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Idle
Hands
by Lionel
chapter
7
Dinner
was surprisingly nice. He took her to a Venezuelan café in
the university district, far more casual than the places they usually
went, though with no prying eyes to put on a show for she was a
bit at a loss as to how to behave. There was no need for holding
hands over the table or indiscreet touches not quite beneath it,
and no excuse either, so they didnt touch and didnt
kiss, but he did take her coat and pull out her chair and pour her
wine. All in all, it was rather like a first date, except that the
moments of awkwardness were deepened and the moments of ease were
made awkward by the rock on her finger that bound her to him unwillingly
and that was too flashy to forget.
As
first dates go, it wasnt bad, though Alexis would be loath
to admit it was any kind of date at all. Lorenzo offered a stream
of intelligent, sometimes witty conversation, told a funny story
or two, listened respectfully when she spoke. And even if she did
have a dozen excuses for her ridiculous dream of him the night before,
she was woman enough to admit on a purely objective level,
of course that he wasnt hard on the eyes. If not for
the ring on her finger and all it signified, she might have had
fun, but as it was she couldnt allow that, and so each time
she caught herself enjoying Lorenzo for a moment, forgetting that
it was all an act for him, she chastised herself. She cut her laughter
short and withdrew from the conversation, taking some solace from
the uncomfortable silence that descended each time. At least the
silence was honest, far more honest than mannerly chatter or feigned
adoration, more honest than anything but the vicious sniping and
cool toying they seemed to have put behind them.
She
didnt really mind the fakery; it was Lorenzo seizing the lead
she didnt like, for it denied her the satisfaction of mastery.
She almost wished he would do something offensive so she would have
reason to lash out or scold or mold, or that he would flirt with
her so she could flirt back in the abrasive way that had become
almost a reflex, but his behavior was flawless and unfamiliar
in fact, it was everything she might have demanded, as if he had
skipped ahead and learned every lesson she had planned to teach
him. There was nothing for her to object to, no misbehavior to correct,
no training necessary. It left her nothing to do but match his cordiality
in kind and wonder what his game was. It was dismaying.
Lorenzo
dusted the conversation with explanations of the foods they ate,
a brief treatise on Venezuelas volatile post-colonial history,
and a few innocuous anecdotes, never too personal, never too pointed,
and as the meal wound down, he started to tell her about a hiking
trek he once took through Venezuelas Roraima plateau, his
recall prompted by a tourism poster on the restaurants wall.
Alexis listened to his description of Roraimas eerie moonscapes,
rapt in spite of herself, but he cut himself off mid-sentence with
a self-denigrating wave of the hand and a pre-emptive apology for
boring her. She could tell from the look in his eyes that Luis had
been about to make an appearance in the story, which really wasnt
the least bit boring, and she didnt press him to continue.
Whether he cut himself off for her benefit or his own, she couldnt
tell, but she let the silence settle over them, savoring the difficult
moment, until her curiosity got the better of her and she finally
asked the question that had been at the tip of her tongue all night.
Why
are we here?
For
a brief moment Lorenzo looked unsettled, as if he couldnt
find the answer, but he recovered quickly. Its the only
place in Port Charles that makes a decent pan de jamón,
he answered lightly, his smile renewed, deliberately misunderstanding
her question.
Alexis
glanced at the mostly empty dishes scattered around the table. Did
I miss that?
Lorenzo
shook his head. No, Im going to pick it up on the way
out, and we can have it for breakfast tomorrow. Bread stuffed with
smoked ham, green olives and raisins." He reached for the wine,
a Chilean red, and refilled her glass. "Its Venezuelan
tradition to eat pan de jamón Christmas morning, but
I dont want to wait.
Sounds
delicious, Alexis responded politely. She smiled her thanks
for the wine but just fingered the stem of her glass. She had put
herself on a strict two-glass limit when he ordered the wine, but
she was having a little trouble keeping track with his frequent
topping off. She didnt feel impaired yet; she still thought
he was a bastard, if that was anything to go by. But that
doesnt really answer my question, Lorenzo. Why did you want
to take me to dinner? Theres no one here to impress.
He
gave her his most charming grin, his blue eyes sparkling, and she
had to admit it was an impressive sight. Just my wife.
Oh,
now I know youre up to something, Alexis muttered. Apparently
he was planning to carry his performance all the way through dinner
if shed let him.
What
Im up to is making an honest effort to embrace our new partnership,
he insisted, a more natural smirk returning to his face. Youre
the one who convinced me how much more enjoyable our marriage could
be if we learned to work together. Thats what Im trying
to do. He shrugged and looked slightly away, seeming almost
nervous beneath his casual, cocky air. You also gave me a
long list of my less attractive qualities last night, and if I can
refute one or two of them, all the better.
Alexiss
eyes narrowed. Oh, so this is about sex again? she guessed.
Lorenzo
gritted his teeth slightly, but his manner remained pleasant. I
didnt say that.
Then
why do you care what I think?
He
smiled dryly, ignoring the harsh note of challenge in her tone.
Because I dont want my lawyer to think Im petty."
"Then
its a good thing Im not going to be your lawyer, isnt
it? she retorted.
Sure
you will, he disagreed, so calm and confident that she wondered
if he knew her resistance was pretense. You havent even
heard my offer yet.
Alexis
waved her hand, gesturing vaguely at the table. So this is
part of your sales pitch? This dare I say it normal
behavior?
"Is
it so terrible, Alexis? A husband and wife sitting down together
for a pleasant meal. No shots across the table, no stealth warfare
beneath it."
"Or
so it would seem." She raised her glass to her lips out of
habit, letting the smooth surface rest against her lower lip, and
ran the tip of her tongue lightly along the edge before she finally
took a sip of the deep red liquid. It wasn't bad; a bit fruity for
her taste, but a pleasant complement to the spiced meats that made
up the meal in various forms folded into arepas, wrapped
up in empanadas, spread over piles of rice and beans. She noticed
the way his eyes lingered on her mouth, seemingly distracted by
the casual sexiness of her mouths activity, and she took another
sip, sliding her tongue across her lips to dry them. She was testing
him now, and when she heard his breath hitch briefly, she felt a
small flush of satisfaction. At last, a little control. She lowered
her glass. But we both know this isnt real.
Lorenzo
hesitated, moistening his own lips before attempting to speak. Isnt
it?
No.
