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Idle
Hands
by Lionel
chapter
5
"What's
this?" Lorenzo asked as a single sheet of paper fluttered down
to the table in front of him. His dinner, eaten alone at the dining
room table, had just been cleared away when Alexis appeared behind
him and tossed the document into the empty space.
"That's
a list I drew up of some changes we're going to make." Alexis
took a seat at the opposite end of the table, wearing her reading
glasses and holding a black pen, with her own copy of the document
in front of her.
She
had been noticeably absent from dinner, despite his standing request
that she join him, barricading herself in the sanctuary of Kristina's
room where she knew he wouldnt disturb her. When she finally
emerged after putting the ailing little girl to bed early, he had
asked her to sit and eat with him, but she had refused, claiming
to have eaten earlier, and then disappeared into the study with
her laptop. He wasnt in the mood to fight her on it, so he
let her go. He could only guess that the paper he held now reflected
the fruits of her labor.
"Changes?"
Lorenzo quickly scanned the typed list. "Why would I agree
to any of this?"
"Because
I'm going to insist on it, Alexis answered, her manner brisk
and business-like. As you said earlier, one of the essential
premises of our marriage has changed, and I think it's only appropriate
that we take this opportunity to renegotiate certain terms. I really
don't think I've been unreasonable in my requests. There's nothing
there that you can't live with."
Lorenzo
looked at her skeptically. "And there's nothing here that you
haven't lived without for the last two months. You're not going
to fall on your sword over any of this."
And
neither are you. You'll give me what I want so you can keep what
you have. Theres no need for either of us to be impaled.
Lorenzo
tossed the paper on the table dismissively. "Do you honestly
think you can bluff me, Alexis? You expect me to believe that if
I refuse to lift these restrictions youre going to call off
our marriage and let me tell Sonny about Kristina? I know you better
than that. You're not going to risk your daughter over anything
so minor."
Alexis
nodded serenely. "Oh, you're right, Lorenzo. I can live with
all of the rules you've imposed, and obviously I have lived with
them for two months. They don't really bother me as much as you
might hope. But I don't want to live with them anymore. I've submitted
quite peacefully to your rules up until now and put up with far
more than I needed to because I assumed, incorrectly as it turns
out, that this arrangement would be short-lived. Now that you've
made it clear that there's no end in sight, the boundaries of what
I'm willing to tolerate have changed. And if you would like to keep
me as your wife, helpful and cooperative, you will agree."
"Or
what?"
"Or
the next time we socialize with your very important friends, you
will find that the damage I can do dwarfs any advantages you might
have hoped to gain from our marriage."
Lorenzos
jaw dropped slightly. "You'd sabotage me?"
"Oh,
yes. With great skill."
"I
won't give you the chance. You'll never see those people again."
She
smiled contentedly. "Actually, darling, we have plans to see
some of them this weekend. Did I forget to mention that? Victor
invited us down to the city on Saturday to join him at the Met.
I told him we would love to go. They're doing Puccini's Turandot.
Are you familiar with it?"
"When
did all of this come about?"
"He
mentioned it last night at dinner. We had a long talk about our
mutual appreciation for opera. I called him this afternoon to finalize
the arrangements -- while you were sleeping, in fact."
Lorenzos
eyes narrowed. "If you sabotage me, I'll tell Sonny."
"Maybe
you will, maybe you won't. I dont think you will, but if you
really would throw my daughter to the wolves like that rather than
honor my reasonable requests, its probably just as well we
end this now. Because to be perfectly honest, if you can't compromise
with me on even these small points, I don't see much hope of a long-term
future, Lorenzo.
He
watched as she rose from her chair and came to stand behind him,
putting her hands on his shoulders and squeezing in a casual, intimate
way. She leaned over him to reach for the sheet of paper hed
pushed away, pulling it in front of him again, and then she spoke
softly very close to his ear.
Take
another look, Lorenzo, she purred. Is anything I've
requested here really worth blowing everything up? I thought you
were a smart, reasonable man. Perhaps I would be better off taking
my chances with Sonny."
Lorenzo
smiled ruefully as he read more carefully through the list, trying
not to let her closeness affect him. She was pulling out all the
stops, and he couldnt help but admire her ability to play
the game. "So is this the way it's going to be now? You think
you're in a position to negotiate with me just because I find you
useful?"
