The Flower Series
by Sue

June - Variegated Tulips

My Mother's Day brand new coffee maker was a wonder; I was able to make great coffee - not just drinkable, but great! Sonny of course said it was the special blend Corinthos Kona/Columbian beans that 'came' with the coffee maker, but I knew differently because for three mornings straight I had fixed Starbucks Breakfast Blend. Hey - when you have an addiction you must feed it. After a week or so of coffee success, my mind jumped to the conclusion that since the proper machinery and techniques led me to my inner barista, I might have similar results with - gasp - cooking. So I called Sonny.

After the raucous laughter subsided and he realized I was serious, he assented to show me a few basics to see if I was teachable. We made a date and at the appointed hour he escorted KD and I to the market so that I might learn the proper way to, as he put it, 'choose ingredients.' I called it buying stuff to cook and eat. Sonny had already planned a menu for a 'simple' meal. 'Simple' was obviously a relative term; his simple was my seemingly insurmountable, but being determined to do this, I chewed my lip and went along. I mean how simple does potato gnocchi and pork chops with Gorgonzola sauce actually sound? And that's in English - you should have heard him say it in Italian. I realize the Cerullo's had a big effect on his life but shouldn't a Cuban boy from Bensonhurst be partial to black beans and rice and those things that look like bananas but aren't? Is Italian the only cuisine he knows? Has he never heard of Stouffer's?

Anyway, in the market I got a lesson in potatoes, which I always thought were potatoes. No...I learned all about starch content and why you bake some and boil some and fry others. Then we hit the bakery aisle and I received a similar lesson in the different types of flour. By the time we got to the meat counter my eyes were glazed over and I knew I was in way over my head. I mean do I really care about the difference between loin and rib? I think not. But, I listened and think something soaked in. After visiting a few more aisles and adding more of those ingredients to the cart, we paid and went back to my apartment. It was show time.

We put nearly seven month old KD in her walker with some baby biscuits on the tray and got started. I would prefer not remembering the rest of that day but I'm afraid that every detail is etched in my mind forever. First of all, cooking is messy, yicky work. Eggs are delicate things that break in your hand if held too hard; flour is a dust that spreads over everything if mixed in too quickly; gorgonzola smells disgusting; snapping green beans is tedious, loathsome work; and as for cooking pork shops - I refuse to go there.

Anyway, chops finished, beans sauced, I was finishing the gnocchi under Sonny's watchful eye as he was feeding KD her dinner and telling her all about street stickball. By the time the last gnocchi was drained, lightly buttered and in the Gorgonzola sauce, KD was finished with her meal and Sonny and I sat down to ours.

For all of my trepidation and bumble fingers, the meal was edible...actually it was more than that - it was tasty. And I did it. I hated doing it but I did it, vowing that my next meal would be far simpler and attainable; possibly spaghetti sauce from a jar, pasta from the shelf, garlic bread from the frozen aisle, and salad from the salad bar - far less daunting, less cleanup, fewer instructions and almost as good. But, that cooking stuff wasn't bad. I could do it. Sonny could see the culinary pride I was trying hard to keep hidden.

"So - you think you're ready to take on Julia, do you?"

"Julia? Why would I want to take her on?"

"Competition. I figured that now that you've seen how easy cooking a gourmet meal can be, with your competitive spirit you'd be knocking on Julia's door demanding equal time on he show."

"Julia has a show? On television? What's she doing? Commentary? CNN, MSNBC, Fox? Where? And how do you know her? I can't remember ever mentioning her to you."

"You know Julia Child?" Sonny laughed. "I never would have imagined..."

"Julia Child? Who's that? I'm talking about Julia Capwell - we went to law school together. Smart girl - as least as law goes. Unfortunately it didn't carry over to men - last I heard she had married and divorced the same boozer a couple of times out in southern California, but I've lost contact with her over the years."

Sonny forked a piece of pork chop and popped it in his mouth as he shook his head. "You're something else, you know?"

I just grinned and raised my eyebrows. Actually I had done some legal work for Ms. Child on one of her cookbooks she turned into a cooking show, but I wasn't about to let Sonny know that. I was smart enough to know when being dumb was endearing.

We finished our meal and I got KD bathed and in her jammies while Sonny cleaned the kitchen. Together, we read Goodnight Moon to our daughter and put her into her crib after she had fallen asleep. As we stood there and watched our daughter slumber, Sonny's arms found its way around my waist and he drew me near. Wrapping mine around his, I laid my head on his shoulder as we continued to stare at our daughter. At that moment - at that very moment - I knew that we would work. No doubts, no apprehensions. We were going to be together and it would be fine. It was a perfect moment that was made more perfect by the soft kiss Sonny placed on my head. For the first time I could remember I was completely content with my life.