It
could be. I realize we dont have the most typical marriage
-- He paused to watch her as she raised her glass again.
but were both civilized, intelligent adults.
We have more than a few things in common.
So?
So
if we try, I think we can learn to enjoy each others company
and engage on a more personal level. And I know we can work together
to enormous mutual advantage.
Despite
everything? Alexis asked skeptically.
We
are where we are, Alexis. All we can do is move forward from here.
Alexis
set her glass down and shook her head slowly. I suppose thats
true. And I might even be able to do that. Im not one of those
people who need to even the score. I dont need restitution
for every lousy thing youve done to me. The problem is I dont
trust you. I can play this game, Lorenzo, very well I think. I can
convince everyone in this room that I love and adore my husband.
I can be civil behind closed doors, and I can be the best attorney
youll ever have. Maybe in the right light, at just the right
angle, if I forget everything I know about you, I might even find
you somewhat attractive. But it cant be real because I don't
trust you. Not at all.
Lorenzo
surprised her by shrugging off her statement. Thats
okay. I don't mind.
I
do."
Lorenzo
leaned back in his seat, an unreadable expression on his face. I
dont trust you either, Alexis. I've lost track of the games
you're playing, but I know almost nothing you do is uncalculated.
But I dont mind. In fact, I think I like that about you. Personally
Id rather cut to the chase like we did the other night in
the limo -- He looked her straight in the eye, as if seeing
if she was embarrassed enough to look away. but if you
need to keep playing games, go ahead.
She
held his gaze steadily. Did it ever occur to you that its
not a great idea to hire a lawyer you dont trust?
Im
peculiar, what can I say? he said lightly, but her face remained
unsmiling and he tried again, more serious this time. Im
not a stupid man, Alexis. I know when Im being manipulated.
But I want you anyway. As my lawyer, as my lover and as my wife.
She
contemplated him for a long moment before she responded. That
doesnt work for me.
Which
part?
Take
your pick. I cant work for someone who doesnt trust
me.
I
trust your skills, Alexis. I trust your professional pride and your
sense of professional responsibility.
You
think those are more important to me than my daughter?
No.
But Ill be cautious.
Why
bother? Sounds like a headache for you.
Because
I want to, he said very firmly, with a flash of intensity
in his eyes. He extended his hand toward her and for a moment she
thought he was going to take her hand, but he changed his mind and
his hand settled on the table instead, his fingers curling over
the base of her wineglass. She was startled by her physical reaction
to his encroachment it felt internal somehow, as if hed
reached in and curled his hand around the knot of nerves in her
stomach. Tell me what you want, Alexis.
Tell
me what youre offering," she countered, sounding much
cooler than she felt.
Lorenzo
shrugged. Money, power, perks. I want to satisfy your every
desire, Alexis, until you dont have the strength to say no.
She
ignored the blatant innuendo in his tone. "You think I can
be bought?
No.
But I think youre a highly rational woman and will eventually
see that this is the best solution to our impasse. You want to work;
I dont like the job you have. So how does two million a year
sound?"
The
way his fingers moved over her glass, tracing along the smooth edges
of the base, stroking lightly up and down the stem, was hopelessly
distracting. The glass was hers, dammit. She reached for it, intending
to pull it from his reach, but he moved first and tangled his fingers
with hers for a warm, tingling moment, leaving her a little angry.
"Suspicious,"
she answered curtly, freeing her hand and raising the glass to her
lips for a sip she didn't particularly want.
Lorenzo
shrugged. "It's a private company and I own every share now.
There's no one to object. If I decide that my new general counsel
is worth two million a year, so be it."
Alexis
ran the tip of her tongue along her upper lip. "Outside counsel.
I won't even consider working directly for your company."
"Worried
about protecting yourself?"
"Damn
straight I am."
"Inside
counsel makes more sense. I don't want you working for anyone else."
"Then
keep me busy. A suitably obscene retainer might motivate me not
to accept any other clients." Neither of them missed the shift
in her tone she was talking as if working for him were a
real possibility.
"I
want you in the office next to mine, Lorenzo pushed.
"Why?"
Because
it's my fantasy, he wanted to say. He didnt even realize
it until he'd articulated the request. "Convenience,"
he claimed. "I don't want to be on the phone all day, sending
papers back and forth across town. I want to be able to walk into
your office when I need to talk to you."
"I
need a little space, Lorenzo."
"You
can have it. The rest of your time is yours. I've lifted the restrictions."
"Lorenzo,
there is no rest of the time. There's work, and there's home. You
eat next to me, you sleep next to me, now you want to work next
to me?"
Lorenzo
grinned. "Maybe I like you."
"Right.
Even the most happily married couples need their time apart."
"And
not so happily married couples that are trying to build something
on a shaky foundation need their time together."
He
finally did take her hand from the table and raised it to his lips
with a touch so gentle it sent ripples down her body, and he gave
her a look warm with promise and sincerity. She felt suddenly dizzy
from trying to sort out what was pretense and what was real, for
herself as much as for him, and she closed her eyes.
"I
think this will be good for us, Alexis," he murmured against
her palm. "I think it will do wonders."
She
seemed to be standing in a riptide that tore the sand from beneath
her feet. Opening her eyes didnt help, and Alexis knew she
had to leave. She extricated her hand from his, pushed her chair
back halfway, and shook her head nervously.
I
think its time to go, she said. If you dont
mind Ill wait outside. I could use some fresh air.
She
was halfway to the door of the restaurant before Lorenzo had summoned
the check, and as he settled the bill he watched her through the
window pacing the sidewalk, seemingly oblivious to the cold December
air.
Ready?
he asked her when he emerged from the restaurant, pan de jamón
forgotten. Her pace had slowed, and she seemed less nervous.
She
nodded and shrugged ashamedly. Im sorry. I just
She didnt fill in the blank.
Lorenzo
offered her a tight smile and brief nod. Its okay. Lets
go home.
*****
When
they returned home from dinner, Lorenzo excused himself to finish
some work in his office and an exhausted Alexis headed straight
to bed, the last few restless nights having taken their toll. She
looked forward to a full, quiet night's sleep, all the more sound
for beginning it at least alone, but when she pulled open the drawer
of her dresser she was confronted with her almost-forgotten pajama
problem. She had intended to stop at Wyndhams after work,
but her dinner plans with Lorenzo had made her hurry home, and so
now she was once again left with a choice between wearing one of
the skimpy garments hed provided or delving into his drawers
again. The generally benign feelings that had prevailed most of
the evening evaporated, and she was annoyed with him all over again,
but worse than that she now remembered all too clearly the appearance
hed made in her unconscious the previous night. Did she dare
wear his clothes again, or was that inviting an encore?