"Oh,
I hope not, she murmured, turning her eyes from the paper
on the table to him. He glanced back at her but he didnt turn
his head, knowing if he did her mouth would be so close to his that
hed have to kiss her. I dont especially want to
spend every evening in negotiation and battle with you, Lorenzo,
and I'd rather not have to lob threats back and forth every time
you ask me to do something or vice versa. I think all of this would
proceed more smoothly if we learned to view our marriage as a mutually
beneficial partnership. She annunciated the last three words
slowly as her hand slid down his chest. Learn to work with
me, Lorenzo, instead of giving me orders; you may find it enjoyable."
He
pushed her hand aside and stood up to get away from her, hating
that she was winning so easily on all fronts, and he went to the
kitchen to get himself a glass of water. When he turned away from
the fridge, she was standing in the doorway watching him. He noticed
for the first time that her feet were bare. Jeans, a close-fitting
black sweater and bare feet. Damn. He couldnt muster even
a hint of hostility, not the slightest memory of the way shed
lashed into him the night before. But he remembered very vividly
the way she tasted. He took a second glass from the cabinet, filled
it with water and brought it over to her. Accepting the glass, she
leaned against the doorjamb with her arms loosely crossed. He stood
opposite her in the doorway, closer than natural, mirroring her
position.
He
raised his glass slightly and bowed his head in concession. To
a new beginning.
She
raised her glass to meet his, the corners of her lips turned up
in a satisfied smile, though it didnt reach her eyes. To
a new beginning.
He
watched her take a sip of water. "I notice theres nothing
on your list about sex, he pointed out.
She
licked her lips, swallowed and shrugged. "Why would there be?
I don't negotiate sex. I'm not a prostitute."
"If
we're settling into this marriage for the long haul, I'd like to
cover all the bases. I don't relish the prospect of continued celibacy."
"I
wouldn't object if you were to conduct a discreet, impersonal affair."
He
gave her a dark look. "I don't want to have an affair, Alexis.
I want to have sex with my wife."
She
shrugged in an infuriatingly calm way, her eyes never leaving his.
That was never part of the deal, Lorenzo. Even if I were so
inclined, which I'm not, it's a complication we really can't afford.
"You
were so inclined last night."
"That
was a lifetime ago.
No,
it was less than twenty-four hours ago.
It
was a moment of mindless physical indulgence brought on by dinner
and wine and the mood of the evening. It wasnt about you and
me. It was about hormones.
Bull.
You wanted me.
Briefly.
Im over it.
She
couldnt have sounded more careless and unaffected, and it
made his blood burn. He didnt want to be the only one harboring
this troublesome desire to extend their marriage farther than was
wise. He had no business wanting this woman, but hed feel
better about his transgression if he wasnt alone, and he was
quite sure he wasnt.
You
dont need to make excuses for being attracted to me, Alexis.
Theres no one else here. No ones going to think any
less of you. Just admit it. You may not like it frankly,
neither do I but its there.
She
raised her glass to her lips and shook her head slightly. Please
dont presume to tell me how I feel about you.
His
voice dropped lower. I think that what happened last night
was that you lost control over the game youve been playing
these last few days. It got a little out of hand on you.
She
lifted an eyebrow. Oh, what game is that?
Youve
been seducing me in your way. Playing on my emotions, making me
admire you, making me want you. Lorenzo removed the glass
from her hand and set it on the counter behind her with his. It
worked, but you know what they say about getting what you wished
for. He put his hands on her hips and sidled closer.
Seems
to me you were the one doing the seducing last night, she
pointed out, taking no notice of his advance.
A small
smile cracked his mien, and he tugged lightly on the loops of her
jeans, rocking her toward him on one side, then the other. He thought
he saw a flicker of heat in her eyes. Yeah, maybe I was playing
you, too. You never intended to follow through, just like you dont
right now, but you lost control a bit, didnt you? Lorenzo
shrugged. So did I. Dont feel bad. There are worse things
than wanting to go to bed with your husband. His thumbs found
the gap between the waistband of her jeans and the edge of her sweater,
and he stroked lines across her bare skin.
Under
the circumstances, Im not sure thats true, she
countered, her voice slightly strained. Her gaze was steady, but
he could tell her breathing wasnt quite so easy anymore. She
wasnt as unaffected as she wanted him to believe. I
think wed be lost without our hostility.
