It Happened
by SexisFan

It happened. Sometimes I still can't believe that it did, but it happened. It wasn't planned. But maybe it was inevitable.

Alexis and I are connected, we have been for a long time. There's something about us that is the same deep inside, probably something that was created during those years when we were surviving our childhoods. There's an understanding we have that runs deeper than all of our differences. It's not something that can really be thought out or explained. It's not something you know in your head right away. It's something you feel in your gut when you meet someone whose soul mirrors your own. It's something I felt the first time I met Alexis.

Our connection has changed over time. It was never something we spent much time or effort defining. Mostly, we just went with it. Some people couldn't accept it. Ned was always threatened by it. So was Carly. Maybe they could sense where this connection would take us eventually. Maybe they could see that there was no stopping fate. Whatever they saw, they saw more clearly than either Alexis or I did. Or maybe we did see it, but we didn't want to look too closely because if we did then we'd have to deal with a truth that we were denying to everyone around us.

I couldn't deny the truth anymore, though, when I looked into Alexis' eyes and knew that she was prepared to walk out of my life forever. What I felt when she said she was moving out of her penthouse, that wasn't anything to compare with the fear that rocked me when she told me that she was done with me if I went through with my revenge on AJ. I looked deep into her eyes and saw her heart that day, and there was no doubt that she meant what she said. I had a choice to make. I could take my revenge and lose her, or I could let go of my plan and hold on to Alexis.

I guess that's when we started down a road with no turning back. I stood there looking at her, and a million thoughts and feelings were trying to take over my mind at the same time. You know those toys kids have? The tube you look through and see a design made up from thousands of little pieces of color all mixing together and tumbling over each other? That's what it was like inside my head that night. There was a flash of what it would be like to never see Alexis' eyes sparkle at me again. Then a flash of never seeing her smile at me again. For a second I wondered when she last smiled at me. Would I ever be able to think back and recall that smile, and know that it was the last? Or did I take her smiles for granted so much that I would never be able to remember that last one? There was a piece of a thought about how empty the penthouse level would be with her apartment vacant and her energy gone. No more teasing. No more flirting. No more talks about things no one else would ever understand. No one left in my life to trust completely. No one to see me for who I am. My life would be as empty as her penthouse would be. There wouldn't even be business contact. Nothing. She would cut me out of her life and the thought nearly stopped my heart.

At the same time, flashes of Brenda shot through my brain. Is this how she felt when I cut her out of my life? Is this what Carly felt? But I was weak with them. I opened the door back up to them because they had a certain hold on me. I don't have that hold on Alexis. I'm not in her blood. But suddenly I wanted to be.

Call it off. That's what I told Benny when I picked up the phone. I could feel Alexis relax behind me. I hung up the phone and turned to her. She didn't smile. She didn't say a word. She just looked at me with sad eyes, and turned toward the door. I know she was only withdrawing for a little to recover from our stand-off. But when I saw her move for the door, I was still filled with the fear and emptiness I'd felt at the thought of losing her. I panicked. I acted on impulse, an impulse that drove me to get into her blood in a way that would mean that she could never walk away from me completely.

That's when I kissed her.

It happened so fast. I reached out and grabbed her wrist as she started for the door. She stopped and turned toward me even as I tugged on her arm, demanding her attention. Her eyes met mine. I could see a question in them. She had no idea what I was about to do, I could see that, too. I took a step toward her, very quickly, before she could react. I reached up and took her face in my hands at the same moment my lips met hers. I wasn't gentle, not with that kiss. I was desperate. I was driven. I needed her.

She tensed up right away. Her hands grabbed my wrists and I knew that if she tried to pull away, I'd have to let her go. I couldn't force myself on her. So with everything in me, I willed my need and my desire into that kiss, wanting her to feel the same need and desire to strengthen our connection yet again.

Her grip on my wrists slackened, though her hands stayed where they were. My kiss softened a bit then. It was still driven, still demanding, but fueled by hunger more than fear. I'd come so close to losing her from my life, and suddenly I needed all of her that she'd give to me. I slid my arms around her, bringing her close to my body in a tight embrace. Her hands moved to my shoulders, then to my neck and to my head as she wound her arms around me and joined me in my hunger. Up until that second, maybe there was a chance of us stopping what was about to happen. But once I felt from her a desire to match my own, there was no going back.