She
stood there blearily for a minute and a half considering her options,
too weary to do more than roll her eyes at Lorenzo in absentia.
Sleeping at all was probably a bad idea, she suspected, but unfortunately
unavoidable. Eventually she decided that the impersonal sexiness
of cool silk was less dangerous than being wrapped again in soft
cotton that felt too much like him, and she picked the least revealing
one of the bunch, a deep cranberry chemise, and climbed into bed.
Her
eyes fell closed as her head settled into the pillow and her tired
body sank into the mattress, but she couldnt sleep, or maybe
she didnt dare sleep, and she was still lying there unmoving
but awake, her mind tossing, when Lorenzo came in much later. It
had to be at least midnight by then, and she wondered if it was
really business that had kept him, or whether his newfound manners
included giving her this bit of private time. Good boy, she thought
to herself, trying not to smile at the vague impulse she felt to
scratch him behind the ears. He moved quietly around the room as
if to avoid disturbing her, and she did nothing to let him know
that she was still awake. She didn't need another bedtime conversation,
and she didn't need any attention drawn to her flimsy attire.
She'd
left the light on in the bathroom, and the light that filtered through
the slightly open door was enough for her eyes to follow him as
he moved through the shadows like a big, silent, prowling
dog? No, he was more feline tonight. She watched as he kicked off
his shoes, casually tossing them into the closet with his toes,
but then bent over to straighten them where they fell. She watched
him slide his belt from its loops and hang it on a hook in the closet.
She watched him pull his shirt over his head and push it into the
dry cleaning bag they shared.
It
was all so utterly ordinary, just the evening routines of an orderly
man. He didnt seem very much like Lorenzo Alcazar, arms dealer,
in that moment, or even like the hard, angry man who had bound her
in marriage. He was just a man getting ready for bed. He could have
been her husband, a real husband, her very handsome and still sexy
husband, coming to bed a little late, and wouldnt he be pleasantly
surprised to find her waiting up for him? She wondered what he thought
about as he went about his tasks was he still Lorenzo Alcazar,
arms dealer, in his own head? Was he ever?
He
walked over to his dresser and emptied his pockets, pulling out
his car key, some loose change and a business card from one, a larger
key ring and his cell phone from another, his black wallet from
his back pocket. He undid his pants and pushed them down, taking
off his underwear at the same time, and Alexis knew she should close
her eyes. She peeked as long as she could, and when she knew he
was about to turn around to walk to the laundry basket, she finally
closed her eyes.
She
had to rely on her other senses to keep track of him as he continued
his preparations for bed. She heard him take pajamas from his drawer
and slip them on, and then he went in the bathroom and she followed
the distinctive sounds of his evening ablution. When he finally
climbed into bed, the mattress rumbled beneath her and the covers
tugged at her arms as he got himself settled, but just as she started
to relax he rolled toward her, much closer than usual, not at all
in keeping with his usual routine. He adjusted the way the sheet
and comforter fell across her, giving her back the covers that he
had inadvertently pulled off, and it was only as he did it that
she realized how exposed she was. Her right leg has slipped free
of the covers, and her already short nightgown was hitched high,
and she felt his fingers slide lightly over her bare hip as he fixed
her sheet. She tried not to tense, but the touch was too gentle,
too deliberate, too drawn out to be incidental, and too intimate
to ignore, and when finally the sheet fluttered down, covering her
again, Lorenzo didnt retreat to his side of the bed. Instead
he shifted on the bed and seemed to come closer still.
Her
heart was pounding fiercely, and every fiber of her being was attuned
to him, but she tried to maintain the charade of sleep. Her senses
went on overdrive deciphering his movements. She was suddenly proficient
in reading every shift and creak of the mattress as a roadmap to
where he was. She could see the faintest darkening over her closed
eyelids as he cast a shadow on her face. She could smell the mix
of toothpaste, facial scrub and moisturizer that came from his face,
and the more distant scents of sweat and lingering deodorant that
came from his body. She felt the heat that radiated off his body
as he seemed to lean in, and then his breath against the skin of
her cheek. She tried to keep her breathing steady and her body limp,
but then his warm lips arrived at the tender place just in front
of her ear, brushing extraordinarily gently against her skin, somewhere
between a tickle and a shock, and she gasped.
She
tried to cover her reaction by turning it into a sleepy half-yawn,
sighing and stretching and settling more comfortably on her back,
but her nerves were still twitchy and her skin felt flushed, and
she waited for him to withdraw so she could flex her muscles and
sweep her skin and discharge her nervous energy. Seconds passed,
and a wisp of hair on her temple made her itch, but he was still
there, hovering over her, watching her. She couldn't fake sleep
any longer, not under such close scrutiny, so she faked awakening
and opened her eyes slowly. Even though she knew he was there, still
she was caught off guard by the dark, handsome face that filled
her vision and the blue eyes that pierced her even in the shadows.
She meant to act surprised, maybe angry, but she forgot.
He
didnt say anything, and neither did she. His gaze seemed to
hold her in place, keeping her still so he could touch her, explore
her, but it was only his eyes that caressed her as they drifted
over her face. She didnt know how to react, so she just let
him watch her, and watched him back, feeling utterly naked and exposed.
He lingered at her mouth, licking his own lips, and she wondered
if he was going to kiss her, and she wondered what she was going
to do if he did. His eyes flickered up to her own once, twice
assessing her receptiveness, she guessed, or checking for permission
-- but she gave him no reading, no response whatsoever, and he scowled
briefly, then composed his face and pulled away. He lay down on
his back on his own side of the bed and turned his head toward her.
Their eyes met dead on again, curtained now.
Sweet
dreams, Alexis. The nights benediction was issued with
a faint grin teasing at his lips. Did he know shed been watching
him? Did he know about her dream?
Alexis's
eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, suspiciously. "Good night,
Lorenzo."
