relationship. On the one hand Sonny made her feel good. He never acted as if she were bothersome and tedious with her rantings like Ned used to. He didn't treat her like a little girl who needed to be put in her place from time to time. Alexis knew that she hadn’t laughed or cried or argued with anyone like she did when she did those things with Sonny. That had to mean something didn't it? It had to be something that drew them together time and time again. Something that made Alexis defend him so vigorously to her loved ones. Something that made Sonny willing to put a strain on his marriage over and over again because of their friendship.

Why on earth was Sonny Corinthos the perfect man for her? He was a criminal, he was dangerous, he had almost gotten her killed on more than one occasion...but he was warm and kind and understanding to her and offered his friendship and love without the strings that others had offered to her all her life. He was the first person since she was a very little girl to make her feel safe and protected. So why did she feel so strongly that moving their relationship beyond what they had now would be a recipe for disaster? She shook her head and stood up. "Okay, you can do this Alexis. Just go on over there hand him the paperwork and have a friendly dinner with him. You can do that." She said to herself as she headed across the hall and knocked on the door.

She heard the sound of feet shuffling and minutes later the door opened, and to Alexis' horror, Carly's face stared back at her. Carly's eyebrow shot up and her look of boredom mixed with hatred that she reserved specifically for

Alexis clouded her face. "What do you want."

Alexis cleared her throat. "I have some papers for Sonny that he needs to sign," she said, sidestepping Carly and entering the apartment.

Carly closed the door behind her. "Don't you have your own home Alexis? Shouldn't you spend time there?"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Is Sonny around?" she asked ignoring the other woman's bile.

"I'm here." Sonny's voice called out as he emerged from the kitchen, a guilty expression on his face as he looked at Alexis. He nodded at her. "Those the contracts?"

"Yeah, just sign them and get them back to me," she said, her disappointment that Carly was obviously not leaving anytime soon, welling up inside her.

"Is that it? Are you done now?" Carly broke in and opened the door. "You can go then, as you can see..." she said indicating the candle lit dining room table made up for two. "Sonny and I were about to have dinner."

Alexis nodded. "I'm on my way," she said quietly and headed out the door. Carly being sure to slam it after her.

She was almost to her door when Sonny's opened again. She stopped expecting at least one more barb from Carly, but it was Sonny's voice who called to her. "Lex?"

She turned around as Sonny came out into the hall closing his door behind him. He moved to her until he was inches away and put his hands on her upper arms. "I'm really sorry," he said, seeing the obvious hurt and disappointment in her eyes. "She stopped over earlier and I was in the middle of cooking. She just invited herself to stay for dinner."

Alexis held up a hand. "There's no need to explain," she replied and tried to turn to leave.

Sonny held her firmly in place. "Hey, that table in there was set for you. I was cooking for you."

Alexis took a deep breath. "It's all right Sonny, really. I've got a ton of work to do any way. It's for the best."

Sonny squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. This was turning into a big mess. "Lex, don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you," she responded. "Consequently I also came over to tell you that I need to go out of town for a few days. I have a client that needs me to come help them out in Manhattan."

Sonny looked at her face for a moment trying to see if she was telling the truth. She wasn't. She was looking for an excuse to avoid him. "Don't do this Alexis," he said pleadingly.

"What? Go help my clients? I do have other clients to worry about Sonny."

"You're running away."

"I'm doing nothing of the sort. Not everything has something to do with you Sonny. Now, you have a guest waiting and I have work to do so if you'll excuse me." She said as she separated herself and hurried into her apartment.

part 7