Suddenly, I couldn't get enough of her. I had to touch her and taste her. I rained kisses across her brow, along her jaw, and down her neck while my fingers unfastened the buttons on her jacket. Pulling her arms from around my neck, I pushed the jacket from her shoulders, a movement she mirrored as she slipped my own jacket from my body. Her arms wound around my neck again as we continued to deepen our kisses. My head was swimming with disbelief. Even as I tugged the tails of her silk blouse the waistband of her skirt, it seemed too good to be true. It didn't seem real, that this woman could want me the way that I wanted her. That she'd welcome me into the blood coursing through her veins, pounding in her heart, warming the smooth, soft expanse of her skin.

I slid my hands underneath her blouse. I needed to feel her skin, needed to feel its heat and know that her desire for me was the cause. At the same time, I realized that she'd managed to unbutton my shirt and pull it free of my slacks. Or maybe I did it for her. I don't know. I just know that I could feel her hands roaming across my chest, stroking my skin and gently kneading my muscles.

God, I needed her so much.

I lifted my mouth from hers, finally, and looked deeply into her eyes. Neither of us said a thing. I think we were both scared that words would make us have to think rationally about what we were getting ready to do. And neither of us wanted to risk that.

I took her hands in mine and kissed them, never breaking my gaze from hers. I spoke to her heart with my eyes, and read the response of her heart I her own. Slipping my arm around her waist, I turned us toward the stairs and escorted her up to my room. The excitement rose with every step that took us closer to my bed. I'm not sure either of us remembered to breathe as we climbed the stairs. I know that I was dizzy with desire when we passed through the doorway into the bedroom. She'd been in here not long ago. But while I'd playfully pushed the envelope that night, kind of hoping that she'd take the bait, this was different. This wasn't a game gone out of control. This was as real as it gets.

There was a moment of awkwardness when we entered the bedroom. I felt Alexis hesitate just a beat. Was she thinking better of this? Or just uncertain of how to respond next? I took her by the shoulders and turned her gently to face me. I peered into her warm chocolate eyes and tried to read her readiness. I licked my lips. Are you sure?, I was going to ask her. But I didn't have the chance. As soon as my lips parted, she claimed them with her own, and I had my answer. As I worked the buttons on her blouse open and slid the silk from her skin, I felt her hands travel from my chest to my belly. Our kisses continued as she expertly slipped my belt from its buckle. Slowly and seductively the leather slipped from the loops about my waist. As I was lowering the zip on her skirt and leaving it to fall to the floor, she was unhooking my waistband and opening my fly. I felt her fingertips lightly play with the wisps of hair that trail from my belly toward that part of me suddenly aching even more for her touch.

That's when I knew it was time to introduce Alexis to the joys of satin. Looking back, I kind of laugh remembering how we nearly fell over each other in our eagerness to slip beneath those sheets. I don't know if I'll ever figure out how a woman can be so hot and hilarious at the same time, but somehow Alexis manages it, and I love that about her. There is a freedom to our intimacy that I've never felt with anyone else.

So much of what happened next is kind of a blur of passion and pleasure. Skin as smooth as the satin sheets is what I remember most vividly. I just couldn't get enough of the feel of her body against mine. Every once in a while the reality of the encounter would flash through my mind and I'd be awed by the realization that I was actually getting to touch Alexis in this way. One second we're friends with all sorts of proper boundaries between us. And the next we're completely exposed to each other, sharing the most intimate of touches. I remember looking down at her flushed face, staring into her eyes to make sure she was still with me before making that ultimate union, the one that could never be undone. I swear, the trust and warmth I saw in her gaze was so raw and perfect it actually made my heart ache from the beauty of it.

Alexis is an amazing woman. An overachiever in everything that she does. And I couldn't have been more pleased. Literally. And that's how it happened. We'd shared our trust with each other. We'd shared our souls, scarred from surviving. We'd faced death together. We'd grown into each other's lives. And with this final connection we'd climbed into each other's blood. There was no going back now, no matter what might happen.

That's when the phone rang and with the call came our first test. It isn't over yet, but I'm not concerned. The connections will survive and bring us back to each other. I'm certain of it. I'd never expected to find a relationship with a woman that would give me everything. Some had understanding but no loyalty, some loyalty but little understanding. Some had passion but no trust, some trust but no passion. Then there came Alexis, revealing herself bit by bit to my heart until finally, it happened.