Exhausted
though she was, Alexis tossed and turned for hours, arranging and
rearranging the sheets, facing one way, then the other, then lying
flat on her back and staring at the ceiling, always conscious of
the six feet of warm male flesh lying almost naked beside her. He
tossed less, but he wasnt sleeping either. Every time she
looked in his direction he looked back at her, his clear blue eyes
almost glowing in the darkness, the silent connection between them
humming with electricity. He never said anything to her, and they
didnt touch even by accident, but it felt like he was waiting,
with admirable patience, though whether he was waiting for some
signal from her that would free him from civility, or just waiting
for dawn to release him from his confinement to bed, she wasnt
sure.
She
considered giving him that signal. It would be such a simple thing
to reach for him, to invite him even closer. He wouldnt turn
her down, she knew, and they could get lost in a frenzy of warm
body parts and discarded clothes and tangled sheets, and deal with
the rest of it in the morning. But it was a bad idea, that much
was true, and it might well be her last chip. It was best saved
for a rainy day.
When
finally exhaustion won out and she drifted off, he was there again,
right at the surface of sleep this time, seemingly waiting for her.
He
was upset about something and wanted to be alone, and she was happy
to oblige, so she left him there in bed. She dragged the comforter
with her as she got up, wrapping it around her almost naked body
to make a modest retreat.
Hey!
he objected, grabbing for the escaping comforter in vain. I
need that.
So
do I, she shrugged. You can have it back later.
Safely
entombed in down, she picked up her clothes from the floor and swept
toward the bathroom. He was quick, though, and he cut her off before
she made it to the door. His arms wrapped around her, down comforter
and all, and held her tight against his chest.
"What
do you think you're doing?" she objected fiercely, as she tried
in vain to pull away from him. Shed bound up her arms all
too effectively in the comforter, rendering herself helpless.
"Claiming
my comforter and my wife. Come back to bed." He nuzzled warmly
against her neck, sending little shivers up her spine.
She
yanked her shoulder up in a half-hearted attempt to push him away.
No.
"Yes."
"You
said you wanted to be alone."
"I
changed my mind. I want to lie naked with my wife." He sounded
very matter-of-fact, a little petulant, and quite determined to
have what he wanted. He continued his gentle attention to her neck
and throat, and she sighed in frustration.
We
dont do this, she objected. She was confused more than
anything. Shed never expected him to force the issue.
Its
about time we did.
She
gave a final heave of her shoulders in an attempt to free herself,
but his hold was firm and unassailable. Ignoring her protests, he
lifted her off her feet, carried her kicking to the bed, and tossed
her down on the mattress. Before she could untangle herself he was
on top of her, heavy and strong, straddling her hips to keep her
still.
Let
me make love to you, Alexis. He used one hand to hold the
comforter wrapped tight around her arms, while the other hand searched
for an opening farther south, moving through the layers of down
in quest of bare skin.
She
struggled against him, but it was useless. Youre not
thinking clearly, Lorenzo. This is a mistake.
I
dont care. I need you." He reached skin, and his hand
was gentle against her stomach, stroking her softly, coaxing her.
She couldn't help but respond to the warm touch, and she whimpered
her distress. You want this as much as I do, baby, he
growled. Please, just for today, let's forget everything else.
"I
can't, Lorenzo. She was almost sobbing, fighting against the
pleasure of his touch. She knew she was giving in, but it was equal
parts ecstasy and agony, like a drug she didnt want warming
her, lighting every nerve, intoxicating every sense.
You
can.
Both
his hands had found flesh now, and she wasnt fighting him
anymore. One hand slid low, between her legs, and her muscles went
limp. She let him ease her legs apart. Oh
just this once,
Lorenzo, she mumbled.
Just
this once, he agreed.
Something
woke her from her light sleep a squawk on the baby monitor
or a beep from the clock and Alexis was cursing a silent
blue streak before shed even opened her eyes. She was dreaming
about him again, damn him, and that made her furious, but even worse
shed been interrupted again. This was getting ridiculous.
She sighed heavily, rubbed her eyes hard and rolled onto her side,
instinctively facing away from his side of the bed, wishing she
could push him out of her mind and life as easily.
She
had just closed her eyes again, hoping to fall quickly into a more
restful sleep, when she felt Lorenzos hand on her bare shoulder,
startling her. He was suddenly very close behind her. She could
feel his chest against her back more than his chest, really,
and more than her back he was almost spooning her, for gods
sake, and that really wasnt helping to subdue the very warm
and liquid sensations swirling in her belly.
Another
bad dream? he asked gently.
He
didnt seem to be teasing, and she wasnt sure how to
answer. A bad dream? Not exactly. She remained silent, not trusting
her voice, but shrugged in a way that might have been taken for
a nod.
Why
dont you tell me about it? he encouraged, his voice
soft and intimate with sleep. Maybe it will help you sleep
if you talk about it.
She
shifted onto her back to break the suggestive contact, rolling into
him in order to force him to retreat and gain a little personal
space, but he settled onto his stomach, leaning casually over her,
his face just a few inches from hers. His fingers toyed lightly
with the strap of her chemise, so idly she couldnt object.
No
no. Talking never helps anything.
He
cocked an eyebrow. Interesting philosophy for a lawyer.
She
shrugged vaguely. What works for legal disputes doesnt
necessarily work for feelings.
Feelings?
Why
had she said feelings? E--emotions. Memories.
Fears?
She
bit her lip, grateful he was on the wrong track. Maybe.
Was
your dream about me?
No.
No, of course not. Her cheeks flushed slightly.
My
brother? he asked more quietly, looking down at his own hand
on her shoulder.
No,
she said softly.
Then
tell me about it. Whatever it is, Ill help you slay the monster.
His hand moved to the side of her head, and his thumb brushed her
hair back from her face.
She
looked at him warily, biting her lip, and shook her head. You
should be careful making offers like that. You dont know all
my monsters.
Tell
me, he coaxed, his voice low. Whatever it is, Ill
take care of it. Ill keep you safe, Alexis. His fingers
drifted down her cheek, brushing lightly over the edge of her mouth.
Why?
she whispered.
Lorenzo
shook his head and frowned just a bit. I dont know.
They
were both silent and still for what seemed like an eternity, their
eyes entangled in a languid game of chicken neither particularly
wanted to win. Alexis finally broke the spell, turning her head
away, and she slipped out from beneath Lorenzos watch. She
climbed out of bed, mindless of her exposure, just glad to have
made her escape.
No
monsters tonight. Im fine.