Oh,
it wouldnt be so terrible, Alexis, he murmured. He lowered
his lips to her neck to graze on the tender skin and felt her stomach
muscles tighten against his fingers. She hadnt slapped him
yet, so he pushed his luck, inching his hands up her ribcage, warming
her skin with his palms as he exposed it to the air. Its
okay if we lose control again.
Im
not going to lose control, Lorenzo, she said very quietly.
Im not even tempted.
No?
He could feel the heaviness of each ragged breath she took, and
he pressed his body against her, trying to flood her with the sense
of him.
No,
she confirmed flatly. I want you to take your hands off me.
She
didnt even deign to push him away. She just waited, as if
there was no question that he would obey. He stepped back, but he
deliberately trailed his fingers down her stomach as his hands fell
to his sides. The icy resolve in her eyes, pillared by the dislike
that never seemed to leave her gaze for very long, quickly cooled
his ardor. He hadnt meant to get worked up himself, just to
repay her teasing and knock her off the chaste pedestal shed
claimed, but hed failed to cut through her infuriatingly untouchable
façade.
Do
you think Im comfortable with this, Alexis? he asked,
angry again about his own weakness. Im not.
Then
stop pushing the issue.
You
started it with your little routine at the table.
What
is this, third grade?
It
seems that way sometimes.
Says
the man who gets his jollies poking my pigtails in the inkwell.
She
turned to leave but he put his hand on her arm. At least I
can be honest and admit that Im attracted to you. You should
try it.
No,
thanks.
Im
serious, Alexis. You dont have to admit it to me. But be honest
with yourself. Put the rest of it aside for a minute and acknowledge
how you feel about me as a man.
She
removed his hand from her arm. I cant put it aside,
Lorenzo. The rest of it is my reality, and its
not very pretty. Please dont insult me by expecting me to
forget how you feel about me and exactly what the circumstances
of our marriage are. Again she turned to leave and again he
held her back, but this time she threw off his hand angrily. You
want to know how I feel about you as a man? I feel youre a
sick, controlling, egomaniacal bastard with an astonishing capacity
for self-delusion and a remarkable appetite for pointless, petty
cruelty. What part of that am I supposed to be attracted to?
Lorenzo
flinched at the vehemence of her barrage, his face registering shock
for just an instant before he restored it to its usual smirking
passivity, but she was gone already, storming off to the living
room, before he could respond in kind.
*****
The
rest of the evening passed mostly in silence, punctuated by only
the most necessary, brusque exchanges, as Alexis immersed herself
in her work curled up on the living room couch and Lorenzo hovered
nearby reading. She ignored him for the most part; though she would
have preferred to be someplace where he wasnt, experience
had taught her that he would only follow were she to retreat to
the study or kitchen or guest room, and so she figured she might
as well opt for the venue she found most comfortable. The real sacrifice
was made by Lorenzo, who would have much preferred to be working
at the desk in his office and chose to sit on the couch only to
annoy her, though he received some small compensation from the opportunity
to observe her casual fidgeting and the two times she stretched
her legs and her bare feet inadvertently pushed against his thigh.
He condemned himself as pathetic for counting such scraps as nourishment.
When
she gathered her papers together, placed everything back in her
briefcase and then headed off to bed without a word, Lorenzo followed
soon after, determined as always to intrude whenever possible, but
she barely spared him a glance when he came in the bedroom. She
was at her dresser, about to retrieve her pajamas, and Lorenzo froze
mid-stride on his way across the room when he suddenly remembered
his impulsive tyranny of the previous day and the unfortunate fate
of her pajamas. His rash decree abolishing conservative nightwear,
designed to tweak her natural modesty and flush out some sort of
response beyond her usual icy toleration of his tactics (and perhaps
to satisfy his own prurience as well), now seemed hopelessly childish
to him, and not at all in keeping with the spirit of their newly
agreed upon partnership. He considered retreating rather
than face her wrath head on, but he quickly dismissed the option
as cowardly and entirely unbecoming of a man who held her fate in
his hands. It was too late anyway. She was already rummaging through
her drawer, her agitation increasing steadily as she pulled out
one unfamiliar garment after another.