Sonny was going to be out of town for most of the next week, so a plan began formulating in my head. I know that I had vowed vengeance for Father's Day, but my sentimental side kicked in instead. The next morning I made a few phone calls and set up an appointment for the following day. KD and I were going to have a photographer do a portrait of us for Sonny. Toting half her closet and what seemed like a quarter of mine, we met the photographer. It took half a day, several locality shots, and more clothing changes than I cared to go thru the rest of my life, but looking at the proofs on his computer, I knew that it was worth it. At such a tender age, KD was a complete ham and charmed the photographer within an inch of his life. There was no way I could actually choose between the shots. Some of course were better than others, but this guy had a way with filters and soft lighting that made me look good. Finally we chose the series of poses where KD and I were both wearing white sundresses, and he suggested going with 13x15's of the separate poses and the 24x30 of me laying on my side on the grass, head propped up by my hand and KD sitting in front of me holding her foot with one hand and a red rose (thorn less of course) in the other. The color contract was striking and he had caught us both unaware - I was looking at my daughter with pure, unabashed love, and she was intent on the flower in her fist. There was no way we could ever have actually posed for that picture.

Fresh from our photo shoot, we stopped at a bookstore and after consulting with the proprietor, left with a cookbook she guaranteed was simple, yet contained mouth-watering recipes. It was going to be a good Father's Day. I went home to start practicing.

Sonny called several times each day while he was in Puerto Rico. He knew KD's schedule so he made it a point to call both when she was awake so he could talk to his little girl, and when she was asleep so he could talk to me. He discussed business, the weather, and how he missed us. Absence does make the heart grow fonder - I missed him and could tell that the feeling was mutual. Friday as we were returning from shopping, we met George the florist in the parking lot. Even from another country, Sonny was persistent. George followed me up with several pots of gorgeous tulips. Unlike the last ones, which were yellow, these were multicolored. Each tulip ran the gamut from deep red at the base, thru orange, to yellow at the tips. The care sheet told me that variegated tulips signified beautiful eyes. Sonny's card was simple and sweet. "I miss those eyes. Love always, Sonny." "Oh, baby," I said to KD "I miss your daddy too."

I was now even more anxious for the next day and his homecoming to arrive, and evidently so was Sonny because he came right from the airport to the apartment. I had given him a key earlier, so when I heard the door unlock as I was coming out of the shower after putting KD down for her nap, my heart skipped a beat. Quickly throwing my robe on and with hair still dripping, I poked my head out of the bedroom.

"Hey"

"Hey. Sorry to barge in, but I just couldn't wait to see you both." He walked over to the doorway in which I stood and looked at his watch and grinned. "KD sleeping?"

I nodded nervously. "She's been down for about 30 minutes."

"You smell good." He moved closer and snaked his arm around my waist. This was not good. I was fresh out of the shower, very glad to see him, and there was nothing separating us except what, in the department store had seemed to be a luxuriously thick terry robe. Now, up against Sonny, it seemed more like tissue paper. As he drew me close, his other hand cupped the back of my head, entwining his strong fingers in my wet hair. He dipped his nose into the crevice under my ear between my jaw and neck and breathed in deeply. "You smell very good." His mouth was a millimeter from my skin and every word left the trace of his hot breath sending chills thru me. My body involuntarily leaned into his and my arms wound around him as I threw back my head exposing my neck to the tiny feathery kisses he began tracing from my ear to the hollow at the base of my neck.

For a brief moment he raised his head and our eyes met. His, dark with desire and want, closed as his lips gently brushed against mine then he kissed my eyelids, my cheeks, and my nose before returning to my mouth. Kissing me gently, yet with passion, his tongue lightly licked the corners of my mouth before he pulled my lower lip in between his lips and sucked. My stomach did flip-flops, my knees turned to jelly, and an intense warmness moved southward from my stomach. We were both shaking and I tried to remember if his mouth had been that soft before. Sonny's arms encircled my body and his hands began to caress me from the base of my head to the small of my back. Sonny's body pressed hard into mine and moved me backward into my bedroom as one hand began to fumble for the belt of my robe. I pressed my mouth harder onto his, darting my tongue into his mouth anticipating the feel of his hands on my bare skin when KD started to cry.

Our eyes opened, we looked at each other and began to laugh.

"Your daughter has terrible timing," Sonny said as he headed for the nursery.