*****
Although
they werent due to meet Victor until six in the evening for
a pre-opera supper, they flew down to New York early Saturday morning
because Alexis requested time to shop. There were some things you
just couldnt get in Port Charles, and she looked forward to
an afternoon spent amid the holiday chaos of New Yorks designer
boutiques.
The
last few days had passed quietly: Lorenzo didnt push, and
Alexis didnt question, and neither of them brought up the
strange thing that had appeared between them. They had spent hours
talking terms on his job offer, which had the unexpected result
that they began to develop a new mode of interaction, calmly businesslike
and respectful and uncluttered by the circumstances between them.
She hadnt yet formally accepted his offer, but theyd
hammered out most of the details and they both knew she would say
yes eventually. She was still holding out for something more, though
even she wasnt quite sure what it was. She had no doubt he
would give it to her as long as she asked the right way. Overall
she was quite pleased with his responsiveness to her guidance. She
was careful, though, never to present anything as a command.
They
reached 57th and Fifth by eleven, and Alexis stepped out of the
limousine, expecting to say goodbye to Lorenzo and go on her way,
shadowed by her usual two-man security team but otherwise unmolested.
She was surprised when Lorenzo climbed out of the car after her,
slipped on his overcoat and closed the door.
What
are you doing? she asked.
Coming
with you, of course.
She
froze in the middle of pulling on her leather gloves. No,
youre not. You have something better to do. Im sure
of it.
Lorenzo
shook his head. No, I dont.
She
sighed. Isnt there somebody you need to see? Some underworld
meeting for you to attend?
Nope.
Then
go over to the U.N. and drum up some business. Go to a museum. Ill
meet you at the hotel later.
Lorenzo
straightened the ends of her scarf in an oddly caretaking gesture.
I have plenty of business, thanks, and I dont want to
go to a museum alone. I want to tag along with you, Alexis.
Her
face scrunched as if that statement was almost incomprehensible
to her. Why?
Because
its what husbands and wives do. Its Christmas in Manhattan,
and I want to take my wife shopping. Its a tradition.
So
are any number of other husband-wife activities that we dont
participate in.
A raised
eyebrow was the only indication of his opinion about that state
of affairs. And it will give me a chance to learn more about
you. How you shop, what you like
Theres
no need, really. You know all you need to know about me.
He
ran his hands down her arms until he found her gloved hands, and
he squeezed them lightly. Come on, Alexis. Youre supposed
to want to drag me shopping with you. Ill hold your purse
while you try things on, carry your bags. I promise I wont
peek at what you get me.
She
squinted at him. Why would I get you anything?
A grin
tugged at the corners of his mouth. Well, Christmas is coming.
Her
mouth fell open briefly. Did he really imagine she would buy him
a present? What a bizarre thought. She shook her head. Well,
Im not Christmas shopping today. I just need to buy a few
things for work.
Ah,
for your new job. Lorenzo nodded wisely.
Maybe,
she hedged.
Terrific.
Ill help you pick things out.
I
dont need help, Lorenzo. I prefer to shop alone. Somehow
her old wardrobe seemed too tame for the new position. Lorenzo Alcazars
attorney should look a certain way, shed decided, particularly
since she happened to be his wife as well. She was in the market
for darker, sleeker, shorter suits, higher heels, a new batch of
silky things to wear underneath. And pajamas. God knows he was paying
her enough to indulge an entirely new wardrobe.
A
second opinion is always helpful.
Im
not particularly interested in your opinion.
Given
that Im both your husband and your boss
Oh,
you are not my boss. Her eyes flashed a warning and she started
to turn away, but Lorenzo caught her arm and held his other hand
up in a gesture of peace.
Correction,
client. Given that Im both your husband and soon to be your
sole client, I think my opinion should carry some weight.
Well,
it doesnt. And even if it did, your presence wouldnt
be required. I have a pretty good idea how your commentary goes.
Shorter, tighter, lower cut. Is that about right?
You
say it like its a bad thing. Lorenzo shrugged. Is
there something wrong with wanting my wife and attorney to look
like the drop dead sexy woman she is?
Under
the circumstances, yes. Its degrading. If you want someone
to play dress up with, find another wife. Ill bow out gracefully.
I
dont want another wife. This one suits me very well.
He turned her back to face him and stepped closer, well into her
personal space. I like looking at your legs, Alexis. And the
rest of you. Well be spending a lot more time together. Why
shouldnt I want it to be as enjoyable as possible?
Its
inappropriate, she objected. You should be listening
to me, not staring at my legs. Youre paying me a small fortune
to provide brilliant advice, not to pose for your perverse office
fantasies.
You
can do both at once, and so can I. He smiled wickedly. I
promise I wont respect your advice any less just because Im
thinking about the things we could be doing on your desk.
Thats
just offensive, Lorenzo. She turned away in disgust and started
to walk down East 57th, but Lorenzo caught up in just a few long
strides.
You
can hate it all you like, Alexis, but you know as well as I do what
an advantage it is to look a certain way. Ive seen you do
it. Ive seen how you pick out a particular suit when you have
a big day in court. It gives you power.
Yes,
when I do it. Not when you dress me. Not when youve cast me
in a non-speaking role in your little fantasy world.
Its
a nice fantasy world, Alexis. He slipped his arm around her
waist and brought her to a halt, trying to claim her attention,
but she pointedly looked past him as he articulated his vision.
I can see it now. Were sitting at the negotiation table.
My attorney is brilliant and beautiful and sexy, and shes
my wife. Every man in the room wishes he were me, wishes he got
to take you home at night.
She
turned a cool gaze on him. You wish you got to take me home
at night, Lorenzo. You dont. Not that way.
Lorenzo
shrugged. Its my fantasy.
Alexis
shook her head. You have this all worked out, dont you?
You know how you want me to look, and how you want me to behave.
Whats left for me to do?
Surprise
me.
How
can I surprise you, darling, if you dont let me go?
She smiled sweetly at him, gritting her teeth. I promise that
every time I try something on Ill ask myself if you would
approve.
That
wont be necessary, because Im coming with you.
Lorenzo crossed his arms, his body language utterly definitive.
You can choose where to go and what to buy, but I may make
a suggestion or two. Ill even pay.
I
dont need you to pay. I can buy my own clothes.