He
retrieved his own sleepwear from his dresser, continued to the other
side of the bed and began to change out of his clothes, keeping
an eye on her. She stood at her empty drawer now, temporarily stilled.
On the floor around her were half a dozen garments in a variety
of colors, sexy babydolls and chemises, and in her hands she held
the red chemise that would have made such a smashing follow-up to
her dress the previous night. He watched her shoulders heave several
times as she struggled not to explode. When she turned on him, eyes
blazing, he met her with a steely gaze of his own and a tight smile,
determined to maintain the courage of his vanishing convictions.
I
bought you a few things to sleep in, he said kindly enough,
pre-empting whatever her initial attack was going to be. I
think theyll look lovely on you. He pulled up his pajama
pants and released the waistband with a snap.
She
glared at him, too furious to speak, licking her lips and swallowing
several times as she searched for the appropriate words. Who
the hell do you think you are? she asked finally.
Your
husband. The man who sleeps beside you every night.
Not
by invitation.
By
mutual consent.
And
you think that gives you the right to treat me like a dress-up doll?
Like bimbo Barbie?
Not
at all. Im not going to insist that you wear any of it. It
would be fine with me if you slept naked.
She
shook her head, anger boiling over. If looks could kill, hed
have gone the way of his brother. Youve been pushing
and pushing, Lorenzo. This crosses the line.
I
know, he said, holding up a hand in a gesture of conciliation.
Im sorry. He hadnt intended to apologize,
thought he felt no inclination at all to do so, but the words came
out. Clearly they caught her off guard as well, and she was suddenly
more surprised than angry. Im just tired of seeing you
covered up from head to toe. Who sleeps like that? Its too
much.
Its
December, Lorenzo. Its twenty degrees out.
Its
plenty warm in here. Look at me. He waved proudly at his bare
chest.
Id
rather not.
Im
fine like this. Youll be perfectly comfortable in that.
Really?
Do you have a lot of experience wearing these sorts of things? Because
in my experience theyre the farthest thing from comfortable.
You cant actually sleep in them; theyre designed with
the needs of the viewer in mind.
Which
is more than I can say for your pajamas.
She
yelped in frustration. Im not here for your visual enjoyment,
Lorenzo, she cried.
I
know. I know. He tried his best to look penitent. She took
a deep, cleansing breath, clenching and unclenching her fists. He
couldnt tell if she was calming herself or winding up to hit
him.
And
what, may I ask, have you done with my pajamas?
Theyre
gone. And so are the sweats, he added, just as she was bending
down to open the bottom drawer. She looked through the rest of her
drawers anyway, in search of anything comfortable to sleep in. Somewhere
she should have had an old t-shirt of Jaxs that she saved
for those times when she most needed to be comforted, but she couldnt
find it. If he got rid of that, she was going to kill him.
You
jerk, she muttered as she slammed a drawer closed. She stalked
over to Lorenzos dresser and pulled open the top drawer, taking
out a white t-shirt, and then she ransacked his other drawers trying
to find a pair of pajama pants.
Laundry
day, he explained when she came up empty.
She
eyed the pajama pants he was wearing. Take them off.
Excuse
me? These are my only clean pajamas.
Maybe
you can wear this. She threw the chemise at him.
Reds
not my color.
Deal
with it. Take them off. You owe me.
Im
naked under here.
I
dont care.
Its
against your new rules. No flagrant nudity.
Well
consider this grandfathered in.
Fine.
He hooked his thumbs in his waistband. Turn around.
Oh,
please. All of the sudden you have a sense of modesty? Youve
been waving little Lo around here for weeks. Ive seen what
there is to see.
Her
dismissive attitude bruised his ego and temporarily deflated his
usual boldness, and he turned around to slip off the pajama pants.
When he glanced back over his shoulder he caught her looking at
his butt with slightly raised eyebrows and a very agreeable look
of appreciation. Hah. He knew it. He dangled the pants over his
shoulder very smugly, and she quickly pulled her eyes up.
Thanks.
She grabbed them from his hand and headed to the bathroom, slamming
the door closed behind her.
