A Kiss Goodnight
by Cowgirl

part 3

Sonny cleared away the remnants of their meal and entered back into the living room not seeing Alexis right away.

"Over here," she said from her spot by his balcony window.

Sonny moved and stood next to her.

"I never really looked out this window. It's quite a view."

"Yeah, it is," Sonny said not taking his eyes off of Alexis.

She realized what he meant and blushed. "You ever go out there?" she said indicating the balcony.

Sonny shook his head. "Not too much."

"You should live a little."

"That's why I don't go out there."

Alexis looked at him. "Big bad mobster's afraid of heights?"

Sonny chuckled. "Stray bullets."

"Forty stories up?"

Sonny pointed across the way at other buildings.

"Oh." She could feel Sonny's eyes on her. She met his eyes. "What?"

Sonny raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Nothing." He reached out and threaded his hand through her hair. Alexis felt herself relaxing into it. Then suddenly she remembered where she was and who was touching her and her eyes snapped open.

Sonny gave her a tender look. "Forgot yourself for a moment didn't you?" he asked teasingly.

Alexis blushed and lowered her eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about," she tried to cover.

Sonny smiled. "When I touched you just now. You liked it, you were responding to it and then you realized that it was me touching you and got this panicked look in your eyes."

She looked up at him and took a deep breath to push down the swell of emotions that were rising in her chest. "What's happening here?" she asked quietly.

Sonny thought over her question for a minute before answering. He had to choose his words carefully so he wouldn't frighten her. "I don't know exactly." He said in a whisper. "I know that I'm realizing that my feelings for you are changing...have changed and I don't know if I should act on that or not." He stretched his neck and took a few steps away from her, looking her straight in the eye. "I'm scared Alexis."

Alexis tilted her head and waited for him to continue.

He gave her a sheepish grin. "I don't say that too often. You're the only one that's probably ever heard me say that." He shook his head. "And that's what scares me. Why do I feel so comfortable talking to you? Why is it that I can say whatever I'm feeling only to you?" He could feel himself start to tremble as he spoke. "When you and I are together, I don't feel like I have to be Sonny Corinthos powerful..." he stopped and smirked. "Business man." He looked at her again. "Maybe that's why I like being with you so much." He took a step closer. "Why do you have this power over me?"

Alexis' heart was on overdrive, beating a mile a minute. She was used to Sonny being open with her, but seeing him so vulnerable was touching new nerves in her. She cleared her throat. "I don't know."

He nodded. "You confuse me Alexis," he said honestly.

"I...I'm not trying to confuse you. I mean I..."

He silenced her by placing his fingers gently to her lips. " I don't mean you do it on purpose." He tilted his head and scrutinized her. "Why do you hang around me? I mean I can see overlooking some things to have me as a client...the money's good, but why have you let yourself get as close to me as you and me have become?"
Alexis captured his wrist and brought his hand away from her face, glancing at their joined hands briefly before breaking the contact.

"You're my friend," she said matter of factly. "And whatever questionable things people accuse you of, and no matter how much I suspect some of them are true..." She stopped and looked at his face. "I see good in you. I see a warm, caring man that doesn’t show that side of himself to many people. You understand me, and you put up with me. You never question what I'm doing or why I do it. You understand my fears and that means a lot to me." She began a slow pace around the room. "You and I have an understanding between us. We are what we are and who we are and neither one of us expects the other to change or conform to some idealistic mold." She stopped and faced him. "I like that you're a flawed man. Everybody is flawed, some more than others, the difference is you are willing to learn from it." She shook her head. "Ned never got that. He was quick to point out other people's flaws...my flaws, but never stopped to think about how he may have contributed to my flaws."

Sonny stepped closer to her. "But why is it that you and I can look at each other...see each other's flaws and not want to change them? I mean Carly certainly had her flaws and I was always harping on her to be better, to do this and not do that. She did the same thing to me. Why don't you and I do that?"

Alexis' brow furrowed. During the course of their conversation it was becoming more and more clear to her why. The question was did she have the nerve to say it out loud. To throw it out there on the table and see what happened. She bit the corner of her lower lip and chewed on it nervously for a minute and then released it with a sigh.

"Because when two people have deep...emotions...feelings for one another, they overlook certain aspects because they don't seem as important in the grand scheme of things." There...she said it and she didn't have to betray her heart and tell him it was because she loved him and his flaws didn't matter as much as his love did.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I had deep feelings for Carly...and Brenda...why wasn't I able to do it for them?"

"Because they were unable to give it back to you I suppose."

"Does that mean that I didn't really love them and vice versa?"

Alexis' breath caught when he said the word love. "No," she said breathily. "You loved both Carly and Brenda...I know that and you know that."

"Then why is it different with us?"

She closed her eyes. God, don't make me say it. I don't want to say it because if you don’t feel the same way I'm going to die.

Sonny took a couple of steps and closed the gap between them. He tenderly brought his arms up and let them rest on her shoulders, his hands clasping together behind her head. "Alexis, did you like it when I kissed you last night?"
She forced herself to look into his eyes and give him a small nod. "Yes."

He stared at her, looking in her eyes for some sign that she didn't want him to continue. "Is what your sister told me true Alexis?"

Her heart stopped. It felt like she had a giant water balloon growing bigger inside her chest and it was about to explode. Every nerve in her body tingled with electricity. Was she ready to do this? Could she tell him right now?

"Yes." She said timidly as a tear rolled out of her eye and down her right cheek.

Sonny's hand moved to her face and gently wiped it away. "You know you didn't even have to answer. Everything you've done for me lately...every conversation we've had...when I took the time to really stop and look at you...I knew you loved me."

She was trembling uncontrollably. He let his arms drop down and wrap around her waist as he pulled her tightly against him. He nuzzled his cheek next to hers, his mouth next to her ear. "I've been falling in love too Alexis."

part 4