Consider
it part of your signing bonus." He gave her a sly look out
of the corner of his eye. "And don't worry. I wont expect
you to thank me. Unless you want to.
Alexis
sighed. There didnt seem to be much point in continuing to
argue with him. If it came down to who was more stubborn, theyd
stand there on the sidewalk all day and night, miss the opera, and
shed go back to Port Charles empty-handed. Shed give
him this round. Hed worn her down. She turned and walked away
without a word, heading toward her first shop, leaving him standing
there on the sidewalk chuckling to himself.
A doorman
opened the door as she swept inside and she wandered about the first
floor of the boutique, her aim uncertain, fingering a soft, colorful
scarf here, a simple black cashmere overcoat there. She declined
offers of assistance from several saleswomen. Her expectations were
low. It was only the first stop on her shopping spree, and as such
it was just a warm-up, a chance to get in the mood, find her rhythm,
retrain her eyes to scan racks and shelves efficiently, and maybe
flex her shopping muscles with a minor purchase or two.
Out
of the corner of her eye she saw Lorenzo enter the boutique, and
he was quickly approached by a very tall, very blond salesgirl,
who clearly had a well-trained eye for a promising target. Alexis
didn't like the way she was sizing up Lorenzo, or the way she flashed
her blindingly white teeth as if whatever pleasantry he'd tossed
off was the most charming she'd ever heard, or the way she touched
his arm conspiratorially as if to underscore that everything
absolutely everything in the store was available to him should
he want it. Alexis made her way over to them, approaching Lorenzo
from behind, and slipped her right arm quite intimately low around
Lorenzo's waist. He looked down at her with surprise but his pleasure
was clear, and she turned in to him, glad for the way his arms came
around her to welcome her. She gazed up at him with the most lustful,
lovestruck expression she could manage and stroked his cheek with
her diamond-lit left hand.
"Can
I steal you away for a moment, darling? I think I am going to need
your advice after all."
"Of
course," Lorenzo murmured obediently, offering her a matching
gaze of devotion and a light kiss on the lips.
"Would
you like me to set up a dressing room for you, ma'am?" the
girl asked behind them, her smile now far less sparkling.
Alexis
didn't bother to look at the girl. "No, I dont think
that will be necessary," she responded. She drew Lorenzo with
her and toward a display of clothes on the opposite wall. Lorenzo
went willingly, beyond amused at his wife's display of territoriality.
"Why,
Alexis Davis," he murmured to her. "Was that jealousy
I saw blazing in your eyes?"
She
threw him an indignant look. "Not at all. It's just that women
like that make me sick. She knew damn well you were married but
it didn't stop her from throwing herself at you."
"So
it wasn't me personally that you were defending when you were feeling
me up. It was the institution of marriage."
"Exactly."
"I
thought you said you wouldn't object if I had an affair."
"A
discreet affair. That means I don't have to witness any part of
it."
"So
if I were to make a discreet phone call to the store to find out
when she gets off, and then maybe slip out of the hotel later for
a discreet rendezvous, you wouldn't mind?"
She
just glared at him, unable to summon an acceptable response. She
couldn't very well tell him that if he did that she'd kill him.
He wouldn't take it the right way. Mercifully, he spared her the
need to say it out loud.
"Don't
worry, Alexis. Im not going to have an affair. I have high
hopes for our partnership, and I'm not about to shatter them."
He
slipped his hand behind her neck, taking advantage of the opportunity
to draw her into a full kiss, knowing she wouldn't resist at this
particular moment. When he released her, her eyes flitted up to
his, dark with uncertainty.
"I'm
not worried," she claimed quietly, her defensiveness instinctive.
She looked away nervously. "I bet women like that throw themselves
at you all the time."
"Sometimes.
But I prefer a woman who's more of a challenge. Someone who engages
me mind and body."
She
arched an eyebrow. "Have you no soul?"
Lorenzo
shrugged. "Mind, body and soul, in the best of all worlds,
but I'm adept at making do." Framing her face between his hands,
he kissed her again, slowly and sweetly, and when his lips pulled
away from hers her eyes stayed closed for a long extra beat. "Not
only are you my wife, Alexis, but you are the most attractive woman
in the room and the only woman who makes my blood race."
"You
don't " She frowned and shook her head. "I dont
know why we're even talking about this."
She
turned away from him and tried to focus on the sparing selection
of suits before her, but he wrapped his arms around her from behind.
Oh, Alexis, he murmured in her ear. This isnt
going to be easy, is it?
She
shrugged her shoulder uneasily and slipped free of his arms, moving
away to resume her shopping. Lorenzo kept an eye on her as she browsed,
but she ignored him and he didnt disturb her. When she finally
went to the register with a pair of gloves in her hand, an unnecessary
but innocuous purchase, Lorenzo appeared at her side, pre-empting
her attempt to offer her own credit card.
Please,
let me, darling, he insisted, a teasing twinkle in his eyes.
The
salesgirl was too busy smiling at Lorenzo to notice the dirty look
Alexis gave him just before she leaned in and kissed him lightly
on the lips. Youre so wonderful to me, she cooed.
Her voice dripped with honey, bitter only to his ears.
In
the next shop Alexis finally found her rhythm and began to settle
into a productive shopping mode, and she disappeared into a dressing
room with a half dozen things to try on. Lorenzo sat in a comfortable
chair just outside, waiting for her to emerge, but she stayed inside,
denying him the chance to offer his opinion. After twenty minutes
she finally came out empty-handed, having second-guessed herself
out of everything. She hated that she did it, but as she tried on
each item she couldnt help but look at herself through Lorenzos
eyes, trying to guess his reaction, and the Lorenzo in her head
wasnt exactly wowed by any of it.
Nothing
you liked? he asked.
She
shook her head. No.
Lorenzo
stood up and thumbed through the discarded clothes the salesgirl
was hanging on a rack to see what Alexis had rejected. What
about the blue suit in the corner? he asked, gesturing to
the opposite end of the store.
Alexis
glanced over, slightly surprised to find that Lorenzo had been paying
that much attention. She had seen the blue suit and dismissed it
out of hand there was nothing particularly wrong with it;
it just didnt capture her attention. Before she could tell
him that, though, the salesgirl had gone to retrieve it in Alexiss
size, and Alexis was headed back into the dressing room. Obligingly
she tried it on, expecting nothing, but when she looked in the mirror
she was surprised. It seemed to come alive on her. God help her,
Lorenzo was right.