Lorenzo
stood there contemplating the closed door for a minute, a slight
smile creasing his face. He felt a little out of breath. That exchange
had been
interesting. Kind of fun. He certainly got a reaction
out of her, and it was a lot more satisfying than if shed
simply put up with his confiscation as another burden she had to
endure. And she was going to wear his clothes, which to his mind
was a hell of a lot sexier than any of the things he had picked
out. Maybe there was something to be said for compromise. Maybe
she had the right idea.
He
grabbed a pair of boxer briefs from his drawer and sat down in bed
to wait for his turn in the bathroom. He was ready to sleep, but
she seemed to be taking forever again. Though there were four other
bathrooms in the house, he had insisted on sharing hers, and now
he had to wait until she decided to come out before he could brush
his teeth and go to sleep. It was his own damn fault, but he was
increasingly impatient as the minutes ticked away, and he wondered
what she was doing.
After
thirty minutes of waiting he finally got out of bed and went to
listen at the bathroom door. It was quiet in there no movement,
no water. Maybe she was doing one of those mask things. Maybe she
was doing nothing, just waiting him out, hoping hed go to
sleep before she came out. He wouldnt put it past her to keep
a book in there just to make him wait. Then again, maybe she was
taking care of other needs. She had to have needs. The image of
her in there indulging herself at leisurely length, determined to
remain impervious to him, suddenly took over his brain. He tried
the handle, but it was locked.
Alexis?
Everything okay?
Fine,
came the muffled reply. He heard some rustling, then some running
water, and finally the door opened.
All
yours, she said, but he didnt really hear her and he
didnt step out of her way and he forgot all about what she
might or might not have been doing. He just stood there staring.
Somehow
he'd forgotten she would be wearing his clothes. She should have
looked a little ridiculous, but didnt at all. Ridiculously
sexy was more like it. She had rolled up the pajama pants and knotted
the waistband, and the t-shirt was too big, but the fact that none
of it was cut for a woman somehow accentuated every womanly curve,
and he had a sudden urge to undertake an archaeological expedition
to unearth the true form buried beneath the layers of cloth. The
real killer, the thing that made it awkward for him to be standing
there in his underwear, was the way the soft cotton of his t-shirt
stretched over her breasts with a hint of tightness, not yet yielding
to the unfamiliar shape, creating a devastating silhouette of weighted
curves accented by mouthwatering little nubs. Shit. He wasn't going
to get any sleep at all tonight.
He
didnt realize he was staring until he felt her hands cradling
his face. Her hands were graceful and feminine and touched him gently,
even if they were the hands that killed his brother. She tipped
his head up until his confused eyes met hers, and then she rubbed
her thumb over the corner of his mouth. Youre drooling,
she told him with a wicked smile and patronizing tone.
Her
nastiness did nothing to cool him this time, and he couldnt
muster a comeback. He just stood still as she brushed by him on
her way to bed. He continued into the bathroom, brushed his teeth,
and seriously considered taking a cold shower or quickly indulging
himself, but there was something appealing about the prospect of
the torture that he knew the night would be, and he wasnt
inclined to spare himself. It was the sort of thing that needed
to be worked through, not buried. Maybe a night spent grilling himself
about every grating thing about her would do the trick.
When
he climbed back into bed her back was to him, but he could tell
from the tension in her shoulders that she was still awake. The
delicate curve of her back, swathed in soft cotton, beckoned him.
Hed be damned if he wasnt going to touch her at least
once. He leaned close to her, putting his hand over her top arm,
at the point where her slender tan arm was engulfed by the white
sleeve, and he spoke casually just behind her ear.
Thanks
for wearing that, Alexis. You look amazing in my t-shirt. Twice
as sexy as you would in any of that stuff I bought you.
He
felt her bristle, and the sheets rustled as she shrugged him off.
He fell back onto his own pillow, satisfied enough with the dig,
unaware of the effect his momentary advance had had on its recipient.
He would have been pleased if he had realized that Alexis was frozen
in place, straining to steady her breathing after the jolt his touch
had given her.
She
cleared her throat lightly when she was finally able to speak. I
really couldn't care less. Im comfortable. Thats the
only thing that concerns me. She rolled farther away from
him as if to punctuate her words.
Lorenzo
closed his eyes and reached his hands for the bars above his head.
Goodnight, Alexis. Sleep well.
It
took several seconds, but eventually the response came back to him,
muffled in the busy silence that filled the room. Goodnight,
Lorenzo.
chapter
06
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