I had to chuckle. Obviously KD remembered the deal we made back in February - the one where she was to save me from myself. I quickly got dressed while Sonny tended to our daughter. The rest of that day was relaxing and uneventful, yet it was one of the tensest days I ever remember spending. With hardly five or six sentences between us, Sonny and I had been on the way to an encore of the night KD had been conceived. But where that night had been one full of anger and pain, today was full of the most unimaginable sweetness and anticipation I had ever felt. I wanted him - God, how I wanted him - but this time I wanted things to be perfect. It was no longer 'if' but 'when.' When we made love...when we spent the night together...when we gave ourselves to each other...it would be the culmination of the most romantic night of our lives and not a moment of passion and want that progressed to the next level. I wanted us to be fully aware ahead of time of what was going to happen. I wanted an explosion of anticipation - the romance of which novels are made. Convincing Sonny would be easy - convincing myself would be the problem. Thanks goodness for babies that needed immediate attention.

After a quiet dinner, we bathed KD and put her to bed. We stood over her crib as we had done many nights in the past, but on this night, instead of beside me, Sonny stood behind me and pressed his obviously needful body against mine, as he nibbled the back of my neck and let his hands wander. I closed my eyes and heaved a huge sigh of sorrow. Sonny stopped his ministrations.

"Oh, oh. That's a 'no' if ever I heard one."

"I'm sorry." I turned around and looked at him with tears brimming. "I just want it to be perfect when we do, and I want to, I really do, but it seems too soon. Can you understand?"

Sonny wiped my tears away with his thumbs, kissing my eyes. "Alexis, I understand. Don't cry. It's OK. Shhh."

"I'm so sorry."

"Honey, don't be. Don't ever be afraid of how you feel or what you want. You want to take this slow - I understand. I told you that you were driving here and I meant it. You set the pace. Now let me see those gorgeous eyes of yours."

I looked at him and I knew that he understood completely. Sonny kissed me softly on the mouth and backed away.

"I'll call you in the morning, OK?" And then he left me standing in the nursery where I stayed for a long time, marveling at my daughter and her father. I was one lucky woman.

UST - unresolved sexual tension - there was a lot of that floating around the next two weeks. Gradually, the freshness of the night Sonny returned from Puerto Rico was pushed into the back of our minds and we almost returned to the same routine and banter as before the trip. I say almost because now we both knew that it was only a matter of time before we let nature take its course. Meanwhile I was busy planning for Father's Day: menus, cards, shopping and waiting for the photographer to deliver the portraits, while wondering where to hide them when he did. Johnny suggested we have them delivered to Harborview Towers and hide them in PH2, since I had planned to celebrate Father's Day on Sonny's home turf.

So early Sunday morning, KD and I hustled over to her Daddy's and we let ourselves in. Johnny brought up the groceries and I got busy in the kitchen. Thirty minutes later, Sonny appeared in the doorway with a huge grin on his face and dimples for both KD and I.

"What could be better than to wake up and find the two most beautiful girls in all the world in my apartment?"

"Waking up and finding out the oldest one cooked you breakfast?"

"I said better, didn't I dumpling?" Sonny crooned to KD who smiled back.

The thrown potholder missed his head as he ducked and chuckled. "I'll have you know, Mr. Smarty Pants, that the biscuits will be done in precisely five minutes, the juice is freshly squeezed and poured, and the cheese omelet will be ready just before the biscuits come out of the oven."

"Biscuits? You made biscuits?"

"Well, not technically, they're those frozen ones but they taste homemade."

Sonny kissed me on the cheek and sat at the table. "What's the occasion?"

"Watch KD for a sec." I ran to the front door and opening it, whispered to Johnny to bring over the portraits and put them in front of the fireplace. Getting the two cards from the diaper bag, I went back to the kitchen and placed them in front of the man I loved more than life itself. "Happy Father's Day."

Sonny's eyes got misty - it was clear he had no idea what day it was - so after he saw his gifts and had breakfast, I would gently remind him to do something for Mike. Do you know how hard it is to find a Father's Day card "for the man I love" instead of "for the man I married?" Next to impossible, but my search was evidently successful from the look on his face. Opening KD's card had the biggest emotional impact, though. Sonny's first Father's Day was evidently the first time he fully realized fatherhood. I mean, he had before, but there was just something in his face when he realized that this was Father's Day and we were celebrating with him because he qualified. It was worth the price of admission.

Sonny showered KD and I with kisses and I playfully grabbed his hand, telling him to close his eyes as I led him out into the main room. His reaction as he opened them to the three portraits was straight out of the movies. The man was moved beyond words. He stared for the longest time, and finally said "Your eyes - our daughter definitely has your eyes. The most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. I'm the luckiest man alive."

Just then the smoke alarm went off in the kitchen. I guess lucky is all in the mind of the beholder.

part 07