How
is it? she heard him ask from outside her door.
Not
bad, she conceded.
Let
me see.
Reluctantly
she opened the door, nervously submitting to his inspection. His
eyes lit up and sharpened in a very gratifying way, and she felt
a little prickle of female pride.
Well
take it, he told the salesgirl, and then he handed Alexis
another suit and an armful of other clothes hed picked out
while he waited. She accepted them wordlessly and retreated back
into the dressing room to try them on.
By
the time she was dressed again and ready to check out, she had half
a dozen pieces, all picked by Lorenzo, and she liked every one.
She was headed to the register when Lorenzo stopped her.
What
about this? Lorenzo held up a black suede jacket, knee-length
and sparkly and sleek.
Alexis
rolled her eyes. It was gorgeous, but totally frivolous and impractical.
Definitely not on the shopping list. What about it?
Try
it on for me.
I
dont need it, Lorenzo.
So?
Do you like it?
Yes,
but
Then
try it on. Itll look great.
She
hesitated another moment, and then slipped it on over her street
clothes, and it did look great. She loved it, but it wasnt
on the list. Ill never wear this, Lorenzo. Its
not worth it.
You
love it. Its worth it to me. He could tell she just
needed a little more convincing, and he reached out to stop her
as she took the jacket off. Why not wear it now?
Alexis
bit her lower lip as she considered the suggestion, but she couldnt
hide the enthusiasm that crept into her eyes. Why the hell not?
She smiled almost shyly at him and pulled the jacket back over her
shoulders. Okay.
He
offered his own credit card again, and she didnt argue, but
neither did she thank him. As the salesgirl rang up the charge,
Lorenzo glanced sideways at Alexis. Dont I get a kiss
this time? he teased.
Alexis
gave him the expected filthy look, but then much to his surprise
she pasted an adoring expression on her face, slipped her arms around
his waist and slid in to give him a kiss, this one slower, more
suggestive, a great deal more appreciative for the substantial sum
he had just handed over.
Thank
you, darling, she rasped as she pulled away, leaving Lorenzo
tongue-tied and breathless.
He
carried her bags to the limousine and they continued on foot. She
led him through all her favorite midtown designer boutiques, and
he bought her everything, feeding the unexpected undercurrent of
gamesmanship and flirtation that ran beneath their shopping expedition.
With every purchase Lorenzo garnered a kiss, its intimacy and duration
well-correlated with the amount he spent, and though he knew it
was just a mocking gesture on her part, a scathing reference to
the entire idea of being kept, still he enjoyed the game, and he
did his part to encourage her to part with as much of his money
as possible. He chatted with the salesgirls, he encouraged her to
try on things she hadnt selected, and his eagle eyes swept
over her every time she stepped out of the dressing room. He had
very definite opinions, not half as shallow as shed guessed,
and she waited for his verdict each time before she went back in
to change.
I
liked the first one better. Theres too much going on around
the neckline. Simple is better on you.
Boxes
and bags piled up in the limousines trunk: half a dozen ready-to-wear
suits that would have to be tailored back in Port Charles, all striking,
sexy and intimidating; silk blouses and camisoles; a pair of jeans,
a short brown leather skirt Lorenzo slipped in when she wasnt
looking, a grey cashmere shawl just for the hell of it. She skipped
the pajamas, which was just fine with him. And then she introduced
him to shoes. Up Madison to Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin,
then back down to Manolo Blahnik and Otto Tootsi Plohound, where
he bought her a pair of knee-high leather boots that should have
been illegal. He watched her slide dozens and dozens of shoes on
and off her feet, and he began to develop a new appreciation and
some very definite preferences of his own.
Alexis
took to the game like a duck to water. He would never have guessed
her for the type, but once she relaxed she seemed to thrive on the
uninhibited shopping. If she liked something and especially
if he liked it, too she bought it, not worrying about whether
something better was around the corner, not worrying how useful
it would be, how many purposes it served, what it went with. She
focused only on what looked and felt best and what brought on that
darkening in Lorenzos eyes. An almost manic energy carried
them as the game snowballed and they flirted relentlessly, aggressively,
tension building.
He
spent ten thousand dollars on a dozen pairs of shoes, and still
she was dragging him back in the store for that one pair she couldnt
bear to leave behind.
What
do you say? he asked her teasingly.
Please
She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her
tiptoes to kiss him deeply, leaning into him with no shame. He didnt
care that she was teasing him. He didnt care that it was a
joke to her. He slipped his hands beneath her coat, exploring what
he could before she pulled away.
Okay,
he agreed, breathing heavily. On one condition. I pick the
next store.
Her
slow, wicked smile was a bolt of lightning straight to his loins.
"Then I want the silver boots, too."
"Well
"
He pretended to hesitate, his eyes moving slowly over her mischievous
face, lingering at the enticing curl of her lips. "Okay."
Another
ten thousand dollars and two more boxes for the trunk. He'd been
planning to come back for the boots anyway. A Christmas present
perhaps, and he'd hope and pray that someday he'd get to see her
wearing those and nothing else. They were ridiculously extravagant,
adorned with real silver studs, but hed been damn near paralyzed
by the jolt of desire that swept down his spine when she tried them
on.
He
led her by the hand down Fifth Avenue to 47th, the icy wind that
blew in their flushed faces pleasantly bracing, and he took her
to a jewelry store in the diamond district. Hed done business
there before, and they were led to a subdued room in the back, where
Lorenzo spoke privately with the jeweler about what he wanted to
see. Alexis was quiet as they waited, and quiet but cooperative
as the jeweler brought out various pieces for them to look at, but
Lorenzo paid careful attention to Alexiss reactions, to the
glimmer in her eyes that told him more than her polite responses,
and he made his selections.
There
was no kiss for him this time. Alexis was still quiet as they got
back in the limousine. The jewelry would be delivered to their hotel
later under armed guard.
How
much did you spend in there? she asked him quietly as the
car door closed.
Lorenzo
hesitated. The business part of the transaction had of course been
handled discreetly, out of earshot of the lady. Six figures.
It was more like seven.
Alexis
nodded slowly. Im not a prostitute.
Lorenzo
drew back slightly, but left his hand where it was, resting on her
leg. I didnt imagine you were.
What
did you imagine? A thousand dollars buys you a kiss, so a million
dollars should buy you a roll in the hay? Are you expecting a whole
night or just a quickie in the backseat here?
