She ignored the question and fired one of her own. “Is there
news? Something from Luke?”
“No, baby, there’s not,” he said sadly. “But
he’ll find something. I know it.”
“Where have you been all this time?” she queried, and
to Sonny it sounded like an accusation. Did she feel he’d abandoned
her?
“I needed to—I went to meet Carly to tell her about this
situation. Explain why I’m here.”
Alexis rolled her eyes, and threw off the blanket covering her.
She left the couch and crossed the room, keeping her back to him.
He drank in the sight of her in a delicate satin nightgown that
clung to her feminine curves. The slit up the side allowed him a
generous glimpse of those long, long legs she possessed. Guiltily,
he shook away the wanting that crept into his body.
“I suppose then that we should be grateful it wasn’t on
the six o’clock news,” she snapped.
He moved until he stood close to her, anxious to have her look at
him so he could figure out how to help her. “I took care of
that Alexis. I told Carly she couldn’t talk about this to anyone.”
“And Carly always listens to you, doesn’t she?” she
retorted, a cocktail of scorn mixed with sarcasm thickening her
voice.
Sonny reached out to touch her shoulder and turn her to face him;
her arms were folded across her body protectively. She still refused
to look at him.
“Sweetheart, I know you’re hurting, but--”
“Why are you doing that?” she interjected.
“Doing what?”
“Using little endearments with me. You’ve done it since
yesterday…honey this and baby that. Now it’s sweetheart.
That’s not how you normally speak to me. So why are you doing
it now?’’
Sonny was a little shocked himself. He honestly hadn’t realized
he’d done it so often. But those words were terms that always
lived in his mind in reference to her. Words he’d only felt
free to use one time in their relationship…that glorious night
they had shared. He knew he wasn’t supposed to use them now,
but it wasn’t easy to stop when he felt so connected to her
again.
He stared at her, afraid that his heart was in his eyes. But looking
at her now, he was pretty confident that she wouldn’t notice.
Alexis was wound up like a guitar string…taut.
“Hon—Alexis,” he corrected himself, “we’ve
been up all night and all day. We’re both tense. Why don’t
we just try to get some sleep?”
She didn’t answer him, but as he moved closer to her she took
two or three steps away. He stopped, exasperated. “You wanna
tell me what this is?” he asked her pointedly.
“I need space,” she told him, shrugging her shoulders.
“That’s all?”
She turned away from him, lowering her head and hiding her face
in the chestnut fall of her hair.
Sonny walked up close behind her again. “Lex, is that all that’s
wrong here?”
She whirled around to face him suddenly breathing fire, chest heaving.
“No, you’re what’s wrong here!”
“Me?”
“Why are you being so nice to me? So damn supportive?”
He angled his head, trying to get a better look at her, or perhaps
trying to look into her mind. “Because our child is missing
and we’re both worried sick.”
“But why aren’t you angry at me? When are you gonna yell
and scream and blow up like you usually do?!” she shouted.
She was literally trembling with emotion, tears beginning to stream
down her face. Knowing she was tenuously holding on to her control,
he spoke quietly to her. He felt as if he were trying to diffuse
a bomb.
“Lex, I’m not mad at you. I don’t wanna be mad at
you. I’m mad at Helena, and only Helena.”
“But you should be mad at me! This is all my fault! It’s
me she hates! I’m the reason she took our baby! You should
yell at me! You should hate me!”
“I can’t do that. I could never hate you—”
“Oh, don’t you lie to me!” she raged. “You hated
me once! After—after my sister died, and I ran for DA, you
told me so—you told me that you would BREAK me!”
Sonny’s breath caught. It hurt him that she threw that in his
face. “And you stood up at a press conference and promised
all of Port Charles that you’d bring me down,” he reminded
her softly. “We both said and did stupid things back then,
Alexis. Out of pain. But we didn’t hate each other, not really.
And I don’t hate you now.”
“Don’t you understand that you should?” she railed,
her voice shrill. “I took two years of your child’s life
from you…two years that you’ll never get back. And now
you may not EVER know Kristina. And you’re telling me you don’t
hate me for that? You’re a liar, Sonny. A liar!”
He stood there in silence, knowing that she needed to get it all
out. He had fought back with Carly, but he couldn’t fight Alexis.
She was in pain and he needed her to get through that by any means
necessary…even if it meant she hurt him in the process.
“Isn’t this the very definition of irony?” Alexis
said, laughing now in a bitter humorless way that bordered on hysterical.
“I mean, look at the situation objectively. I hide my daughter
from your vile, reprehensible business to protect her. I deem you
and your ‘mob family’ unfit to be part of her life. But
it turns out the only ‘family’ that poses a threat to
her is my own! How hypocritical and ridiculous and pitiful and unbearably
tragic is that?”
She stepped into his space and poked her finger into his chest.
“So, come on, Sonny, tell me the truth! Tell me you hate me!
You have every right! Because I did this awful thing to us two years
ago, and now this is my penance! To lose my child!”
She stopped because she ran out of breath, not words, and collapsed
onto her knees in front of him heaving in great mouthfuls of air.
“I can’t get through this,” she moaned. “I can’t
get through this. I hate myself and I need you to hate me, too!
Just do that. Just hate me! It’s what I deserve.”
It broke Sonny’s heart to see her humbled before him like this…the
savvy, smart, strong, beautiful Alexis disintegrating before him
under the weight of her emotions. Helena had brought her to this
state once before…when the woman had kidnapped Alexis and unleashed
her undead progeny, Stavros, on the world. And Sonny had been there
to hold her while she sobbed out her fear and rage…
He would do no less now. He would do what his heart told him to:
forsake his own resentment, his own anger at what she’d done,
and humble himself before her as well. He sank to his knees, not
quite knowing how to take the pain from her heart…but knowing
that he would gladly spend his life trying.
His hands lifted to frame her face, his thumbs wiping away the tears
that kept falling. His eyes closed as he leaned his forehead against
hers and sighed.
“You protected our daughter in the way you thought was right,
and I forgive you for keeping her from me. Her kidnapping is not
your fault. I don’t blame you. I don’t hate you. And I
won’t let you do those things to yourself.”
He opened his beautiful dark eyes to her and sought to look into
her soul with them. Her breath hitched as she felt the force of
truth in his intense stare. The misery built up inside her began
to melt away. He didn’t blame her. She couldn’t believe
that he didn’t blame her…
“I care too much, ‘Lexis,” he told her earnestly,
as if reading her thoughts. “I will not let anyone hurt you…not
even you.”