Alexis
Lorenzos voice trailed off in protest and dismay. I
imagined that a million dollars buys me some pretty rocks that look
lovely on my beautiful wife.
Its
a waste of money either way.
Ill
be the judge of that. Its my money to waste.
Im
not worth it. I mean, Im flattered if you think I am, but
youd only be disappointed. You should probably get your money
back.
She
turned her head toward the window so he couldn't see her face. He
wanted to kick himself. It wasnt fun for her anymore; it was
frightening. Hed pushed it too far, jacked up the ante and
sent her running from the table. Just like he always did.
Alexis,
I didnt " He needed contact and so he reached
for her hand. She let him take it, but her hand was limp in his.
"I thought we were playing a game. I didnt mean to make
you uncomfortable. I certainly didnt imagine buying you that
jewelry was going to get me a quickie in the backseat or anything
else you wouldn't willingly grant. I like buying you things. Thats
it.
"Okay,"
she said in a flat, unreadable tone. "We should get to the
hotel. I have a three oclock nail appointment.
Sighing,
he leaned forward and spoke to the driver. Alexis remained quiet
the rest of the way, but by the time they reached the hotel, her
nerves seemed to have settled back down again. As he helped her
out of the limo, she gave him a smile he took as both forgiveness
and apology.
Thank
you for everything, Lorenzo, she said politely.
*****
"You're
looking forward to this, aren't you?" Lorenzo concluded as
he watched Alexis prepare for their evening at the opera. He was
reclined on the bed in their Manhattan hotel suite, having already
showered and shaved but still wearing his hotel-issue white Turkish
cotton robe. There was a stack of business documents nominally spread
out beside him. He had intended to use this time before they were
to meet Victor for dinner more productively, but he was far more
interested in watching her dress. She was still in her robe, a cream
silk confection that didnt reach her knees, but beneath it
shed already donned black stockings and the black Louboutin
heels hed bought her that afternoon. The dress and jewelry
would come last.
Alexis
looked past her own reflection in the mirror and regarded him cautiously.
"I am," she acknowledged, disregarding her usual rule
against making such admissions to him. "I haven't been to the
opera in far too long. I enjoy it. The rituals, the music, the excitement
of getting dressed up and stepping out of a limousine in front of
Lincoln Center."
"Maybe
we should make a habit of it, Lorenzo suggested lazily. I've
never developed much taste for the opera, but perhaps you can teach
me to appreciate the finer points." He gave her a crooked grin,
and she returned it with a raised eyebrow.
"Perhaps,
she offered, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. For all
her lingering grievances and the uncomfortable moments, she would
admit that hed been making a genuine effort to be the sort
of husband he imagined she wanted, and naturally she was gratified,
but this particular effort amused her to no end. There he was, the
dangerous Lorenzo Alcazar, rough around the edges, lounging on the
bed as if he owned the whole damn city, utterly unconcerned about
how inadequately his robe covered him, the force of him in every
way barely contained, suggesting that she tutor him in the finer
points of opera. It was more than amusing; it was enticing in its
way. Though he was hardly the uncultured swine she had initially
assumed him to be, still there was something volatile and appealing
about taking Lorenzo Alcazar to the Met. Shed always found
the gentile trimmings and rituals of opera in New York at odds with
the art forms essence and her own recollections of the powerful
men shed known who had embraced it. Having Lorenzo on her
arm would add a new layer of excitement to the evenings entertainment.
Alexis
returned her attention to her own reflection and the makeup she
was in the midst of applying, and Lorenzo continued to watch her
transform herself. Of course the most mysterious preparations had
gone on behind the closed door of the bathroom, but even those she
was willing to undertake in plain view fascinated him. For forty-five
minutes he'd watched her contending with her hair, attacking it
with brush, dryer and styling cream. He was sorry to see the wet,
messy curls surrender, but he liked the sleek, straight hair that
alchemized, too. Who was he kidding? He'd like it any style as long
as he could thrust his fingers knuckles deep through her hair as
he kissed her.
After
the events of the day, he was cautiously optimistic about the evening.
If he could manage not to screw it up again, if he could keep his
impulses in check, he might finally make her his wife in whole.
There was a part of him that hesitated, but it was no match for
the force his desire had reached. Though he still fought to convince
himself that he didnt really want her and reminded himself
again and again of all the reasons why he shouldn't have her, hed
been doing his damnedest to woo her into bed for days. Well, he
already had her in bed. Woo her to his side of the bed. Naked and
passionate. Not that it had to be in a bed at all. Couch, floor,
kitchen table, wall, car, desk, shower, plane. Any of them would
do. All of them had done at one time or another in his imagination.
He wasn't fussy. And he was certain she wanted it, too. Well, almost
certain. There was a chance she was playing him -- in fact, he was
almost certain she was playing him but that didnt mean
her desire wasnt real. She was excited about the evening,
and he knew it went beyond her enthusiasm for the opera. Her eyes
were unusually bright, her skin glowing. She looked radiant.
Keeping
one eye on her continuing activities, particularly the moment when
she dabbed perfume between her breasts, Lorenzo stood up, shed his
robe and began to dress himself. He finished knotting his tie just
as Alexis stood up from her dressing table, hair and makeup finally
done, and turned around. She looked him up and down, evaluatively,
as he did the same to her with a far less critical eye.
You
look very handsome, she said, light dancing in her eyes. Except
Except
what? She was eyeing his tie with dissatisfaction, and his
hands moved to his neck protectively.
Except
this. Let me. She stepped close and reached for his tie, brushing
his hands out of the way. He stood there obediently as she unknotted
and re-knotted his tie, but he had to work hard to keep his eyes
up and his hands at his side. Her short robe hung loose, barely
belted anymore, offering a glimpse of her black lace underwear and
the full length of her black-sheathed legs.
So
did you always love the opera or was it a New York thing?
he asked, trying to distract himself with conversation as she worked.
She
looked up at him briefly, giving him an odd look he couldnt
identify. My brother, Stefan, took me to the Met to see Faust
when I turned eighteen. That was the first opera performance I remember
seeing, but the music was always there, even when I was a young
child. She tugged on the twin tails of his tie, adjusting
them until she was satisfied they were straight, and then she took
a step back to give him a final inspection. "My father was
very fond of the opera."
chapter
8
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